I think this more than friendship. The looking into each others eyes, smiling, the gift you appreciate so much and everthing you describe with her in mind. I think you ‘re starting to realize that it’s getting more than friendship. Eventhough your gf is always besides you it doen’t change the fact that you are feeling something for her.
Now that you know it’s a possibility what do you want to do with this: continue till you fall in love or cut this out now before it escalates.
There’s plenty of cases of couples that love each other ultimately splitting up due to the issue of the future (schooling, jobs, children, etc.) If having children is a dealbreaker for you then the best thing would be to break things off quickly and cleanly rather than getting to the point where you guys are ready to have children, you not wanting to have any, and then him resenting you for it, eventually causing a harsher split.
It’s a sad situation. But if you guys have already decided to that you don’t want to be together past a certain point, why keep it going? The best thing would be to break off clean, go through the process of moving on, and possibly finding someone else that better fits how you want your future to be. It doesn’t mean you guys don’t love each other or don’t wish the best for each other. You guys just have different life goals that don’t line up with each other.
In summary, breaking things off now is better than waiting. It might hurt, but it would be the best for both of you.
Yeah, he’s definitely hurt by it because men are always told : “it’s not the size, but its the motion in the ocean”, until it’s not. Just admit that you’ve had time to sit back and think about it and let him know that you came off insensitive and realized that that didn’t sound right and you understand why he’s upset. Apologize profusely and that “thing” you told him you’d NEVER do…it’s time for you to do it. ?
Yep this is my plan for later this year! Already have a nice but inexpensive ring to propose with as a gift, and the intention is to go out with her afterwards to get a real engagement ring she'll be happy to wear for a long time. It's really the best option if you know your partner is picky about what they'll like.
You leave. If its text or discord or whatever, mute him or turn off notifications. Do not engage. Be very clear with him that psychology says not to give in when little kids decide negative attention is better than none. (That's probably not what it says, but the point is to let him know he's acting like a fucking child and you're not going to cater to that.)
Have you left this too late? Not in the slightest, I'm pretty sure I read a news article a couple of years ago about 2 80year Olds getting together and spending the last 10 or so years of their lives together. There is never a too late when it comes to finding a partner.
My biological father used to walk around without a shirt on and in his underwear, either boxers or boxer briefs. I was constantly uncomfortable living in the house with him, after a while I started to voice my discomfort and asked my mom to please ask him to wear some clothes when he’s in the house, his response was a lot like yours, he didn’t care about making me uncomfortable at all. He only cared about himself. If you don’t care about making this young girl uncomfortable, then maybe you should tell your gf that it’s a deal breaker for you. That poor kid doesn’t have any say in where she lives right now, and a young teen isn’t going to be honest when confronted by a half hard man. For all you know, she’s the one asking her mom to talk to you about it. She might not feel safe living with you.
I love him, i do feel like i was taking for granted that night though. I don’t ever want to lose him if we can work through it. We don’t really have any issues outside of that incident, it just really is bothering me still
If he wants to have any chance at staying with you he should tell other managers he refuses to participate in buy-out, cause it's insulting to you. After that you should probably both leave this job.
yeah i hate to be the breakup guy if their relationship is good otherwise, but this is not something anyone should be dealing with at 21.
as great as this guy may seem or be, you can find a great or better guy your age who is actually undergoing the same stages of life as you at the same time.
Well I would first say get ready to just take the bus and deal with the luggage. But it sounds like he's trying to take advantage of you for paying for a meal when clearly it jumps from a fast food place to a very expensive restaurant. I would respond back and say that given the current circumstances of your new internship, I'm sorry but you just can't afford that. Also, as much as you'd like to go, it's not near the station as ehat you suggested and would require you to double back and take longer to be dropped off and you need to catch your train. If he gets mad about you not wanting to pay, well have to call people like that out. State that you didn't need to, but were willing to pay for a meal for his gf when she wasn't giving you the ride, he was. And again, you started an internship that does not pay much and a 20 minute car ride doesn't wcactly equate to a $200 meal
Bro, she said she didn’t want to have sex one time, within your super short 6 month relationship and you act like the world is caving in on you? There could be an infinite number of reasons why, you should just ask her and stop overreacting.
I’m really hoping that he just wants to meet up to tell you that he is moving away somewhere very very far away and you will never see him again and he just wanted to let you know in person.
Yeah, I talk to all my friends like that, actually I say stuff that I know would be taken wrong by her to my other male friends and female friends, so in my mind I was being less open to her than others. I tell my guy friends I love them and I'm always there for them all the time. Idk in my early twenties I was a raver and our whole group was pretty comfortable just saying we loved each other and being open about our appreciation, so maybe I have a biased view to that sort of thing.
I'm pretty expressive when it comes to how I feel for my friends, but I knew with her being hesitant about me I probably shouldn't be. The only reason I opened up was because she seemed like she genuinely viewed me as a friend this last week, and was finally acting pretty normal around me.
Your advice is solid though, I think I'm just gonna step away from that whole thing since she seems to have a specific view of me, and I'll let her reach out if she ever wants to be friends instead of trying to convey that friendship is all I want.
Your sister didn’t give him hate. That is a hate born from your actions. I am also an affair baby, parents didn’t stay together – fortunately.
You can blame your sister for this. Put all the blame on her. But it isn’t true. It’s on you.
You and your husband did a cruel thing. It was cruel, and now, you’ve gotta live with the consequences. For better or worse. Listen to your son, respect his choices, and give him space. Also tell him the truth. Not your side but the truth.
I feel the same. I think he’s taking advantage of me or something like that. A week ago he asked me what we would do if we broke up, and said that he wouldn’t have problems being roommates. I couldn’t believe he would say that
You are not boring you have matured and realized life isn't all fun and games. You also are probably finding as you get older you don't recover from a night of drinking like you did at 20-25.
You GF though is not just trying to relive her youth, she is a hardcore alcoholic. She needs help. That behavior is going to take years off of her life, cause all kinds of health issues and affect personal relationships (which it clearly is). You can try to help her with this but I will warn you. Do not put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to addictions. Sometimes people can't be helped or don't want to be helped. I have seen a lot of people stay in those situations and get sucked down a dark hole.
It’s clear that for whatever reason, she doesn’t like giving head. If you can’t live without it, then break up. If you can live without it, quit asking her for it. You don’t want to pressure her into something sexual that she doesn’t want to do.
Second, what did you see on her phone? Why were you on her phone?
She is not an abuser based on what you’ve typed. However, the fact you said this “broke” you means that this is a hard boundary for you. So, yes imo I would break up, but you have to follow through and not use this as leverage to push or pressure her. She was sexually assaulted? That means she lost her voice, her power, her autonomy. That’s a powerful thing to lose, so waking up in a potentially similar situation can put someone in survival mode.
I would help her find support, not just therapy but a support group. I would also look for someone to check in with for yourself: friend, therapy, a hotline.
She sounds pretty selfish and cares more about getting her kitten punched on her schedule than your basic survival needs like sleep. Also I am sure there are plenty of guys out there who wouldn’t do her no matter what she wore.
That’s how I was introduced to women. That’s the only way I have been able to connect. I don’t want to reject her in person and make her feel bad I completely understand that I don’t. I have respected her boundaries and been honest the whole time and therapy isn’t for everyone. My last friend was an addict and she just used me I’m use to being everyone else’s tools and I’m trying to help gain perspective on how to approach it but this just wasn’t it. I don’t want just sex. I want more then that but I haven’t seen too many photos of her because my phone is fucked
He's too old for you.
Can you afford therapy? You have to work to get over your lack of self esteem that's causing these issues.
Dump this guy. Work on yourself.
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I think this more than friendship. The looking into each others eyes, smiling, the gift you appreciate so much and everthing you describe with her in mind. I think you ‘re starting to realize that it’s getting more than friendship. Eventhough your gf is always besides you it doen’t change the fact that you are feeling something for her.
Now that you know it’s a possibility what do you want to do with this: continue till you fall in love or cut this out now before it escalates.
There’s plenty of cases of couples that love each other ultimately splitting up due to the issue of the future (schooling, jobs, children, etc.) If having children is a dealbreaker for you then the best thing would be to break things off quickly and cleanly rather than getting to the point where you guys are ready to have children, you not wanting to have any, and then him resenting you for it, eventually causing a harsher split.
It’s a sad situation. But if you guys have already decided to that you don’t want to be together past a certain point, why keep it going? The best thing would be to break off clean, go through the process of moving on, and possibly finding someone else that better fits how you want your future to be. It doesn’t mean you guys don’t love each other or don’t wish the best for each other. You guys just have different life goals that don’t line up with each other.
In summary, breaking things off now is better than waiting. It might hurt, but it would be the best for both of you.
Daughter said she was obsessed with the father since HS
Yes. You desperately end up dumping it all at one person.
She'll probably not be faithful in the future
What do you base this on?
I’m laughing so much and I feel so bad. ???
Yeah, he’s definitely hurt by it because men are always told : “it’s not the size, but its the motion in the ocean”, until it’s not. Just admit that you’ve had time to sit back and think about it and let him know that you came off insensitive and realized that that didn’t sound right and you understand why he’s upset. Apologize profusely and that “thing” you told him you’d NEVER do…it’s time for you to do it. ?
My husband knew that he would never in a million years choose a ring I liked.
He proposed with a ring pop and then we chose our rings together.
Yep this is my plan for later this year! Already have a nice but inexpensive ring to propose with as a gift, and the intention is to go out with her afterwards to get a real engagement ring she'll be happy to wear for a long time. It's really the best option if you know your partner is picky about what they'll like.
My husband knew that he would never in a million years choose a ring I liked.
He proposed with a ring pop and then we chose our rings together.
You leave. If its text or discord or whatever, mute him or turn off notifications. Do not engage. Be very clear with him that psychology says not to give in when little kids decide negative attention is better than none. (That's probably not what it says, but the point is to let him know he's acting like a fucking child and you're not going to cater to that.)
I don’t believe they are intrusive thoughts, what makes you think that?
Have you left this too late? Not in the slightest, I'm pretty sure I read a news article a couple of years ago about 2 80year Olds getting together and spending the last 10 or so years of their lives together. There is never a too late when it comes to finding a partner.
My biological father used to walk around without a shirt on and in his underwear, either boxers or boxer briefs. I was constantly uncomfortable living in the house with him, after a while I started to voice my discomfort and asked my mom to please ask him to wear some clothes when he’s in the house, his response was a lot like yours, he didn’t care about making me uncomfortable at all. He only cared about himself. If you don’t care about making this young girl uncomfortable, then maybe you should tell your gf that it’s a deal breaker for you. That poor kid doesn’t have any say in where she lives right now, and a young teen isn’t going to be honest when confronted by a half hard man. For all you know, she’s the one asking her mom to talk to you about it. She might not feel safe living with you.
I love him, i do feel like i was taking for granted that night though. I don’t ever want to lose him if we can work through it. We don’t really have any issues outside of that incident, it just really is bothering me still
If he wants to have any chance at staying with you he should tell other managers he refuses to participate in buy-out, cause it's insulting to you. After that you should probably both leave this job.
Honey, bad things don't have to be big things.
He's treating you poorly. He will also treat your children the same way.
What sort of life do you want them to have? What sort of relationships? What sort of family?
SIL will always be your children's aunt, is that really what you want?
yeah i hate to be the breakup guy if their relationship is good otherwise, but this is not something anyone should be dealing with at 21.
as great as this guy may seem or be, you can find a great or better guy your age who is actually undergoing the same stages of life as you at the same time.
Well I would first say get ready to just take the bus and deal with the luggage. But it sounds like he's trying to take advantage of you for paying for a meal when clearly it jumps from a fast food place to a very expensive restaurant. I would respond back and say that given the current circumstances of your new internship, I'm sorry but you just can't afford that. Also, as much as you'd like to go, it's not near the station as ehat you suggested and would require you to double back and take longer to be dropped off and you need to catch your train. If he gets mad about you not wanting to pay, well have to call people like that out. State that you didn't need to, but were willing to pay for a meal for his gf when she wasn't giving you the ride, he was. And again, you started an internship that does not pay much and a 20 minute car ride doesn't wcactly equate to a $200 meal
Bro, she said she didn’t want to have sex one time, within your super short 6 month relationship and you act like the world is caving in on you? There could be an infinite number of reasons why, you should just ask her and stop overreacting.
I’m really hoping that he just wants to meet up to tell you that he is moving away somewhere very very far away and you will never see him again and he just wanted to let you know in person.
Get a lawyer and get custody of the kids. This is over.
You booked at one bed air bnb purposefully because you want to sleep with him.
Yeah, I talk to all my friends like that, actually I say stuff that I know would be taken wrong by her to my other male friends and female friends, so in my mind I was being less open to her than others. I tell my guy friends I love them and I'm always there for them all the time. Idk in my early twenties I was a raver and our whole group was pretty comfortable just saying we loved each other and being open about our appreciation, so maybe I have a biased view to that sort of thing.
I'm pretty expressive when it comes to how I feel for my friends, but I knew with her being hesitant about me I probably shouldn't be. The only reason I opened up was because she seemed like she genuinely viewed me as a friend this last week, and was finally acting pretty normal around me.
Your advice is solid though, I think I'm just gonna step away from that whole thing since she seems to have a specific view of me, and I'll let her reach out if she ever wants to be friends instead of trying to convey that friendship is all I want.
Your sister didn’t give him hate. That is a hate born from your actions. I am also an affair baby, parents didn’t stay together – fortunately.
You can blame your sister for this. Put all the blame on her. But it isn’t true. It’s on you.
You and your husband did a cruel thing. It was cruel, and now, you’ve gotta live with the consequences. For better or worse. Listen to your son, respect his choices, and give him space. Also tell him the truth. Not your side but the truth.
Depending on what state you are in, he can be charged with “revenge corn” because he posted it without your consent
no one toddler i have one kid my wife has no kids she married me knowing i had a kid
It's high school, and you're right it's not the way a relationship is supposed to work. Dump her and find a girl who isn't mean.
I feel the same. I think he’s taking advantage of me or something like that. A week ago he asked me what we would do if we broke up, and said that he wouldn’t have problems being roommates. I couldn’t believe he would say that
Could your mother have been assaulted by a family member and she is ashamed or scared to tell your father?
Op is a woman.
You are not boring you have matured and realized life isn't all fun and games. You also are probably finding as you get older you don't recover from a night of drinking like you did at 20-25.
You GF though is not just trying to relive her youth, she is a hardcore alcoholic. She needs help. That behavior is going to take years off of her life, cause all kinds of health issues and affect personal relationships (which it clearly is). You can try to help her with this but I will warn you. Do not put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to addictions. Sometimes people can't be helped or don't want to be helped. I have seen a lot of people stay in those situations and get sucked down a dark hole.
It’s clear that for whatever reason, she doesn’t like giving head. If you can’t live without it, then break up. If you can live without it, quit asking her for it. You don’t want to pressure her into something sexual that she doesn’t want to do.
Sigh.
You are so unbelievably wrong, it's actually pretty funny. Good luck the first time any guy decides to actually try in jiu jitsu vs you.
First, is this is not a pattern of abuse.
Second, what did you see on her phone? Why were you on her phone?
She is not an abuser based on what you’ve typed. However, the fact you said this “broke” you means that this is a hard boundary for you. So, yes imo I would break up, but you have to follow through and not use this as leverage to push or pressure her. She was sexually assaulted? That means she lost her voice, her power, her autonomy. That’s a powerful thing to lose, so waking up in a potentially similar situation can put someone in survival mode.
I would help her find support, not just therapy but a support group. I would also look for someone to check in with for yourself: friend, therapy, a hotline.
In a good relationship, that goes both ways. Boyfriend isn’t taking her feelings into consideration.
She sounds pretty selfish and cares more about getting her kitten punched on her schedule than your basic survival needs like sleep. Also I am sure there are plenty of guys out there who wouldn’t do her no matter what she wore.
Did he actually help his dad get the car in the end ?
I don’t think she is an appropriate friend for you. Friends shouldn’t say that they would be a better partner than your spouse.
That’s how I was introduced to women. That’s the only way I have been able to connect. I don’t want to reject her in person and make her feel bad I completely understand that I don’t. I have respected her boundaries and been honest the whole time and therapy isn’t for everyone. My last friend was an addict and she just used me I’m use to being everyone else’s tools and I’m trying to help gain perspective on how to approach it but this just wasn’t it. I don’t want just sex. I want more then that but I haven’t seen too many photos of her because my phone is fucked