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David Sahueso, 18 y.o.
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Live Live Sex Chat rooms David Sahueso
Date: October 9, 2022
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How old are you and who hurt you my dude?
Good advice. “Do you want to go out with me sometime” is way better than “I have loved you for the past two years in secret”
Don’t be a home wrecker. It sounds like you have more of a crush/ infatuation that’s almost obsessive compulsive Stay out of her marriage
Lol he'd be pissed at me too.
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You didn’t know your ID has your birthdate?
Holy shit read this out loud to yourself and the answers are right there for you. DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THIS GUY. You can love somebody and also realize it’s not healthy for you to be in a relationship with them. The couples counselor wants your money Im sorry to say. Time to stop rationalizing his behavior to paint a nice picture for everyone else and face the faces. You’re supporting a dead beat who doesn’t respect you. Cancel the engagement asap!!! If you need to, have your therapist help her. Tell him/her you’ve decided that getting married this summer is not in your best interest and you want help untangling this relationship.
She never mentioned him that’s what made me think its more then friendship
I wouldn't think you need to tell her. 17 & 20 isn't a significant age gap, and since you're not attracted to minors now that you're older, you're in the clear. But if you feel the need to tell her, then tell her.
If he feels disrespected because you don’t agree with his opinion, that in and of itself is concerning, and says something about him. It may make sense to explore some of those bigger issues in individual therapy- based on how you’re describing your husband, I’m not sure couples therapy would be a good idea.
She did not say you should die.
“Well why don’t you just go die then” is a dramatic immature retort to your dramatic immature statement that your stress about a test and tech issues “feels like a life or death situation.”
The fact you literally think this whole dramatic immature exchange = “the woman I love wants me dead” tells me you are too DRAMATIC and too IMMATURE for marriage. Please don’t propose until you get a grip.
Usually I would say starting a relationship on a lie is the end of a relationship but not necessarily in this case, here are my 2 cents.
Regarding the body count lie, I think it was unnecessary to lie about this, do you want to be with someone that judges you based on that? However I don't think its deal breaking bad, since he has no right to demand an answer to this, as long as you are not hiding a STD or something stupid like that. ( I know many people disagree here, apparently is very important women don't have many partners these days) First I'm sorry you had to go through this and glad to hear you are resolving it with a professional, but choosing not to tell him about being raped is 100% up to you. regarding the apartment, just rip the band-aid off. No need to be ashamed, these are tough times and reasonable people see that.
I find arguments about 2 different things excessive and draining.
1) address her concerns: apologize for not calling and say you thought she was busy and you had heavy news that day. Apologize for assuming you both had agreed to your coming the following weekend and reiterate that timing is tough and x, y, z dates work better for your schedule for a, b, c reasons. Hear her talk after, then ask what communication style would she like better next time. This should take 5 minutes since it’s literally just a miscommunication error.
THEN, because this is a much bigger discussion, say you have an issue from the conversation that you want to discuss. And bring up how she made you feel by not really caring about your mom’s diagnosis and instead focused on herself. Imo, the conversation about other shit should have ended the minute you brought that up.
Hear what she has to say. If she gets defensive, tell her that you expected more empathy since you’re feeling x, y, z feelings about it.
There is the concept of averages. In which the vast majority of a population will fall into a subset of categories based upon similar factors such as upbringing, culture, religion, social environment and so on. That’s what modern advertising is about. Why do stores place toys right near the entrance because the stores management calculated rather precisely exactly where parents and kids will enter the store and how these toys play with little boys and girls. I should know when I take my daughter to Costco and Walmart the placement of the toys is near the entrance or exit so either as you are leaving or entering.
The vast majority of people in this society has been conditioned by media and culture to value certain things. Like their personal happiness before that of their kids. To value their personal happiness of that moment to the circumstances in their relationship. The purpose of marriage is to create a structure for raising well adjusted children.
He purposely canceled your call, it doesn't sound like he's going to call you back. Leave him a message telling him. If his fiance happens to see it, oh well. You tried to tell him privately.
She lives with her parents. How much of the debt has she paid off by now and what % of her income is that?
What is her plan to pay it off? You mention she has one but what is it? Ask her in detail, a breakdown of every year, not a vague 'I need a graduate degree'.
30k more in debt doesn't bother me if it increases her income potential. Opportunity cost is a bigger problem so are her current financial habits – see the first question.
Are her parents wealthy, by any chance?
Jeez y'all are ruthless he's really not as bad as you're making him seem. But I'm sorry I should have explained a little better. He really is a good guy and does care about me, but money has been a huge source of stress for him ever since we've been together, and he's almost done paying off his debts so within the next year he should be a little less stressed all the time and be able to start saving money. I don't want to leave him just because he's going through a tough time because now is when he needs my support more than ever. And once he gets through this he could become the most amazing thoughtful and supportive boyfriend in the world, so I just want to give him a chance.
And he works nights by himself and has trouble sleeping so all of his time is spent either trying to sleep or at work, and he lives alone so he has no time for his friends and he's by himself basically 24/7 unless I'm home or he sees his family/friends on a day off. And the game is something that helps him escape from stress and makes him happy, and give him something new to do on his days off, and of course I want that for him. So I really try to be understanding of what he's going through and not demand so much of his time or money because our situations are more complicated than a typical relationship.
So when I come home to visit I stay with my family and can only see him for a couple hours after 6/7pm before he leaves for work and ofc I'm not going to make him go out and do something bc he's tired. And on his days off he sleeps in later then I come over to spend the night and by that time it's dark and everything is closed so there's no chance of going out. So 90% of our time spent together is just watching movies or playing games at his place. And he knows I wish we could go out more.
That's why he thought it was such as nice gift to go out on a date with me because he had to wake up early and sacrifice his sleep and money to do something he knows I've been wanting to do. And he does feel bad about not contributing as much in the relationship and not going out with me, so maybe this really was his honest attempt at trying to put in more effort.
I'm not trying to say that what he did was justified (or maybe it is, that's why I'm asking on here lol) but I'm trying to be more fair and tell things from his perspective so there's less bias.
Maybe this background info will change y'all's responses idk but I would appreciate any new insight.
So with all this in mind, I'm not sure whether or how to talk to him about this without him feeling attacked but also without letting him walk all over me.
You are hardly the first person ever who was a fool for love. It happens. A LOT. Sometimes, people we think are good and nice are actually just…shitty. she is 10 years younger than you and could probably feel your attraction to her from a mile away. She likely intentionally enhanced it as time went by, and she got to know you better. Her “needing” you during her depression was all a part of teaching you to feel the need to help her.
Please understand that this is a her being shitty thing, not a you being unworthy thing. You are plenty worthy. You just need to be a little more cautious and stop dating people 10 years your junior. At 25, it's just not realistic to think she was all that interested in a 35 year old man. She met you and made a plan. She worked the plan and then left with the cash. That money is gone, and so is she. Be glad it was only $15K.
People don't wanna talk about how loving someone is literally the bare minimum required for a healthy relationship to exist
Hot nope. My bf would NEVER, and I can’t think of a single male friend that would participate in something like that. Hope you break up but seems like you don’t quite get it, in your comments. Hopefully he didn’t leak your nudes to his friends, but I’d assume he did.
You have set a reasonable boundary and I would recommend you hold to it.
You ask if Instagram flirting is semi-normal. Is it two-way flirting or is he just giving validation to thirst traps? The former is disrespectful to you. The latter is both disrespectful and also fairly lame on his part. In my (M48) opinion, this behavior is common, but shouldn't be normalized.
Depends on whether or not you guys change them out at the same rate. If he uses his longer than you, or is using it more before washing it, then his could smell and not yours. Worth a test.
Oh wow. I do. Trust me. I get the kids up every morning and do the school and nursery runs every day because she's already left for work by the time they wake up and I work from home. I've just put my 6 year old to bed whilst she's out playing netball at her club and I cooked dinner for them both. Which isn't unusual. Please don't make blind assumptions. I have the kids to myself a lot, including weekends because she works shifts then too. Next week she's away on a training course all week and I've got them to myself – again, not unusual. I pull my weight equally and always have done. I think that was a very ignorant thing to say.
If it’s a boundary, move on. If it’s not, stay.
Not really much else to consider
She said these things to you because she wanted to get close to him again. And now that he is, she is suggesting to re-open your relationship. Girlfriend! You are not naive. Trust your gut.
Yeah literally like 2 days ago i was fasting and said i didn’t want to have sex and we still ended up having sex. afterwards i finally said to him that i didn’t want to and i feel raped and then he turned around and said to me “is there not days that you wanna have sex?” so i said yes bc there is (not every day like him) and then he said “i do not make you feel like shit on the days you want sex” but i don’t understand because if he ever told me he didn’t want to have sex i’d back off straight away… he just doesn’t.
Because I am a grown woman. Why would they cuss me out?
Seems like you two have different understanding on “have fun”. She already cheated emotionally, so it is up to you if you want to get burned again.
Did; doesn’t answer my question, and the other major reply thread didn’t agree with you. And you’ve been told multiple times to ask and listen. Not much more we can tell ya, kiddo.
Wait what do you mean?
Intimacy isn’t meant to be transactional. This isn’t love – it’s some weird, immature, unhealthy game you’re both playing.
No. You're not getting married. You're not even gonna stay together. Right?
Right!?
Even if you heal tomorrow, you know that cheating is completely excusable and on the table for her.
Dating isn't a past-time. Unless you think it is, then sure, ignore your intuition and stay with this psycho.
Unless you want a partner whos going to cheat when you get sick, lose a pet, or lose a family member or basically and life changing event, you probably need to just follow what your gut is telling you and bounce.
Biggest lessons to learn from adult dating is that you shouldn't waste your time on someone you aren't compatible with- whether you have a good time together or not, and that you can like or even love someone you need to walk away from.
She has clearly said that sex is more important than your relationship. To your face, and unflinchingly.
It is better to be single than to be with someone who makes you feel alone. You will learn these lessons now, or she will teach it to you until you do. Either way, it will stick sooner or later.
Thank you 🙂 you’re so kind with your words. I really appreciate it. This brought me a bit of joy. Thanks for letting me rant live! :’)
That’s a dealbreaker.
Yes I do, I'm sorry to bother you
Yes, well, you know where this is going, right?
A 48 year old person should not be this insecure or this controlling. What she is doing is isolating you from your friends etc.
What you are describing sounds awful. You need to take a good look at yourself and your relationship. You haven't mentioned a single thing that is positive about this relationship or your partner, all these things are major red flags.
I would say that she needs to move out – regardless of wether or not you guys stay together. You need your space, you need your car, she needs her own place and car. Why is she selling her house – and why isn't she getting her own place? Why would a 48 year old person who has lived in a house want to move into a single bedroom apartment with her partner of a few months. And I mean that this is a naked question regardless of the amount of love you guys feel for each other, I wouldn't want to move in with my partner so soon and to such cramped living conditions.
Thanks so much ! Great comment ! Genuinely I think it failed the first time because he and I just never communicated with each other about what we wanted from it so I walked away despite I did genuinely see something could happen there.
I don’t bombard him with messages to wake up to genuinely no Ive resorted to writing letters he doesn’t know about them except for one where he told me he feels the exact same way for me. ( I plan to give him these letters in some future with him )
I can be overbearing some times, And I think you’re right I should make a little more time for myself in what I need to do for myself I like seeing when he goes to his band practice and when he visits his mom.
Again I really appreciate the comment. Thank you honestly, Cheers to your marriage.
It sounds like the marriage isn’t going anywhere. He’s not committed as a partner. He’s thinking more selfishly about him and his needs. The two of you were young and have grown apart. Pack and go to your moms and go talk to an attorney. He’s not going to change or grow up. You need better. You deserve better.
i hope your wife never experiences a good day again. this is so gross. i dont envy your position.
Your BF is a straight up loser in addition to being an asshole. Please raise your standards, OP.
If he loves you, he wouldn't steal your money. If you are able to get it back get it back and kick him to the curb. That is straight up theft and abuse.