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Date: October 5, 2022
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Follow your gut. His reactions are not how a normal caring boyfriend/person would react. You deserve better than “smh”. You’re young, get yourself someone who would have shown up with a hug, cuddles and dinner.
One thing I did figure out. My mom must have gotten her HPV infection from cheating. She got cervical cancer when she was 45, so that's 15 years after she cheated which is about right.
Unfortunately, my ex boyfriend cheated on when I was 20-21 and he gave me HPV as well. I guess I am doomed to get cancer in a few years as well.
You've had sex, hit that person's cervix with your dick, and they said it didn't hurt?
This is a relationship you shouldn’t be in, he clearly lacks respect for you.
I just want to point out though because so many of the comments believe the opposite… there’s nothing wrong with dating someone a decade older than you. You’re both adults and are entitled to make your own decisions. If you’re going to date someone older though, make sure it’s someone who has their shit together and are actually mature.
That's amazing. You really put all my thoughts together cohesively, thank you
Dude sounds like a jerk.
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It could have been dormant in your body or hers and just came out
Given that his mom thinks it’s acceptable to try guilt her kid into not having a relationship with his father and sibling, I’m going to question what kind of wife she was inside her marriage.
?
Sounds like you are the ATM.
You are abusing your children putting them through this and refusing to be a grown up.
I still am crazy about her. That's the thing. I want to just leave the situation alone and walk away but a big part of me wants to take a chance at working out the differences.
Every comment you make is about you. You really need to do some introspection.
i agree i feel like nothing i say helps. i agree with your approach, he needs to apologize and if he doesn’t then i need to dump his ass but i still love him and it’s upsetting me that the only texts i’m getting right now are
“are we talking or what” “i’m quite upset at you honestly.”
he’s upset at ME. when i didn’t do anything at all! it’s really heartbreaking for me because i know he’s just spending this time ruminating about how everything is my fault and i am in the wrong and he’s perfect and didn’t do anything bad or is at fault. and i don’t think i’m ever going to get an apology 🙁
it’s just sad because i thought he’d have some respect for me after 3 years but it doesn’t even seem like any of that mattered
If he's just a fwb, perhaps you should find someone else.
If she was a good person she wouldn’t have done what she has
It’s absurd. You already have a mutually agreed on plan. No kids.
She’s insisting on her name and the solution is for him to change his name
Well sounds to me like you're more on the stoic side with your past and your gf is the melancholic type who relives bad memories when they come up! Absolutely understandable for you to question her reaction, but based on the statement that she doesn't even know where this came from I don't think you really have to worry
Threatening you into doing what she wants and making her number one at others expense isn't a relationship. You can't do better with Tiffany or Kelly if you allow Amanda to act this way.
it’s not your job to handle her emotions, also it’s fucked up she be snooping
I think it was a mistake to tell him that it happened during the time it could have been his. Cuz there’s no way to tell, and it was never his choice anyway. But your fertility Drs would want to know your history; you could have admitted to an abortion while you were married.
I've always believed in open phone policies in marriage, at least to an extent (I feel like sharing search histories and stuff like that is unnecessary). Gender is irrelevant. Neither OP nor his wife should be snatching their phone away from each other.
In this instance in particular, OP actually has stuff he's hiding in his phone. Stuff he'd rather lose his marriage over than let her see. That's a big difference that's likely causing this sub to swing the other way for this situation.
My second child was the result of an accidental pregnancy with someone I had not been seeing long. Unfortunately he ended the relationship before I found out I was pregnant. The difference was that he was/is friends with my sister’s husband, so I had known him for 15 years. I decided to keep the baby and told him that he could be as involved as he liked… or not. His choice. He chose to be involved but we didn’t get back together. In fact he met his now wife not long after that.
In all honesty, the only reason I kept the pregnancy was because I had known him for many years prior so he was a family friend. If I had only known him 3 months I probably would have aborted without a second thought.
Trust yes – so what have you done to erode the trust he should have in you?
Or has he always been this bad, in which case the question is why have you not left already?
Ok, I only skimmed because you were rambling and giving very few specifics.
You need to stop wasting this gals time and end it now. You don't want to be with her, and you honestly don't need a reason.
However stringing her along like this is not cool.
No matter what you tell her, she is going to be crushed. But keeping her tied up for another 5 years and then dumping her will be even more crushing.