You gave the opportunity for marriage but he asked you for time, the relationship is going deeper than you know and it still continues
you should initiate the divorce
If the man is married, notify his family
A marriage where you have to control your wife is not good for your sanity.
your dream marriage will not happen again, you will try to live! with a woman who loves someone else and she will try to make contact with that other man,
You're certainly not obligated to get her anything, but you're right, it's not her fault. I think it would be a nice gesture for her, and one she'll remember for the rest of her life regardless of if your son stays with her mom.
And here I am paying for infertility treatment… yet people this blind are repopulating. The world is a cruel cruel place.
Your mom is correct. You need to get snipped and take your head out of your rear (or a multitude of vaginas I guess, more literally). There is NO way you’re in every life of every child you donated sperm to. Throwing money at children while their moms raise them day to day is unfair. Having children when you know you’re sick is unfair. This is all fuelled by ego and narcissism. The therapy comment is proof.
You’re the smartest man in the world, spreading his seed so how could anyone else know better than you. /s
You make it sound as if the friend is property of her husband, tf? Get your ego in check, you don't need to be the center of attention everyday all day.
Your ick sounds like it may be from him seeing more into you than you seem to feel for him. It’s up to you if that’s a dealbreaker or not but idk it’s not like he’s proposing already
JESUS CHRIST DUDE FUCKING LEAVE. You’re not more of a man for taking abuse. You’re not stronger because you can “handle” her. I don’t give a flying fuck how dainty and kind she’s being WHILE SHES NOT FUCKING UP YOUR SHIT WITH A KNIFE TO YOUR THROAT.
Who in your life told you that your manliness is attached to how big and tough you appear because that person needs to burn in hell along with your wife. Fucking get out!!! She not “testing” you, she’s an abusive violent cunt and you are not safe.
This woman will kill you. That much I can say with certainty.
This lmao. OP wasn't in moral turmoil about her doing this shit while they were together but now they're broken up he's suddenly a dedicated road safety advocate ??
Sadly getting therapy is a little pushed back as I am using most of my money rn for hormones (I am FTM transgender) and I want to move out of my parents house soon. I have thought about just putting a pause and getting therapy anyway but it’s conflicting cause I need my hormones. So it’s a back and forth decision at the moment. I have took some time and came to the conclusion I am gonna give them a day or 2 to respond to the text and if they don’t then I have a message typed out in my notes simply asking them if this is what they want and for them to put effort into communicating better when they need space. I decided I would send that to them on discord so I know for a fact they get it and can’t really ignore me. They posted in a sever today they were upset they couldn’t get someone to cover for them at work and showed text messages between them and their coworker so I know they see I messaged them but they might just be stressed out from having to work while sick that they just don’t wanna respond at the moment. The message still says ‘delivered’ so I know they haven’t even looked at it. Might be giving them more credit than I should but I wanna give them time before I bombard them with another message. But I’m definitely gonna have a talk with them about how they truly feel and if this is what they want depending on how they respond to the first message or if they continue to ignore me
But why? I want her to be happy and not lie? She may not want to date her but she's friends with her as they both do same course and both in same lectures?
You don't have to do anything to “mend” this. You're good. It's their responsibility to come around to you. You're an adult in your own home. if they don't come around, that's on them.
To me (44F) going out to a club is like going to a Halloween party and makeup is like wearing a costume. The makeup and clothing you wear to a club isn’t what one would wear going to a quiet dinner.
Anyway…personally, I don’t wear makeup most days. I work from home, in my pajamas. When I leave the house im usually walking the dogs or going to my farm to see the horses.
A few months ago, I started getting in the habit of actually showering, doing my hair, putting on some basic makeup on Saturday’s when I run errands. Like to the grocery.
My partner asked me at one point, “why are you getting dolled up to go to the store? Who are you trying to impress?” And I said “myself. I’m doing it for myself.”
Maybe she wants to get dolled up to feel good about herself amongst the sea of other women who are all dolled up. Maybe her friends expect it. Who knows. Ask her.
Now that she has a proper diagnosis hopefully some of the meds will help. It will also depend on what type she has as to how fast it progresses. I have a couple of friends with MS and the experience really varies. Do everything you can to get her the best medical care you can afford and look into what supports are available in your community. My partner was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago and I know how naked it is to deal with an unpredictable debilitating illness. Just to the best you can and don’t be afraid to ask for and accept help.
This really isn't your problem to solve, especially solving it alone. Your partner should be helping here and telling you what is or is not OK. I would say step back and just follow your partners lead – only go for a walk if she initiates it and goes as well, only play when she does.
You are both young. At that age it’s pretty common to want to play the field a bit and just enjoy yourself. Don’t tie yourself down to a relationship. Just enjoy yourselves.
Your boyfriend is searching the internet for women who he sees as sexual objects. He objectifies women. Honestly, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. If you look deeper into this you might see that he dehumanizes women on a general basis. It's misogynistic and patriarchal tbh. I would dump him…
No, I am no obsessing over the wrong thing. I just know if we do marry, my Dad won't be the one objecting. By the time we marry we would have been together eight years. If she hasn't left me by then and all my undergraduate and graduate school is done (because he views her as a distraction from my education), then what would be the point in objecting then?
People cheating has NOTHING to do with the person they were committed to. It has nothing to do with your worth. A person who doesn't cheat wouldn't cheat on a stone either. She's a peace of shit. Just look at all the celebrities who got cheated on. They have money, the looks, a lot of them are putting a lot for their family and yet someone will throw away their marriage and family for an Instagram influencer… continue therapy and i hope you can heal from this
I'm not a pro but this isn't my first time. I've never heard such questions from someone I just me. I'm seriously interested why everyone is saying this?
> If you're intimate with someone, why is them asking you about STIs not ok with you?
Because I haven't slept with anyone in a while so I haven't bothered to get tested. But that's personal so I'd rather just say I don't have STIs (which to me seems more to the point anyway).
> why you're not comfortable answering.
To me questions like “are you vulnerable with me” are too open ended and unclear, as being vulnerable with someone has lots of different meanings.
Thanks for this! I never meant to hurt him. I know what I did was wrong and I am beating myself up about it everyday. I will surely learn from this and take your advice! Thanks again! Much ?
This “Olivia” could have just ghosted him so he is just trying to make his point and I get it. Consider this a lesson learned and move forward. Maybe things will work out in the future, maybe not. I wouldn’t wait around though, as long as you learned from this don’t beat yourself up over it.
It doesn’t make you sound like an asshole, it sounds like you really do care about your girlfriend, and you feel conflicted by totally healthy, normal 19 year old feelings. I get it. I dated my now-husband at 17, and he dumped me when he went to college. We stayed friends and reconnected romantically at 30, and now we’re married and going to have a baby in November 🙂
I know my story’s unusual, but the point is, if it’s meant to be you’ll find a way to be together and you won’t regret choosing to fully live! your lives and experience your teens and twenties to the fullest. Even though a breakup will hurt like hell and leave you wondering what could have been.
Of course if I were her I’d hate me for giving this advice to you now! So take it all with a grain of salt, and do what makes you happy.
nah girl don’t continue this marriage any further. you told hin multiple times to stop talking to her, and he says that he will, but yet he still continues talking to her. he doesn’t respect your concerns. 10/10 they did have sex. let home-wrecker Laura have him and divorce his ass, don’t allow yourself to continue going insane over this. you deserve so much better OP.
Kids are healthy and happy and well taken care of. They’re not aware of what happens thankfully. I only mentioned them cause I thought it may be important. Sam doesn’t do this stuff in front of them. Only behind closed doors.
She's being immature. Hanging out 3x a week and being on the phone that much a day is more than enough for a very new relationship. You guys literally just made it official only 2 days ago. She's being too much too soon. If she gets pissy about you wanting to reasonably maintain some boundaries for your own self and private life, then she's just not the right one for you.
You gave the opportunity for marriage but he asked you for time, the relationship is going deeper than you know and it still continues
you should initiate the divorce
If the man is married, notify his family
A marriage where you have to control your wife is not good for your sanity.
your dream marriage will not happen again, you will try to live! with a woman who loves someone else and she will try to make contact with that other man,
this game never ends
you should go away now
If you don’t want to have sex before marriage, then don’t.
Listen to your parents. If it doesn’t work out you can hold this up as to why you never have to listen to them again.
You're certainly not obligated to get her anything, but you're right, it's not her fault. I think it would be a nice gesture for her, and one she'll remember for the rest of her life regardless of if your son stays with her mom.
There dating
And here I am paying for infertility treatment… yet people this blind are repopulating. The world is a cruel cruel place.
Your mom is correct. You need to get snipped and take your head out of your rear (or a multitude of vaginas I guess, more literally). There is NO way you’re in every life of every child you donated sperm to. Throwing money at children while their moms raise them day to day is unfair. Having children when you know you’re sick is unfair. This is all fuelled by ego and narcissism. The therapy comment is proof.
You’re the smartest man in the world, spreading his seed so how could anyone else know better than you. /s
You make it sound as if the friend is property of her husband, tf? Get your ego in check, you don't need to be the center of attention everyday all day.
That's still not an excuse for not giving a heads up.
I get your intentions but thanks to no communication you've created an awful situation between them.
And don't come up with “I wouldn't mind if it happened to me”. Because it didn't happen to you, and people react differently.
Communicate.
He’s taking things fast. I wouldn’t say ick rather cringe. I’d keep my distance
It sounds sweet to me
Your ick sounds like it may be from him seeing more into you than you seem to feel for him. It’s up to you if that’s a dealbreaker or not but idk it’s not like he’s proposing already
Replace traditional woth misogynic
JESUS CHRIST DUDE FUCKING LEAVE. You’re not more of a man for taking abuse. You’re not stronger because you can “handle” her. I don’t give a flying fuck how dainty and kind she’s being WHILE SHES NOT FUCKING UP YOUR SHIT WITH A KNIFE TO YOUR THROAT.
Who in your life told you that your manliness is attached to how big and tough you appear because that person needs to burn in hell along with your wife. Fucking get out!!! She not “testing” you, she’s an abusive violent cunt and you are not safe.
This woman will kill you. That much I can say with certainty.
You must be lonely and also desperate for even considering this shit.
This lmao. OP wasn't in moral turmoil about her doing this shit while they were together but now they're broken up he's suddenly a dedicated road safety advocate ??
How can you be shocked when you aren't actually using any methods to prevent pregnancy?
Sadly getting therapy is a little pushed back as I am using most of my money rn for hormones (I am FTM transgender) and I want to move out of my parents house soon. I have thought about just putting a pause and getting therapy anyway but it’s conflicting cause I need my hormones. So it’s a back and forth decision at the moment. I have took some time and came to the conclusion I am gonna give them a day or 2 to respond to the text and if they don’t then I have a message typed out in my notes simply asking them if this is what they want and for them to put effort into communicating better when they need space. I decided I would send that to them on discord so I know for a fact they get it and can’t really ignore me. They posted in a sever today they were upset they couldn’t get someone to cover for them at work and showed text messages between them and their coworker so I know they see I messaged them but they might just be stressed out from having to work while sick that they just don’t wanna respond at the moment. The message still says ‘delivered’ so I know they haven’t even looked at it. Might be giving them more credit than I should but I wanna give them time before I bombard them with another message. But I’m definitely gonna have a talk with them about how they truly feel and if this is what they want depending on how they respond to the first message or if they continue to ignore me
But why? I want her to be happy and not lie? She may not want to date her but she's friends with her as they both do same course and both in same lectures?
You don't have to do anything to “mend” this. You're good. It's their responsibility to come around to you. You're an adult in your own home. if they don't come around, that's on them.
You’d have to ask her why she does that.
To me (44F) going out to a club is like going to a Halloween party and makeup is like wearing a costume. The makeup and clothing you wear to a club isn’t what one would wear going to a quiet dinner.
Anyway…personally, I don’t wear makeup most days. I work from home, in my pajamas. When I leave the house im usually walking the dogs or going to my farm to see the horses.
A few months ago, I started getting in the habit of actually showering, doing my hair, putting on some basic makeup on Saturday’s when I run errands. Like to the grocery.
My partner asked me at one point, “why are you getting dolled up to go to the store? Who are you trying to impress?” And I said “myself. I’m doing it for myself.”
Maybe she wants to get dolled up to feel good about herself amongst the sea of other women who are all dolled up. Maybe her friends expect it. Who knows. Ask her.
Now that she has a proper diagnosis hopefully some of the meds will help. It will also depend on what type she has as to how fast it progresses. I have a couple of friends with MS and the experience really varies. Do everything you can to get her the best medical care you can afford and look into what supports are available in your community. My partner was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago and I know how naked it is to deal with an unpredictable debilitating illness. Just to the best you can and don’t be afraid to ask for and accept help.
This really isn't your problem to solve, especially solving it alone. Your partner should be helping here and telling you what is or is not OK. I would say step back and just follow your partners lead – only go for a walk if she initiates it and goes as well, only play when she does.
You are both young. At that age it’s pretty common to want to play the field a bit and just enjoy yourself. Don’t tie yourself down to a relationship. Just enjoy yourselves.
I would really be careful with this as he's in law enforcement and most cops are huge assholes.
Will he make your life living hell after you make it public?
Cool story
Your boyfriend is searching the internet for women who he sees as sexual objects. He objectifies women. Honestly, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. If you look deeper into this you might see that he dehumanizes women on a general basis. It's misogynistic and patriarchal tbh. I would dump him…
But in relationships especially there often is no right or wrong. That's what you need to understand.
He's dating someone 11 years younger because nobody his own age would put up with his childishness. And you shouldn't either.
No, I am no obsessing over the wrong thing. I just know if we do marry, my Dad won't be the one objecting. By the time we marry we would have been together eight years. If she hasn't left me by then and all my undergraduate and graduate school is done (because he views her as a distraction from my education), then what would be the point in objecting then?
I'm going to guess that she doesn't actually care what he likes.
Fuck off troll. Nobody’s this stupid.
I know that now. I didn't when I wrote the comment. OP is a lying weasel
I don't get it, you're done because she snapped/had small talk with a coworker?
People cheating has NOTHING to do with the person they were committed to. It has nothing to do with your worth. A person who doesn't cheat wouldn't cheat on a stone either. She's a peace of shit. Just look at all the celebrities who got cheated on. They have money, the looks, a lot of them are putting a lot for their family and yet someone will throw away their marriage and family for an Instagram influencer… continue therapy and i hope you can heal from this
I'm not a pro but this isn't my first time. I've never heard such questions from someone I just me. I'm seriously interested why everyone is saying this?
> If you're intimate with someone, why is them asking you about STIs not ok with you?
Because I haven't slept with anyone in a while so I haven't bothered to get tested. But that's personal so I'd rather just say I don't have STIs (which to me seems more to the point anyway).
> why you're not comfortable answering.
To me questions like “are you vulnerable with me” are too open ended and unclear, as being vulnerable with someone has lots of different meanings.
Thanks for this! I never meant to hurt him. I know what I did was wrong and I am beating myself up about it everyday. I will surely learn from this and take your advice! Thanks again! Much ?
This “Olivia” could have just ghosted him so he is just trying to make his point and I get it. Consider this a lesson learned and move forward. Maybe things will work out in the future, maybe not. I wouldn’t wait around though, as long as you learned from this don’t beat yourself up over it.
It doesn’t make you sound like an asshole, it sounds like you really do care about your girlfriend, and you feel conflicted by totally healthy, normal 19 year old feelings. I get it. I dated my now-husband at 17, and he dumped me when he went to college. We stayed friends and reconnected romantically at 30, and now we’re married and going to have a baby in November 🙂
I know my story’s unusual, but the point is, if it’s meant to be you’ll find a way to be together and you won’t regret choosing to fully live! your lives and experience your teens and twenties to the fullest. Even though a breakup will hurt like hell and leave you wondering what could have been.
Of course if I were her I’d hate me for giving this advice to you now! So take it all with a grain of salt, and do what makes you happy.
What are your thoughts on telling the cheating partners wife ?
Info: Is your wife pregnant as well? Is your SIL having twins?
nah girl don’t continue this marriage any further. you told hin multiple times to stop talking to her, and he says that he will, but yet he still continues talking to her. he doesn’t respect your concerns. 10/10 they did have sex. let home-wrecker Laura have him and divorce his ass, don’t allow yourself to continue going insane over this. you deserve so much better OP.
give you the thumbs up
Whats that mean?
Oh my lorddddd this is awful. A new superiority complex couple is brewin’
Kids are healthy and happy and well taken care of. They’re not aware of what happens thankfully. I only mentioned them cause I thought it may be important. Sam doesn’t do this stuff in front of them. Only behind closed doors.
She's being immature. Hanging out 3x a week and being on the phone that much a day is more than enough for a very new relationship. You guys literally just made it official only 2 days ago. She's being too much too soon. If she gets pissy about you wanting to reasonably maintain some boundaries for your own self and private life, then she's just not the right one for you.