0 views
SQUIRT+FUCKPUSSY 🙂 my ass is thirsty Mmm @anal , ♥ [209 tokens remaining]
Date: October 23, 2022
The ad code is not a valid HTML code.
Fix the ad code in the Theme options.
Fix the ad code in the Theme options.
I have this. I get into things and I frown and look.. very unhappy. The Botox has helped hahah
After 2 months of dating you bought him $600 of gifts ant he got you $20. Ok…. Then for you birthday, nothing, yet you're still buying him everything and anything? And wait, you're happy with a bunch of flowers over the year?! Girl, he's a grown ass man who makes 100% more what you make but you're trying to buy his love. He's putting less than shit effort into this relationship. What's the point? What are your actually getting out of it? Nothing.
If she’s saying she wants to work it out then she needs to put work in to get there, which for you is communicating, and if she’s not willing to do that then you have your answer. Have you suggested therapy? Maybe that would be a safer space for her to open up. The double standards are unfair and worth noting, if she can’t see that it’s a one way street for what you’re allowed to do vs what she’s allowed to do you’re not going to get much traction and it goes back to the inequality that’s seems to be the theme of the whole relationship. It’s hot but you can’t make someone be someone they’re not even no matter how hot you try.
She can't be friends because she possibly has feelings for this guy.
I’d you don’t know her personally it could also be a predator on the other side of that phone sending you that to get you to THINK you’re talking to someone around your age. They may be acting like that little girl but could be an older man into boys hoping you’d send one back and fall for it. Scary world out here. Just to cover your butt I would tell my parents. Better to let them know than to have them find out by accessing the account and ask you why you hid it. You also don’t know if this girl might get her phone taken away and her parents find it being sent to you. Next thing you know, both your parents and hers are involved. Stay safe.
I’m glad to see all the good people on here giving you good advice.
Seems like shes not completely happy then ? Why is she even still thinking about you…. Means there must be feelings from her side deep down ?
Social media influencers are as real as reality tv stars. She needs therapy if she believes all that is real. Do you know how many influencers photoshop the picture they post. Go to YouTube and look up Charlotte Dobre. She has great videos about influencers lying and photoshopping their photos
Honestly I would shower at my BILs house, but it would be for a some reason like I slipped in mud or something. I've showered at my MILs plenty of times. If it's for a normal reason though I would think OP would include that in the post or something.
You know that being a good dad is more than just sending money and showing up for events, right? It's all day, every day. Doctor's appointments, helping with homework, cooking, cleaning, bedtime stories. There's no way you're doing that for all of these kids. Your mom is right. This must be some kind of “seed-spreading” fetish, because condoms are not that difficult to figure out. So, you're intentionally making kids that you're not really intending to raise. Gross.
It’s been over 2 weeks I didn’t get a response the party’s already past
I was stuck in an almost sexless long term relationship with my ex. When he suggested opening the relationship I was torn.
Like ; “ok, you couldn't care less about me when it comes to sex, but suddenly feel like banging other women?”
We agreed on a swinging arrangement with a befriended couple.
Turns out, that both – my ex as well as the ex of the other guy, were already fucking around silently all the time, with amount x of people.
I don't want to accuse her of cheating, but if this idea came out of nowhere, she probably already met up with someone else – or has a nice oppurtunity already waiting in the background.
Since you're married & kids involved I'd try to solve it, marruage counseling & everything. If she doesn't see the need for it, she's not as invested as you imho.
(And yes, said guy & me are thriving as a monogamous, happy couple now after some healing when shit came out)
Your bf reminds me of my narcissist ex husband. He had no empathy at all.
I’m so sorry you were SA. Wishing you healing, joy, and happiness in the new year.
thank you so much, that's genuinely great advice, I'll do that if we even manage to last that long ???
People are giving you advice and you’re not taking it. Did you come here because you just want people to tell you what you wanna hear?
OK if work a little bit harder, if you can spread your self a little bit thinner, and do a little bit more for him than maybe you’ll be good enough for him to change. But only maybe.
u/Strong_Meringue_5787, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
My SSRI meds disabled ALL my emotions. Never again.
You’re doing a shit job at devils advocate arguing. The issue isn’t with her, it has nothing to do with her, thus arguing that it’s just a job does nothing. That’s not the other side. The other side is the fiancé.
My argument is that the “rent” she pays helps him pay his mortgage, so she would be contributing to the house, even if it's less than his.
u/FragmentedSouls, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Ah sorry, it was about making sure I was not a gold digger. That was kinda insulting, because I’m paying for my food and stuff with my own money. They do some financing stuff, I don’t get it and I don’t think that they are very good at their job tbh
So I agree that effort and attention matter. The right man for you will put effort into texting, planning dates, cooking for you, giving your gifts, etc…
That does not mean that the wrong man for you will not do those things too. There are wrong men who will put in little to no effort and there are wrong men who will do all the right things… until they don't.
Lose his number and keep your standards up.
Its baffling that you have already experienced porn addiction and can still stand for porn.
What we are talking about here is porn use that ignores your partners boundary, not consensual porn. No one couldnt care less if people are okay with porn in their relationships, but if someone isnt okay with it and it causes them hurt like ops partner has, it is not okay
Yeah, I've had time to really think about myself and there's just so much going into how I feel and what I need to work on. I think most of it deals with his parents' acceptance (they don't, his mom is constantly trying to set him up with the children of wealthy people she knows bc they come from a wealthy family) of me. His views on life are very similar to his parents and sometimes it's hot recognizing that they are different people in some aspects and that I am enough.
I don't deal with this confidence issue with others but only with him which is kind of weird.
I told him I wanted to ship it down to us but he told me not to and that the insurance cost of the coat is too expensive for me to pay so he says we'll get it some other time. Luckily I was able to call my parents and one of them is visiting soon and will be dropping it off. I recently lost a necklace he bought me as I didn't put it on correctly and it fell off. Misplacing anything stresses me out but the fact that they came from him places it on another level.
i find it interesting that here all you are talking about is how you feel about the situation
but what of the future child? they may think it is “ick or gross” and not funny at all
not to mention any of the other things they will certainly feel/think about/have to deal with
Why are y’all acting like I’m getting onto him for not wanting a kid when I’m literally encouraging him to stop considering other people’s feelings about it? Y’all rly just wanna argue over anything ?
I don't feel that way. Ultimatums are really just giving a person a head's up of what your action will be given their action. I'd rather have that warning than be surprised. OP's fiancée might not realize OP is ready to leave over this.
She's not?
Hey! We're not all dicks lol
I guess just take the kids and walk away. Hopefully she'll get the message.
Please look up coercion. When someone manipulates you and wears you down until you are too tired to say no anymore, that is not consent.
This sounds more like indoctrination than racism. Of she only lived there for 5 years, that implies she has been taught this for at least 10 years and most likely by both her parents, and her school. I would suggest talking to her about this, and explain to her that these views can get her in trouble with people. Next to that a decent approach imo is to reflect it. “Chinese are the smartest? OK, and what was your test score at xx again?” or just explain that people are treated for their personal accomplishments instead of what someone else from their country has achieved.
This made my day!
Bro can't you you see how fake your friend is? She is a literal red flag. You should've gotten that when she responded to the message of you wanting to break off the friendship! She doesn't like your gf! She's trying to break you guys up by talking bad about her to you and calling her insecure.
Your gf is right.
Oh my god!! That is absolutely horrid you have NO RIGHT to do that. This was not your jewelry aand it was a special set for someone else. Major asshole move. Yes you need to come clean and do all you can to get that jewelry back. I wouldn’t be surprised if you lose your relationship after this. I sure as hell wouldn’t stay. No wonder she hates you. You’re so disrespectful to your “family”
You’re dating an asshole.rapist.
What if you broke up and realize you made a mistake and want the other person back?
Or what if you want the other person back when they’re breaking up with you?
I wish my boyfriend would give me an anal dildo for Christmas….
Tell him the gloves you got him were for pegging so you keep clean. You can't wait to try them!
Likely to be more widespread in countries that are primarily homogenous(like China is) .
This is what happens when you rush into living with someone. You can easily avoid this by waiting to move in. You essentially let a stranger into your house. You're lucky this is the worst that's happened.
Move out and move on.
Sounds like you need to move on from both of them.
This is the first thing in two years that I have legit gotten upset about, which is partly why this is so rough for me to navigate. The man is perfect in every other way, and you made a good point about his approaching it in the kindest way possible. I TRULY (and I mean this fr) would not care if he watched porn and was straight up about it. I wouldn’t be posting about this situation at all. It’s the lies connected to it that makes it sticky. I appreciate your insight.
Obviously. And narcissists make shitty parents. Look at the raised by narcissists subreddit.
Of course. I was more commenting on how strangely the whole post seems to be written. Usually if there are accusations of cheating on here the poster right away goes over the top claiming innocence and that they’ve never done anything wrong. I don’t actually see anything in the admittedly vague post denying a single accusation or anything. It seems almost to be spun as “his attitude is so hurtful” without addressing the question of whether he is right first. I think the accuracy of his accusations goes a long way toward whether his reaction is or isn’t reasonable.
Kudos to you and your mother on allowing him to step into your life after 13 years. You have shown to be bigger persons – but with that naming shit he knew what he did and you don't have to mend that.issue at hand.
The doesn't care much about you, hell his new wife had to contact you and trying to convince you otherwise! No, your father doesn't care enough about you.
Of course. The reminder here is that you did nothing wrong. You were a teenager. You’re not expected to do everything right. Part of growing up is making mistakes (though I would argue this wasn’t truly a mistake on your end at all). You are still young and will probably make some more mistakes. That’s okay. Do not fear judgement, especially from your therapist. You will grow from this and more importantly, you will grow past this.
She's gaslighting you bro, so listen to your gut and walk away…
Not worth the stress, bc we both know what's going on…
First you need to cancel all shared credit cards immediately! Close any joint accounts as well! Forward your mail to a post office box. Do you rent or own? I hope his name isn't on the mortgage. File an eviction notice. Stop paying his bills. Tell him the relationship is over pain and simple don't expound. If you are renting tell the landlord you want to break the lease pay the fee and move all of your things out. Get a moving company.
This is not overweight, or at least not if you are slightly taller. I have a feeling, there is more to this story than you tell us. This is more than just weight issue.
Return the shoes to ur BF, tell him he must solve whatever issues he have with his brother. Also if it happens again just tell the brother u wont accept the gift and he must talk about it with ur BF.
I am always curious about what people like your husband are thinking. I mean, assuming he intended his marriage to last until death do you part, what does he expect you to look like in your 70’s? Your 80’s? Is his expectation you lose enough weight to please him and then stay looking young/skinny/etc forevermore? What will you have to do to your body to keep him happy 20-30 years from now? Never wrinkle? Never have body parts sag? It’s an illogical and unreasonable line of thought.
I am also curious about his weight/physical appearance . Like is he putting all this on you when he could lose a few pounds?
It was more of a shock that she read them.
I could care less what she posts, I thought she would care less as well.
It just makes me not want to post, which stinks.
Bro is not about the so called toxic masculinity, is just that women in general arent attracted to a man who cries thats it
u/ThrowAway01u28281y2, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I don't wanna… but, FUCK if I'm gonna.
The best weight you could lose is the 175# (just naming a number) jerk you’re married to!
Good lord you're going very hot tonight.
I still want to know what you think you're achieving with the spaces.
I briefly thought “huh, what are the chances they're in the same small city as me” and then I checked and it's a chain with like 15 locations, I'd just never seen any except in Exeter lol
*I also don’t want to argue about him playing video games for the 1,000,000th time*
I know it's hyperbole, Op, but it does seem like it's the gabillionth time, doesn't it?
I don't know what to say, Op. It seems some people get all caught up playing video games to the point that they neglect their partner AND they don't seem to understand or CARE.
The odds that you can talk to him so that he UNDERSTANDS and changes his behavior are slim to none, I think.
Maybe you need to decide if this relationship is worth you listening to gunfire, eating alone, and being in your bedroom by yourself AGAIN.
Probably cause it sounds more like a chore than a romantic gesture ?♂️
It's harder to say scary words out loud than write them.
Completely illegal and also an enmeshment that is extremely unhealthy for your mother and sister. Your mother is actually making your sister's condition worse by inserting herself rather than by removing herself from the equation entirely and forcing your sister to work it out. She is a very unwell woman.
How is vacation 'whatever your mother plans'??? Honestly, rather than worrying about the details of your sister, mother, and niece you should focus on getting yourself away from those people.
u/wwibl24, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Usually “the one that got away” refers to someone you let go. In this case, he's the one who cut you loose, so it's not really “the one that got away” so much as “the one who ran away on purpose.”
He didn't want a relationship with you. When you trim away all the fat, that's what it really comes down to. If he had, he'd have suggested that you two date for real. Instead, he ended things. No point in wondering what his underlying motivations were because at the end of the day, if he wanted to be with you he would. You should never have to talk someone into that by protesting when they say they don't.
Build a good support system, it will more than pay off, and they can testify to your fitness if it ever comes to that.
My guess is it won't, he sounds like a blowhard to me. Best of luck.
Let me translate: “I don’t know” means “Yes, if he will have me”
Never break up with anyone over the phone unless they have a habit of physical or verbal abuse.
To me I’d just rip the band aid now, and let him reset his life with others for Christmas and New Years. If it all gets dropped on his head right after he will be more sour about it I feel.
u/ObjectiveSoft8124, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
u/ObjectiveSoft8124, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Report him! He did it to himself! He preyed on a child and treated you like trash. Why would you protect this guy from the obvious and reasonable consequences of his own actions?
u/ThrowAWflamingo, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
It’s not inconsequential at all. This is the red flag – HUGE ONE – you said he didn’t have. Leave now…there’s no way this can be reconciled. He thinks he’s smarter than you…and all women. Find a guy who doesn’t think that! There are tons of them out there
Is it inconsequential? The reality is that you being okay with this is also you being okay with your partner believing he is intellectually superior to you. So it’s your call how you want to move forward, but know that he 100% does harbour misogynist views, and those views apply to you as well. Good luck
He’s not the love of your life if he’s emotionally abusive and manipulative.
Dump him, focus on yourself, and then find someone who doesn’t treat you like crap.
Huh, I agree with you on that this sub likes to invent salacious stories and fill in missing details with the worst possible chain of events and intentions. I haven’t noticed it being directed to women more than men.
I am surprised they aren’t dragging this guy, that’s 100% what I expected. Mostly I think this sun wants a villain in every story and to persecute that person. The groupthink is strong here, so my presumption when I’m surprised like this is a comment supporting OP got put up quickly and after that it’s just lemmings.
It’s also easier to persecute the unrepresented party, they can’t add context or details.
Sounds like performance anxiety. Here is an excerpt from a book called Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. He talks about a young woman who could not experience sexual climax because of her own performance anxiety.
“This anticipatory anxiety resulted both in excessive intention to confirm her femininity and excessive attention centered upon herself rather than upon her partner. This was enough to incapacitate the patient for the peak experience of sexual pleasure, since the orgasm was made an object of intention, and an object of attention as well, instead of remaining an unintended effect of unreflected dedication and surrender to the partner. After undergoing short-term logotherapy, the patient’s excessive attention and intention of her ability to experience orgasm had been “dereflected,” to introduce another logotherapeutic term. When her attention was refocused toward the proper object, i.e., the partner, orgasm established itself spontaneously.”
The point is to focus ENTIRELY on your partner and not think about whether you are hot. It won’t be easy, but you can get it with practice. Once your attention is TRULY on your partner, you will get hot no problem.
Yup I can see why you’re 35 dating a 20 year old. Gross.
I mean obviously I think about her a lot but that's more because I don't have a project to work on at the moment. I've been trying to go on dates and have gone on a few recently but nothing panned out.
Anyways if I met someone I liked more I would replace her very quickly.. just don't see any point in getting in my feelings and ending things because I think I'm getting played when what I'm really getting is some decent companionship and some amazing sex. Legit the kinkiest most fulfilling sex of my life.
Both my parents and my boyfriend will have quite the reaction to how deep I dug, but I need to fix it before anymore damage is done.
Sorry for being unclear but they have met each other and get along fine besides recent feelings.
This is great advice and I really appreciate it. I needed this kind of structured advice to help me think all this through clearly.
Sounds to me like she could have just poked holes in the condoms to baby trap you. You should contact a lawyer ASAP.
Oh no, it doesnt have a ring to it, better stick to the one that does not include half the population in it and calls every abusive, toxic or otherwise unfavorable person mentally ill
He may not be into her anymore, but it's clear she is still holding on. He can't have a friendship with her under those conditions. It's just cruel. My guess is he's giving her false hope.
7 months is long enough for you to be a priority. 7 months is also long enough for him to think about a different (not with you) living situation because the lease could be up shortly. Surly moving out of a situation where the roommate hasn't moved on in at least 7 months is warranted.
Out of curiosity. Where/how is he spending Christmas? Are you sharing the holiday with the roommate? And, what did he get her for Christmas?
But, I don't know that's me and my rational thoughts.
Dump him. If he’s 31 and being that inconsiderate, there’s a reason he’s dating 22yos.
I dated some old guys when I was in my early twenties. You let a lot slide because you’re so young yourself. But when you get to my age (36) and see these 30yo men doing that shit, it’s a hell no.
He’s rude. Inconsiderate. Whether he’s conscious of it or not, you are gonna have a lot of disappointments with that crap
he doesn't want his children raised like this.
This isn't just a difference of political views, your BF seems to have gone full-on cult member. I have a one trans child and one gender fluid child. They were not “raised” in any way other than to be kind and considerate and to believe in themselves.
The right is having a field day with lies, misinformation and abuse about and towards the LGBTQ+ community. I may be wrong, but I feel like the flood of the open abuse and hatred toward this community is because it's still acceptable to do so.
They don't need to use coded language or dog whistles, they can just be open homophobic and transphobic and dehumanize an entire segment of the population – and I think there's a certain glee or gusto with how they approach this topic because in the current climate it's “OK” for them to be openly cruel, reductive and smug about this.
Anyway, you and your BF aren't compatible because he lacks empathy and compassions and you don't.
“I can tolerate bigotry if I want to”! is not the win you think it is.
Can you explain?
How long do you plan to avoid signs and red flags? This behaviour is only a mystery because you chose not to see it.
I
Yes bro
He doesn’t care about wrecking you.
You can't change her.
How do you think this has affected your romantic relationships?
Sometimes when people overthink things, and are insecure, they end up being the ones who are aggressive, insulting and harassing to their friends, and they pretty much cause their friends to have to cut them off because of the very behavior that is happening because their friends are worried they're cutting them off.
Having to constantly reassure someone you like them when you have given them no indication you don't is absolutely exhausting mentally and emotionally.
Having someone passive aggressively respond as though you have been ignoring them or pushing them away, when you haven't been, pisses you off because it's unfair and makes it feel like you have to constantly defend yourself.
When you obsess about minor interactions for weeks or months, and then refer back to them as bigger than they are, that can make someone concerned about how balanced you are and whether you're able to respond appropriately in normal friendship situations.
You need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and taker her at her word. You need to stop sending “woe is me” or “why do you hate me” messages to people to manipulate them into reassuring you or responding faster. You need to let small interactions go and not keep re-hashing them. You need to stop making people tell you over and over again that you're ok. Because if you don't, this is the behavior that drives people away.
I already broke up with him a couple weeks ago because there were also other things that werent adding up about him and im asking retrospectively now
I’m leaning towards a rash mistake out of excitement.
I don’t like how oversharing became the norm with social media, looks like this guy may be conditioned to do that, thinking that’s what he needs to do.
For me I would feel uncomfortable, if the date went well then I’d go on a second date and explain how you feel about oversharing on social media. That the comment gave a feeling of pressure / expectation, that you’d like to keep your personal life private, but you do understand it came from a good place.
How he reacts to that will give you an idea if it’s worth a third date.
She wants to fuck
You're over your ex, but not over the betrayal and sketchiness of what he did. It will take a long time, if ever. Your new fella needs to be understanding and give you time, space and positive reinforcement
Sounds like she is already cheating and wants to legitimize it so she doesn’t feel bad about herself by opening up the relationship. Or sh already had someone in mind that she wants to cheat with. Either way she is checked out. If you don’t do couples therapy divorce and find someone who appreciates you better
I don’t think there’s an end to this. I guess we can look into not working opposite schedules. Just hot with childcare. We used to be able to afford it. But with inflation and housing and everything in between it hasn’t been easy.
Maybe I just shouldn’t complain. I recognize that others likely have it way worse
this is so true! i kept justifying my ex's behaviour cause i felt it was just cause he was going thru stuff and this isn't the real him. but it was. he was just getting comfortable showing it to me, knowing i won't leave him. well i did and he didn't take it well at all.
I'd ask her to explan why this is important to her. I'm guessing she feel undervalued, or perhaps your not commited to the relationship. But those are just guesses.
If this is a relationship you value I'd offer a compermise, she explains herself for 6 months worth.
And many times it’s because they are spending you into debt, and they can’t continue to juggle this balance and that balance and this balance transfer and that balance transfer when their partner decides to NCEL in a blue moon treat themselves.
My ex wife was doing that shit, to the tune of 100k in credit card debt in 10 years. I paid it off the first 2 times it happened, then got stuck with the balance of her new debt in the divorce.
Every time I spent money, it was the same old song and dance. What did you buy? Why did you buy it? Who is it for?
Meanwhile, Amazon’s stock price directly fluctuated with the bar graph of boxes on our porch.
It doesnt sound like you need to be in a relationship with anybody for a while. You sound incredibly “mood ring”-ish.
It’s not about time. Your focus is also entirely in the wrong place, although I’m not going to sit here suggesting you’re crazy for having the fear you have; it’s just irrelevant.
You broke up for a reason or reasons. What were they? Either way, be it during the break or break up, what was done to fix those issues?
Logically, the answer is that nothing was fixed. So outside of not wanting her to hook up with other guys, what makes you ready? What makes your relationship healthy? Why will it work this time around?
u/Ok-Mycologist2340, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
u/Adamowski100, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
He is literally breadcrumbing you and keeping you as a second option while he looks for a “catholic partner”. Just stop wasting your time.
You were going to drive drunk, so that already tells me you’re a stupid and selfish cunt.
Do you make enough to on-line with a roommate? Can you work more? And again, is it possible for you to get a student loan?
I sent you a message but I figured I should comment incase you see it. I lost my mom to cancer about a month ago, so my advice comes from that perspective:
Forget the girlfriend. She’s a big girl. She is choosing to isolate herself from you and her family. She’s 31 years old, she is capable of finding solutions. She could’ve said no to going and made her own Christmas plans. She chose not to do those things.
Don’t waste a single second trying to contact her. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Focus on spending time with your mom and family. It’s going to fucking suck when she’s gone.
You might also want to reconsider this relationship. When your mom goes you’ll need the person beside you to be supportive. Not just for a week. They need to be capable of being 100% selfless. Your girlfriend does not seem capable of this. You’re having potentially your last Christmas with your mom and all she can focus on is how sad she feels and is actively trying to compound your stress.
Ditch the girlfriend. Enjoy your mom. Best wishes to you and yours.
Whether you approach him with the list or not, you want him to change. Never date to change people. You don’t get to do that. Would you want to be with someone who secretly wants you to change a bunch of stuff about yourself but is gritting their teeth hoping that one day you’ll read their mind and meet those expectations? Probably not, so why do you think it’s even fair to pose this to a bunch of internet strangers?
Not only are your expectations objectively unrealistic — and contradictory — for just about any relationship, you’re wasting his time hoping he changes.
u/JellyGold7325, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I've read your comments and you should have been up front about not feeling romantic feelings. She isn't your science experiment nor is she your therapist.
Tell her immediately that you don't feel the same way and break up with her. She deserves to be with someone who feels the same way. Learn that unresolved trauma is not a ticket to be an awful person. Seek therapy. And don't date again if you think you aren't capable of romantic feelings. Why would you even be in relationships if that was the case? Or at least in a relationship with someone who is not “aromantic” or isn't extremely aware of your situation.
Be better. This is one of the most heartless posts I've read on here.
u/Due_Theory2158, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Haha that’s exactly the situation I want to avoid ? I know he’s a mature person, I just have that irrational(?) fear he’ll be weirded out and it’ll disappoint both of us in the end
You need to address this issue since you're contemplating to end your marriage over it. Don't be afraid to voice your opinions. You shouldn't allow disrespectful behaviour from anyone within the confines of any relationship. If he ain't remorseful and says that you kind of deserve it then you might to chose to end your marriage.
He’s hoping you rug sweep everything he said earlier. What he said cannot be ignored and I doubt anyone would blame you for leaving him.
As a person that was in a relationship with a narcissist. Yep yep yep!
Hello /u/peachy_butterflies,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This is the abuse cycle and this is emotional abuse.
I strongly encourage reading the book “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft.
Hello /u/Southern_Register_45,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This. People are like, it's not a bad gift, or maybe she is a bad gift giver. Sure, that's possible. But that doesn't change how he feels about it. Why lie about it, pretty sure she knows he's disappointed with it anyway else she wouldn't ask it. What matters is how you convey that disappointment, which is not by pointing fingers as she hasn't really done anything wrong.
I love keeping certain items unused. I really can't explain it, but it's as though the packaging–not just the box it comes in, but how it was placed in the box–is part of the item for me. It honestly makes me happy to see/keep the item in that state and I suspect that's how it is for your wife too. Are you feeling hurt because you think she doesn't treasure the gift? It's the other way around! You gave her the gift, now let her “use” it the way that makes her happy–even if her “use” of it is to keep it unused and whole.
It very much so is participating if you know it's happening multiple times now (as op has made clear) and still have done nothing.
I feel same. I never forgave my mom for forcing me (though I understand why, court ordered) to visit my abusive dad. For not fighting for me in the courts once she found out he was abusive on our visits to him. I don't hate my mom, but…it did leave a hole.
Have you lied to him?
So after all this time, everyone still has to alter their life because your mom was/is an alcoholic?
You’re not ready for a relationship. If you were, you wouldn’t do that you would realize how much pain it causes other people when you screw up your relationships like that. Why don’t you just be single for a while and when you want to be with somebody for a while just do it. That’s what we did so very long ago. And settle down when you’re much older or when you feel like it you’re not required to do that. However, if somebody ever matters that much to where you don’t want to behave like that, it may be time to go to therapy and work on some of your issues.
Ew. By blocking you on everything he took the trash out for you. Follow his lead and block him on everything else as well. Focus on yourself and your loss, no one's would have the emotional bandwidth to deal with such disgusting behavior right now.
Condolences to you and other family
You have no idea if she cheated or not, tbh to move on so quickly pretty much suggests she did have this other guy at least lined up, because it takes time to meet someone new and know someone well enough to get into a relationship with them.
her not wanting to go to the AA meeting is only part of a larger issue at hand here. your girlfriend is making no effort to try to build a relationship with your mother, and I believe you need to communicate with your girlfriend soon about why she is so reluctant and unwilling to make an effort to get to know your mother
Man no one should realistically care if there was a coworker you fucked that works with your current partner.
Jesus christ though you have to be one dumb fuck to have sex with your current partners sister just before you started dating. Honestly you should tell her so she ditches you and possibly her sister.
What’s the big deal even if it’s once a year?
Hello /u/lavenderwichh,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I will do that! If he messages me – I'll think it through. Depends on a kind of message he sends me lol
Hello /u/ThrowRA8901234,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
i guess by ultimatum i also mean tell her i’ll be moving out. i’m 20 so i still on-line with her because i don’t have a job that can pay for an apartment yet. the ultimatum isn’t really for purposes of her getting sober, but just so she won’t get a car because she could kill someone else driving. i thought the accident would be rock bottom for her, and she goes back and forth to rehabs and detoxes constantly, at least 15x that i can remember. i just feel like as her daughter, i have a responsibility to do whatever i can to stop her from having access to a car. if she killed someone on the road i don’t know how i could on-line with myself
Hello /u/DragonflyBoth9240,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I agree with this. If you're having issues in a relationship, you have to communicate and work on fixing things together. Going on a break is just putting things off and hoping it all fixes itself. Relationships take time and effort.
There's also the high probability of him just keeping her on the back burner in case something else doesn't work out and that thing didn't work out and that's why he regrets “taking a break”.
This is exactly how I feel. It MIGHT be different if he really was remorseful and thought that he did something wrong. He doesn't. I can almost guarantee that if it were you sending nudes, he wouldn't think it was alright.
dump this loser. I have severe ADHD where I can't work jobs that involve routinely locking doors or remember things perfectly 24/7 and I still always get my partner a gift because I love her. he don't love you
Hello /u/samsara7361,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Because communication is an important part of a healthy relationship. I don’t know why Reddit and other places tell women to immediately dump the guy over every thing.
I think it’s just because they hate men and just take joy in causing a man some bit of suffering, not because it’s actually the best solution.
Do you think I should just should just have the conversation with her but not mention Megan at all? The change in her behavior only happened after they started dating, like the very week before she was still talking to me a lot and saying, “I love you.” It's also just frustrating to not get any 1:1 time, because they see each other literally every day. Maybe I should just try to facetime her more and try to plan another time for us to see each 1:1 in-person in the future? We're both very very busy with school, so I was really looking forward to this break where we both have free time.
I would argue that it does matter what the “specific ask” is. For example, if a guy had an anxiety issue and wanted a paternity test then that's demonstrating lack of trust. It's an insult. Likewise, OP's SO may view this issue as a lack of trust.
Althought I think this is more simply a mismatch in the overall relationship expectations. OP seems to want a really serious relationship and her SO doesn't seem ready for it.
There’s nothing genuine about this guy. He’s a player number one had a girlfriend got you involved with it ghosted you and because you don’t want him anymore he want you. It’s very immature. The whole thing that you just described. He’s like high school. Leave it alone and move about your business he’s not a man that’s gonna love you forever the minute he get you he will be out checking out everybody else.
You are 19 and 20 years old. If something in this relationship doesn't feel right, end it and move on. You have a whole lifetime to find the love of your life. I'm not saying you shouldn't work on issues in a relationship, but if she's supposed to be with you and she's actively browsing tinder, it sounds like she wants to be single and dating, not in a relationship. Petty accusations of you cheating when she is using tinder are a red flag. Projecting what she may be doing onto you. You two need to come together and form a real bond, or let each other go.
Hello /u/ThrowRA-mirror-ball,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
For the thousandth fucking time I guess you are right what the fuck do you want from me.lol
Hello /u/Impossible-Desk-461,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Ok I'm 100% convinced you're a troll.
I’m gonna go against the grain here and stop shitting in OP for a second. For one thing, a lot of people in the comments are saying “you got your friends Christmas gifts but not one for your girlfriend.” There are 2 issues with this. They weren’t Christmas gifts, he got them specifically because they helped him get on his feet and get a job. And his girlfriend doesn’t celebrate Christmas, and as such he treated her to a getaway in the mountains rather than any kind of material item, which is argue is more meaningful then a chain. OP really needs to include this in the post so that people stop misinterpreting it.
Secondly, people are criticizing OP saying $900 “Isn’t even expensive.” While I certainly don’t agree, you have to admit that based on salary $900 dollars can be considered a drop in the bucket for some. It certainly isn’t for me or most people I know, but I recognize that people make considerably more than me and my family and $900 being declared as “not expensive” doesn’t mean OP is bad at money management or doesn’t understand the concept of money.
Thirdly, I’ve seen a few people saying that OP is “prioritizing his 3 female friends over his gf.” For one, Vik is a guy, as clarified in a comment, and even if they were all women, he treated her to a mountain getaway, whereas he got his friends chains. He most certainly prioritized his girlfriend when it comes to these exchanges. Again, a problem with OP not putting enough info into the post.
What I’m trying to get at here is that I think some of y’all are being way too hot on OP. I have a feeling a lot of y’all read the title, and maybe skimmed the post, and immediately started trashing on OP before taking the time to look deeper and read the comments. I do also think that OP should put all this information into his post so people can get the full picture easier, but I most definitely think that people are being too harsh on OP. Especially because the girlfriend is described as “being mad that I didn’t get her something nice” but for one thing, these were gifts for his friends because they all helped him get a, apparently quite high paying job, and also, I cannot stress this enough mountain getaway. I find that much more “nice” then some chains. I do understand where people are coming from with their criticisms, but I swear people really don’t like giving advice in this advice sub. All they do is needlessly shit on OP even if they’re the ones misinterpreting something. Plus all of OP’s comments are downvoted, even ones that are literally just him clarifying information. What happened to the advice part of relationship advice?
Hello /u/StuffyMuzzel,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/tacitusinvictus,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Or your friends mother.
UpdateMe!
Hello /u/anonymousaccount1689,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
So put them in your will instead of your wife you've mentioned both of you are well off so she'll be fine financially if you pass
Don't die for nyash
Hello /u/hjkcfillbl,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yes, I definitely agree.
You’re in love with someone who you meet on-line a few weeks ago HOW?
He’s not worried about her, he wants her to look different.
It’s not about that in this case. This is an issue that will literally end the relationship unless it is resolved, therefor either you talk about it and deal with it or break up.
When something is this important you cannot ignore or subvert the problem. Gaining this much bodyweight and ignoring your partners attempts at discussion on the topic is simply a clear cut reason for a break up.
Hello /u/Remarkable-Fee-8017,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She doesn't see your concern here. You do care for her and you are worried for her, but in the end if she doesn't want to she doesn't have to. She isn't comfortable talking about her weight, but it shouldn't end in a fight as soon as it comes up. It's not healthy. Its not normal either. If she isn't willing to reason here, you are meeting a stone wall.
Now you have choices to make. Do you really wanna worry about her and walk on eggshells or is it time to maybe move on? You can't wait for her to make up her mind or maybe change her views here. You would be resentful about it and maybe just flush down your time and efforts down the toilet. You are young and there is so much more out there. Don't get stuck here.
Dude, you’re a prude.
No reason you can’t shower with your small children. Not doing so is more weird than doing so.
How can you trust her again? She cheated on you, then lied about it to you, and you spent time thinking about what you did wrong, doubting yourself, when in fact she was cheating the whole time.
Fuck that.
Okay I didn't read your whole comment, but I am also saying OP is full of bullshit in his approach to his gf. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care about fitness. The sentence is really not that clearly worded to know when it started. Just that he started asking her to come with him. You are making shit up instead if reading what OP writes.
It is clear he doesn't care about his gf enough to ask about her health. And that OP needs to see his gf as more than a fitness buddy. But that and him being into fitness are not mutually exclusive.
Your experience sounds like it sucked hot, but you are projecting. Not everyone that is into fitness and wanting a partner with similar values is a scumbag. OP is only a scumbag for not being upfront.
He told you what he needs, you don’t like the answer.
I think you know what's at stake. You can certainly do as you please, but don't expect others to appreciate it.
If it's a leggings and jumper kind of event then it's pretty weird to turn up in a miniskirt and 5 inch boots.
Not because of “modesty” but because you're dressing for a different situation.
So here’s the thing he put himself in that situation do you want a guy who will willingly do that
Hello /u/Ladyshallotonion,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/ArianaGrandeMocha,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
He was going over to hang with friends, not just her.
When I was going through a period of narcisstic abuse this was VERY common behavior for him. He'd intentionally leave open-ended/cryptic messages. Even if he started responding later, he'd never clarify what he meant. They were often threatening some kind of behavior on his end. It was a way for him to regain control by making me anxious & fearful. I suspect too, like you guys are saying that it was a confession.
You BF is acting manipulative and I don't think you deserve it.
Hello /u/DemonDollies,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I feel compelled to reply to this because I had the same problem as your boyfriend. I was a serial groper. Not of random women, but of women I was dating and in relationships with. I would do it randomly and it upset them.
What I figured out is that I was suffering from self esteem issues. It was Nathanial Branden's Self Fulfilling Prophecy. I honestly thought that these women were too good for me (my own thoughts, not theirs) and that they were going to leave me at any moment. So, when you are in that mindset that just sets you up for bad behavior.
Here is what worked for me. He needs to work on his self esteem. Identify his self esteem issues and work on them. If he can't afford a shrink there are lots of good books on this subject he could read and would help with this.
He needs to realize that he doesn't own you and your body. He is acting as if he does. He may not see it that way, but his willful blindness does not negate that he is using your body for his own means.
You need to get him to accept this and take responsibility for it. Don't let him beat himself up about it. That only serves to keep him stuck in the behavior. He has to take responsibility and move on (away from the behavior, not away from you).
He has to accept your boundaries, that he only touches your breasts and butt during consensual sex. These are actually very fair boundaries for both of you.
He may not actually know how to initiate sex non-verbally. He might literally think that grabbing your boobs is how you do that. It might be worth having a talk with him about how to initiate sex. As much as it might annoy you and feel like a waste of time, you have to realize that he is not working at the same emotional and maturity level as you, and he will need to learn this stuff to make you happy. So teach him how to initiate sex with you.
And also, there are lots of things he can do if he needs “release” and you aren't available. I definitely would NOT recommend giving him nudes right now. Maybe help him create sexy storylines or something he can masturbate to. Stuff like that.
Hope this helps. If he won't do any of this, obviously break up with him. But if you want a relationship with him, this is what you have to do.
You HAVE to consent. Period.
Does he really mean that? Or is it just drunk talk?
Does it matter? You can't stay with someone who is capable of talking about you that way, and you know it.
My boyfriend got blackout drunk last weekend, and I overheard a conversation with him and his best friend, about the best friends partner. And my boyfriend, slurring and stumbling and a complete disaster, told his best friend “but I never have to worry about (whatever they were discussing) with U/k-braithwaite, cause she loves me even if I'm a dipshit. And I am a dipshit. But she loves me, and so I'm a lucky dipshit, cause she's hot, and had my baby, and loves me, and were gonna have more babies and she loves me.” Obvs a silly example, but that's how you partner should talk about you when drunk. Like that foundation of respect that's integral to all romantic relationships, is still there.
If he can say it at all, it's a terrible sign, blackout drunk or not.
Nope, not at all. Just means not a beer gut, really…
Please for your safety leave him! This is not okay! He raped you and trying to force you to have a child. This is wrong and terrifying on so many levels. As you said your still young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't let this ass ruin your life.
The OM is the love of her life – but you are willing to marry her. The Don't settle. You deserve to be #1.
Don't reveal how you know. Don't discuss or respond to anything she says. She destroyed your trust (regardless of whether they had sex).
If you knew anything about diabetes you would know why I'm saying he should have told me. Do some research before replying.
We’ll hug and sit really close together but nothing more than that
(Adding a new comment instead of editing my old one, because I want to make sure you see this.)
I understand it’s my fault for not being clear with him about children
Here is what being “unclear about children” actually looks like:
Saying, “well I won’t go out of my way to get pregnant, but if it happens, it happens”.
Not taking your birth control, and shrugging about it when he notices and asks. Still being willing to fuck – without being prodded or pressured – even if you skipped a few days.
Telling him, “don’t worry about it” when he goes to put on a condom.
Never getting upset about the possibility of getting pregnant. No conversations, no trying to explain how you feel, nothing. Just a shrug and a perfectly calm, unworried reaction every time the possibility comes up.
Men know you don’t want children when you use birth control or ask for a condom. They know you don’t want them when you take Plan B, or try to express how upset you are. He is choosing to play dumb because he knows he can’t get you pregnant if you realize what’s happening and leave.
I mean, if you really want her gone as soon as possible, have you considered giving her back some of the rent you banked just to get rid of her? Sure, there are other options but this one would be fast and painless.
Hello /u/Known_Preparation875,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You're 19 and she's 20. Why not both of you move on to people you're more compatible with. Don't be with someone you're coercing into a sex act you know they don't like. If you can't be “100% committed” without coercing her into something she hates, move on. Even she has told you this.
Hello /u/ThrowRA_590286,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/rgfhjked,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Sea_Independence8472,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Is a toxic guy you know for such a short amount of time worth to drop friends from years back? Imagine he would enforce this on you for all of your friends.. do you think that's healthy and okay?
Hello /u/nuckelavee1313,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Or kissed him and spat it in his mouth – let him see how it tastes
You do realize we can see your comment history?
You were reasy to ditch her the first miment possible.
Now that she's finally understood it, you're here crying.
Okay that is fine for her to think it's a SO holiday. Just because I don't and i want to spend it with a really great group of guys doesn't make me a shitty human.
Hello /u/Eman_naal,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Let's not victim blame her, because when she beces a victim (she already is) she's going to be hurting. Buy I also love your comment.
Was this a gag gift?
red flag parade LOL
I like you and this comment
For me, deal breakers are deal breakers and are things I will not accept in a partner.
You can't expect him to change, but from your post it sounds more likely that some internal reflection may allow you to see weed use as less of a “deal breaker”. From your interactions with this guy it sounds like maybe lumping all weed smoking/vaping into one category isn't as helpful.
So you want to commit visa fraud because he’s a “sweet” guy?
Are you for real? ???
I loved all my speech therapists too. It's really hot not to. It becomes very obvious to even a child that this person is making a massive improvement to their QOL.
When he's around 3 or 4 really start hammering down on the flash cards and the letters on them. You can teach him to read a lot faster than most children just due to the training he's going through.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if i found out that she cheated (either emotionally or physically) already and was just trying to use it as an excuse. I cant trust a person who suddenly wants to turn a monogamous relationship into an open/poly one. Espessialy with the way she was acting the month before this all happened.
Hello /u/QueenFlagler,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yes he knows, and they have spoken to him before about it. The usual result is him playing it down, telling them she loves them and didn’t mean it that way etc, her showering them with love, and no actual change (it always eventually gets back to being this way after a couple of weeks)
I would not recommend family therapy to a person acting this way. He needs individual therapy first and foremost. Once he begins to make progress and the son can see that progress, then they consider family therapy. But going into family therapy with dynamic is probably not going to work out well.
Hello /u/Misterfusterpusster,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
What about the victims in the data he held? Or your fiancé, knowing you’ve been in contact with a convicted paedofile? Don’t contact this guy. You won’t get closure, it’s a myth. What are you expecting him to even say??
I came off an ssri for fertility reasons and I nearly lost myself. Do not compromise on your mental health for anything or anyone
What the fuck?
Therapy to figure out why you would ever agree to marry someone who intentionally upsets you – “he came behind me and put a knife against my neck,” “when i think he already fell asleep he would shout to scare me,” “i beg not to do it again but the next day he does it” – and divorce to fix the problem of currently being married to an abusive partner.
?
This is not “big time.”
Stop being negative towards yourself, nothing good that direction.
You have needs, she has limits. Either negotiate, compromise or move on.
Self-abuse only makes things worse.
Same. I basically stopped reading after that.
I believe he cares but sometimes he has to kick me down a couple of notches to remind me who’s in control here. I don’t know I just couldn’t rationalize telling someone it’s not my responsibility to verbalize my boundaries.
TRIGGER WARNING (just in case)
Depends on which behavior you're referring to.
Physical abuse typically starts off with violence to animals, a lot of the time there will be domestic incidents with there family, a history of drug or alcohol use, violent incidents like fights in school, or past bullying behavior. Fire starting isn't uncommon, but it isn't a big one either.
Sexual predators usually have a history of voyeuristic habits: peeping Tom type stuff, a habit of exposing themselves in public, groping people (or other sexual harassment type behavior), if it's full on sexual abuse they usually start off with an addiction to cp before actually moving on to taking action against children. If their target is adults, they watch other types of videos, usually targeted toward their target age group/area of interest and to get ideas on how to act when they carry out their acts.
There's the red flag. you're afraid to speak to him open and honestly because he is a manchild. Where is he gonna on-line if he doesn't have you? perhaps you should kick him out. eighteen months is way too soon to be living with someone in my opinion. especially when you got kids in the mix. you got to bee choosier as a single mom.
Hello /u/Feathergrind,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She what she did? She turned her mess of a life back on you. She ignored your concern and made you the bad guy. That’s enough to tell you she doesn’t care about you. She only wants another person to play a part in her drama. If an hour talk with the doctor can’t help her, you spending your evenings driving around to see if she’s alive won’t do a thing. Stay away from her and don’t give in. She wants an audience, not a solution. Find friends who are a joy to be with. On-line your life stress free. Nothing you do is going to change her because she likes having people worried about her. You don’t need to be one of them. Don’t feel guilty for walking away. You can’t help her, so stop trying.
From 3-8. And then again the morning for an hour. And he’s not counting school pickup/dropoff, so another hour. Or the chores she does after the kid in bed. So by his own admission she’s working nonstop for 7 hours a day, even if the laundry and toilet fairies take care of everything else.
The third year of dating my bf (47m) and I (42f) broke up and I moved into a separate room in the house. We got back together but both of us admitted to liking the personal space so we kept the separate rooms ?. We’re at six years now and married last month.
That’s harsh, I would really think about your relationship.
What are you getting out of this op? You don’t deserve to be treated like that. Especially when he knows about your eating disorder. No men do not act like this, assholes do. My husband has been with me through so much body wise, from pregnancy to postpartum to getting my body back. He’s loved me through it all and complimented every stage even when I was postpartum and that once round cute belly was then deflated. Life is too short to not be loved right. Good luck op.
Hello /u/bjqvvvvv,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
If he really cared about your feelings he would do whatever he could to help you feel less insecure, and not just get annoyed by those feelings. He doesn’t even have a car? Shorty you gotta throw the whole ass man away I’m fr dude is a bum. Has other people pay for his stuff, and I’m assume you also pay for some of his stuff?
Thanks. People forget how shitty we all tend to be at relationships in our early twenties. Not a judgement- it’s just the nature of the human beast. Our brains haven’t finished curing yet.
I suggest you have a heart-to-heart where you get her to share her feelings behind why she is celibate. Ask open-ended questions to put the burden of proof on her to justify her reasoning. Then share your feelings and frustration about her decision. You may have to break up with her if you two are no longer sexually compatible.
It’s Rumpelstilzchen!
Keep the dog, lose the fiance.
read the ages involved and realize that you're asking for child porn.
“High fives for […] trying, but also knowing when to stop and walk away.”
Yup, what you said!
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” — Captain Jean-Luc Picard
When a situation is no-win, there is no shame in walking away instead of losing sanity, sleep and years of one's life to keep trying the impossible.
Ok Chris watts , good advice ……..
Holy crap did he do the old bait and switch. The mask fell off his face. You finally see him for what he is. I’m glad you’re geothermal divorce. More over to You
You seem to be focused on what made me want to be with her to begin with
You are very right. The reason I’m focusing on this is because being attracted to someone with as many problems as her, and centering yourself that YOU helped solve HER problems, often hints at having codependent tendencies and disorganized attachment (google attachment styles for more info). And the way you described an unequal relationship and not being vulnerable or able to be vulnerable with a lot of people, but then back tracking both points when I mention them, you’re hot to pin down. And that too is common for people with disorganized attachment.
And the reason that matters is that disorganized attachment can make creating secure bonds difficult, can lead to bonding over things that don’t last, and can cause people to ignore or minimize red flags, and all this then often sets them up to be blind sided when the relationship falls apart. So I’d suggest at the very least googling codependent behavior and attachment styles. I could be wrong but how you described your relationship from the get go sounded unbalanced and not very healthy for either of you. Thus the reason I’m focusing there. As to why the drastic change on her part, hot to say with out knowing more of what the relationship dynamic was, and like I said, it’s nude to get you to pin that down so naked to help there.
You got very lucky. Your life is worth the fight. You did the right thing. Did it occur to your fiance that the intruder likely watched your place for days before entering? Without machete-guy, the intruder has no motivation to stay out. Two unarmed women will not scare him away, it just gives him more victims. Stay strong. Follow your gut. Those who weren't there can keep the comments to themselves.
Thank you! I’ve been seeing a therapist for over 4 years now… The reason I began therapy was because I was so unhappy with my husbands drinking. Here we are 4 years later still talking about our problems. That’s not to say there haven’t been many wonderful times in between but I’m having trouble staying afloat with the negatives especially now with a baby.
This happened to me in college. I demanded a “hall pass” of my own, used it, and promptly broke up with her afterwards. If people want to play games with you the best revenge is to be better at the game
Hello /u/chynnadoll_,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Oh wow, there's really good news here – your solution is simple and obvious, costs nothing, and can be done in 10 seconds.
You're obviously sorry, now go apologize to your husband. Make it sincere, and thorough.
what kind of self-care do you do? What kind of hobbies do you have just for you? Do you spend quality time with yourself instead of thinking about them? And start to build your day around you. That would be a good place to start. Self-care equals sanity. spend time at the gym, you will learn to enjoy it
practicing these things, would probably have a better results than trying to find happiness in someone else
I'll never tell you who YOU should vote for. I also give you mad respect for not parroting out a bunch of bs rhetoric and talking to me like a human being. I can absolutely understand voting for the democrats for your reasons. I did it myself…last time was in 2008. I got tired of seeing my vote go towards things I didn't support, and that's why I personally wont vote for conservatives no matter their team color.
You've also gained respect because you didn't call me any names, tell me I'm a horrible person, and you actually owned up to the democrat's faults. I'm not in agreement with a certain part of your argument, but honestly I like you too much at this point to bother bringing it up. I'd pretty much given up with reddit, as the commenters are usually so toxic. Thank you for bothering with your actual opinion instead of the normal trolling that usually gets tossed.
That’s the reason he wasn’t happy when you were doing well at your job or when you had friends. Those two things are what help you become strong enough ti leave and he doesn’t want you to leave. Someone that isolates you from people and isn’t happy for you successes doesn’t actually love you. He’s a pedophile and he groomed you. That’s not real love.
This is so weird. It’s in her best interest to lower the temp, use a heat protectant, and then maybe some hair spray if she’s been going too high on the temp to prevent the curls from falling. It’s super fixable. Are you in a power battle about anything else besides this?
You are acting like a child. You are living in their home. You should be getting the mail and picking up around the house without being asked. You are 28 years old. Grow up.
The part about her making you pay for her lunch is a bit much. Tell her no, or ask her why she doesn't have money. You have to start communicating like an adult, because this whole post reads like the rant of a moody teenager.
Imagine if it were flipped and your sister’s (or closest female friend, sun in a woman you care about) boyfriend was slapping her in public. What would your response to do be?
Leave.
This is not okay. It will not stop. Get out now before she escalates.
Like I said, it’s an overreaction, but had you ever discussed wanting to model? Especially lingerie modelling? It’s not as if you’d walk around the house in lingerie when you had company or parents/in-laws around (I assume). Would you change jobs on a whim without discussing it? And by the way, no company *ever** pays absolute top dollar* for lingerie modelling straight off the bat, especially for someone with no portfolio or prior experience. That alone should be a red flag for you, regardless of what the website or representative says.
I would def go go to an animal shelter and get a big ole puppy. I’d be sure to get one into training also!
Thank you
Pressured to marry, but not at all prepared for the sacrifices and concessions and extra care it takes to on-line together long-term. Your partner is not being respectful of your needs and its not going to get better without intervention.
When things have settled after new year's sit him down for a serious conversation and explain that this lifestyle isn't working for you. Your sensory issues are part of who you are, and you shouldn't be expected to isolate yourself in a room while he hosts loud parties. If he can't see things from your perspective then start taking steps to seperate. Put yourself before anyone else.
It's not perfect. Still good
If this isn’t a troll post, then I’m not sure what you’re looking for. You f’d around and found out. Tons of couples get past infidelity. It takes work, but it’s not impossible. You have zero grounds to be upset or bitter about that when you knowingly were the other woman from the start.
Where do women always find men like that? Mind-blowing.
Leave him, not just as a boyfriend but also just on a human level this is terrible. If someone is in pain and you just dont care to help? Leave that guy.
My problem wasn’t with the plan b my problem was with what he said to me. It’s the fact that he got upset about me not FaceTiming him to show him me taking the pill for his peace and for him to have confirmation. We are in a relationship he should trust me, and trusted me when I told him that I took it.
Hello /u/missy-8552,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Thank you love
Hello /u/fudjasanki,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Definitely sit down when both parties are calm and talk about this topic and where you both stand.
His choice to draw his lines where he likes and yours to agree or disagree.
But be careful as these topics end badly for poor communicators.
Get him drunk and talkative. Nice.
You're not old enough to groom her. But I can't imagine anyone at 24 being interested in a 19 year old. And you're at different life stages. It wouldn't be a big deal if the ages were 25 & 30, but at your ages now you should think about this. (Are you the same person now you were at 19?)
He prioritized time with his friend over time with you. His friend who is on house arrest, i.e., some idiot who did something to deserve being stuck alone on NYE. Take that how you will, but don’t let him gaslight you about what he did. He ditched you for his friend.
It does but only for a second In our hour long lives. You’ll be fine brother.
Hello /u/BitProfessional4767,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
English is not my first language, sorry. I meant that i witness every interaction they have, which are almost always harmless and playful, except for the rough play. It's not that my bf is punching my dog when I'm not home, because we are always together and I see what he does
Why on earth do you want this awful man in your life? He's gone, you should be celebrating your freedom from this thing I'm not allowed to call childish men in this sub , not trying to get him back.
This is great! Thank you so much! I was really just sad that I was left alone by the end of the night. I really don’t mind his drinking, since he’s an adult, and it usually isn’t too bad. I just feel like he doesn’t know his own limits and goes way too far too fast without realizing it. I’ve had a conversation regarding the pacing of his drinking before but it doesn’t seem to have made much difference. I will bring it up again and check in on him. As far as any recent events that could have sparked up a rise in his drinking, there haven’t been any that I’m aware of. We are usually pretty transparent when it comes to events in our daily lives and I’m close with his family. The only thing that I can think is the amount of holidays there have been lately. He usually uses them as an excuse to get drunk.
This isn’t a big issue if you still have a healthy sex life. Sex is exhausting and people don’t always want to run 10k to have an orgasm.
Hello /u/lemonsquizzyy,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Pardon me but most of us are in serious relationships where we don’t need to dumb down to each other whether or not it’s okay to kiss other people on the lips. It has nothing to do with “self esteem” or “mistrust” . Its a thing called honoring and respecting your partner as the only special person who’s lips are the only ones that get to touch yours.
Worst case scenario: she was inappropriately kissing this guy, is afraid someone saw them so she’s trying to get ahead of the story
Forget somebody seeing them, somebody probably took a video considering it was the ball drop at exactly midnight. It wouldn't be the first time someone is caught cheating in the background of someone's video that got shared on-line.
I think that the consensus here is that you shouldn't have said what you said, but your husband is so horrible that it's understandable why you snapped like that, and you should definitely use this opportunity to move on.
This is the most direct and concise answer so far.
Try what happens if you go out when your wife has fever.
I mean…. Do you like sex? Do you want to have sex with your partner? Someone could be Brad Pitt and not be someone else’s sexual type. That’s just how life is. I think removing sexual attraction from a relationship only works if both people aren’t interested in sex (asexual). So, yeah, it’s weird that you could even have a relationship without an irl interaction. This dude could be nothing like he says he is. What’s more is it’s impractical to think you could “build sexual attraction” in the same way that other kinds of human connections are built. Either you are attracted to them, or you aren’t. And it’s no one’s “fault,” either way.
have her meet you outside of school… somewhere she feel safe.. somewhere you feel safe. sit her down.. talk to her.. tell her youre proud to be her friend and proud that shes come out and found herself sexually. explain that you are her friend, that you love her as a friend and that is all… tell her youre flattered that she'd think of you in that way but you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with a woman as you are attracted to men but that doesnt change the fact that you care for her. if she cant see that then shes never been your friend.. as for the others… they have not been your friend either as anyone who knows you should know that youre not some homophobic pos.
Hello /u/Still_Badger9840,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Both
If you have texts/messages just take it all to the police and press charges against every single one of them for harrassment. Especially the guy who hit you if it's on there and confirmed in writing or with a video since he assaulted you, plus make sure you name the teachers who confronted him so they have to explain why they did nothing. May as well get them involved just to ruin their day.
You indicate in the OP that you take responsibility for your actions, and want to improve and want advice.
However, in the comments, you seem hostile to advice, and balk at what you consider “judgment”.
I think you still regard these episodes as an aberration for which you are not ultimately responsible. The fact is, we are all the product of wrongs and traumas for which we were not entirely responsible, that nevertheless shape consequent volitional actions for which we are entirely responsible. It’s not fair. But the buck stops somewhere, so to speak. Part of taking responsibility is understanding that, no matter how unfair the circumstances were that led you to this point, you own your volitional actions. No one else can.
Hello /u/icegcet,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She won't listen to my words.
Damn so you and the cousin are just leeching off the boyfriend. Cousin is stabbing him in the back, and you’re just using him for his money. Break up and get a job. Jesus Christ.
Hello /u/Competitive_War4405,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I love dogs. Absolutely love them, and mine’s half-laying on my legs as I type this. With that as a preface: your husband’s dog needs to be euthanized.
Not because it’ll make you “even” or anything silly like that, but because it’s proven it can’t be trusted and will get violent with no provocation. You mention it took several minutes to get the dog and cat separated, so I suspect this dog is on the larger size. If that’s the case, how much damage could the dog do to you if it turned on you? What if it somehow did the same to the child of a neighbor, friend, family, or your own kids? Do you want that liability hanging over your head?
I personally wouldn’t stay in the same house as a large-ish dog with a history of unprovoked violent outbursts. Stay at your mothers and talk to your husband into seeing the light and the dog is euthanized, or he refuses in which case you file for divorce.
Yes it’ll absolutely suck for your husband. His fear of loss and the sadness behavioral euthanasia will bring are both understandable. His refusal to act on the new information he has is not.
If he can’t accept no is a gateway for other issues to arise, it also shows his true colors. This is not a good human if he’s reacting with open frustration to OP saying no to sex
Hello /u/Far-Manufacturer3067,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I suggest that you also demand automatic electronic deposits. I'm actually shocked that he is still getting a paper check. Especially since COVID, paper payroll checks are highly discouraged by most employers and banks.
Would something like family therapy help then?
And that’s fine! His actions were fine to you. You aren’t his ex, and maybe he needs a partner like you.
That also doesn’t make his gf the bad guy for leaving. And how long would’ve been better? 3 more months? 2 years?
His sisters has an appointment to begin things, this next appointment isn’t a placement.
She saw that this isn’t what she’s wants, so why waste her time and further frustrate the already hot situation by sticking around when she doesn’t want to be there????
Again, why must one suffer and put their wellness aside for partnership when the concession isn’t one they are willing to make??
You can sympathize with OP, while simultaneously acknowledging she shouldn’t hold herself hostage to appease others.. Both can be true.
He sounds like an absolute shit bag
Does he care for your other child at least
I'm sorry you're pregnant with another of his children.
Yeah break up with the creep before he ruins your life
Hello /u/throwawayloopyloop,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
i’ve dealt with sexual trauma in the past and have had sensitivity to physical touch but it’s so much worse now and i don’t know why. he’s not pressuring me to do anything but i guess i’m pressuring myself and feeling guilty that past issues are effecting him. bc of that pressure and guilt though, i feel like i don’t have the time to heal and really figure out what’s going on with myself. but i don’t know – im just not attracted to him anymore.
we’ve talked about finances and drinking many times but he doesn’t seem to think that he has a problem with either. i guess for him it’s not a problem but it is for me. we actually had a conversation about marriage recently and he was talking about proposing within the next few months which really threw me because i feel like it’s so clear to me that we’re not connecting the way we used to.
and immature in the sense that he uses not being in long term relationships before this as an excuse for when he does something that i don’t like. or running things by his parents/ “choosing” them over me when like ..you’re about to propose to me in three months? it feels like we’re kids dating. not knowing how much you need to have saved to start a life outside of your parents home.
…I guess why does it matter? Don’t reply if you don’t want to.
Hello /u/serati234,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Successful-Break-276,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You are not a good match and it is very tough to have an opinion other than he is not loving you (so much) to try to work it out. Someone very dear to me has 3 cats, 2 really oversized since they were moved in an apartment with no possibility to go out… Their SO learnt to on-line with the cats even if one of the cats is literally sleeping on his head, like a hat…
Incredible how someone can miss the point so profoundly
Unless you are asexual and not interested in sex this relationship is over. Just break up. Block her and move on.
P.s. She cheated, and somehow it's your fault? Not sure why you are still with her
Imagine what a chore that would be!
“May I sit next to you on the couch?”
“May I take your hand into mine?”
“May I release your hand?”
“May I put my arm around you?”
“May I put my head on your shoulder?”
“May I give you a peck on the lip?”
“Can I give you a kiss?”
“Can I take your hand again and kiss you a second time?”
“Can I take your other hand in my other hand?”
“Can I kiss your neck?”
and so on. Like holy shit, that would make any physical intimacy a god damn stress test and suck the romance out of the room about as fast as shitting the bed.
People are weird creatures and sometimes need space. It may not be you he’s ghosting since he isn’t talking with friends either. Just give him time and I hope you can get your things back.
Hello /u/Elegant_Fact4875,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/GoodDinosaur_,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
It's important that you actually talk to others about this relationship dynamic. You met this man at 18, you started dating at 21….it sounds like you might have normalised a lot of unhealthy behaviour.
At this point, I'd get some individual counseling, and analyse the relationship dynamic, see if there are more red flags you've ignored so far.
Wow just wow. Run please
You’re not doing anything wrong by breaking up with him. You’re being honest about your feelings, which is ok.
The wrong thing is leading him on and letting him believe you are as invested in him as he is in you. That’s just not being honest.
You should end it with him and be honest that you just don’t feel the same way he does. Nothing you can do about it. Let him find someone who is a better fit.
Hello /u/fabulousbread21,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
It’s a 3 year age gap, he’s turning 19 this month and I’m turning 22 this year in December
Have you asked her not to go? Why is she insisting on going? Why not just go with her, regardless of what the ex wants?
Don't get distracted by the “sunk cost” fallacy – i.e. “we've been together for almost a year so I should stay with her”. People change, relationships change, people do awful things. Most partners would never expect their SO to cheat on them, and yet a lot of people get cheated on. Cheaters don't usually have any problems with lying and deceit.
No matter how you bring up this subject, it's going to hurt her feelings. She may feel like you think she's gross but that's because what she is doing is, in fact, gross.
You can be delicate and broach the subject gently but she's going to be upset, no matter what.
INFO: Why do you want to date someone who broke up a marriage? Unless she was abusing him or something that's a pretty despicable thing to do.
Do you think asking these requests offhandedly would be better, or taking the time to sit down with her and ask in a more serious tone? Hope that makes sense. I def don’t want to sound like a jerk about it.
Lana was never going to change her skin color. So don't side with Kate.
Lana is cosplaying a fictional character, that per the show predates “the human world”. Lana is completely in the clear.
This is so dumb. He just wants validation for this dumb idea. You have every right to be confused because none of this makes sense and OP is kidding himself. Why on earth would OP even need closure on a 2 month relationship that ended 10 years ago? And then not tell his wife because reasons? So stupid.
To young to speak from personal Experience, however, having worked with older generations love is often companionship at that age. Yes romance/ sex and such is involved but 9/10 times it’a love with the reality that they will never be that 1 special love of your life type of lover. Good news is most of the people in that market are in the same boat.
Stay true to yourself and honest to future parties and it will all work out. I think it would be more challenging if you were to date significantly younger or someone who hasn’t experienced that “love of their life” yet.
Overall basic dating advice still stands. Know yourself , your needs and offering and find someone that is compatible with that.
Best of luck to you on your journey!
There are dating sites geared to your age group, if you're comfortable using on-line dating. It's fairly prevalent now. OurTime is one I know of. Worth a shot if you're not meeting anyone around you that you feel a connection with.
She wanted HER to find them. That’s why she left them.
Kate things an anime character can't be played by an Asian person? What?
What?
And a TAN is not blackface!
Is UV light now a racist tool?
To see if other Black people see darkening her skin as blackface. It’s not the character that “Kate” is offended about
She knows. You told her. She doesn’t care
It’s abuse
Leave
I don’t want to hear about faithfulness, love and marriage from ppl like you. I already saw your understandings of family, love and loyalty. Lmao
Sounds like something i'd have wrote on my LiveJournal when I was 12.
Only details that are important on that is its enough to get him mandatory time if convicted. These days with what ordinary drugs are laced with, one never really knows for sure what they’re trafficking. Coke dealers are sometimes unwittingly peddling fentanyl.
To recap:
He goes out of town and basically pretends you don't exist (never contacts you) Have you told him you feel neglected when he goes out of town for work? He prioritizes partying with his friends over seeing you Have you told him you want him to spend more time with you? He admittedly heavily flirts with other women Have you expressed your boundaries about interactions with other women? Did you tell him you consider this behavior disrespectful?
If the answer to the questions above is yes but his behavior hasn't changed, you should probably take some time to reflect on whether or not this relationship is worth your time. It sounds like he's not meeting your needs, doesn't respect your relationship boundaries and is not making you a priority in his life.
If the answer to the questions is no, you should talk to him about your relationship needs. Explain what he can do to make you feel happy and secure. You can't expect someone to do something you never asked for. If his behavior doesn't change at all after you talk, that proves he is not willing to make you a priority in his life. At that point, you should probably leave.
Thank you, I did! Was a flop
Tell her that you’re going to a party that your ex will be at and she’s not invited. See how that goes…
I have no idea, I’m just as confused
She's sexually assaulting you and raping you. Explain that to her, don't sugar coat it. And if she continues or tries to downplay it, then you know where you stand. Some people need the actually words used to realise what they're doing. At the same time though, someone who's okay doing this in any context isn't someone I personally would want to be with. So rather than try to talk to her about it when you already have, I would just leave.
how am I offended? it’s just dialogue about the subject and related matters. I’m just working through my thought process on the topic
Dear god, son – you're not even out of your teens.
Right now, judging on your post and your answers, your better looking than you think you are, not as smart as you think you are (and I say that with kindness, but your focus on quantitative data and rankings is naïve as all get out), lacking significantly in emotional maturity (see first sentence) and over-dramatizing to the nth degree.
Calm down. Enjoy life. Care for and love yourself. Grown as a person, mature as a human and breathe out.
My life was a clusterfuck at 19. Most people thought I'd end up single, broke, living on welfare and god knows what else (spoiler – my life rocks, I'm happily married to my BFF, and doing well above averagely well – it just took me a bit to get my shit together). 19 is a starting point, not a landing point. You need some perspective.
Dear god, son – you're not even out of your teens.
Right now, judging on your post and your answers, your better looking than you think you are, not as smart as you think you are (and I say that with kindness, but your focus on quantitative data and rankings is naïve as all get out), lacking significantly in emotional maturity (see first sentence) and over-dramatizing to the nth degree.
Calm down. Enjoy life. Care for and love yourself. Grown as a person, mature as a human and breathe out.
My life was a clusterfuck at 19. Most people thought I'd end up single, broke, living on welfare and god knows what else (spoiler – my life rocks, I'm happily married to my BFF, and doing well above averagely well – it just took me a bit to get my shit together). 19 is a starting point, not a landing point. You need some perspective.
I kinda hope he might change his mind and just accept the offer I made to pay for everything I took from him
Yeah cus drug dealers can have a change of heart when it comes to love lmao. Dude you robbed him! He’s probably plotting and scheming ways to get his revenge.
I just don’t want to get into…
Dude you’re in it already. Your best way of dealing with it is being honest and tell her about your past and explain to her that you turned your life around. She has to make the choice of staying with you or not.
My advice don’t stick around it’s not worth it. the brother is gonna find ways to ruin the relationship or worse.
Just show her this post, she needs to understand how much this hurts you. Her laughing after doing thise stuff gives me the creeps.
There's no such thing as an Open Relationship.
Honestly, no. Because the issue fundamentally remains one of trust. If you have so little trust in your partner that you need to check their phone, then you probably shouldn’t be with that person.
“do i die alone of old age” my guy you are 20
I would be happy to include her! Amy has said that she would rather it be just us, hence why I am here looking for advice.
Do you love your friend or not? Either you love her, and then you‘ll be happy for her for at least being financially secure after losing her mother at such a young age.
Or you’re jealous of something she would certainly not have chosen if she had had a choice. Then you are a bad friend. Put distance between you.
Go practise kindness. Volunteer with homeless people to learn to appreciate what you have, and find an extra kind thing to do every day. If you train your heart to be kind, there’s no room for jealousy.
What's the age gap got to do with it?
what is wrong with you? it’s totally normal for a toddler to want to sleep with their parents, and for parents to tell their kids they love them everyday.
If you are confused about his reaction, tell him you are confused and ask him to be clearer.
Consider the possibility that he is communicating clearly. Instead of assuming that he has lots of feelings that he isn't expressing or is expressing badly, maybe he acts like he doesn't care because he actually doesn't care.
I'm ao sorry about his friend. If he needs to cry it out, let him know that you'll be there for him.
Tell her. It doesn’t have to be some huge confession. Just a “there was some red flags and concerning behavior that I didn’t want to be involved with any longer. He might be a good friend but I don’t think he makes a great partner and I’m not comfortable spending time around him anymore.” If she pushes for more tell her that you’d rather not get into specifics. She can accept and respect that or think what she likes.
I don't think you have anything to apologize for. You didn't create this situation and this was dumped on you out of the blue. He chose to blame you. That's really crappy. Has there been infidelity in your relationship in the past?
As we grow, the relationship grows with us. What matters is always making sure you and your partner are comfortable communicating and sharing even uncomfortable thoughts. That's how you ensure that no one of you feels forced in any way. I understand the arrangement if you are away, it is indeed the easy solution so that none of you have to overthink about every little encounter.
Best wishes
I think that you will eventually be happier without him, even if you are alone and it is hot at first.
Well if it's something you've kept hidden from him like what's being alluded to in other comments he probably needed an outlet to vent too
I think feeling betrayed by this is focusing on the wrong thing personally but you know your situation better
Sounds like he handled it well based on the edit
Whats your max age range out of curiosity? And makes sense ig, im fine with dating 18-22 but I also want to have the option of age gap relationships, but guess thats more rare
Ohhh busted! Good find, lol!
Sounds like she’s been previously lashed out at by someone (OP or otherwise) and is walking on eggshells to try and avoid a blow up or problem.
And here is OP, making it a problem, anyway.
Ahhh yes the ole “trap my ex” tango.
Lemme guess she left you but really you left her and now she’s back and was the first to say “I ain’t had no diq”
She might plan to say she got it from you and guilt you in to staying in the relationship
You go forward simply, like this:
With you on one side of a locked door, and him completely out of your life.
He took scissors to your hair while you slept. Not only is that hella dangerous, it shows you that he doesn't respect you at all.
I seriously hope you reconsider your entire relationship.
You don't accidentally hit someone. Sounds like you need to leave.
Is this in the context of on-line dating?
Either way, yeah, some people, (and it's not just men) will search/focus younger… or in some cases, older.
If you're trying to gauge a specific individual's interest then best just to ask them. At the very least it's an answer to whether or not you're wasting any more time.
It’s good to check about that sort of thing, but now having read more comments on this post and your replies, I doubt it and would be surprised if things went that way. Based on your information, I have a guess about the picture forming. I’m jumping to a lot of conclusions but they’re based on what I read here and what feels right…
You may have been his girlfriend for legitimate reasons at the beginning, but you became his wife for free labor/citizenship reasons.
He’s cheating on you and depending on how long he’s been overly defensive of his phone, he might have been cheating since the beginning.
The baby was a good surprise in terms of his citizenship and for an unknown amount of time he’s known that as soon as you had the baby he was going to split. Before the baby, the relationship mutated from legitimate and love-based to a citizenship tool and he was probably planning on leaving you once his citizenship was confirmed. The baby is a strong tool in his citizenship battle though so once they were born he felt like he didn’t need to stay in the marriage to keep him anchored here.
He sounds actually legitimately narcissistic or histrionic. And emotionally abusive.
My heart just aches for you OP. I firmly believe your husband is actual evil, and he tricked you into thinking you were in a happy loving relationship for selfish personal gain. I would do whatever I have to in order to separate myself completely from him if I were you. And depending on if it would feel like justice, vengeance, or the right thing to do, I would report this and ensure he is denied citizenship. Because frankly, it’s bad enough that his home country is stuck with him as a citizen, you should warn your country about the monster trying to join its masses. I’m so glad you said you set up a therapy session, and hope you are able to easily set up many more, because you’re going to need all the therapy you can get to unpack the truth of this and process it. At least you can remove your little one from his influence before he has to remember him or be influenced by him.
From the bottom of my heart, best of luck.
Let her be dude. On-line your own life.
Exactly, he'll have this conversation with anyone who'll tolerate him long enough.
I think you guys need to move on. There were some weird things at the beginning but now you fully don’t trust her and this is becoming toxic!
Thank you, by the way.
He did it because he has something to hide. He said that to her so he could warn her you were listening. Red flag. Red flag. Red flag.
The fact that you had to be convinced is more problematic than you not finding extra partners, I think.
I’ve been where you are, went along with it because I loved them….but hooooo-boy, when I started getting attention, shit hit the fan. So, that’s one thing to look out for.
The biggest problem I’ve faced with poly is that almost no one knows how to do it right and most people seem to be under the impression that it’s just a way to have your cake and eat it too.
Focus more on how this arrangement is making you feel, rather than how successful you are in a situation you probably didn’t want to be in anyway.
There’s nothing wrong with being monogamous. There is everything wrong with being manipulated into situations you aren’t enthusiastic about.
You could try WhatsApp for anonymous messaging maybe? Although I don’t quite know how the app works well enough…
If he doesn’t support your goals, let him go.
Love, this is not a healthy relationship. There is no excuse for his gross behavior and total lack of empathy. Take the cats to a No-Kill shelter. Go to his house when he isnt home, and get your things. Im sure his family knows you, just say hello and that you forgot things in his room and really need them for school or whatever. Do NOT let your bf know.
I also suggest therapy to unpack this abusive relationship. You don’t have any healthy boundaries, nor seem to be able to distinguish what healthy boundaries are. You need to take care of yourself love, please leave asap.
Mismatched sex drives never really work out. I don't know how people stand a relationship like that, too young for starters.
Do you have a common name ? Or is it unique?
Have you asked him about it?
Oh fuck right off. Everybody is entitled to privacy you goon.
It depends on is he active on the app ? Could have been a remanent from before you. If he is active. Than it's clear he is either looking for a quick hookup or an upgrade.
I don’t know how it is in your country, but there are people (e.g. me) for whom Vday means nothing at all even if in a relationship. We feel it’s all capitalism at its best (worst) and not worth celebrating, or at least not worthier than any other day. That said you already brought the matter, he said he’d get you something and not to make a big deal, and you agreed. I think that’s settled and doesn’t require any more thought. Don’t text him about the convo and try your beat not to overthink it. If the subject freaked me out, going back to it would freak me out even more. You already stated your feelings about the day, which is good. No need to overthink it or overtext it. Try to keep enjoying this relationship you two have as long as it fulfills you.
Stop being childish. If you want him to leave you alone, block him. Quit with the games
If he wants to be an actor then you are likely to go through things like this a lot. Most actors don't make a steady paycheck. You need to ask him what he is thinking and how the two of you want to plan your future together. You need to know what he expects from you and what you expect from him. I would start there.
Jesus….. is your husband Joe and your name is Mary….
So he has no idea how a vagina works hey? You being “loose” means you’re aroused as that’s what the vagina does. He raped you and then told you it was your fault for not being tight enough? You need to leave. My petty self says stick a dildo up his ass and see how he likes being assaulted.
Go for it being poly is fantastic as long as there’s trust and communication my wife and I have been poly for 9 years now it’s brought our relationship closer together not to mention the friendships we have made with other enm people but the freedom to express and explore many of the kinks i have that she was not wanting or enjoying
I am sympathetic towards her autoimmune disorders of course. But her school isn’t even that much work. She churns out 15 page, A+ essays in 2-3hrs. If she was a CS or a STEM major, I’d honestly get her being too tired to do more around here because I know that’s hot work. But she reads books and writes. That’s it.
R/asoneafterinfidelity is the sub for people working though reconciliation due to adultery. They have resources.
Still speak to lawyer and have the write up divorce docs and post nuptial agreement with fidelity clause.
I guess I keep in touch because they were nice people and we have similar interests. Why not maintain friendships? As for letting my current partners- of course I do. But when it comes up, not like a secret revelation. Why wouldn’t I? I have loads of female friends and any partner of mine would need to accept that. And my wife does, she knows how I met my friends, even the ones who were exes, the ones I went on a couple of dates with but nothing ever happened, and the ones who were always just friends. We’ve been together over 11 years so things just come up over time.
Honestly, asking him to end a friendship is more of a you problem than a him problem. Why does this make you feel it’s weird?
Remember, she can do the same to you when you upset her.
Yeah, that’s probably the best idea
How would you feel if it was your husband having an affair?
I can't imagine things ending well at this point. Those are big lies, and a lot of them. Someone who is lying about all of this in the beginning is literally setting a trap. Maybe things aren't that bad, but you definitely need to be honest, like you want him to be. Say you did something you maybe shouldn't have in going through his phone, but found something huge. I don't lock my phone from my wife. It's not even snooping if she goes through it.
Love yourself more. You can be enough for yourself with out him. It will be a weight off your shoulders once you leave him for the last time
I think “cheating” is something you do, not something you are.
I do kinda love how everyone is dancing around the issue of her sister's behaviour actually being completely consistent with who she is. Christian, conservative, would love to be a cop, also is a terrible person who thinks she's smart and really isn't, and doesn't actually follow the word of God, because she thinks she's above it (but I'd bet you anything that she's extra harsh on others)
What advice do you want to hear? If you want to fuck your teacher then divorce your husband.
We’ve had virtual sex a couple of times
I am considering meeting up with Todd to finally do it in person.
vs
However, although me and my husband talk about sleeping with other people together
You're already cheating on your husband. Don't mince words or act like “My husband wants to do stuff with other people with me” is the same as “I'm having phone sex and I'm going to have real sex with some other dude behind my husbands back”.
I don’t know what to do, l know in my heart it wouldn’t mean anything other than just sex if I slept with Todd, but I feel guilty and I don’t know how my husband would react if I told him about it. Should I tell him?
If it was “nothing but sex” you wouldn't be sneaking around and PLANNING to cheat on your husband with this man. If it was an honest option? You wouldn't be hiding it.
Just cut out the middle man… stab your husband in the back, divorce him and sleep with some random dude because you don't respect your husband and don't love him.
If you loved your husband? you wouldn't be cheating on him.