Went through a similar scenario but different age 30.
But my sister’s overseas wedding was coming up.
My dad was texting me and the other woman and accidentally text messaged some love text. I confronted him about it because I thought it was coworker. I was wrong it was a lady from church.
So I had to tell my sister because I didn’t want to ruin her wedding on what she wanted. She said to hold off telling my mom.
I told my mom after the wedding when I went to pick her up from work.
My mom suspected something.
So my mom was going to hire a PI to get evidence but the private investigator said we might/might not catch him.
So my got a divorce lawyer and we moved out right before my mom confronted my dad as a family.
My dad wasn’t sorry… he was sorry he got caught.
My mom forgave him and took him back.
It was very stressful
*don’t blame yourself for your dad’s wrongdoing. Talk to your mom *
My mom did so much for my dad she would always spent her money on him. She paid for a trip back home.
While we were on that vacation I overheard my dad talking to some next chick on the phone.
I was really stressed. So was my mom.
My mom passed away on 2019 even though my dad was awful to her when she was healthy he was really there for when she got sick. He did the laundry, made dinner, and took care of my mom going to the bathroom.
My dad obviously regretted the way he treated my mom and now he’s lonely. He never got back with that lady.
Cut him off. Nobody should be sending a child something like that. Sure, your son will eventually look at it.. but on his own and in his own time. Let him discover for himself.
Though I will add that consuming p0rn at such a young age has been said to cause issues for that person when they are older. He may become addicted to it.
Hey you! You deleted your comment where you said if you were a cheater that your opinion on this is still valid.
Pretty sure that would completely invalidate your opinion. No one wants relationship advice from someone who fundamentally doesn’t understand them and violates them by being a cheater.
OP doesn’t “obviously” want to get back with his ex, he actually clearly says he doesn’t want to.
I feel sorry for you that you can’t comprehend the complexity of caring for someone but also knowing they would be an awful partner to you. OP has this situation figured out pretty well, he made the right choice to leave and didn’t give her any false hope.
If you’re deleting your comments, just delete all of them. They’re all garbage.
Oh c’mon, maybe it’s a bit weird but you will used to it. If your friend don’t want it than no problem. If he don’t mind than make this birds a chance, maybe your best friend will be your step father ?
The night that my now boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend, I had a panic attack once I got home. It was so immensely scary knowing that I was gonna have to be vulnerable around someone since I’d been independent and feared commitment for most of my life. I was so happy cause I liked him too but the first few months of the relationship were also so scary
Listen be careful with this woman. She has no integrity and probably now her next move is to seduce you and try to trap you with a baby. If you reject her than she will start a fight and get you arrested claiming assault. She has sociopathic tendencies. She has no morals whatsoever. People like this can’t love people. They can only use them.
I would move out tonight and stay with your brother, mother or cousin and if you are in a place where you have no relatives you should pay for a fucking hotel. Get the hell away from her. Trust me. This woman can take you to hell itself.
Being that you were so nice to move into a place with someone you barely knew you need to heed my warnings.
I wonder if he just didn't enjoy the trip for some reason and was done dating you, and the vulnerable conversation was just bad timing. Maybe he just isn't into you.
As a woman, I really just couldn’t imagine taking that frustration out on a terrified teenage girl. What I would do, though, is knock some damn sense into my 38 year old manchild, or just completely cut him off because goddamn he is so close to that line of pedophilia
You can keep hoping, but the likelihood he’ll change his extreme views are slim. If anything it will get worse. He’s not watching which you are aware. You are not with him 24/7. He’s most likely doing it when you are not around.
If you decide to stay, I know I wouldn’t, you need to make it abundantly clear you don’t agree with those views. They are disrespectful and degrading to you specifically. Don’t just make it a blanket all women, make it personal. Also, you will not accept being in a relationship with someone who holds those views. Because you will not be treated as less than your partner, you are equals and deserve the same respect. If he continues, you need to leave. Otherwise your threats are baseless and he won’t listen to your concerns as he’s not held accountable.
You haven't encouraged anything if it was meant to be all anonymous.
I would be very mad if someone would have done this to me. Sharing explicit images of someone without their permission is not legal you know. Even if it was agreed for reddit, it wasn't agreed for the coworker.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
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We have a phrase for girls like that: “high maintenance.” Dump her before she dumps you, as she seems ready to do. A word to the wise, don't spend so much, so early on in a relationship, as you are just raising the bar for what a GF expects/demands of you.
I've never really been able to understand posts like these. Your husband is your spouse and partner. Those are his kids and it's his house, too. So if he feels she's in your house too much, she's in your house too much. It's that simple. If half the household says it's too much then it is. 2 yeses, 1 no. Etc. You list all these things she does to “help,” but I see a list of parenting and bonding opportunities your husband could have with his kids if your mom would just respect their dad's wishes and leave him alone at night for family time. You're 34, babe. That's certainly old enough that you can adult without this much “help” from mommy- ESPECIALLY when you're lucky enough to have an involved coparent.
I am begging you, go get a job. Go back to school. You absolutely NEED the ability to support yourself. Do not get pregnant. Find a way to earn steady income.
Bruh. If he successfully seduces her, then that means she intentionally cheats. There’s not really a way around that.
She doesn’t have to drink or give into pressure. If he drugs her without her knowledge or doesn’t let up on pressure, then that’s rape and not seduction.
Accidental, unintentional cheating is not a thing if both people are clear and on the same page about what their relationship is.
Only time will help you heal. And mourning is a bitch. It’s like a cat, you will never know when it hits you or jump on you. Just give it time. And let you feel whatever you are feeling. If you want to cry, do it or if you want to talk about her, do it.
She cheated with the ex and another random guy weeks after they were exclusive. I'm also curious about the part where she says she “saw a guy twice” depending on the context of that it could still be cheating even if they didn't have sex. So we have a minimum of 2 instances of cheating possibly 3 depending on what seeing the guy means.
Lying to herself for 20 years to convince herself it was before they were exclusive doesn't make it not cheating.
In addition to this you have to weigh lying for 20 years into the betrayal.
Thank you for the feedback. I do give suggestions i just pick what they want to do. I will try to be more assertive
Went through a similar scenario but different age 30.
But my sister’s overseas wedding was coming up.
My dad was texting me and the other woman and accidentally text messaged some love text. I confronted him about it because I thought it was coworker. I was wrong it was a lady from church.
So I had to tell my sister because I didn’t want to ruin her wedding on what she wanted. She said to hold off telling my mom.
I told my mom after the wedding when I went to pick her up from work.
My mom suspected something.
So my mom was going to hire a PI to get evidence but the private investigator said we might/might not catch him.
So my got a divorce lawyer and we moved out right before my mom confronted my dad as a family.
My dad wasn’t sorry… he was sorry he got caught.
My mom forgave him and took him back.
It was very stressful
*don’t blame yourself for your dad’s wrongdoing. Talk to your mom *
My mom did so much for my dad she would always spent her money on him. She paid for a trip back home.
While we were on that vacation I overheard my dad talking to some next chick on the phone.
I was really stressed. So was my mom.
My mom passed away on 2019 even though my dad was awful to her when she was healthy he was really there for when she got sick. He did the laundry, made dinner, and took care of my mom going to the bathroom.
My dad obviously regretted the way he treated my mom and now he’s lonely. He never got back with that lady.
Cut him off. Nobody should be sending a child something like that. Sure, your son will eventually look at it.. but on his own and in his own time. Let him discover for himself.
Though I will add that consuming p0rn at such a young age has been said to cause issues for that person when they are older. He may become addicted to it.
It's not revenge porn if you send them back leave a nice message too
” sorry you left these in my husbands messages, Im just returning them.. “
It's quick to the point and there is no misunderstanding that you know then block!
Hey you! You deleted your comment where you said if you were a cheater that your opinion on this is still valid.
Pretty sure that would completely invalidate your opinion. No one wants relationship advice from someone who fundamentally doesn’t understand them and violates them by being a cheater.
OP doesn’t “obviously” want to get back with his ex, he actually clearly says he doesn’t want to.
I feel sorry for you that you can’t comprehend the complexity of caring for someone but also knowing they would be an awful partner to you. OP has this situation figured out pretty well, he made the right choice to leave and didn’t give her any false hope.
If you’re deleting your comments, just delete all of them. They’re all garbage.
I like this idea ??
Oh c’mon, maybe it’s a bit weird but you will used to it. If your friend don’t want it than no problem. If he don’t mind than make this birds a chance, maybe your best friend will be your step father ?
The thing is your depression and self esteem are fucking with you. It's going to fuck with every relationship in your life.
The night that my now boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend, I had a panic attack once I got home. It was so immensely scary knowing that I was gonna have to be vulnerable around someone since I’d been independent and feared commitment for most of my life. I was so happy cause I liked him too but the first few months of the relationship were also so scary
Listen be careful with this woman. She has no integrity and probably now her next move is to seduce you and try to trap you with a baby. If you reject her than she will start a fight and get you arrested claiming assault. She has sociopathic tendencies. She has no morals whatsoever. People like this can’t love people. They can only use them.
I would move out tonight and stay with your brother, mother or cousin and if you are in a place where you have no relatives you should pay for a fucking hotel. Get the hell away from her. Trust me. This woman can take you to hell itself.
Being that you were so nice to move into a place with someone you barely knew you need to heed my warnings.
You can respond thanking him for the best wishes!
i mean…… its way better than the reverse………
I wonder if he just didn't enjoy the trip for some reason and was done dating you, and the vulnerable conversation was just bad timing. Maybe he just isn't into you.
As a woman, I really just couldn’t imagine taking that frustration out on a terrified teenage girl. What I would do, though, is knock some damn sense into my 38 year old manchild, or just completely cut him off because goddamn he is so close to that line of pedophilia
You can keep hoping, but the likelihood he’ll change his extreme views are slim. If anything it will get worse. He’s not watching which you are aware. You are not with him 24/7. He’s most likely doing it when you are not around.
If you decide to stay, I know I wouldn’t, you need to make it abundantly clear you don’t agree with those views. They are disrespectful and degrading to you specifically. Don’t just make it a blanket all women, make it personal. Also, you will not accept being in a relationship with someone who holds those views. Because you will not be treated as less than your partner, you are equals and deserve the same respect. If he continues, you need to leave. Otherwise your threats are baseless and he won’t listen to your concerns as he’s not held accountable.
You haven't encouraged anything if it was meant to be all anonymous.
I would be very mad if someone would have done this to me. Sharing explicit images of someone without their permission is not legal you know. Even if it was agreed for reddit, it wasn't agreed for the coworker.
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So why do it at all then?
Nope
We have a phrase for girls like that: “high maintenance.” Dump her before she dumps you, as she seems ready to do. A word to the wise, don't spend so much, so early on in a relationship, as you are just raising the bar for what a GF expects/demands of you.
I've never really been able to understand posts like these. Your husband is your spouse and partner. Those are his kids and it's his house, too. So if he feels she's in your house too much, she's in your house too much. It's that simple. If half the household says it's too much then it is. 2 yeses, 1 no. Etc. You list all these things she does to “help,” but I see a list of parenting and bonding opportunities your husband could have with his kids if your mom would just respect their dad's wishes and leave him alone at night for family time. You're 34, babe. That's certainly old enough that you can adult without this much “help” from mommy- ESPECIALLY when you're lucky enough to have an involved coparent.
You need to stop and focus on yourself and your finances!!
Sorry, don't have money for takeout food. Keep some protein bars in the car and hand her one.
I am begging you, go get a job. Go back to school. You absolutely NEED the ability to support yourself. Do not get pregnant. Find a way to earn steady income.
There's a difference between saying “hey man, FYI we've slept together before” and “bro I was all up in that booty, making those cheeks clap!”.
Bruh. If he successfully seduces her, then that means she intentionally cheats. There’s not really a way around that.
She doesn’t have to drink or give into pressure. If he drugs her without her knowledge or doesn’t let up on pressure, then that’s rape and not seduction.
Accidental, unintentional cheating is not a thing if both people are clear and on the same page about what their relationship is.
Only time will help you heal. And mourning is a bitch. It’s like a cat, you will never know when it hits you or jump on you. Just give it time. And let you feel whatever you are feeling. If you want to cry, do it or if you want to talk about her, do it.
you are welcome..now just use the other piece of advice “have people wear protection” and the odds of this happening again will greatly decrease.
She cheated with the ex and another random guy weeks after they were exclusive. I'm also curious about the part where she says she “saw a guy twice” depending on the context of that it could still be cheating even if they didn't have sex. So we have a minimum of 2 instances of cheating possibly 3 depending on what seeing the guy means.
Lying to herself for 20 years to convince herself it was before they were exclusive doesn't make it not cheating.
In addition to this you have to weigh lying for 20 years into the betrayal.