Just read both posts, and dude you put up with way more bullying for a much longer period of time than I would have. I would have called out John's shit behavior immediately. The fact that you tolerated it for years makes me think that you're probably a good person, but that you need to learn healthy boundaries of what behaviors you are willing to accept in your partner and your partners friends and family.
She's just one person, and doesn't seem to be a very good one. You'll find someone better.
Just read both posts, and dude you put up with way more bullying for a much longer period of time than I would have. I would have called out John's shit behavior immediately. The fact that you tolerated it for years makes me think that you're probably a good person, but that you need to learn healthy boundaries of what behaviors you are willing to accept in your partner and your partners friends and family.