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Date: September 29, 2022
…… i hope you don't let your husband read through your messages 😐
You wife is abusive.
She was physically abusive with throwing and breaking things. She is was verbally abusive with the name calling and loud attacked. She was emotionally abusive by forcing you to live in a box where you can’t watch, or talk, or exist without being judged or abused.
Your wife has self esteem issues. That’s okay. But it is not okay to make you on-line a life where you can’t do anything without an interrogation.
I would also flag that your shared friends and family also already know about this. That’s the abusers trick. You have carefully held these cards tight, while she is looking for sympathy and blasts your failures public. If things go south, she will make them toxic, cutting you further off from all you love.
Counseling may help. But while you can change behavior, these are some deep seeded personality issues. I doubt that they would change, as she doesn’t see she’s doing anything wrong.
So, I would recommend you get an individual therapist who can help give perspective and support. And I think you affirming your boundaries and finding what you want in life is good. They can help with this.
If someone only loves you when you jump through their hoops, they don’t love you.
Good luck, mate.
Update: It's been a week since I posted this and I was able to build up the confidence to confront Joshua. It didn't go as badly as I thought, he didn't realize just how much of a burden he had been putting on me with all the housework. It may take some pushing but I think he'll start to do a more balanced share of the work around here. I did bring up couple's counseling/therapy and as suggested by people here I did try to push for non church affiliated counseling but that's something that Joshua couldn't accept. I'm at least glad he agreed to some form of counseling. I'm hopeful that things could turn around and I could love him more again. I do however think the few of you who suggested it may have been onto something when you said Jess may be into me. When I told her we were trying to work things out and go to couples therapy she gave me the most unenthusiastic “I'm so happy for you,” that I've ever heard. I thought Jess would be more happy for me and I was heartbroken that she wasn't. She also gave me a hug when leaving which isn't unusual but it was oddly long, like at least 30 seconds. It's not something I would have normally read into as I didn't think there was any possibility of someone I knew being like that but after the comments left here I realize that maybe there is a possibility. As for my thoughts on Jess after this, I'm not sure how I feel, I mean she's great and I adore her but I don't think these thoughts are romantic, especially now that I'm annoyed with her for having not been a supportive friend to me this week.