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OIL IN ASS [Multi Goal]
Date: December 17, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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He’s an ass.
This man is not for you. There's not one shred of compassion for you or willingness to understand and give you the grace you rightfully deserve to settle snd feel secure in this relationship.
You said no and he badgered you into giving in and that to me borders on being just the same as sexual assault.
Leave him.
There is no chance this is real.
Maybe you can find a game that you two can play on your phones against each other and sit on opposite sides of a door so you can still chat.
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This! Fuckin this!!! Amen!
You did your part. Your boyfriend should know his strengths and weaknesses. He should know that the objective was to get you another chance. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Just don't tell him his letter sucked.
That you know of*
Seems like she is using you as a punching bag for her other problems. Do you want to be a punching bag for other people's problems?
No, it's not acceptable and she doesn't really seem very regretful about it.
And no, she can't just demand a shy person to be more outgoing. That's not how it works.
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Seriously, no. There’s bread in my kitchen that has lasted longer than your relationship.
The way to recover from it is to dump him. I promise it won't get better, please get out before he causes you more pain.
The difference between sanity and insanity is doing the same thing, all over again, and expecting different results.
You know what you should do. You just want someone to tell you it's okay to go back a cheating ex who is trying to hoover you back into her life so she can trample all over you again
I'd look on her call as karma catching up to her. She cheated on you. Her SO cheated on her. I'd have asked her, “How's it feel?' and hung up the phone. But that's just me. I choose to not be a doormat.
Do I walk away?
There’s an entire Simpsons episode on this.
To be clear this is a relationship between two 30-year olds?
I don't think this person is ready for a relationship. That's extremely immature behaviour. He is basically pining after his ex-girlfriend while in the current relationship. That's a recipe for disaster.
I can appreciate your frustration since she wasn’t up front. But I think maybe you shouldn’t have invited yourself along on her vacation.
I can understand where you are coming from. Up until last year, I had a 72K student debt that I knew was going to be unfair for me to carry into any relationship, especially when it came to buying a house. I worked my ass off to pay it off which I was able to do by working my ass off and working my way up in my company and living frugially. I now feel like I won't burden or start off any future relationships on such a massive financial step back, all because of my poor decisions after I left highschool. Given my experience, when dating and looking for my person I do take into consideration how financially smart they are and how they have set themselves up. I think its a very important aspect of your future together. What I would take into consideration is her motivation, plan and effort she is putting into paying it off.
If you’ve been there plenty of times, what has changed now that he’s saying “no”?
If you want to keep the baby please do, don’t let anyone influence you. Your marriage is over. Being separated does not give permission to your husband to sleep with a close friend. You need to realize your marriage is over and be prepared to handle the baby alone incase your ONS(although it sounds like more than that now) changes his mind.
No. That's a toxic situation that you need to be out of and endometriosis doesn't cause any of those behaviors. Consider this a bullet dodged.
Yea and all this pressure on her is nuts. Her reasoning is absolutely legit – as a single parent with an ex who avoids responsibility, she is absolutely right to be concerned. Not to mention – OP parenting is extremely hot work, even if you have all the money to throw at it. From what you're saying about her – it seems like she does not trust that you will be an equal partner to her in parenting. Even if you've proved that you would somehow, she doesn't have to change her mind just because you changed yours.
Both can be true. He can buy one since it’s regular but for the early days sharing one isn’t a big a deal IMO. Odds are you had parts of him in your mouth.
It’s basically the end of the relationship. She showed her priorities and you are allowed to prioritize yourself.
Similar situation happened to me (my ex got married and I didn’t handle it well). From my perspective, it hurt because he took all the plans we had for marriage and copy pasted them with his now wife. It’s not that I still have feelings for him, but damn that shit still hurt the heart. He emotionally cheated on me, so there are a lot of feelings of “why was I not good enough?”. Stems from insecurities. Talk to her about it. I don’t think it is as sinister as you might think. Being with someone for that long of a time… there will always be some sort of connection, not romantic, but you will still have a level of care for them. And it sounds like this relationship ended only 3 years ago if I am doing my math right?
What a revelation! It's almost like people are complex and experience different emotions under similar circumstances.
You should visit your parents alone and let them remain behind. You will have some space from him and your daughter can safely attend the sleepover.
You can't go on and on and on about how much you love your wife and then tell us you cheated on her. If you REALLY loved your wife, you wouldn't have cheated on her.
Tell her ASAP so she can do the right thing and leave you, like you deserve.
I’m sorry to hear you went through this. It takes a lot of strength to get where you are. Not everyone can manage the journey. I hope this helps OP decide.
When I try to discuss she cuts me off and says I'm not meeting her need for personal time
Op, it’s great that you’re communicating with her, as communication is key in any healthy relationship
But the fact that you said “she refuses to listen.” And “she got so incredibly cold anytime I tentatively brought it up” is incredibly concerning
This shows that she quite literally doesn’t respect your opinion on this enough to listen to you….
She is unilaterally deciding which sports you can and cannot play, and she doesn’t care how that makes you feel.
This isn’t just controlling behaviour, it’s a narcissistic mannerism, which means that this isn’t a one-time incident.
I’m going to keep my comment short and end it with this, Op, if she doesn’t change her behaviour, you won’t have a happy marriage with her
Or he’s both extremely insecure about his penis size and doesn’t understand how a woman’s body works.
and when my wife and I were first dating (19/21) she did really sweet things like sending me letters or postcards when she traveled. She would shoot me a text randomly throughout the day, giving me a compliment.
and most importantly to me, she wouldn’t make me choose where to eat all the time. She would make suggestions along with me ?
It has nothing to do with how you “pick” women and everything to do with how you talk about women.
You seem to think the only thing a woman care about is dick size and not his personality, attitude and how he treats others. You think all women should worship your dick.
You could ask questions before making assumptions. As I said in a previous comment, S was the main person speaking and having issues. A only followed along and made a face with her, as well as she didn’t speak up when she could have. When we got back to S’s house, A went home but I had to grab my purse from inside which is why only S and I talked.
Thank you for this!! I’m definitely going to use a version of this
or has any advice
Buddy, you know what to do.It might be a little scary, especially after you've been with this person for so long, making such a huge change in your life, the conversation will be rough but at the end of the day, it all boils down to this.
You don't deserve that, nobody should go into an argument, no matter the magnitude, thinking “I better hold back so I don't get spat on” so kick that disgrace to the curb pronto!
My favorite is “And your brain is obviously underweight, but commenting on that would impolite”
This is fake. It must be.
Such a vague and stupid event. Nobody would be this dumb because they want to make a point.
Also, she's not exact going to gouge out her boyfriends eyes.
First I would take my key back and then lose the girlfriend… that she doesn’t get she did wrong is enough for me…
Thank you, I appreciate it lol I’ll have to think for awhile but I’m going to do my best. It’s a really scary thing tbh
So he has serious mental issues and refuses help, run now!
Do they know how frustrated you are by their overindulgence in using TikTok?
I agree. She told him she didn't regret it but was worried he'd judge her, and now that he's found out and is upset, she's mad that he's “judging” her.
Some people are okay with it. Some people are not. She doesn't get to decide OP's morals then or now. It's also troubling she was worried about it before but now won't talk about it. It's almost like she feels like he's trapped or “locked in” now that they're married. Then there's the lying on top of that.
I'd be very upset if I found out about my husband doing porn before and not having told me. It'd be a marriage ender for me as a woman. I don't think this is a gendered issue, and I have no idea why anyone is sticking up for this lying spouse.
Got it!
I think this is the best route to take. Be easy about it, keep it simple and read the room.
Thank you for your help.
Thank you. Take it didn't work out for him / them then? Did she continue cheating?
She's being a child. You already apologized and got her some gifts and a nice day planned. if she wants to continue to be pissy about it and ruin her own birthday that's her fault not yours
Your definition of healthy is subjective. What works for me will work for me and what works for you will work for you.
I like being the alpha, breadwinner, and man of the house.
Seems that women have significantly more rights than men already. What’s the need for feminism if women already have wildly unbalanced amount of power?
this right here means he's not a good boyfriend.
Ad, your GF's abusive behaviors cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no chance to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If it is an issue for your GF, you likely would be seeing 4 other red flags.
The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, she started showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or tried to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? She would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her. Moreover, she usually would hate being alone by herself.
Second, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes/mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to “validate” her victim status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Third, you generally would not see her directing her anger at casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be directed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, a sibling, or her parents).
Fourth, you are convinced that she truly loves you. But you frequently see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around her. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. A few hours or days later, she can flip back just as quickly.
Ad, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?
Let’s say you married him. He can’t afford you or any kids you might want as at least half his paycheck will go To these kids. Want a house? He can’t help. A new car? He can’t help. Vacations? Nope. He’s lied. Now he brings massive baggage. Is this what you want.
Honestly, I think the best thing to do is talk to your friend. The difficult part will be making sure it doesn’t seem like an attack or an accusation – I’d be as gentle as possible and let her know the only reason you have any issue at all with her boyfriend is because you love her so much. Remind her you’re there for her and will always support her. Explain that celebrating without her would break your heart, but celebrating with someone who treats her poorly feels inauthentic and unfair TO HER! She’s got to see where you’re coming from. Hopefully you two can come to an understanding and Asshole Supreme will stay home. Best of luck to you both and congratulations ♥️
I would not spend time with the father. And if you have kids keep them far away.
Harsh. But yes, he was in an awful situation, most likely the toxic girl poisoning them all against you, but not a situation likely to improve.
If he chose you, he would lose everyone he knows, and would resent you for it.
Nothing here is fair on him. He could not defend you without the bullying on him getting worse. And because he shared his woes to you, he lost you.
Not much support there, but not sure what either of you could do.
Fear of judgement from others
I know who I am and how hot I worked to be a better person everyday.