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Date: November 23, 2022
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I think your boyfriend needs “ to get out more”. It appears he also hasn’t had conversations with women who are not interested him from a relationship angle.
STEM is historically VERY gendered. However the women in STEM careers, tend to have very clear ideas about their contemporaries abilities & after the age of 35+ tend NOT to “ be backward in coming forward”. This age is decreasing as each new year of graduate entrants arrive.
Hopefully he will learn this quickly or he will be “educated” by his peers.
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He's using the language of reason to ask you for something unreasonable. It's not reasonable to restrict your partner from going where they want to go. Setting a boundary looks “I expect honesty and fidelity, wherever you decide to go” not “you can only go where I say or I'll leave this relationship”.
He doesn't want to be your lab rat. You pushing this on him shows how little you respect and care for him. Not the other way around. Leave him alone and apologize to him.