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TOY CONTROL DAY , ♥ ANAL TAIL PLYG [165 tokens remaining]
Date: October 28, 2022
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Do you have a history of forgetting special events/dates? I guess, as a partner, I wouldn't enjoy the stupid game she is playing. Why didn't she say happy anniversary to you in the morning? Why was it your responsibility to be the first one to say it? Instead of shooting you some love and happiness in a difficult time, she turned this into some kind of a fight for no reason.
Honestly, I would communicate with her that I don't appreciate being “tested” like that, and ask her why she felt the need to do that while you were in a difficult situation, when clearly she was thinking about it all day.
Personally, I would calmly and clearly communicate that, and I would not apologize. It sounds a bit manipulative, and if this is the first time, I would push back to nip this in the bud, if it's a pattern, I would consider re evaluating being okay with being treated like that.
He should've thought about exploring his sexuality before getting married??? Just because someone came out as bi, it doesn't give them an excuse to f*ck around and find out, that should've been dealt with waaaay before settling down with someone to avoid this exact scenario. Once an individual decided to get married & start a family, things are not about them anymore, it's going to be about the family and what's best for each and everyone in that family unit. Do you think this will bring positive out comes to your life and your children's lives? if yes, in what what way? if not, then you might want to rethink your marriage.
The thing is, you don’t have to stop loving him in order to leave. I think you’re waiting for a point where you feel “ready”, like you can walk away from him without too much pain. But a deeply codependent abusive relationship like this is NEVER going to end without pain. So you have to let go of that idea – this was always going to hurt. It was always going to feel impossible and unbearable, because that’s what the good parts of your relationship exist for. They’re the carrot he dangles in front of you to keep you around, to make you feel like there is something worth staying for. They’re not real; they only exist because they’re what allows him to keep abusing you and your children while feeling confident that you’ll never walk away.
Look, you’re a mother – I am too. How often do we say, I’d do anything for my kids? I’d kill for them, die for them, tolerate anything if it meant keeping them safe. Well if you really feel that way about them, if you really would do anything to protect them – LEAVE. If you love them as I believe you do, then you have to be the grown up here and make the difficult, painful choice that ultimately keeps them safe. You have to give up the thing you want – the husband you keep convincing yourself you can have – in order to save your children. There is no version of this where you get to hold on to your relationship and also take proper care of your kids.
Part of being a good parent means making difficult choices on behalf of our kids. It means doing shitty, frightening, sometimes seemingly impossible things in order to give them the life they deserve. How many people have you seen on Reddit saying they had an abusive parent or step parent, and how they wished their other parent had found the courage to end the relationship and protect their kids instead of trying to make things work? Because God knows I’ve seen my fair share. And I’ve never once seen anyone talk about how glad they were that their mum stuck it out and kept getting beaten up by their dad, because the good times were so great and at least they all got to online under one roof. Again, I don’t mean to sound cruel – but if you stay, you are putting your own fantasy of a loving husband over the cold reality of your children growing up in domestic violence. You are choosing him over them. And I know that isn’t what you want.
Also while it might not feel like it, you DO have power here. I know you probably don’t feel that way because abuse victims rarely do – but you have a level of choice and agency that your kids simply do not have. They’re helpless infants who are relying on you to keep them safe. That feeling you have where you wish someone would come and take you away and make it all stop hurting? I guarantee your son has that feeling too. He just doesn’t have the words to express it. And YOU are that person who can make life better for him – nobody is coming to save you, but you can save your kids. You don’t need someone else to do the leaving for you; you just need to tap into that part of yourself that loves your kids more than anything, and get them out. Because otherwise what will it take? Will you wait until he beats your son? Until he shakes your baby in a fit of rage and kills them? If you stay you can’t possibly guarantee that these things won’t happen.
You’re strong enough to do this. You just have to accept that it will hurt you, and that you will have to let go of something you’ve been clinging to for years. But painful doesn’t mean impossible.
This really got to me. Thank you
Ah good! I thought there were red flags being ignored but yeah invite him to yours if you're still wanting to… if he's a virgin… it happens and just needs teaching. It sounds like he's putting an awful lot of pressure on himself to lose his virginity.