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Room for on-line sex video chat Elza01
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Date: October 9, 2022
Flowers and a bottle of bubbly to drink together and celebrate!
You’re not going to convince him otherwise. This is something he has to decide on his own, and as you said, time is not on your side. It’s probably why people are pushing the whole divorce thing. His concerns are valid too- children change literally every aspect of your life, for years. Your relationship included. You don’t want to coerce him into this and then have him resent you or the child.
You have to decide if your love for him is greater than your desire to have children.
Sure.
But is this because you know you come home to a clean and welcoming house? You know your pets are taken care of, the bills are paid, the errands are finished? Are your clothes cleaned? Are the bed sheets fresh? The fridge is full?
Do you know what you have?
Right on, yeah, I appreciate that. I have a hesitancy to assume that because one person operated in one way (i.e. predatory and unable to maintain relationships with those their own age), others will do the same, and tend to look for the good in people. But I think you are right. If something feels off and fits in with a larger pattern of behavior, time to just face the (myriad) facts and move on.
Because OP is choosing to use her instead of what he knows he should do. That is why. She didn’t have sex with him without his consent.
Nothing you can do will change her mind.
Don't dwell on it and waste time moving on to someone that actually cares about you.
Are you ok to be with someone that doesn’t have the same values as you ?
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love how half of these replies are actual serious replies to the situation and the other half are smell-based. well done, all
He’s a predator.
Leave, as you should have never dated him to begin with.
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He stayed a decade more with her, hopefully both grew up, but indeed he could leave. In any case, given how he currently only views her as a co-worker falling behind on her tasks, the relationship is pretty much over unless he does something about it to make her do something about it.
I think you’re probably bisexual. Please make sure to inform any potential female partners beforehand to make sure they are comfortable with it. Male partners too I guess. Just be open about it. Some women will be okay with it, some won’t.
So she only ended it once she discovered he was cheating on her? I cannot believe you fell for this. She's not a victim – she's a cheat. And one whom had her boss fired once she was found out.
Just text to plan stuff and concis when she’s into it imo that’s how do it. Maybe go with phone calls if need be
Why does everyone seem to think being a furry is sexual? What about all the kids who are furries? That’s gross to insinuate minors are being overtly sexual
Is she happy with you doing the same knowing you are lonely and may catch feelings….this all sounds incredibly manipulative
I have no idea who either of you are, so this is just a gut reaction to what you read. But I strongly suspect he's cheating, and yes, the other woman might be pregnant. I'm sure you've already been told the age gap is a MASSIVE part of the problem, so I won't belabor it. But he's absolutely priming the pump by blaming you “if” he has an affair. It's a done deal already, I'd bet money.
I hope you take some time to yourself after the divorce, to work on yourself and decide what you really want in your next relationship(s). Because this guy … he's nowheresville.
I've recently stopped. Even been taking days off work to actively stop physically investing and to take care of myself. He hates when I take time off. Anytime he wants something now he has to earn it himself. I used to give him everything because he promised he would support me in every way, but I quickly found out that wasn't true. We don't even celebrate my birthday unless one of his friends wants to tag along, otherwise I just get a happy birthday and where do you wanna eat? It's just a normal day. Nothing special about it. Some years he completely forgot which is funny as his daughter and I share a birthday month. I think I'm at the point of no return. Not that I can't leave, but that I can't find anything to stay for.
UpdateMe!
Yeah because this sub is mostly women. Lol
Your boyfriend's a punk-ass clown.
“He would rather rub his dick on a cheese grater than use a condom”?
Seriously? As a certified dick-haver that's just so stupidly asinine it defies belief. It's true that the worst sex I ever had I was wearing a condom but it was still fucking amazing because holy shit a condom doesn't make it that much worse and JFC your boyfriend is a pathetic tool.
And always remember: he doesn't get to decide whether or not he goes raw inside you. That's your decision to make.
Either he wants a space without his gf to the extreme, or he's flirting or doing something you would get mad at. Either one is possible. But he's made his decision that you aren't welcome. So now it's up to you on where to go from here.
So, he’s already told you he has no issue with violating the rules of their relationship and having extra sleepovers without consent. Even if the rest of his story is true, he’s a cheater for this alone and he’s a trash partner. He has no respect for his agreements. My crystal ball however says his wife is not aware of their open relationship at all. Let me guess… you’ve never seen his wife, most of your hangouts are on weekdays and during the day, and hardly ever weekends? Tell him you’d love to stop by his house to pick him up for your next date and meet his wife.
How would she feel if you said you fancied other geezers and wanted to have gay sex elsewhere? Direct comparison
Easy come easy go. But the no guy friend thing is a bit too controlling. Be with someone that wont cheat on you even if she has guy friends.
I wouldn't give up my animals for anyone, ever. I also think it's really early to be talking about moving in, given that there's a child involved. Wait until you're well past the honeymoon phase to see if you're still stable before you let the kid get too attached.
Yeah don't sleep or have a kid with a cheater. I'm sorry but there is no fixing this. Definitely a deal breaker imo
She might appreciate when he cheats because he spends less time with her.
Why are your answers the same as the dude from 4 months ago too. This feels fake as shit
Pretty much every guy my age has been with more girls than me. But I don't care. Because the past is the past. And they wouldn't be with me if they didn't want to be. She obviously thinks you're a great person if she's spent a couple of months with you. This is an insecurity on your part — she doesn't see you like this. This is in YOUR head.
And therapy isn't for weak people. It's for people to face their challenges in life. And it's worth the time and work you put into it. I'd recommend it to anybody. Especially somebody who's facing the absurd insecurities that you are.
Pretty much every guy my age has been with more girls than me. But I don't care. Because the past is the past. And they wouldn't be with me if they didn't want to be. She obviously thinks you're a great person if she's spent a couple of months with you. This is an insecurity on your part — she doesn't see you like this. This is in YOUR head.
And therapy isn't for weak people. It's for people to face their challenges in life. And it's worth the time and work you put into it. I'd recommend it to anybody. Especially somebody who's facing the absurd insecurities that you are.
Yes exactly. She should be with someone who does not desire sex. That's exactly what I was trying to say, while I probably didn't word it as clearly as I thought I was. He deserves someone who wants the same things, as does she.
He was taking it because he liked that it regulated his blood flow… but probably mostly because it made him rock hot instantly. We were having a lot of sex when we first met and I didn’t know he was taking it everyday. I think he just stopped buying it, maybe it was getting expensive. He said he doesn’t jerk off or watch porn in relationships… but those are words lol. He has been under financial stress so maybe that’s the culprit along with the fact that it keeps happening so then he feels even more pressured
DO NOT GET MARRIED. These issues will only worsen with marriage, not improve. You have two options: tell him these behaviors have to improve or you won't marry him or break things off. I personally think ultimatums don't tend to pan out, but you could give him the chance. It's always possible that his behavior changes for awhile and he slips right back into it after marriage. If you break up with him, you will probably have to live! very uncomfortably for awhile with him until you can both move out.
I understand that, but you really do deserve better. Based on what you just said, I wonder if the money is why she's with you. Does she work, pay her own bills or contribute to shared bills, does she put money into you, abd the relationship? If the answer is no to these questions, she was only really with you for the money.
You have to have that in the air. It probably eating her mind especially if wedding is closing by.
What I would do is to sit her up and tell her that it came to your attention that she might have done some porn in the past. You don't need all the details and you are pretty cool with it because that's in the past, only to make sure that she doesn't have trauma linked to that period or from keeping it secret. You also explain that now that you are getting married it's not a her problem but a couple's hiccup and you want to know how she want it to be dealt with in case it pops up to the surface again.
No his porn addiction caused him to masterbate everyday, gave him ED, no feel, and pedophilic tastes.
But yea you do that lmfaoo, listen to your own “anecdotes”
You need to do 2 things
Make your wife tell the guys GF – lie to her if you have to and tell her that it is the only way she can start to rebuild the trust she destroyed.
And file for divorce.
Your wife broke the trust in the marriage, and has failed on every turn to start rebuilding it.
Do the divorce NOW, but do not serve the papers until she has told the GF.
You should also make sure the whole friendship group knows.
And as they are work colleagues – talk to her company and ask about personal relationships between staff, and also conflict of interest policies.
While there is unlikely to have a policy about relationships between employees (not many in NZ do) they will have conflict of interest policies, and their relationship as soon as it moved from friends to emotional cheating became a conflict of interest – unlikely to get either of them fired, but it will cause issues for them going forward.
And yes it is cheating, as soon as they confessed their feelings and said they were close to kissing, it went from close friends to cheating.
Get some therapy!
If your child is abused, would you tell them it is fine because they agreed with it?
Awe! I’m so glad to help.
Yeah it’s hot because at first it’s like someone hears it and puts it all on your shoulders. I did the same thing, went to the gym we’re talking 2.5-3 hours a day, new haircuts, new clothes, religiously looked up sex tricks like my life depended on it. I mean I tried literally everything.
But when you talk about your man not wanting you, people usually say ‘maybe you’re not…’ or ‘he’s cheating’ when this usually happens in long term relationships because 1. Gay, or 2. Erectile distinction issues being a huge blow to the ego.
Then you feel like the villain for being brushed off, and you feel like you’re not good enough and the internet gives you beauty advice blah blah blah.
Point is, he’s spending an hour and a half in the bathroom alone after work.
It’s not you. I promise. It’s not you. An hour and a half in the bathroom after work? Who even realistically has time for that?
No, you’re not boring. A loving woman will do any amount of freaky shit to keep her husband interested if she really wants his attention. And I mean everything.
If it’s not working, it’s not you. Because if it was you, then he would be upset about not getting sex for whatever reason rather than keeping sex from you.
Think about it, every woman has that one chick friend who is upset her man told her she’s getting fat and he’s not attracted to her anymore. THAT is what you hear when it’s you.
But hiding it? Being sneaky? Hour and a half in the bathroom?
The ex I told you about had a habit of 2-3 am, on the computer, and if I went to the kitchen for a glass of water suddenly he’s locking his computer and turning off the monitor.
That’s when it’s not you. He’s not meeting up with anyone or he would be out with coworkers every Friday for an hour and a half and not in the bathroom.
So if nothing works then you need to talk to him about opening your relationship or discuss if it can be fixed for real, or leaving. It’s not your fault. It is ok.
It's not amazing if you don't trust her. You CANNOT be in a serious, long term relationship with a person you don't trust.
That he will get over it but it will take time
He may learn to look okay to you, but this is something that will be in the back of his mind forever. He was a sugar daddy to you for a while.
I believe what you say is partially true, but not completely. While I would not expect a victim to re-live trauma they cannot handle, I do think if they feel they are somewhat able to manage the risks for themselves, I think it is best they do as much as they can to warn other potential victims. But I do realize not every victim can do this, and I know it's not fair to demand someone endanger themselves beyond what they feel is reasonable.
I believe what you say is partially true, but not completely. While I would not expect a victim to re-live trauma they cannot handle, I do think if they feel they are somewhat able to manage the risks for themselves, I think it is best they do as much as they can to warn other potential victims. But I do realize not every victim can do this, and I know it's not fair to demand someone endanger themselves beyond what they feel is reasonable.
I believe what you say is partially true, but not completely. While I would not expect a victim to re-live trauma they cannot handle, I do think if they feel they are somewhat able to manage the risks for themselves, I think it is best they do as much as they can to warn other potential victims. But I do realize not every victim can do this, and I know it's not fair to demand someone endanger themselves beyond what they feel is reasonable.
Her trying to isolate him from a rational outside perspective is a classic when it comes to abusers. It makes him easier to control if there isn't anyone else to challenge all the gaslighting etc. Basically the same you see with cults and how they isolate their members from family and friends.
He sounds like he is trauma bonded to her which is something that can happen between victim and abuser. I recommend reading up on that to better understand why he is putting up with being treated so poorly. As others have said then you will unlikely be able to make him see reason but you can be supportive still and be ready to help pick him up when the relationship will inevitably fall apart.
You asked this yesterday. Why you posting it again?