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Date: October 10, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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I had a really great therapist who said my sleeping around a lot as a response to trauma was morally neutral.
There’s nothing inherently bad about having a lot of partners. Just because you did it in response to trauma doesn’t make it bad either.
He’s being shitty and judgy and racist. Dump him and stop blaming yourself. Go have sex with more people if you want to or be on your own for a bit. Just do it because you want to. It’s the only reason you ever need and anyone who makes you feel like you need justify it, isn’t worth your precious time.
I want to believe his reasoning But at the same time feels like something’s still off. It was his behavior that made you question infidelity! Id investigate deeper but If you believe him then I’d let it go.
From your comments below:
I didn't tolerate it. I spoke to him I just don't understand. I feel embarrassed. I dont know if its my looks or my personality or something else
OP- do you even see how you are thinking about yourself in response to gross disrespect from your husband?
Rather than realize- my husband is disrespecting me, he's pursuing a form of intimacy with his ex and pretending I don't exist, he's acting a bit like a high school mean girl… You are listing all the things wrong with yourself to be disinvited, thereby indicating some part of you believes you deserve to be treated like this.
This isn't about you not being good enough in any sense, it's about your husband treating you like an afterthought and with disrespect. Instead of viewing him as possibly cheating, lying to you, and/or being a dick why are you focused on how if you were different it wouldn't have happened??? He's the one who should be different!!
Question: does your husband pick on you, cut you down in small ways, or compare you to & make you feel less than others? Or, are you with him because you already had very low self-esteem and believe you deserve to be treated like this??
Friend- think and want better for yourself. You aren't in the schoolyard waiting to be picked for kickball & found wanting, you're married–– to an ass!