At what point would you stop eating a delicious cake riddled with rat poison?
I totally understand that you love this person and believe that you can somehow hold onto the good stuff by being an absolute pushover re: cheating.
Problem is you haven't resolved anything re: that cheating and I don't see how this person can possibly on any planet conceive how its OK to still be texting this person an hiding it. It's obvious they aren't a trustworthy person and here's the thing…
Sooner or later that cheating and lack of trust will destroy the love and good things you think you have in this relationship just as completely as actually ending the relationship and you will feel like more the fool.
You're already embarrassed to consider marrying this person and even being in public with them, how much lower do you want to drag yourself.
While there may be some reading into behaviors and insecurity on your part, he messed up.
Instead of talking about how you were feeling and what he did to contribute to it, he just shamed you and defended himself.
If it was a male friend, the way he treated you would still have been hurtful to anyone. That it is a female friend he lived with for 10 years would make any GF feel even more uncomfortable.
I wouldn't say move on or stay, it depends on how you move forward from this point. Are you able to continue to talk about what happened and how to move forward?
How is it faster to explain this multiple times to multiple people than it is to give more than zero information in your actual post?
I admit I could be isolating myself, so maybe that is how they feel. Thanks for that perspective!
WP is Wayward Partner (ie the one that cheated), and R is indeed reconcile.
At what point would you stop eating a delicious cake riddled with rat poison?
I totally understand that you love this person and believe that you can somehow hold onto the good stuff by being an absolute pushover re: cheating.
Problem is you haven't resolved anything re: that cheating and I don't see how this person can possibly on any planet conceive how its OK to still be texting this person an hiding it. It's obvious they aren't a trustworthy person and here's the thing…
Sooner or later that cheating and lack of trust will destroy the love and good things you think you have in this relationship just as completely as actually ending the relationship and you will feel like more the fool.
You're already embarrassed to consider marrying this person and even being in public with them, how much lower do you want to drag yourself.
While there may be some reading into behaviors and insecurity on your part, he messed up.
Instead of talking about how you were feeling and what he did to contribute to it, he just shamed you and defended himself.
If it was a male friend, the way he treated you would still have been hurtful to anyone. That it is a female friend he lived with for 10 years would make any GF feel even more uncomfortable.
I wouldn't say move on or stay, it depends on how you move forward from this point. Are you able to continue to talk about what happened and how to move forward?