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Date: October 25, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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No present is worth opening a door to more abuse
No, she is empathetic, not an empath.
Hopefully it’s the latter.. ?
hey but in the beginning u told me to move on what happened lol
Don’t get involved with coworkers. It’s an HR nightmare. Morally, don’t get involved with married people. Do you have any sort of authority over this woman professionally?
Tis is not a good way to get the attention and validation you seem to be seeking.
you're 19, you're going to be attracted to other people, it's natural. whether you choose to act on it is up to you. please discuss things with her and don't cheat.
You need to sit down and talk. There's a severe lack in communication here. Like, my bf doesn't do it often, but it's a textural/sensory thing for him. We had to talk about it and now I understand it more.
If you can't communicate openly with your partner, you shouldn't be having sex with them.
Just search leg wrap hug on google or something
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I hope to God no one flushes anything besides tp in my septic system. That goes for female products as well. You know someone has to then go get that out of the filter?
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What is your malfunction lol. Guys just being playful. So he’s not flirting. What is your next move then
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He’s immature and selfish. He doesn’t sound like he is old enough to be dating as he just sees you as a bro that he lives with and has sex with. He doesn’t see you as important in his life.
Did you move 4000 miles away to be with him? If so I’d be reassessing if this was the best thing to do as you’re now isolated and dependent on him for company which is unhealthy.
Thank you for being honest with me.
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She is a dangerous psycho. Really nothing else tk he said. The issues in your marriage are way bigger than your being treated like kept man and her destroying your personal property.
Sure he's allowed to break up for any reason, but that doesn't mean it isn't a dick move to disappear and make someone worry
I want to break up and have said so many times, but he wont leave my moms house
In which case, view this as your escape. Tell him hes screwed you over and you refuse to be treat like that.
In my opinion this is his way of breaking up eith you without the confrontation of actually saying it. So cut your losses and move on.
Even if I got married at 30, this would still happen because I'm human. And I know I CHOSE to get married young. You don't have to be a bitch about it
You're giving him WAY too much benefit of the doubt. He made it doubly clear has intent was spiteful and malicious towards her.
That's a solid take too. Also, him knowing her history, I would think he would be a little more understanding, but logic and emotion don't always line up. If I were in her shoes, I would “die on that hill”, because you can care for someone, have a happy relationship, AND make sure that never happens again, within your reasonable control.
You can only discuss your wrongdoings if you want to become better or admit them.
Don't expect her to admit that she was a horrible person to you, specially if she told you that she's not interested in knowing that. Respect her for once by listening and dropping the subject!
The naked truth I that you’re fundamentally incompatible and forcing this because you’re afraid of the unknown.
It’s not about comparing the positives vs the negatives or that there are a lot of positives. The negatives are attributes making this unsustainable. Good luck.
Our relationship has been generally good. We’ve known each other since 2011 and been married since 2017, and life with the 2 kids has been good, our youngest is 18months and my wife had just gotten her body back and things were really good,but with this 3rd pregnancy we have been overwhelmed (our own damn fault) in a mundane routine and having less sex…i turned 30, and started feeling sorry for myself and did the pathetic act that i did. I felt pretty ashamed and have been trying to be a better man the past 3 months. Praying every day, listening to leadership and marriage content, we started doing date night once a week, I’ll spend time with the kids alone when I get off work so she can have some time to breathe….but obviously she’s feeling hurt and I’m an idiot and she thinks our relationship is a lie and that’s totally not true
Yes, your ex. Sorry
You sure have a lot to say going off of things I said while in the heat of the moment. And in response to defending myself to people wanting to put me down over feeling what I'm feeling. I never said I was a victim. I've expressed I'm sorry. I even told her my comment didn't mean what it came across as. We don't apologize for being wrong, that's not our dynamic…since you want to bring that up. You contributed no advice, just judgement on a situation you know little about. Just what I said, again, in the heat of the moment. Responsibility? Girl when did I say I did nothing wrong? I explicitly said multiple times I know I messed up.
I hope he doesn’t post them on the internet if you ever break up. I would be sick thinking about the possibilities.
You just flirted with a guy but didn’t want anything more than a bit of attention. A lot of people, married or in relationships will flirt as it makes them feel better about themselves but this doesn’t mean they go on to sleep with other people. Sure you should tell your husband, because I don’t think you had any true intention to sleep with someone else. You seem to be really happy with the family you have which shows you wouldn’t do anything to risk losing that
Barley? Maybe she’s allergic to gluten.
Yeah and they're mostly fake.
Tell him to start going to AA meetings it’ll take the dry drunk out of his life. It will make him accountable and give people for him to talk to that are like him. Been doing it over 20 years and it works great. He may not be drinking, but he’s a dry drunk.
This is abusive behaviour. He knows your weaknesses and use them whenever he is slightly miffed. You did nothing to deserve this. And “put up with you another day”?! So you are a chore?! And all those comments aren't jokes. He wants to hurt you. He wants to put you down. You are just dating for a few months and he does already this shit. Please end it, it will just get worse.
You weren't even an afterthought in this situation. He did all of this without sparing even the slightest thought for you.
Eh, I wouldn’t act like this is the only solution. OP said there’s circumstances preventing her from moving out, which is precisely why she posted this. I agree that a healthy sexual relationship is important in marriage, but I also think there are solutions and compromises to create an easier coexistence.
For one, we all in the comments have no idea how loud these parents are and what kind of sounds OP is hearing, so the parents might be able to do more to help. If they’re being excessively vocal, then one solution is for them to be considerate and monitor their noise to a reasonable amount or insulate their room better so it doesn’t travel as much. This doesn’t mean they CANT have sex, just that they should be considerate of their noise levels if they are living with someone else. If it’s a creaky bedframe, they could work on getting a new/different one or padding it.
Also, there are things that OP can do to help reduce the impact of the noise. Padding the walls and adding more fabric decorations such as tapestries, rugs and such could help. Adding a seal at the bottom of the door could help too if there’s a big gap there (could also be said for parents room). If the sound is purely coming through a shared wall though, this might not help. Another solution is to drown out the noise via a white noise machine, background TV noise, etc. People that have lived in thinly walled apartments know there’s a ton of solutions other than moving out.
Over all, I think OP’s parents should be mindful of the scenario they’re putting OP in. She is not consenting to hearing their sexual encounters, and if she expresses discomfort then the parents should be working toward solutions, not just telling her to deal with it. Again, I’m not saying they need to stop having sex in their own home, but they should try to help their daughter be comfortable in her living space. If they don’t like it, they can always tell her to get out, though many people would consider them assholes for that.
I don't understand why your family is surprised that you have been studying for six years or so. Did they not know where you were or what you were doing? I find it naked to believe they didn't miss you at all.
I'm finding it nude to imagine why your brother would be so callous as to organise his wedding, which it seems you are compelled to attend, on the very day of your graduation after working your arse off for however many years med school is these days. What a wretched thing to do.
Go to your graduation and celebrate your success, as you so richly deserve to do.
Tell him you'll do your best to get to the reception but he had 365 days of this year to plan his wedding. It's not your fault he was inconsiderate enough to plan his wedding for the very day of your graduation.
Well done you and don't give in!!!!
Sweety, you're a strong woman. Don't let anyone take that from you. You got through freaking medical school!!! That's a HUGE accomplishment. In this era, you have to recognize your girl power. You don't need someone else to approve of your success. You've walked the walk, hold your head up high, and attend your graduation. If family is so dense to not try and make it to both events, that's on them. Tell your brother, you'll come after your graduation. Ask your friends to be your entourage and give them the tickets if your family isn't coming. It's a time for celebration. You've earned this.
No, bc he placed himself as a main victim already.
This is literally the only sign you need to know you should leave him and move forward with your life. He is not promising you loyalty. Listen to that and move on.
Oh definitely! He doesn't know what he wants. I'm not sure if this is relieving his burden or opening pandora's box. What I am sure is that he needs to grow up, face his fiance and stop being a coward. I feel no sympathy for him. I do feel sympathy for the poor fiance though…
What in the hell??
Seems like it is time to get to therapy and work through everything that caused you to accept this sort of behavior.
I agree with the other comment, if her body isn’t attractive to you then let her find someone who is attracted to her. It’s not fair to get with someone, dislike something about them from the start – that they themselves have no issue with! – and then try to get them to change that thing to fit your preferences.
Imagine if she said, I really like you but your receding hair line (other physical characteristic) is just not attractive to me, if you got a hair transplant then I’d really want to be with you. You’d be well within your within your rights to tell her to jog on!
Your post does seem to indicate two concerns, attraction and health concerns. Coming from a place of worry for her health and a genuine wish to support her health is slightly different, but even then she needs to feel it is an issue and want to make a change, neither of which she seems to be saying. Plus, your concern is not just her health, so your motivation here is very likely to feel shaming and derogatory.
Ultimately, situations of “you’d be perfect for me if you’d just do ________” mean that a) the person is not compatible with you and b) you’re a bit of an arrogant twerp for thinking they should change for you.
It absolutely is not and that makes absolutely no sense. I'm saying that people who voted for Trump are Trumpers. It's super simple.
You're trying to force your wife to hang out with Trumpers. Divorce her and let her find someone with basic human decency.
I don't think this is an unpopular take at all
If he’s not interested for reasons and he’s fine with it, then there is nothing to discuss.
You can have a conversation but don’t expect changes. It’s been many months.
It’s time to let him go, if you don’t want a dead bedroom. Let him find someone else with equally low sexual interest.
I'm going to add this here – when you find yourself comparing yourself to him, try to interrupt your thoughts and think to yourself, 'this really intelligent and amazing person is with me, not someone else. Therefore, there must be something I have that this person finds very attractive. I must be very special for this person to be travelling to see me every 2 weeks.'
In the moments when you find yourself struggling to learn stuff and to get a head, instead of comparing yourself to your partner. Ask him if there's anything he thinks you could improve on. Asking him for help will not only make him feel needed and helpful, but it will also help you in the long run. Learn from him as much as you can. Treat him like a mentor, someone you can learn from. Let him know that you find him very intelligent and look up to him. Tell him you're very grateful for all the times he's helped you before, and it means a lot to have someone so talented/skilled supporting you through life.
Whenever you find yourself comparing yourself to him, you need to remind yourself that you are two uniquely different people. You might be working or studying in the same field, but you are from different countries, you have different parents, and you have lived completely different lives. Your brain also finds stuff difficult to learn while his brain finds it easy. You suffer from high levels of anxiety while he doesn't.
I would also recommend the same thing a lot of people here have already – therapy. Cognitive behaviour therapy is what will help you the most with your current situation, as it's about learning to manage anxiety and challenging your negative thoughts.
I think you should also maybe look into getting tested for dyslexia or dsypraxia. I also find learning very difficult and spent most of my time at university comparing myself to other students who did a lot better than me. Turned out that my brain was completely different from other students because I have dsylexia and dyspraxia, which are learning difficulties. If you are struggling a lot to learn things others might find easy, it is very likely that you are neurodivergent and may have a condition affecting your learning.
Thanks for your reaction!
No i did not expect my parents to abandon my sister, or exclude her. That is something I do not want to happen.
I rather thought about 'a way in the middle'. I did not expect them to celebrate holidays twice. Just a family trip like the zoo or musea or a walk along the beach would suffice to me (a day to do something simple and fun). But they don't want to agree to that either.
Making this choice, not having contact with my sister anymore has it's consequences. I can only talk from my perspective. But thanks for sharing yours!
I always try to think: 'it 'll be alright' when i feel down. And i think that will be the case, whatever happens. But at the moment this situation still keeps me awake.
If these men she worked with were “a threat” to you, she wouldn't have dated you in the first place, she would've picked one of the men she works with. Chances are, she sees them as family and friends.
Do you not work with women?
For most people an expert can keep composure and even go deeper into the topic to attain innocence like “thank you for trusting me! I won’t lie I’m glad you did cause if i was you i would think the worst too! Lol”
You want to have a baby when you can't afford a baby or a place to online. That's fucking genius.
Leave. She let another man cum in her bro
Do not engage with “Call me repulsive, senpai” spammer
Yeah that makes sense! It’s takes me quite a bit of time to recognize and communicate that something has upset me, so unfortunately I struggle to confront something in the moment. It’s something I’m trying to practice though, because that struggle has been an issue for many people in my life. Hopefully I’ll be able to do this consistently one day!
Lol, you're insane. I feel bad for him. Also, you can break the lease it just costs money. It's not illegal to break a lease. Watching porn and cheating are not even close to the same thing. Make sure you tell him so he doesn't get an STI.
I mean she was right. Now you have no car. No furniture. And one less person paying bills. And that’s your fault. Oh well
Please don’t give him any money or put your name on any loan documents. He isn’t financially stable and is expecting you to pick up his bills. Don’t let this man ruin your credit and future.
Cmon bro lol
Your friend is an adult.
No relationship is perfect, but your friend seems content.
I dont even know..to be honest
That's the reason I'm so skeptical. But we online together and she hasn't spoken to her since January.