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Date: November 3, 2022
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Mutual friends, common activities, etc. Places where I suspect people similar to me would be. I’ve tried to hang with the “nerdy” folks and met some girls that way too, but nothing significant. I don’t generally relate well to the D&D or Catan types (male or female) although I’ve tried.
In my case no. But it has nothing to do with him being the first. He just happens to be the most decent of all the guys I've decided to date.
Updateme!
No, you gain nothing by telling her except making things even more awkward. it would also be inappropriate for you to confess feelings for another woman while in a relationship. sounds like you contemplating telling her isn’t for her sake, it’s so you can talk to her again.
Hang out with your uncle and forget your mom. He knows what is what. The world has shown you your true family.
This has to be a troll lmfao
Yeah don't come onto my post twisting my words around and act like I'm doing I'm not. Get bent.
What did you actually do wrong? You were drunk so you took yourself home, which unless I've missed something was the responsible thing to do, did you do a sidewinder or say goodbye before leaving?
What do you think, should I break off all contact? Wouldn't it be awkward that we have this friend circle? At this point no one knows about this except for her. I feel like I got manipulated into feeling this way.
I have suffered childhood abuse too OP and have cut contact with my parents. If my spouse did this, I would be gone. Doubly so if kids were involved because abusive parents ALWAYS become abuse grandparents.
If you feel comfortable, talk with your therapist about bringing your GF into a therapy session so you and your therapist can let her know the damage she is causing.
I would be prepared to go scorched earth over this OP.
If he’s so convinced she cheated based on what someone else told him and isn’t even willing to hear her side of it, then he’s even more of an asshole. You have to trust your partner enough to at least talk to them.
Time to break up. This is someone who wants a very codependent relationship and you clearly don’t.
It's been a long time since this happened, is there a reason these thoughts have popped up to confront her now, 7 years into the relationship, and would something that happened so long ago really change things?
It also could've been her mum, or maybe even she did send it to you but had second thoughts about the “I love you” at the time, possibly feeling it was too soon or not something to say first time in a text.
If you bring this up now, regardless of what the truth is, it's likely going to be a pretty negative conversation.
I was afraid of this. I don’t know what to do.
WHAT!?
That's been inappropriate behavior for years. He has been grooming her for years!
Leave her alone. Go find someone you don’t have to change into the person you want to be with.
Wtf, you are a greedy asshole.
The feelings you're having are absolutely normal. That pain and humiliation you're feeling is going to last a very long time. What you have to ask yourself is Can I put this behind me and move on with this relationship? I can tell you now it isn't going to be easy but it might just be possible.
People's minds are going there because of how you worded your post title. If it had just been something like “my sibling twins exclude me and lie about it”, I guarantee there'd be less minds going there.
I understand your concerns, maybe you could try sharing them with him? In a way that makes it seem like he is not immediately being judged. You could even outright ask him if he would be interested in getting “that” sort of action in Thailand. If the answer is not an immediate NO!! then maybe reconsider the relationship.
That's a helpful advice. I definitely have to be careful about the way I talk about him. Till now I just reminded her that he is an adult and able to take care of himself. Not calling him names or anything like that.
Why don't you leave?
Jew here. I think people are getting side tracked by the book. The book isn’t so much the issue. Molly’s Mum’s anti-semitic adjacent behavior is.
She is obviously trying to convert you. She’s doing some pretty nasty ‘Jew shaming’ to do it. ‘Some Jews despaired after the Holocaust. (Inferring their faith isn’t real, or strong, or protective enough). But Christians like Connie Ten Boom never wavered in their faith and were protected!’
Factually, that’s not really true. Many Jews remained faithful during and after the Holocaust (like my Grandparents). And yes, many Christians were killed in WWII and in camps. Yes, many Jews wrestled with their faith and struggled. But Judaism allows questioning and struggle- it doesn’t demand blind obedience.
A lot of Jewish writers, historians, poets, and theologians have grappled with the Holocaust. The answer that made the most sense to me is ‘God created men with free will. Men created the Holocaust. You can believe in God without blaming him for man’s actions and inaction. Don’t blame God, try to be better people.’ Obviously, I don’t believe in nonsense endless bottles of medicine.
I would have. absolutely. lost. my. ever. loving. crap. on her the moment she said ‘some Jews lost their faith.’ What, precisely, is she saying? I would have confronted her to explain it. That they died because they weren’t faithful enough? That they would have been protected if they were Christians? Or believers? That they should be judged for despairing? Let her explain wtf she meant.
If you are interested in WWII, there’s the Night Trilogy, Norman Davies ‘Europe at War,’ and Anthony Beevor’s ‘Stalingrad.’
Charge her and give her a bill, or give her a bill for your services and take the curry off of your bill. She's being ungrateful and petty
I also agree, her reaction seems too casual for them to be cheating. But it's still a weird, inappropriate gift for him to give and for her to accept.
Possible explanations in my head are:
a) he's attracted to her AND feels confident that she's not so fully closed off that she'd reject the gift/him. Which begs the question, why did he feel confident this gift would be well-received? Has there been light flirting that she hasn't shut down? Maybe she has some attraction towards him herself but thinks it's harmless, or she likes the attention he's been showing to her so she hasn't shut him down and now he's overstepping because he thinks he's got a shot. I kinda feel like she's not fully reciprocal to his attraction, otherwise she might have been more flustered to receive that kind of gift in front of you. But still, she needs to be putting up boundaries on her own with this dude.
b) he's attracted to her and didn't know how she'd react to the gift but is using it to feel out what other boundaries he might be able to overstep while normalizing him overstepping intimacy boundaries. While playing it casual so he has plausible deniability that he didn't intend to give her an inappropriate gift! In case she took it poorly.
c) he's really dumb and actually thought this gift was a good idea and wouldn't cause any questions or problems. You know your friend, is he this dumb? When you ask him about it he'll probably play dumb, up to you to determine how much of it you buy
I also agree, her reaction seems too casual for them to be cheating. But it's still a weird, inappropriate gift for him to give and for her to accept.
Possible explanations in my head are:
a) he's attracted to her AND feels confident that she's not so fully closed off that she'd reject the gift/him. Which begs the question, why did he feel confident this gift would be well-received? Has there been light flirting that she hasn't shut down? Maybe she has some attraction towards him herself but thinks it's harmless, or she likes the attention he's been showing to her so she hasn't shut him down and now he's overstepping because he thinks he's got a shot. I kinda feel like she's not fully reciprocal to his attraction, otherwise she might have been more flustered to receive that kind of gift in front of you. But still, she needs to be putting up boundaries on her own with this dude.
b) he's attracted to her and didn't know how she'd react to the gift but is using it to feel out what other boundaries he might be able to overstep while normalizing him overstepping intimacy boundaries. While playing it casual so he has plausible deniability that he didn't intend to give her an inappropriate gift! In case she took it poorly.
c) he's really dumb and actually thought this gift was a good idea and wouldn't cause any questions or problems. You know your friend, is he this dumb? When you ask him about it he'll probably play dumb, up to you to determine how much of it you buy
Huh. Tempted to try, just to see.
Honestly I'm not attracted to women who are overweight. I work out a lot and feel like it's only fair. Everyone has preferences, and there is no shame in that.
Interesting, that’s not really how healthy relationships work. When you’re at a place where you’re thinking of conflict with your partner as “my problem/their problem” then I think you’ve lost the plot.
Relationships require empathy and understanding. I’m sorry that teen dramas and Reddit have perhaps lead you to believe that things can be oversimplified, but that’s not really how the grown-up world works.
Recent studies have also shown that yes the woman’s age can really factor in to complications to the fetus and pregnancy, but also the older a male is does have impact on the fetus as well because of sperm quality. Not to mention how the chances of getting pregnant after 35 is a lot harder than in your 20s. Therefore they may start around 35 but realize by 37/38 they can’t get pregnant without IVF and for a lot of people the money involved in that isn’t reasonable.
I’m currently pregnant and 31. I told my husband we knew we wanted one more and wanted a new place before that happened, but biologically we were running out of time and it trumped finding a house. So we will be a little cramped here until interest rates drop lol.
If there is any way for you two to stop living together go that route. Whether it’s you kicking her out or you leaving to find somewhere else to live, it doesn’t matter. You need to separate
I understand the pain my friend but time will make it easier, just live life to the fullest my friend and don’t stay by yourself to much your worse enemy is yourself
What a surprise a cheater with excuses…. You're just as bad as your ex congrats.
Break up with your BF there is no excuse for cheating.
Lol that’s just stupid!
Like he enjoys your presence? Your company? He enjoys spending time together and it's nice sleeping beside someone without sex too.
who the fuck said anyone was getting SHOT lmao?! it would likely be a fine and if you cant pay it jail time, and it goes BOTH ways, i simply said she could possibly be jailed for that (obviously depending on location) and youre the one arguing to death about no no no for WHAT why would she possibly be jailed? instead of just admitting laws are different in different places. the reason why theres a fine where i live is so that people are encouraged to discard pills they don't recognize, not take random pills from strangers/assume that the stranger is giving them the right pill/ people hoarding excess amounts of pills above their prescription amount. Laws exist to keep peace, if i didnt live in a first world country they wouldnt have drug laws at all. ur kinda just being a dick for no reason.
And everyone is assuming she was crying b/c she was sad. She could be pissed. I cry when I am angry, or experience any intense feeling. And, yeah, being upset in some way doesn't mean she isn't over her ex. She needs to dump you after your reaction.
Break up with him
You need to just leave when she says those things. She is playing you and doesn't give a shit about you or your relationship
I've got a hydroflask, and I used to drink tons of lemon water. We'll have to see about going back to that exclusively, as much as it pains me
You ratted him out and then brought someone over to step to him basically. You should just dump him, because that is not how to get him to change his opinions, if it's even possible.
I feel like I've yes this exact post ages ago on AITA
I feel like I've yes this exact post ages ago on AITA
Do you have any friends? Introduce him to some people.
Why would you have to change your plans for a pregnant family member? It's not the bride, so you do you and pregnant lady can see what works and what doesn't.
Then this should be your dealbreaker: she stops drinking completely, or you're out.
I agree! Don't pass up this opportunity! Also you seem to be making all the sacrifices, now is that you over compensating or is he unwilling compromise and meet you half way? We only regret the opportunities you passed up not the ones we taken. If he really is the right one he would be telling you to take the opportunity and that he is willing to work on the relationship, whether it's long distance or he goes with you, if not he's not the right one.
It's not my wife lol and that's good you two are so close
Good luck with that dude, it’s not going to happen. Even with debt she has and you making more, you’re married right now, what’s mine is hers.
The judge will see right through your shit.