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erotic_frolics, y.o.
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Date: January 7, 2023
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It's not OPs job to live her mothers trauma, to cut off her family for her mother who won't go to therapy to deal with it.
Don't fall for it, she does it because she wants someone to pay for her kid, and I assume the bio dad bailed. Don't fall for it, she needs to take care of the child not you. Block her and move on.
If she refuses help to a problem that is affecting you too, she seams to not care about you. A selfcentered partner to the point of hurting yourself isn't worth the stay.
I think, if she is your love and you want to stay together, you need to put your foot down and give her an ultimatum: “You can't stay with her like this for the sake of your health in the long run.”
It's almost never about the guy. Or her. Or the circumstances.
I’ve been crying on and off for the past 8 hours. I am feeling like a zombie. I’ve vomited and I feel like dying. I called in sick tomorrow.
It sounds like you're having a panic attack or mental breakdown resulting from some untreated depression and/or issues with self-worth, and you're spiraling with some obsessive-compulsive ruminations you can't shake.
Do you have a primary care doctor? Contact them and tell them you're having a mental health crisis. They can prescribe you something to get you through the next few days and refer you to a psychotherapist that can help you figure out why you're actually feeling this way. And how to cope and reflect when these feelings happen.
There is help out there. Reach out and help yourself. Call your doctor. If you don't have one, look for the nearest center of mental health wellness and work with your insurance company to see who would be covered and who can take you immediately.
Get help to get you through the next few days. This scenario is the real reason doctors subscribe things like benzodiazepines to calm down your nervous system enough to breathe without hyperventilating, sleep more than a few minutes at a time, and eat something without vomiting.
“it would be unfair if she were to be with me while I experienced the most brutal parts of my own journey and growth.”
Im sorry but this is absolute garbage and makes zero sense.
Your sister isn’t your husband’s responsibility.
I guess you would be right, but I am fairly confident if you try to look further I am not just a « warm wet hole » and would hope someone I’ve known for the past 6 years would see more than that.
The sort of boundaries you have in place sound like professional advice. And he even noticed that you didn’t re-fold his socks. And y’all throw things at each other all the time. Girl this relationship is made of damp graham crackers and held together by chewed Trident.
Anything is possible, but it seems like he feels just as strongly about keeping it as you are with abortion, so that's going to be tough. His response may surprise you. Or maybe you might have a change of heart. Just make sure that when you do talk to him, that you both hear the other one out, and not just listen to him talk while thinking about what to say next. Good luck!
This is a clusterfuck if I ever did see one. She’s cheated why are you still together?
Nope, his parents are now the enemy. If you want to get away clean, do not involve them.
I completely agree on the part about me talking to my therapist about that, and I have theirs nothing wrong about wanting to be shown off by your partner my therapist has agreed with me on that part and has expressed that I should communicate more with him on that aspect.
Which i will talk to him once he gets home from work and see how we can work it out without making rash decisions quickly like that. I just wanted a different perspective.
If he has two jobs, neither one of them is great.
And neither is he. Remove yourself.
Seriously? Who cares? He can ask you to play, you tried it, didn't like it. Done. How is this an actual issue?
It’s not normal, and don’t put anything else in writing to him about the incident. He knows he did wrong and that’s why he’s scared and intimidating you.
Text him you don’t want him on your property again (that counts as a no trespassing notice legally) for your own personal safety and block him.
You didn’t deserve this, fuck him.
Because we have a very good and happy relationship
It's likely that it couldn't have been fixed once it was booked without a big financial penalty.
But, does she know how important anniversaries are to you?
Maybe think about celebrating it before/after her cruise. It can still be meaningful and special.
Oh no! Absolutely not!!!!!
She told me that she was a bit tired but nothing too drastic.
You should DEFINITELY tell your girlfriend. Unless it’s a surprise party or a really cool gift or something that has nothing to do with her like your friend had something embarrassing happen and doesn’t want anyone to know but wants advice on how to get blood stains out of clothes or something, pretty much any time someone starts off with “don’t tell your girlfriend,” it’s probably something you should tell your girlfriend.
As to what happens after you tell your girlfriend what her mother instructed, that’s up to her. She may decide to not rock the boat and cancel the trip or she may decide she’s an adult now and had enough of her parents’ control. I can’t tell you whether saving on rent or keeping a relationship with her parents is worth it.
But step 1 is show her the text. She can go from there
It’s so that, when you cancel the trip for whatever BS justification you come up with that has nothing to do with your girlfriend’s mom telling you to cancel, you look like the bad guy. Then she can cry to mom “he canceled the trip, and I know he’s lying about why,” and she can comfort your girlfriend all while getting exactly what she wants. She wants tension in your relationship.
What was his answer to why he cares?
I don't know if I'm just clinging onto something that jsnt happening, or if this is a 'one who got away' kind of thing or what is going on. But I don't understand why I still want him and want something from him
sounds like it to me. if it was going to happen, it would have.
i think you like the ego boost of his attention. but i think there's no substance there.