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Room for live sex video chat EvaaStevens
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Date: October 30, 2022
Why. Are. They. Hanging. Out.
What you told him about loving you just the way you are is spot on. And it seems like him not seeing you with a super flat tummy is not good enough for him. If you are comfortable the way you are and have a routine you enjoy, you shouldn't change it.
His thoughts about it are clearly not going to change. You should do both of you a favor and let him go. So you can find a man that loves you just the way you are, and he can go find someone that meets his expectations. This will not get any better.
Kuddos to you for keeping your ground, knowing who you are and what you want, and not letting him make you feel like you need to change for his liking.
Yeah. Just got burnt out on chicken breast and ground turkey so I thought I'd mix in mushrooms and spinach for a little bit. Chickpea pasta is jammed with protein too.
Look up the definition of financial abuse. I see several red flags for that being a real possibility in your future if you stay with this guy.
If he doesn’t on-line there where is he going to online?
Trust your gut. Sorry for your pain, but he’s not ready for a permanent love yet. But he’s definitely got his permanent friends.
Hold on OP, this answer sounds like you feel like you are expecting yourself to be able to say no after 3 years of therapy. I don't really know how to express this decently since English isn't my first language but please hear me out: this healing process may be taking more time than you expected, but you are like Rome. Rome wasn't built in a day. And exactly like Rome, the more time you take, the more beautiful and strong your inner self will be. And under buildings of Rome you can find older ones. Those are key to understanding how Rome became Rome, and for you is the same! The more you know about Rome, the more amazing the place is, and the more you explore yourself trough therapy, the more amazing your inner capital (your mind and heart) will be. You deserve the best OP.
This notion that you have to speak every thought that pops into your head is absurd. All people have weird dreams, fantasies and flights of fancy but you don't tell your romantic partner about them. Yikes! Maybe this'll blow over but it's not going to be “a chuckle” to anyone to know their SO is having sex dreams about an ex – especially an ex they have to see all the time because they're coparenting with them. Hopefully your current relationship is strong enough to get through this. But if it's not and if he breaks up with you do at least learn from this experience. Wow, just wow. Good luck.
Time for a divorce my guy don’t stay in this relationship any longer she is obviously disrespecting you and willing to disrespect you behind your back. And with what you said the first sentence it’s only a matter of time don’t be a fool.
Before contacting him, I suggest you decide what you want to accomplish. Are you expecting financial assistance, acknowledgment that he is your child’s father, an explanation of the relatively brief time between your relationship and his marriage, etc.
I believe it would a mistake to improvise such an important conversation. You are no longer speaking for yourself, but you and your daughter.
Maybe you can practice your likely exchange with a friend.
Anyway, my fingers are crossed that everything will turn out well for you and your daughter.
I'm sorry, but he's an adult. You've told him that you can't afford this, he understands. He just doesn't care. I know you don't want to hear this because you want to believe that it's 'not malicious', but if you've told him over and over and he just won't listen, then it IS malicious.
Thanks, that's very helpful! I can't really imagine wanting to bottom to be honest, we haven't had that conversation so I don't know how he feels about it yet. It's not a definite 'never' for me though and it could be just because its so unfamiliar. I can imagine topping but I don't think I'm ready for that right now.
I’m a guy so I don’t breastfeed but I’ve seen my wife breastfeed two separate babies and not once did she forget a bra. Most times she was reminded of it because of it digging into her or because it was soaked.
Not sure if there are too many changes in her character. She pretty much is doing the same things she was doing before. I am very family oriented. They told me I'm not my best when I'm with her but this time around I've been more involved with my family than ever before and making sure I'm putting them first.
A few months later she apologised and said that she gets scared easily. I told her that it was my fault and she didn’t need to apologise. We started to talk again but with boundaries both of us accepted, however I was still confused what she truly wanted. I don’t want to be her puppy. She wasn’t answering properly and the fact that I was getting rejected like this made me confused. I know it’s idiotic to keep asking a person but this confusion was like an itch that I just couldn’t scratch. The situation ended but she was still scared and the rumours still persisted.
It is absolutely not.
Women (and men) lie about their past. Best way to predict future behavior is the kind of respect they show the relationship and those subtle cues.
Someone's interest isn't, or shouldn't be shown as just paying for a meal, or every meal, it would be shown in other ways. If I just paid for my partners meal every date, we wouldn't be dating. We both bought or brought our drinks, chatted, and learned about one another. No free meals were had, and that's how it should be.
personally, i’m always ready to pay if i have to, but i would never continue a relationship with a man if i have to pay for a date, just because my male family members would be very disappointed in me. but that doesnt mean im lazy or entitled. some people are just different.
Nah this should be a massive red flag ? I couldn’t even begin to imagine a life with someone who refuses to wash their ass crack lmao
Same.
Is this kind of post allowed in r/AskMen?
I’ll give you the same advice I would a woman, get a go bag for you and your children together and leave in the night if you have to
He clearly doesn't learn from his lessons, he caught a very serious STI and is having unprotected sex… what if you had something? How many other people had he had unprotected sex with in the last year? 2 years? He's a selfish asshole
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to make sure that I will eventually be comfortable with thoughts like “being together”, so long as I'm putting mutual work and maybe taking things a step further like sharing media of us?
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She is a insecure train wreck. Dumps away!
We can’t realistically give you good advice until you talk with her first.
Ofc it’s you see how what this guy is doing is hugely inappropriate and most of the blame is on him as he’s doing something awful to your gf (which is what you should lead with and focus on when you speak to her).
After that, when you bring up how you feel about what she said, emphasise you know it’s not her fault and it’s been a long time, but what you saw hurt you and you need time to think things over. Ask yourself if you would need anything from her to help, and if not that’s ok too.
She’s not your responsibility. You’re in a different country from her. She’s obviously had mental health issues long before this. You are not at fault. You’ve passed it on, and if her family don’t take it seriously then that’s up to them. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but she needs to help herself.
NO. NO MAKING A SCENE NO ATTENDING. it’s giving toxic.
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check your countries law, for me in germany my parents are forced to pay for my rent/food/etc until my first graduation. You don’t HAVE to please your dad with fear of money being cut off. I‘m glad the person never arrived but I would honestly just not talk to him/keep most things from him now.
If you never told him mom and stepdad would be sleeping over, this wouldn’t ever have been a problem in the first place,
Yeah OP seems to be leaving a lot of things out that I’m guessing would paint her in a bad picture. Idk if she oblivious or purposely doing it, but just from her post, her husband is being pushed to his ends and she’s an accomplice.
Also this is a 20 year old man who’s telling you “my mom said no” and that’s not an instant turn off?? And instead of letting go of this internet stranger who’s decisions are delegated by his parents, you continue to pursue him and try to override the concern of his parents? Everything about this is so weird
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I really like that analogy.
I'm not American we have different rules. No fault divorce and have to wait 1 year after separation.
I'm not trying to judge but both your brother and your wife have no money and no education but your brother is the one with now a good job. He needs to dump his mooching and controlling wife or he'll never have any money. OR she needs to get a job and contribute and I'd like to find out where the $4.000 went????? Best thing from afar would be for him to divorce her and cut her off. A “rough upbringing” is not excuse for her behavior and no reason for him to “excuse” her.
Oh man, if I saw my boyfriend write that about our relationship, I'd be out the door so fast.
Thank you for your response. Hope you can one day get an official diagnosis for sure, if that’s the case.
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Out of curiosity, what was your temp?
No
How do you see where the self-centered, entitled, abuser is coming from lol? I’m guessing he’s being annoying be you and your family are enabling him. He has no ground to stand on. Tell him to drop it and refuse to engage in the conversation. There’s no way one man is bullying your whole family like this unless y’all are letting him.
Dude fr. Their entire relationship foundation is based on a lie
I know there is a bachelor party because someone else in their friend group that he’s closer to brought it up. The last time we saw this friend which was the second time in 4 years they spoke about it. He does have friends flying in from out of country to go.
Don’t think so, he sounded kinda serious/negative.
This sub is complete delusional about what the police do
Get your GF therapy, she probably has low self esteem and it sounds like she might be caught in a cycle. She needs to be stronger to be able to cut the friend off and keep it that way.
sounds like she had nothing but good intentions and you thoughtlessly dumped on them with your pride. i’m not hating, i’ve been there myself. it feels good to put your hot work into something for yourself because it’s rare that anyone else can understand what the value of the purchase and possession means to you. that being said… you should let her buy you the gift. she’s actively working to understand what she can do to show you she cares for you. you’ve finally got money to throw around and yet she still wants to contribute in a heartfelt way. that response is leagues ahead of a partner who groans at a frivolous purchase because they think your money is theirs to direct. obviously, i think an apology is necessary. but i would personally take it a step further by surprising her with something of equal value. i’d work tirelessly to study her likes and hobbies to find something truly meaningful, and give it to her with an apology and the acceptance of any gift she’s willing to give
Or finishes it for them.
Have you SEEN kids?
Like really looked at them? They're horrible. They're noisy and expensive and poop. For 25 years.
he needs therapy for sure. also i’m sorry this happened to u i would have been freaking out even more so don’t worry it is not harsh!
I hit my bf up on IG 4.5 yrs ago and he loved it, we’re happy that we got to meet in this way since we lived 3 hrs apart. And we’re older, I’m 51 and he’s 41, men of any age appreciate a woman making the first move. That rules stuff is not accurate and hasn’t been for decades. Good luck!
op, he is an abusive older creep.
He is cliche of how old guys treat young women theydate. Becuase he doesn't see you as a person or an equal. He does see you as a toy object he can fuck and then yell at and then ignore and embarrass – as your feeling dont matter to him – your nativity does.
he loves having you running after him and jumping at his presence. Hi breaking down and shatterig your sense of self, the safety of your environment, your esteem and confidence etc – are all conscious. He like that you are under his thumb to mistreat as he likes, and that you have no where to run to. Thats why he forced you on a “surprise holiday”? where you couldn't speak the language – and has now moved you internationally to where you have no safety net outside of him.
OP, please, GO HOME. Book a flight, grab what you can and leave this guy. Wipe all ways he can access you. He isnt a good person.
There is NO “good-person and well adjusted 30 yr old”, who “dates an 18 yr old”. Those two demographics on a Venn diagram, result in two separate circles very far apart.
He is a sad, abusive man, and you are his victim and prey.
Please choose yourself. Please save your self, and your own esteem and your own confidence and your own ability to be an adult. Youre already doing the latter way better than him, as dont need to be a predatory bully & creep to feel good, like he does.
This story seems like a paint-by-numbers cliche of what an older predator who dehumanises his toy child bride and then takes advantage of her, whilst making her think she is somehow the problem.
That is NOT your shame, it is his. This is all on him.
None of this defines you – you were just super unfortunate to run into someone who takes advantage of you. Dont date much older men in the future, men who date much younger than them with women in their teens and early 20s – are so often fucking social duds, and the younger person is too inexperienced to see it.
You need to have a heart to heart and apologize and tell him the truth how you let your parents get to you how you regretted ever divorcing him every thing. You should tell him you would like to give him another chance but it's his decision.
If the eye roll is in response to a perfectly respectfully phrased comment with a casual tone, then yes. Eye rolling would be disrespectful in that case. If it’s it’s in response to condescending, petty, or otherwise rude comments, no it’s not. Your wife was justified in her reaction.
You're the one allowing her to ruin your relationships. You're 30 choose to on-line your life or stay with your abusive mother for the rest of your life. Your family doesn't have to accept him.
Domestic violence abusers are very controlled and calculated on who they act that way to,as you correctly pointed out.
“read between the lines” a.k.a. “decide something completely different happened and then respond based on the version of events that exists only in your head”
I have no idea how someone is thirty five years old, and is like “Oh, gosh…I didn't know that if my ex sends me pictures of how good he looks with his shirt off, my husband might get mad. Who knew?” Are you truly this lacking in common sense, or are you pretending so you can keep up plausible deniability? If you took a poll of a hundred fourteen year old girls, and asked them if their boyfriend would be upset with them for getting a shirtless pic of their ex, at fourteen they would all already know that would upset them. It's insulting to other women for you to pretend to be this dense.
And the reason I know this isn't in good faith, is because anyone with any real common sense and who cared at all about their husband's feelings, if something like this happened which we're pretending you had no idea would upset him, but then he did get upset for reasons that really do make sense, you would be apologetic and trying to make things right. You wouldn't be looking for internet strangers to tell you he's overreacting so you can weaponize and use it to win the argument. You being right about something in which you're clearly wrong is more important to you than saving your marriage.
Send your husband here. He's the one who needs advice.
Sounds like a well adjusted daughter despite having you for a mom.
He more than likely wants to keep it if you don’t want to you’ll probably just going to have to end up leaving,
this is what I've been trying to say. that accepting housing benefit from me means that she should just accept the fact that she'll get it when i'm paid. this stipulation has been a part of the uk benefits system for months.
but half of these commenters are judging me from their american knowledge.
I talked to my mother about my concerns and she called me an awful person for even thinking about divorce.
Sorry, but your name really needs to step back. 2 years ago, she should have been more supportive, and should have advised you to not rush into marriage with a 16 year old teenager who's pregnant. Most teenage relationships don't work out, married or not.
You don't owe her a second chance, but you can grant her a second chance if you feel like it. There's not right or wrong answer here, just follow your gut feeling. It was impolite on her end, but maybe she's being honest. It can be intimidating to meet people for the first time.
If she cancels again, then there's your definite answer. Good luck.
So? They explained themselves shortly afterward.
Please tell me you at least got Plan B the next day. At best the you reported the sexual assault. Because consent to have sex under a specific set of circumstances – like WITH A CONDOM – is not the same as consent without those circumstances – without one. He knew your boundaries for sex and violated them, and you. You can still report both the assault and his stalker behavior. Please do.
There are victims in financial crimes. Money has to come from somewhere and someone
In my opinion, the kind of person that is willing to do something like this is not worth staying with. You'll always have doubts, trust will be impossible to fully rebuild, and frankly you're going to be constantly reminded that your husband is an unfaithful asshole.
As for the kids, better they be raised by co-parents than a married couple that don't love each other. Kids are smart, they learn early what's going on and how you behave will have a long-term impact on their development. What would you tell your child in the future if they were cheated on? Would you tell them to stay and work it out with the cheater, or would you tell them they're too good to put up with that and deserve someone that loves them unconditionally?
Sounds like he’s finally exercising good judgment. Unprotected sex is not some symbol of undying love & pure trust. It’s risky gambling. He’s growing up & using better judgment. You should, too.
We need some details here. Is he still with her? Are papers even filed? If there aren’t even papers filed that you can see on-line, don’t do it. He’s calling you up while he has his wife at home. If he had a spine, he would have called you after he had at least filed for divorce and not like he was trying to turn you into some gross, sleazy side chick. You deserve so much more, OP. Think about how/why he texted you the way he did.
Be sure this is a guy that’s calling you up because he really has been carrying a torch for you all this time and not just because this is a strange time in his life and you’re a familiar place for him.
Yeah, this is as if you were a recovering alcoholic and your partner just keep badgering you to “have one little drink. It's just the one, one can't hurt you, can it?”
jkshfjlsksha 5h You deciding your ex’s reaction is worth not knowing who is around your children is your own issue.
Unless she just brings random dudes around without asking OP, which is what it sounds like. Sounds like she had a rule for OP that she doesn't enforce on herself. That is highly manipulative.
Oh, I might suggest that rather than buy an x-box, he should repay you for his trip to visit you. An itemized list would be good.
Then, I’d kick his no-job, video-game-playing ass to the curb.
But that’s just me.
When people are looking for reasons to be upset they can usually find them. Unfortunately far too many guys will try to get flirty even with their platonic female friends. Your girlfriend seems to have mastered the art of deflecting that, as most woman have to. What to do comes down to an explanation of “cheated on again”. If this exact girlfriend cheated on you in the past maybe you're justified a wee bit of worry. But if you're dragging emotional baggage from a past relationship into this you need to step off before you ruin this.
I'd tell him take the test or not, but either way STFU with the “joking”.
I'd tell him take the test or not, but either way STFU with the “joking”.
This. My ex would literally say his contribution was that he had a job. Buddy…..most adults do (including myself our entire relationship, although I was pt so we didn’t have to pay for childcare), you’re not special. It took him 10 years to make a medical appointment for our son, and by the way he described it you would think he was a hot done by single dad doing it all alone. Forget that he had to ask me what kind of meds our son had been on for the last three years because he had no clue ?
The mental burden mothers carry is unreal, and they just take for granted that groceries are bought and lunches are made and school forms are signed and doctors appointments scheduled…as if some magical little fairy does it all.
If it’s her bed you can’t really say anything. You can go home.
If it’s your bed Insist or don’t let her sleep over
Either it’s a boundary of yours or it’s not. A boundary isn’t how you control someone else’s behavior. A boundary is how you react to some one else’s behavior
Third thing: of she’s abroad now and discussing this with you long-distance, you should be entirely confident that she’s already indulging the lifestyle she’s trying to get permission for .
Unless you plan on having children with her be very careful, some women like to baby trap men.
I didn't read all 500 comments but there's some really good advice in there.
Hopefully someone else added this, but introduce your GF to your coworkers (including the one in question). Its usually less scary when you know the person.
So don’t date those people? Or establish that you don’t date those people and if they make a bad decision while drunk and horny promptly leave them. A good partner will continue to be a good partner no matter the environment and their partners job (assuming they know their partner is a good one) is to trust that fact.
I would let him know that after some careful self reflection and due to recent events that you've decided to prioritize your own mental and physical well-being. I would also let him know that you've decided to seek counseling for the self esteem issues that have culminated in you allowing yourself to be with “someone like him” and would suggest he do the same for his “narcissistic tendencies”.
Let him know that he is trash and you must have been crazy for being with someone like him without saying it directly.. Make him question what kind of man he is!
I mean yeah, I definitely didn't steal panties in high school. But teenagers say and do all sorts of dumb things – especially horny ones
If this was last year I'd be way more put off. But this was young dumb guy being young and dumb, and learning his lesson without someone having to teach it to him
it’s not difficult to prevent yourself from calling your partner slurs. accept that you were a bad boyfriend and leave her alone. get some therapy.
It is not healthy to take on the role of your partner's therapist in a relationship, regardless of intentions. Your decision to do so seems to be the reason that the relationship failed. A therapist needs to be neutral in order to keep the client accountable. When a partner tries to do the same thing, it is perceived as criticism and a personal attack.
Because of your unhealthy relationship with your ex, it will be more difficult for you to let him go emotionally. This is because you turned into his therapist and now perceive the breakup partly as a failure to help him. So you have a lot to process before you can move on.
He has now shown you that he can and is willing to cheat on and lie to you FOUR TIMES despite being together for just under a year.
The saying goes “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
Thank you, I appreciate your insight and honesty.
Lmao dude, THAT IS THE PHOTO??????? Oh my god, look at your life, look at your choices, you’re mad about this????? LOL
i need link XD
Why?
I feel safe with him and well respected.
Those are good pre-requisites to have- good luck!
My ex approached me, so I took the opportunity to introduce my boyfriend
My cat licked my foot before while I was having sex with my bf. Now we make sure they are all out of the room and not hiding under the bed before we close the door. I do not want that experience again lmao
He lied to you.
Do liars deserve a second chance to lie to you allover again at the next opportunity?
You think he cheated.
Do cheaters deserve a second chance to cheat on you allover again at the next opportunity?
If both is a “no go” for you: stick to your decision.
I don’t think he has a porn addiction he’s just weird. Doing it daily isn’t a problem but it’s valid to be concerned about the context. For example I’d say it’d be normal if your partner is getting off to pics of you or pornstars that look like you. Your man needs to imagine other girls when he’s fucking you in order to cum. Your partner also seems like he’d rather jerk off than fuck you. Honestly that’s fuckin nuts I think he’s hiding his lack of attraction for you behind his masturbation habits.
Well, that’s what therapy is for! Maybe look into that?
Honestly, the only one I can say for sure is on your poor dog. As much as I hate to say it- and as much as she doesn't deserve it- let her keep him. Unless you have paperwork with your name exclusively on it stating ownership, don't fight this battle. Seeing her every few days is worse for your mental health than not seeing your pet. I know it sucks to lose them both, but clean breaks heal fastest.
If the paperwork is all in your name though, fuck her, keep the dog and file a restraining order in case she might try to steal him.
You should have left long time ago. The moment you are lower in priority order for your partner then their friends is when you call it quits.
You have been excusing her lack of time for you many times, and this the result. Next time do not assume things will just get better by themselves, and make proper demands and leave should they nit be met.
You have stay where you are, for now at least, but it's only your own fault.
Selfish guy
Which ones do you want to know? ISO? Diafragma? Shutter time? Or are you more interested in the afterproduction color balance? Adjustments or sharpening etc.?
Forgot to switch accounts?
Alright, then you have a difficult decision in front of you, we can not decide for you, life is not easy, sit down, think if it’s feasible, make a decision.
Choose yourself. Your family knows they have manipulated and guilted you in the past to giving into their wishes and they’re trying to do it again now. Completing med school is a huge accomplishment, and you should be so proud of yourself! You will regret not celebrating this milestone in your life. Go to your graduation, walk the stage. Congratulations!
So, it kinda sounds like this guy is a shitty friend to begin with. I’d say that “adults dont keep compulsive liars with a god-complex around,” but then I remember you’re just underaged kids getting drunk (illegally?).
Maybe re-evaluate your life choices and who you keep as company when sober. I dont know what else to really comment here because you’ve willingly put yourself in this situation that you shouldnt be in, consented all the way, and even were silly enough to get WALKED IN ON while going about this dumb foolery.
Take it as a life lesson, be thankful that there were no permanent consequences from the night, and remember this shame/embarrassment as a deterrent from repeating these choices.
Literally everything he’s done in this post, dude.
Oh god, if I were you I would just say my goodbyes right then and there
It's called the cycle of abuse. Nobody would stay with someone who is an asshole 100% of the time. Your bf loves terrorizing you and is just nice enough some of the time to keep his plaything around.
A farmer feeds his cattle well and keeps it healthy to not spoil the meat but the cow will still end on the butcherblock.
In a normal relationship you are supposed to feel heard and safe.
She thinks that I agreed to 2 – no more, no less.
Yeah ive told him in my eyes its cheating. Your wanting other women. But he still does it… then moans when i cant be bothered to dress up for him or make it exciting. Whats the point you lust over other women,???
!updateme
Are you dating the daughter, too? Why is she going out on dates with you?
More communication. Seems like maybe you two don't talk to each other about how you feel. Have you talked to him about how you feel when he doesn't call on the days he doesn't? Not that he doesn't call you but how you feel when he doesn't. Many relationships break up because they can't communicate.
I tried therapy. It didn't help. For my trauma that is. I am much better now by my own methods of dealing with it, but to this very day I have trouble opening up to anyone in person.
It sounds like a conditioned anxiety response. She needs to talk to a therapist about this. I feel for her but Comforting her every time this happens will just I force it. It is not healthy. Explain to her she needs to talk to someone about this and that you are not going to be able to comfort her when it happens but that you love and care for her and don’t want it to happen to her. Also don’t get angry at her when it happens, just give her space. You can say something along the lines of ‘I’m going to give you space, I hope you feel better soon’
I do think your bf is being a bit gross, want to put that up front.
Quick question about your post though, you've been dating him nearly a year and haven't had sex with him?
He thinks you aren't having sex because you are a virgin but really you aren't having sex for..why?
Even if he could get past the lying by omission thing, I have a feeling that he isn't going to be happy to find out you kept him waiting a year but have previously participated in hook up culture.
Giiirl, you are abusive. Please tell him everything so he can make an informed decision on whether he should stay with you
Trust me, being alone is better than being with the wrong man.
Yeah because having divorced parents is much worse than having a psychopath for a mom and a coward for a dad
Yesh, they forget who originally invented it.
Something I’d reply with ‘Stop talking about my body unless it’s something nice. This is effecting my self esteem. These comments can last a very long time in my mind. I don’t appreciate this talk.’
This talk is learned behavior and it can be stopped. every time he has something negative to say I would make sure I had a good line about him in my pocket too.
Pharmacy technician here, but the ratio split would be something like 6 tablets for 30 days (edit : with health insurance ). I see that one often. Thre is also goodrx. Maybe look into if the pharmacy has some kind of savings card.
Edit : that ~$1400 you speak of is the cash price.
Omg ?
We don't have free awards anymore so take this. ?
He’s being upfront with you, you not liking it doesn’t make it manipulative. I’m not saying that is a great relationship to go forward with, but if you don’t want this then you simply aren’t compatible and no one’s at fault. Just move on and find someone you don’t have to convince to be their gf.
Don’t convince him. Just say NO.
If he manages to buy something on his credit alone, do NOT help him.
For some reason I can’t read some of the comments on here?? I get the notification but when I try to see it, nothing!
Go with him to the gym when he has his session with her. Make him introduce you as his girlfriend. Then glare at her for the entire session. Be sure to tell her you’re looking forward to seeing her again when she has her next session with him.
He’s a freeloader. He’s already getting a free place to stay and he expects you to feed him too. He’s using you. If he wants to date you, he can do it from his own apartment.
Who is on the leasing agreement? If it’s just you, she can kick rocks. If both of you are on the lease, it’s more complicated.
You said your living situation is temporary so I don’t think any extreme measures are necessary, just wait her out for a couple months. If she isn’t willing to cooperate then just say you aren’t willing to babysit for her until you both come to an agreement. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep her warm.
Sounds like everything is fine but you’re just over thinking this.
Ew. Just ew.
Amd I'm not talking about your girlfriend's fantasy.
I'm talking about you.
You need therapy as in asap.
You're pathetic.
What is your problem? Im asking for advice
You just got done talking about how much he cares about the cat, how much the two of you do for this cat, and how willing he is to be a part of the extra care for this cat, and then you immediatly followed this up with saying he he has no empathy. I just don’t think both things can be true.
You may see this as a calling after this experience, but he may see it as an unfortunate diagnosis with this cat he loves, but not something he wants to do again. Caretaking for an animal like this takes a lot of energy, you said it yourself, energy that he is giving willingly. He may not want to use that kind of energy and worry forever. Moreover, this whole thing may make him very sad, and while he’s happy to give caretake now and feel that sadness, he is not chasing that sadness down with a desire to recreate it over and over. It feels like he is angry because you aren’t showing HIM empathy in that regard. Caring for one’s mental health does not make one a soulless ghoul.
He may want to spend time in the world with YOU once your beloved cat passes, instead of looking for another cat that utilizes all of this time, emotions, and energy. I hardly think that makes him a monster.
I would think a little harder on this and have a better conversation before deciding this is a deal breaker. It sounds to me like you made a declaration that made him feel that you did not take him, his emotions, feelings, energy, or wants into consideration. Hence him feeling angry and hurt.
There is a SIGNIFICANT likelihood that you have already sex with multiple partners who had herpes, whether they knew it or not. This person has it and TOLD YOU before any sexual intimacy came up. She is nervous, you are nervous. Put a condom on and have fun. She sounds like a good person
Listen, I'm the first person to come here and say that opposite sex platonic friendships can be absolutely fine. But like anything else, context matters.
Here, even if infidelity isn't happening, there's some things that are objectively inappropriate. First, why on earth is a 30 year old friends with a 19 year old. You've been together 6 months and you only say she's known him longer. So what, when he was 29 and she was 18? Or does it get even worse than that.
Then, she stays over his place every weekend. If we were talking about her staying over a male friend's house (who wasn't 30) on random occasions where it might make sense, I'd try to find a way to argue it's not a big deal. But explain to me why it's necessary. Does she on-line far away from him?
It then sort of becomes laughable (and I'm sorry, because I'm not laughing at you). She fell asleep in his bed with him? At this point, I have to assume you're just trolling. If you're not, fucking run my guy.
How long has this been going on for? Maybe he is really tired & stressed from work? You sound like you aren't even considering this is true.
It was weird, there was a stretch the night she went out with her friends that she wasn’t texting me. Obviously my first thought wasn’t that she was with another guy. I thought she was just out enjoying herself. The only reason I asked after 2 months was because I had a dream she cheated on me, and I just asked her when I woke up if she’s ever done anything with someone else while we’ve been talking/together. Her answer was no, never.
I'm saying this as a mom, block this guy on everything and run. He is a walking red flag, and his behavior will just get worse. Do you really want to deal with his issues and mind games? You deserve better than someone who lies to and manipulates you, strings you along, and puts you down.
This relationship sounds dead anyway, so leaving it makes sense. Why has your sex life been dormant for months? That seems like it’s the under laying issue at hand, yet it’s given no examination here.
“Sexually autistic” jeez☠️
Great advice, what do I do if he doesn’t want to sleep on the couch? He feels like it’s a punishment, but we only have one bedroom and one bed. And I’m not going to bed early only to have him come in the room at 3am to sleep while I get woken up.
Your therapist needs to be exchanged. It sounds like they’re getting ready to stalk you.
Hm I probably shouldn’t have used the term “fwb”, maybe “fuck buddies” would have been a better term to describe our relationship. We have never done any of these things. And yes I do always go over to his place but the reason for this is because he got a dui and can’t drive, which I’m well aware is definitely a red flag lol it’s been awhile since the last time I asked him when he’d be able to drive again. When I did ask him before he said “when I get the money to pay for everything” He doesn’t go down on me which is pretty disappointing, probably the only thing I don’t like and I don’t feel totally satisfied because of that.
Only valid answer.