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If you’re getting consistent feedback from multiple partners, it doesn’t matter what you think. In some way, you are falling short as a partner.
You need to first accept this, and seriously start a journey of introspection. Honestly, a counselor will help you a lot in this.
Some thoughts I have from what I read above. it’s not whether you are right or wrong. It’s that you’re always taking a position against them. To build a connection you want to feel like you’re engaging, connecting, and on the same side. When you challenge their statements as a pattern it disconnects. Also worth noting you are still really hung up on the accuracy of the statements in your post – that matters a LOT less than you think it does to most people. What matters is feeling connected, feeling supported, not feeling like you have to walk on eggshells to get everything right or else have it pointed out.
Forgot to mention that i cook and clean and pay in half the rent and everything. He is a nice guy overall but yeah
And there is every chance the wife won’t even believe OP—sounds like the BF is a pretty good actor
No easy solution. My parents ended having two bedrooms in a similar situation.
What is important is that you sit down and think this through – and make a solution beforehand. I understand why you feel upset. This comes through as your partner is very unsympathetic towards you and feel privileged because they has to work and is a light sleeper.
The problem is that although that might be correct – comments when you are woken up in the night are not really to be taken as a formal statement.
I suggest following. You decide that if there is a need for you not sleeping in the same bed – every second time you sleep in the couch and every second time they sleep on the couch. If they refuse- then there is clearly a lack of sympathy and understanding towards you. This need to be addressed. You have your issues and they have theirs. Both parties should have equal rights to the best sleeping situation.