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fiorella-sanz Public Chat Channel
Date: November 2, 2022
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Ok, how did you break her trust.
Wow! It's really that easy?! Damn. I should've done this 40 years ago.
She may be getting mixed signals from you. Cut her loose. She will be ok and so will you.
yeah before the weight thing even came in the unsolicited bodymod suggestions and refusing to touch her unless she’s shaved head to toe was it for me ???? this man is a loser who doesn’t sound like he’s even interested in respecting you (sorry). honestly I’m getting “it puts the lotion on the skin” vibes too. please do the self care of leaving this dangerous fool so you can sit and heal your head in peace.
Some people go for titles. Some don't. It depends. Some people want to solidly identify what they are to each other or how they present themselves to other people. Others just want to go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens.
I'm the latter. Your bf sounds like he may be like that too. You sound like you want a solid title and plan – and that is OK. There is nothing wrong with that.
But if he refuses to answer your questions – if he continues being vague – you're mismatched. You should find someone who has no problem committing to you.
Meh. I used to think that breaking up Face-to -face matters. Really, all that matters is that you break up. Good luck!
You don't. You say in your comments he's willing to help you do things and is a good communicator. He's willing to help you as long as he values you as a person, but the moment you don't align with his shitty opinions, watch it change. And he does sound like a good communicator– he's loudly, happily communicating views you don't agree with that aren't going to change because you ask nicely enough. So don't stick around.
There will always be people who are just as helpful, minus the misogyny. If he can’t change and you’re not okay with it, keep that in mind. There are plenty of wonderful people who don’t say those things ❤️
Did she only text it when you two online together? She's making a papertrail.
r/renters maybe?
Sure you have to be concerned about physical cheating, but how could you not consider what he already did cheating? If he believes there is nothing wrong with it, why would he only do it once? Why is he still lying? If you aren't convinced yet, insist on seeing his private messages. He will either refuse or delete anything incriminating. He probably already has.
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Did you read the edit? Thats crazy Nicegirl manipulative abuse
This relationship is weird. And your posting/commenting history is concerning. He’s a cheating porn addict? He sleeps… how many hours a day? Please explain what his positive traits are that make him worth this struggle. You should not feel energized as soon as he leaves, and he shouldn’t feel drained.
Thank you for thus
“Has not responded except to say she is sick” like she didn’t respond to me asking how she was feeling.
Keeping friends / family / partners from meeting each other is very much a red flag. The only part of this that’s understandable is keeping your family away from your partner if they’re abusive, but you need to make that issue clear to your partner.
Keeping your partner away from your friends is a red flag for sure.
“Sorry you don’t want to come anymore. We’ll toast to your birthday and tag you on Insta.”
AGREED!! we don't see the full story here on Reddit!
She was open and honest with you. You weren't official yet and it seems you didn't explicitly say you wanted to be exclusive when you were just hooking up. She did nothing wrong and was honest with you. The problem lies with you.
Exactly what I was thinking! I mean, who doesn’t find teeny weenie jokes a laugh riot?
Advice to fix it without terminating the relationship? Therapy is all I can say, intensive therapy.
😉
I really hope he’s not staying with at your mom’s place?
Scrolled too long to see someone point out this is a case by case situation.
I’d cut your losses personally, it’s only been a month and I sure as hell know I wouldn’t want to get dragged into that kind of rodeo.
You’re dating an influencer. I could just stop there ? what they do is post about things they think people can relate to. It has zero to do with your relationship and it does not mean he’s still pining away for his ex. It just means breakups are something everyone can relate to
Not sure where i saw it theres a lot of comments and i’ve lost it, so if true makes sense. if not and it was a misread, then it sounds like hes made up his mind anyway according to his edit which makes me feel like he didnt really want her there too badly
I was hoping it would help get his priorities straight. I figured a long break from everything he would either decide he misses us and wants to get the help he needs.. or he will realize he doesn't miss us and we won't come back. I'm not going to be treated this way anymore, and he's not listening to me. I feel like if I pack bags and leave for a while, it will really motivate him to get help.
Break up.
When you confront him, he’s going to hit you with a barrage of lies. “I never met up with them!!! It was just like porn to me!!!” “I’m addicted to porn!!” “You won’t do ____ so it’s your fault!!!” “I’m young and should be having the time of my life!!!” “Just wanted to see what was out there.”
All it boils down to is that your boyfriend is a cheater. You can drag this out for years and end it later, or you can accept that now and stop blocking your blessings.
It sucks, and I know you’re understandably hurting right now. But I’m in my 40s. Ive seen this exact scenario happen dozens of times to me and my friends. You know how many of them actually worked out and the guy changed? Zero. You know how many stuck with the guy, married and mad kids with the guy only to be unceremoniously dumped later? 7 off the top of my head.
When a cheater is caught they will beg and plead for forgiveness, make every excuse in the book. Gaslight you until YOU feel bad for even confronting them. Once everything calms down they go right back to what they what they were doing. Save yourself potentially years of heartbreak and stds.
Break up.
I think you move forward. Part of this detaching from his emotional well-being and accepting that if he chooses to end his life- it is his choice and the culmination of thousands of other choices he made (no family, no therapy, no job, no real mental health work).
He is never going to be in a place where you are going to feel safe to just leave. You need to accept that. At this point, you are just prolonging the indecision.
We currently go to couples counseling but rarely talk about the porn issue. He has tried to not watch porn for a month and couldn’t do it. He tried to just use his imagination for a month and couldn’t do it.
I have tried to fulfill his imagination and try to rewire his brain to view sex as something you do with a human being and not a million imaginary women on a screen, but idk if that’s possible. I think when we fuck he checks out a bit. He can’t fully relax or let go with another person there, even if it’s me. He views porn as a tool for relief and honestly I believe that bc he views sexual acts that way that it’s fucked with his perception of real sex.
The insecurity and immaturity waft around him like a cloud of axe Phoenix. Good on ya for leaving.
Nah, if you’re that age and you’ve been in a relationship that long, you would have probably kissed at least once. If not, it’d be for a reason – so you wouldn’t spring it on someone like that and not acknowledge it as important.
This is either a ‘funny prank’ situation gone wrong and stressing the poster out, or (more likely) a creative writing exercise.
I think I don’t fully understand what the issue is.
You want to spend more time together than she does? Is that the whole of your unhappiness? Otherwise, she treats you well & you get along?
If that’s the sum of it, you’re the only one who can decide if having her in your life spending only some time together is better than not having her in your life at all.
Reading your posts makes me feel like I am on a short lease. This feeling of total disrespect can’t be good for any relationship. You need to weigh the pros and cons.
Pay the $600 and then stop cooking/cleaning for him. This is not a traditional relationship at all.
This is abuse. It is intimidation and mental/emotional abuse. Do not tolerate it.
I forgot about the age! At 28?!?! OP needs to throw this guy out. This is not ok nor funny at 16, but at 28?
Also I get so annoyed when people act surprised that bathrooms can smell bad. Surprise! We don’t all consist of rainbows and rasperryscented bodily fluids
She was her guest, not yours. You just wanted to get back home and rest, you're not obliged to be cheerful all the time and entartain guests that YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WERE COMING. That's the key part, because if you did, you would be expected to be prepared at least a little bit, but it was just your wife's friend coming over, so let's just let them hang out. I don't understand why she's mad at you, you weren't rude, you weren't totaly silent, you asked what's up and even offered help in the kitchen.
Seems like you and your wife have a bit misaligned values, you should talk about that and come to some sort of a compromise.
I started watching HGTV when I had mine replaced.
He tends to become irritated and closed off when I ask. I know he’s burnt out but obviously that’s not an excuse for him to be that way. I just really wish I could lighten his mood so it didn’t feel like I was stacking problem after problem onto him. If that makes sense? When you’re exhausted, even the smallest task can feel monumental and I really understand since I’m going through the same thing as him. 🙁
I’ll take note, I’ve actually been wondering if it’s “stonewalling” but I think since it’s only started happening now – it’s more his way of avoiding and hiding from more work. Which again, I understand, it’s hard work right now.
I have hope that once the next baby is born and I’ve recovered- things will start improving. We just decided to choose a difficult path together and we are facing the consequences of our actions.
I just hate feeling the strain on our relationship. I think I have issues with feeling secure which I could definitely do with seeing a therapist for tbh. But I have seen a monumental shift in his demeanour with me. He feels cold towards me and I’m trying my best to be understanding but I just want that warmth back.
I’m bad at giving him space tbh, because I feel like he’s leaving me if I do. Which again is perhaps a good reason to see about therapy :/
I think the single therapy advice has actually been really helpful ? thank you! I’ll start looking into that!
And while I’m applying for my visa booking for hotel rooms all to deliver a break up message he’ll be thinking I’m going there to reunite with him. Not even a heads up?