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Follow me on twitter @its_braingirl to know when I will be live., 99 y.o.
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Date: November 26, 2022
Thank you!! The first person to actually come back with an answer for me without saying I’m toxic ?
Your making this waaaaaaayyyyyy bigger than it is.
That being said it’s your choice, so just do what suits you.
For each their own. I personally like having a partner. We take care of each other when we have energy or one of us needs it, i encourage him to buy the things he wants, he encourages me to buy the thing i want, it's much easier to tolerate our parents when we are together, and we get less chores cause we live! together. We are both slobs, so we don't care much about dishes in sink. We're just very compatible.
Interesting! Why do you hate touching?
To say the least, my father's actions and the fact I am autistic.
Men definitely do not share their emotions as much as women because of societal views, upbringing, and other factors, that I went through myself.
However, I'm not a doctor, and your best bet to find out what is happening is an appointment with a mental health professional.
Probably because she felt guilty for not trusting you, and she knew it's a “her” issue and wanted to put a stop to the negative thoughts without making you doubt her trust in you. ESPECIALLY since you both knew you were about to pop the question.
Also explains the blaming it on you, she doesn't want you to know how insecure she is.
Good luck on dividing the family income to pay retro and other child support. OP seems focused on the wrong things. OP you have a hell of a storm coming with all these strippers coming with kids to throw dueños into your family budget. I feel sorry for you but not at the sabe time.
LMAO wtf did I just read
I thought the weird, made-up rule that doesn't actually mean anything was “half your age plus seven”?
Well, step one would be to stop guessing.
You can't help letting something slip out now and then, but just…. stop? If you realize you're doing it in the moment, stop.
Also give him permission to stonewall you. Make sure he's willing to shrug, not answer, or say “I don't know” when you ask him stuff, and be sure you don't get mad when he does.
It doesn't feel like you're being led on, it feels like he's frustrated that you're putting a ton of pressure on him by guessing endlessly. Just show a little chill. It'll happen when it happens.
Thank you for your advice, would you mind elaborating on GSA? I have never heard of it.
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I mean, if you both got gifted the gift card, then that should have been money for something that you did together (as opposed to a budget for buying her Christmas presents).
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If your girlfriend is making you feel bad for her seeing her sister alone she’s gaslighting the fuck out of you.
Wait, what do you think “gaslighting” means?
Read through the comments. Wife pulls this kind of thing frequently. It seems to be her “go to”.
Why are you tolerating this behavior?
Wow, OP, that’s truly heinous of your husband to not give a shit about your recent rape but to then insist you keep the child.
I might be jumping off the deep end here…but are you sure the attack on you was random?? I just can’t figure out why he’d want to override your decision and see this as a “blessing” if he had nothing to do with you being raped.
Be careful.
So she’s a dominant and into humiliation kink and is fetishizing your race to get off…
Can’t say if it’s normal or abnormal but if you’re not comfortable with it then why do it
Well duh. Don’t be an ass and not tell her. The right thing to do would be to tell her cause if you didn’t and she found out you knew before or after the fact it might cause more damage then necessary tell her.
I’m sure she’s got more important things to worry about than texting Op tbh you don’t just get over a suicide attempt in a weekend
No this has been the only thing. I’ve never screwed up like this ever before. I don’t even know what I was thinking. There’s no excuse for it. She even said that I’ve been an amazing boyfriend and this happens. She said that just because of all the good I’ve done, doesn’t excuse this problem. I have a huge thing planned for her. I told her I have 3 phases of ways I’m going to get her back to just try and be cute and show her that I am very sorry. Phase 1 was a poem I wrote for her, which I sent. Phase 2 is tomorrow when we see each other I have a huge day planned, I have a night out of mini putt and bowling which I asked them to play music from the concert we were supposed to see (we didn’t go because she was so upset from me) and then I’m taking her out for dinner then I’m taking her to have some time out in this park. I also made 8 notes why I really like her and why she is amazing, along with a picture of a rose I drew which I’m going to place when I have a chance, either at night when she tells me to leave or if things go well and I spend the night, I’ll set them up in the morning. A trail of little letters with rose pedals leading to this picture of a rose. Phase 3 is I’m taking her on a trip.
What I do not get here is that all your comments are pushing back on the advice. You are not willing to even consider or try to understand what people telling you to figure something out with her.
So what is your goal with this post if you do not want to take the advice?
Are you hoping someone will agree with you, so that you feel better about yourself for being this selfish?
It sounds to me that you do not love her enough to figure out a small compromise by spending a half a day to have lunch with her family is seriously not a big deal.
She did it for you…(i do not care if you told her that she does not have to do it)
Unless you want this to be your life, probably with kida added to the equation sooner or later, you gotta run.
From what you're describing it sounds like early stages of trying to manipulate you into staying home with him, serving him all thw time. This can leas to you going out less often and losing friends (or your supprt system). This is how people get trapped in controlling relationships or worse.
Also, not to be rude, I'm around his age and dating a 25yo is such weird concept to me. There is too much development happening between 21 and 30, imo.
How long were you dating your first gf before u guys had sex? Did she also have kinda the same concerns as my gf?
Is this new since baby came around, or has it been going on longer?
If you've never had a relationship by age 27, in my humble opinion you should be done with crushes and take what is offered to you by sweet guy. It may last and it may not. You need to get moving, girl, culture or not.
Have you tried telling yourself that you’re a good person, they’re off limits and it’s never going to happen. Ever. So there’s literally no point in even entertaining the thoughts?
Brother.
Trickle truthing (telling a little of the truth at a time because you want to “not lie”) is lying by omission.
Yesterday they made out, today he gave her oral, tomorrow shs gonna say they had a pregnancy scare and that's why they stopped seeing each other.
This is deception. Yeah you can't say it's lying but it's deceiving you because she doesn't want to give you the full truth.
That, and her being MAD ABOUT BEING CALLED ON HER BS are both massive red flags.
The first says she won't give you the truth if she doesn't get pressured, and the second tells you that she won't take accountability for having deceived or misled you if she knows being angry will put you off.
Oh, he'll be the perfect mate for one of the multitude of women who actually don't enjoy sex all that much – if they can put up with his otherwise uncharming personality. But OP definitely needs to find a partner who's a sexual powerhouse like her – I'm glad she kicked this creep to the curb.
If this is even remotely true, it sounds like he's also neglecting his dog
Is this a proxy war for something else? Unequal division of labor, unequal or inconsiderate use of resources, you’re fighting over oil in the Middle East, etc.
You say you have great communication. Tell her you've got a sore dong and need a break.
Option 3 is at the end my comment 🙂
I’m scared I’ll feel that way (missing out on something special) if I do leave too. That’s why it feels so confusing and overwhelming for me. Head vs heart I suppose
I almost don’t believe that part or with that frequency. Feel like it was added to make her questioning whether he would still be with ex ok to ask.
Your bf is a lazy, bad lover, and it has nothing to do with ADHD. You're very young so I think there is room for improvement but he has to want it.
Our relationship looks like most relationships, with kisses and cuddles and love, just no sex.
Yes, she's learned that the partner who is supposed to love her is happy to exploit a power imbalance and is happy to traumatise her.
If the man was working his ass off in the bedroom to make it pleasurable and to get u off than I would say keep working at it but get some outside assistance but since it seems he just lays there without a care in the world than No “O” for u than no “O” for him, that should wake his ass up
You do realise you are second best dont you? He’s only with you until she changes her mind.
I doubt he loves you and he certainly has no respect for you if he can blatantly throw it in your face to have a party with the woman he really loves who isn’t you.
Why are you doing this to yourself? You need to work on your self esteem and dump the disrespect disloyal shite.
Yeah this is all bizarre. I’ve had many friends who have lost a parent and the other parent started dating within a few years. My friends were universally happy for them. Devastation and hurt are odd reactions here. Sounds like someone who loves drama.
I hope this is a joke post. Regardless – it’s up to each individual to decide how high or low they set the bar in finding a partner. Sounds like even she has a breaking point. Maybe couples therapy could help.
You are creep indeed. Do better next time
I'm hugging you digitally!
Oof. You basically guilted him into buying you a ring to save on health insurance. He likely wasn’t ready. And it likely felt like shit for marriage to have been presented in such a transactional manner
You should sit down with him. Tell him that the way things have gone have felt wrong. You’d like to take a step back and have a conversation about marriage in a more open manner. Ask him how he feels about it. If/when he sees it happening. Etc. share your feelings as well.
It is probably best to call this “engagement” off. Because apparently you wanted some kind of romantic engagement or marriage. But you approached this from a super transactional manner. You can’t have it both ways. You have to make up your mind.
But you should also “call it off” carefully. Discuss it with your boyfriend first so it doesn’t hurt his feelings. Make sure it’s actually what both of you want.
I really am having a hot time understanding how all of this has happened with you guys having such bad communication.
Why did he buy the ring when he wasn’t ready?
Why did you keep the ring on your key chain instead of talking to each other?
How did you let this progress so far when you say you’re not even in a rush to get married?
You guys need to work on your communication. Majorly. This is very unhealthy.
Also, OP you’ve mentioned he’s spent money during your whole relationship, aren’t you also involved in his spending? Have you saved any?
Doesnt religion and political identity overlap nowadays ?
I just wanna know why she started losing feelings all of a sudden like my age didn’t mater when I was for her in the hardest times i helped her basically with everything and the reward nothing a breakup possibly