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Date: October 14, 2022
Literally was just about to look this up lol
I don't think I'm gonna do any of that, im just gonna go in tomorrow and get tested for roofies and if it comes back positive I'll know what happened. Seems like a safer bet than risking what could happen
You don’t.
He’s still friends with the group, so he didn’t lose any of them at all. They too have had many problems with this girl bestfriend (she mooches off them and throws their stuff around when shes mad) Also id like to mention that hes not okay with me being friends with my ex/following my past flings. But he is allowed to do it because he says for him its ‘different’
Do you really know she is flirting with you though? It's surprising how often men are not good at reading this.
How do you know she is unhappy in her Marriage?
What do you like about her?
What would your first step look like?
I don't ask it kind of just comes up when she's flicking through her camera roll and most of the time we just laugh but every so often it'll linger in my head
What do you feel guilty about? You’re not in a relationship and you’re moving on by meeting others.
Do not wait for him to choose you, keep doing what you’re doing and the right guy will show up.
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Where do you think your wife’s level of comfort being very hot came from? It’s obviously not a big deal in her family and I see no issue with it. I do agree with you, as a man, not feeling comfortable taking a shower with your girls. What would be at eye-level might be too much for a kid.
Because he's 30, is dating you because you're young, and he doesn't respect you as an equal.
Why exactly did you think a 30 year old would be dating someone so young? No one his own age will put up with him.
He doesn't care what you think or feel.
Thank you for the advice. That seems to be what is being said. Sounds like I need to take the advice and move forward. This is what I was thinking Just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable.
He wants you to feel bad. You didn't even call the celebrity attractive, you just said you love him, which in context very obviously means you enjoy his work and like watching movies with him in them. Your boyfriend is actively trying to create a problem, when you've been together for three months, out of nothing. Does he feel threatened when you tell him you like ice cream?
Him having asked would be a dealbreaker for me. I'd never believe that he didn't resent me for saying no. I'd never feel like enough.
That's entirely different than beginning a relationship with different boundaries.
Well I am woman and I think OPs concern is valid. If my partner was gaining weight like this I would definitely not just look at it and accept it because I love them. I also hope my partner would help me get back on track and not just watch how I am gaining and gaining. I know OP talks just about the physical side of the issue but there is also health, fertility problem. For me love is also caring that my partner is healthy not just affecting them getting obese because “I should love them no matter what”.
Not just “shitty”, ABUSIVE. This is intentionally sowing self-hate to try to make her vulnerable and reliant on him and what he thinks of her. Seeking his praise which abusers will give sparingly and manipulatively (when she does what he wants probably), or not at all/nearly not at all. It’s intentional and many do this.
His physical threat to cut them off suggests something far worse than mental abuse.
I'm a Forgive Once person. This is a personal choice, not a moral imperative, and you may divorce with a clear conscience. For someone like me, the way forward looks like this.
Wife is a Never Apologize, Never Explain person, and IMHO she needs to do both. I suggest you offer Wife the opportunity to tell you the truth – all of it, from start to finish – without fear of payback. You'll ask questions when you must, but not comment. You'll contain your feelings, give yourself at least 24 hours to reflect.
I would then base my decision on whether her story shows any concern for your feelings, and anything that might reasonably be called an apology. If it does, I'd forgive her and take her back. If it doesn't, I would forgive her and divorce. I'd assure her that nothing she confessed prompted this decision. That all of that is forgiven, and you will take it to your grave. I'd explain my decision as simply an understanding that whatever her reasons for asking for reconciliation, love isn't one of them. That what she's proposing is a cold peace. That you gladly agree to peace, but if there's no love, it's best for you that there's no marriage.
I'm still sometimes upset by my decision– but no child had to suffer my inability to provide or be a parent AT THAT MOMENT. I was not in a place where I had secure housing or a long-term job. I could barely take care of myself. The choice I made wasn't for my benefit. It was so no baby had to suffer. I wasn't ready to be a parent at 28, and that was my choice.
I have children now. They're very wanted. Could I have another abortion? No. Probably not.
Am I glad I did have one? ABSOLUTELY! Do I regret it? NO WAY! Do I still sometimes get a bit sad? Yeah, once in a while. But I would choose the choice I made each and every time because no child should experience life without being wanted, cared for, and financially provided for. I was not in a place where I could have provided for that potential life.
This medical procedure is stigmatized and lots of people want to fight about it. It's purely a medical choice and nothing else. It's each woman's choice.
If it's too late where you online, please consider adoption or anything that will benefit this child. This isn't about you or the father anymore. This is about the child needing real adults to put it's needs first and care for it the best way possible.
He should've wore protection if he didn't want to have a kid or be financially responsible for one. No one should be forced to have anything done to their body that they don't want to. No one forced him to have unprotected sex with her.
You've said bangmaid multiple times in this post. I don't see anywhere op saying they online together or she cleans up after him.
I personally think it's a red flag because it shouldn't matter at all imo. Plus you're only 22. It's really up to you if you want to follow someone's rules for the rest of your life. We don't do that in my marriage.
?How ironic! He was such a creep
He doesn't need closure, he knows he was out of order and you wanting to avoid any future bullying is just a natural consequence of his actions. He's just mean and nasty, enjoy life without him.
I have in fact thanked him every time I see a hellscape of a post.
Oh man, don't feel any stress about this decision at all. You absolutely did the right thing. That is the craziest response I've ever heard about to caregiving to someone with a disability. That girl has a lot of learning to do.
Hahhaah yeah. True. We were just too different. It sucked and still does. It sucked to find out I was never his priority. What sucked more was him telling me he has/will always love me, but his actions spoke years ahead. How can a person say they love you, but always forget or ignore what you need/wish?
That's awesome to hear! I think the therapy will help you to kinda sort through all these thoughts and emotions. One recommendation with therapy, go in with goals for yourself. And don't be afraid to look for a different therapist if the first one doesn't mesh right… It can take a bit of work sometimes to find a good one.
Honestly, he sounds like a good dude. Does he know exactly what you are dissatisfied with? Is there something you could have communicated or done sooner to have avoided feeling this way now?
I think the best route forward is to dig deep, examine your feelings, and communicate with him your appreciation for his support, talk up his good qualities for you, but that you are unsure this will work out and that therapy is going to help you process what you are going through and you can't guarantee that y'all will be together afterwards.
It's a difficult talk, but a respectful one. It lets him know where you are at, why you want to fight for the relationship, but allows him the opportunity to walk if this is not the parth he wants to take with you.
Your focus is going to have to be on yourself for awhile, and that can be very hot for a partner to go through.
Hopefully this has helped a little!
Except this was a type of club, not just a friend group.
And we only have OP's side. The fact he got kicked out implies she made a scene and the easiest way for them to get rid of the crazy lady is to get rid of the reason the crazy lady is there.
No sane person invites themselves to someone else's club activities for “couples bonding time”.
Are you his girlfriend or his mother? Stop falling over someone who doesn't give a shit.
Absolutely not. She is a whole ass grown woman. She can wake herself up. And if she can’t, it’s still her responsibility to figure out how to handle it.
It’s HER responsibility and HERS ALONE.
Again I would still disagree. Alcohol is still a depressant so having it every single night will affect your mental health. Plus you know, cancer. The only health benefits (from wine only) come from antioxidants that you can get from food that won’t do the other bad stuff to you.
Don’t get me wrong, I drink occasionally. But alcohol is a pretty serious drug: more people would realise this if it wasn’t so ingrained in our culture. So I don’t think anyone should drink every day (though it’s a free world so do what you like).
Find a good strip club and take her with you. You both throw cash, and you both get lap dances. Problem solved.
So how did you think this was gonna go sis
We would be able to see all of these red flags from the moon!!
Well, if i'm wrong this will be absolutely devastating. But in a way i'm obviously unable to express with my words, i know without any doubt that i am right.
'cause this was the first comment I saw. . I mean, what are some good reasons she didn't tell him. None of them are good one way or the other. In the end, weather she feels unsafe (a him problem), or she cheated (a her problem, probably), or she's some mental health issues (also probably a her problem), it boils down to a communication problem (a THEM problem).
Yes it’s true…men don’t care about the things I have to offer lol. What ARE the main things they do care about? 1) sexual attraction 2) that she’s warm and kind 3) that she leaves space for him to pursue/doesn’t seem needy?
You can't be serious lmao. She's a 22 year old who just tripped and fell. If she was older I'd understand, but unless she was crying out in pain then checking on the several hundred dollar piece of equipment would be the majority of young men's first reaction, no matter how much in love they are. OP is being dramatic, she got a little hurt whoop-de-doo she isn't a child.
lol thanks
Far more likely it’s due to changes in her physiology than yours.
Noses and ears grow throughout one’s lifetime. ( That’s part of what makes old people look old.). Penises, not so much.
One possible exception to that is weight loss: reducing the fat pad in front of the pelvic bone can “un-bury” some amount of shaft length. Doesn’t change girth, though.
Yeah. No shit. This is obviously bullshit.
That literally sounds like a nightmare scenario out of a tasteless comedy.
They treated you like an animal and totally defiled an activity that's sacrosanct… using the restroom. If that's something they consider as a joke then they've shown that they don't respect basic human boundaries or your feelings. Your BF also showed that he doesn't really value you or your feelings by how he acted after the fact. (Also, he and his friends sound 16 not 28 lol)
To me what they did would be unforgivable and I'd never want to associate with any of them again.
This is textbook “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
This is a guy who will complain that you're embarassing him when you're in labor and screaming. Do you want that to be your person?
That was exactly the problem..he acted like he cared about me so much, but he just couldn't get past that part of me. I remember him telling me that I was probably never going to feel “completely ready” and like yes, I know, but also, that's MY call, NOT YOURS.
Unless you want to online your life with a crappy sex life leave him he doesn't care about you having your orgasm at all.
It is a valid reason to break-up, it's draining your life away. But none of this is normal dog behaviour, you should talk to a vet or dog trainer/behaviourist if you want to save the relationship, and the doggy, he can't be happy living like this either 🙁
I would add that I don’t think she cheating on me is the natural course here. This woman is head over heels for me overall. I’ve never felt so loved in my life. But that’s I guess why it hurt even more coming from her.
I found a tube of fungicide in her medicine cabinet. Fungus? This guy makes so many assumptions if he walked out of Apollo he would say, the Moon is made of Oreo powder. Add to this list if you want, This guy makes so many assumptions he brought a racoon inside and posted lost dog posters. This guy makes so many assumptions, I said “your moma so fat” and he responded before I could. This guy makes so many assumptions…..
Also he is completely ignoring that she is much more likely to be assaulted by someone she knows than a stranger on the street. A fact she likely knows. And literally which he just proved to be true.
Man I don't know how I would ever handle shared finances. I've always been the breadwinner and just expected folks to take care of their own bills and I pay for any food, trips or gifts and help out in emergencies. When living together or married I still just pay all the bills myself.
Modern dating and finances have become so complex. I'm not sure how y'all make it work with the egos involved.
You sound like a good man and she sounds like a good woman. I hope you work it out. As for me – my answers are not good. I always work so much the relationship suffers.
This is exactly how my previous relationship started. Eventually he made me get rid of all my clothes until I eventually dressed the way he wanted. At some point he was making me bend over in front of him every day before I went to work to make sure he couldn’t see down my shirt. It wasn’t until 4 years in that I realized how much he controlled my life and that I was being emotionally abused. People like this don’t change. Control is not love.
Bro like others have stated here it’s been 5 years, if you’re not sure that you want to marry her than you really don’t want to marry her, how much time do you really need? Don’t waste anymore of her time, if you cannot promise her marriage at the end than you’re wasting ur time and especially hers. She’s 28, most women at that age want to get married and want to start a family, if you cannot give her that than leave, let her find the one that is right for her and the one that is willing to marry her. Women also have a biological clock, if she wants to have babies, plz don’t waste her time.
Just don’t use the words “shit or get off the pot” if you propose.
What?
Also he might fear
that he might get his head bitten off in a very mature way before getting his hind quarters kicked and asked if he were sober?
(Rightfully so, a bit).
You sound pretty similar to me man, look into what an INFJ personality is. I would look into it, and I would also take some time to think about whether or not trust can be rebuilt in your particular situation.
You're braindead.
Update – she messaged my friend back. She said “vea i just don't wanna be apart of it rily anymore. :// but ya he had a thing with me for months now on an account called “——”?? like posting anime stuff. but i never thought he had a gf till i searched around for a girl or anything. i don't wanna be a problem so :(“
A big part of me doesn’t believe parts of this, like the fact that she didn’t know he had a girlfriend. On one account their was a bunch of photos of me, and on his amine one he talks about me by name in a lot of the posts and definitely the most recent ones so nothing was hidden on his page. From his words, he made it clear she knew that. And has said that she would say things like “I know you wanna save it for your girl I just have so much going on”