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Nice Squirt for you [1221 tokens remaining]
Date: September 28, 2022
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And I never resolved it with my ex husband (married 20 years!) He was content with 2x/year ?Now I’m with a great guy who matches my libido….the OP should not settle. Especially if he’s looking to settle down and have kids, as the child bearing, and early kid-rearing years are naturally less active in this department.
Go with the man of your dreams and be happy…maybe one day your family will understand. Live! life for yourself. Life is nude enough but to be unhappy is even harder.
I think it also depends what the childs relationship is with her Bio mom too.
how can i miss you if you wont go away?
the girl i was seeing used to message me every day. she got mad i didnt initiate. i told her 'if you dont message me i will message you every 2-3 days' 2-3 days is my ideal pace of communication. not every day. and if you wait those 2-3 days then i will be the one initiating.
for some people tho its more like 2-3 weeks lol
thats cool. maybe those people just arent for you. find people who match your energy.
You don't know what **** you're talking about when it comes to OP's situation.
Absolutely do NOT take this man back. This isn't about a quirky situation where everyone misunderstood something. At its core is trust and your fiancee Doesn't trust you. Your friends sexual preferences are irrelevant. Your fiancee doesn't trust you and listens to other people instead of you.
Find someone better and keep your BFF
Yup
As long a there isn't violence involved… it can get solved
You're just not compatible, man. The longer you let this go on, the more resentment is going to build up between you. The fact that she's lying about it and hiding it is a bad sign, and likely would get worse in the future rather than better. She doesn't respect you or your feelings, and you deserve better than that.
Zack went to see if the grass was really greener, but it wasn’t.
Obviously “an adult conversation” will happen when the time is right. I’m curious what you think this sub is for?
We all have life going on. But you wouldn't even have a life if it wasn't for them. So get your butt in gear and make your parents a priority
Lol he sounds like a shit husband
Gross groomer
I can set boundaries with my family and stick to them. And my family is super chill and respectful. Sometimes they can be pushy when trying to feed you or get you to come to a family function but that’s it.
The issue is more like my gf feels like she gets steam rolled by family. They just want to talk to me and not her. I don’t think that’s true 100%, but I can see why she thinks that. But when we go over to her moms house all her mom wants to do is talk to her and I let them do their thing.
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Restraint is another form of physical abuse. You should tell him as much. Don't take all the guilt here on yourself.
Right because you literally refuse to have the actual conversation. Grow up.
So it sounds like you've been pretty isolated from friends because of him. I can understand how it can be hot to leave when you don't even know where to go or have anyone to turn to.
Maybe a friend or coworker can help you out. Or look into a women's shelter or a church program. If you can find some support to go somewhere then it can be easier to get out. Make a plan so it doesn't feel too scary and big to leave. There are a lot of programs and people will to help others get out of bad relationships.
I've been with someone controlling like this and I understand how nude it is to leave. But please believe all of us when we say you have so much life left to find someone better and discover yourself and be happy. It's not a waste of ten years, it's opening the rest of your life up to friendship, and self discovery and healthy relationships. This isn't love, it's just scary to get out of your comfort zone, but if you rip the band aid off, it will get better over time. It can take some time to heal but I promise people heal from long term relationships like this and find happiness in the end.
Your mom sounds insane. You haven't needed her permission to move out for like 9 years. Just leave before you waste more of your life.
Sure doesn't sound like you've forgiven him.
Him tampering with the condoms is rape. Don't salvage this
Maybe move to a safer area then
“fake” is a very subjective and flawed term.
People don't like bodies that look fake. Meaning that you immediately notice it's plastic surgery, or botched plastic surgery.
Just look at how many people say “no makeup looks better” and when they give examples of no makeup, it's basically always a “no makeup – makeup” look. Makeup so subtle you often aren't aware it's there.
But Completly bare faced most people see as less atttactive.
Also, there is a difference between what you jerk off to, and what you would want in a partner.
The main issue here is that he's an addict who can't control his finances. He should get help for that and consider giving up if he can. If he's going to interviews high or smelling like weed then that won't be doing him any favours.
You might be able to shake him into action not only by leaving (valid option if you want to take it), but by putting tighter controls on your own finances and splitting food costs etc 50/50.
Detail request: what’s the bachelor party? Is this like a scenic camping trip? Or is this like 5 days of partying and debauchery? Are people coming from overseas to attend just the bachelor party? If they’re coming from a different continent-perhaps that does justify a slightly longer trip…
Jesus, some of those responses were brutal. A lot of good advice too, thankfully but damn.
Glad things are looking up for him/them at least. Hope he’s doing well now.
Did you not read the part where she wants to be a mom but can’t have kids part?
Talk to a divorce lawyer and see what they recommend.
Could be a couping thing. Or maybe she likes the way it feels? It's not always about how she got it. Or who gave it to her.
There isn't nuance, an unconscious person can't consent.
You can leave, even with a child . I know it feels insurmountable but you can. Your mental health, your child need you to leave if you’re not feeling safe, respected or valued. I don’t know if you have to leave but you can, and should, if he is hurting you. So you feel safe feeling him these are deal breaking boundaries, regardless of what you have acquiesced to j the last? If he is a true follower of BDSM, it’s you that has the power. You say yes or no to what is acceptable. It may have been yes in the past, now it is no. His only options are to accept/Agreee or decide the change in dynamic isn’t acceptable to him and move on.
Please, seek help if you cannot safely have this conversation with him to get you and your child out of this situation. I can’t help but think that he was a grown ass man in his late 30’s, you were barley 18 when you met him…..and that he has been grooming you for almost 2 decades. He isn’t a good man.
You can leave, even with a child . I know it feels insurmountable but you can. Your mental health, your child need you to leave if you’re not feeling safe, respected or valued. I don’t know if you have to leave but you can, and should, if he is hurting you. So you feel safe feeling him these are deal breaking boundaries, regardless of what you have acquiesced to j the last? If he is a true follower of BDSM, it’s you that has the power. You say yes or no to what is acceptable. It may have been yes in the past, now it is no. His only options are to accept/Agreee or decide the change in dynamic isn’t acceptable to him and move on.
Please, seek help if you cannot safely have this conversation with him to get you and your child out of this situation. I can’t help but think that he was a grown ass man in his late 30’s, you were barley 18 when you met him…..and that he has been grooming you for almost 2 decades. He isn’t a good man.
He sounds insecure and doesn’t sound like he’ll have your back.
You can leave, even with a child . I know it feels insurmountable but you can. Your mental health, your child need you to leave if you’re not feeling safe, respected or valued. I don’t know if you have to leave but you can, and should, if he is hurting you. So you feel safe feeling him these are deal breaking boundaries, regardless of what you have acquiesced to j the last? If he is a true follower of BDSM, it’s you that has the power. You say yes or no to what is acceptable. It may have been yes in the past, now it is no. His only options are to accept/Agreee or decide the change in dynamic isn’t acceptable to him and move on.
Please, seek help if you cannot safely have this conversation with him to get you and your child out of this situation. I can’t help but think that he was a grown ass man in his late 30’s, you were barley 18 when you met him…..and that he has been grooming you for almost 2 decades. He isn’t a good man.
Uh any ham I get from a girl I like is the best ham. There is no bad ham sandwich only disrespectful and non gracious eaters. I personally prefer a messy ‘sandwich’ and will go to town on any ham I get regardless.
Fucking leave her bro.
not me being named alexa?
I mean… she didn't do anything wrong unless you two had agreed to be exclusive or she had told you she wasn't hooking up with anyone else. There is absolutely no reason not to trust her unless she lied about it and it does not sound like she did. If you can't handle knowing your gf hooked up with another guy when you two were not in an exclusive relationship than that's something you have to decide, but you really need to talk to people if you have boundaries like that.
I’m so glad you were in my house during the conversation so you can give me a play by play of exactly what happened. I demanded nothing from him. I asked him to read it once and then I told him how it made me feel that he wouldn’t. But go on and continue to explain my own situation to me. Now fuck off retard
You are right, she did not communicate the issue. Not at first. She gave up without trying. And she has apologized for that and regrets having not come forward sooner before making another connection. And unfortunately as far as finances, I am a full time student involved in multiple extra curriculars and only work part time, and couldn't work full time right now if I wanted. I have little money saved and am somewhat reliant on her for financial support right now.
Take a taxi it would probably cos less than feeding three from the fast food place even.
Why haven't you told your mom that you will not visit while he is not invited?
Thank you for your comment! I would like to clarify that I want kids more than anything else, almost desperately. The dog is honestly and truly my only reason for wanting to wait. It just isn’t sanitary. And though I’m not a neat freak, I think it’s really gross to have a baby in an environment like that. I have been mentioning it for years but never had a real reason to push hot because we weren’t planning on starting our family quite yet. Now we are though, so the problem is sorta coming to a head. I adore my wife, so I usually just let her have her way if it’s not life changing. But this is just a really big thing for me. She just refuses to talk about it because it upsets her.
There are several techniques for this, i will give one here but modify it as needed to be effective for you.
First of all, you have a subconscious mind that is child -like in nature. I recommend treating this “inner child” as you would as if it were you own physical child. It needs a lot of love and reassurance.
Second, make a habit of talking to your inner child and letting it know you really love it. You need to establish a relationship with your inner child, just as you would with anyone else. Lois Hay recommended using a mirror to talk to your inner child. Whatever works. The main thing is to not just tell your inner child you love it, but really feel the love when you communicate. When your inner child feels loved, you will react to the external world with a lot more love and a lot less fear.
Another thing: your emotions are how your inner child communicates with you. So don't ignore them by tensing up your body and suppressing them. Instead, let your body relax, breathe deeply and fully feel the emotions. This will show your inner child that it has been acknowledged, and you will be able to release the emotions. Emotional baggage is simply emotions that were suppressed insead of being released. Emotional baggage will lead to triggers, but when emotions are released the triggers will disappear as well.
and it also takes everything literally. If you say something like: “I can't ever do anything right” this inner child will take you literally and start sabotaging your life. So so one is to always think positive thoughts. You're not trying to
Your EX boyfriend pursued a virgin 10 years younger than himself because you were easy to coerce, control and manipulate. He has been doing that to you your entire relationship. He doesn’t get to dictate that this relationship must continue and that you aren’t allowed to break up. Tell him it’s over, block him in every format he contacts you through, tell him that continuing to communicate with you will be treated as harassment and stalking and that you will go to the police if he continues. Get a doorbell camera and document all communication after you dump him again. This man is an abusive predatory creep. You should also contact your local domestic violence resource centre for support in leaving this situation. If he had keys to your home, change the locks. Tell your workplace that he is no longer your boyfriend and that he is harassing you and to call the cops if he comes to your work place.
This. Maybe show your boyfriend your post history and he will save you the trouble and break up with you since you don’t seem to be able to grasp that you guys aren’t good together.
No of course it doesn’t. But you never know who’s nuts until they’ve already exposed it. I’m not saying they should immediately go to the cops. I am saying they shouldn’t just delete it. I even agreed they shouldn’t read it. I mention it because it’s helped me specifically twice. And when escalation happened I had that paper trail. If there’s nothing further obviously don’t escalate it.
I hope you get beat up
I understand that it is unsettling for him. But I can stand hypocrisy.you could have wTch porn together. Many people of gender dream of that ki d of course.plicity. you had all it take.
My guess is that his sexual trauma are not mended enough to have a real life relationship.
I wouldn’t talk to you either after you spewed that misogynistic drivel
Not as weird as you trashing your relationship with your own sister for a guy who just saw you as a easy lay.
Vatican Roulette is not a birth control method. She will become pregnant eventually. Are you ready to be a dad? If not time to find a new GF.
INfO: why is he off work sick?
Oh. Yeah girls flirt with me, but I never say anything because I wouldn’t want to hurt her or make her jealous
Has he cheated early on in your recovery and got some that he doesn't want passed to you? Because it sounds like he cheated and got something he doesn't want passed to you so you don't find out and is using the excuse of putting you on a pedestal.
Revenge porn is illegal in a lot of states around the world. You should serve her a nice cup of legal mess and a restraining order.
Treat you like shit. Then bring you flowers. Wash, rinse, repeat. That’s how the cycle begins.
Because young people dying tragically doesn't ever happen, right?? lol I think some of y'all been on Reddit for too long
I would like to second this statement.
Any experience in hiring one?
You handle it by walking. 4 years isn't a major age gap normally but when it's straddling 20….especially in his favour, it implies he's looking for a doormat. He wants to see how much of your dignity you're willing to give up for a compliment from him and he's going to keep making “jokes” every time. Leave before he does any more damage to your self esteem. And then PLEASE take the time you need to get right with yourself before trying again. Otherwise you're going to pull another predator like this.
You're actually the only comment on this post who hasn't threatened to throw me in horny jail. Thank you for being a kind person
100%. It's wrong in every way. The gender of who is what old doesn't/should never matter. Here in ?? our legal age for everything is 18yrs.
You know what to do, you can't have both
I grew up in a very traditional household and my father never told my mother to quit her job (even though she only works part time). I mean… he was jobless for many years but that‘s another story. She takes care of the household and works part time, they don‘t share their money but they pay different things (for example my dad pays for electricity and water etc. and my mom for groceries, they don‘t pay rent because we own an apartment).
Otherwise they wouldn‘t have enough money. And I‘m proud of my mum for doing both and not letting my dad tell her what to do.
My whole point is: You can do both. Both of you can do both (household and work). If he doesn‘t realize that and literally tries to force you giving up your job, I‘d really reconsider the relationship.
he seems to just find it really, really funny
Personally, I wouldn't want to date someone who found casual sexual assault “really really funny.”
Thought I believe your opinion on what is acceptable to say to your S/O is wrong, I appreciate you sharing your opinion
Ding! Ding! Ding! Best response to something I’ve read on here in awhile!
In a reply OP.said she told him she longer takes drugs . The evidence suggests she's lying
I don’t really like to be woken up by people I didn’t expect crawling into my bed. My room is “my space” and used to be my safe haven when I got out of an abusive relationship. I’ve worked hot in therapy and was intentionally single a number of years until I met my fiancé. It’s been a little nude making my space into “our space” now. But I think I’ve come a long way. Maybe I’m more sensitive about it bc of that. But my kids always knock and that’s the kind of privacy I expect in our bedroom. And I also expect my fiancé to respect that.