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Ginger, 31 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Ginger
Date: October 14, 2022
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Damn looking at all the old responses, everyone had a crappy take on your situation telling you to immediately break up for your own “self respect”.
I'm glad you spoke with her because it's all about communication. Best thing to do is be on her side and make sure she's feeling loved.
You are right about him not loving you. Abusers are incapable of loving their victims. He might love to see you hurt, loves to manipulate you, loves to abise you, but he doesn't care about you.
Sell the house and stay away from this person.
I imagine you all undress in the bathroom, if you’re taking a shower or bath, right? A long hair could’ve come from anywhere (especially daycare), gotten stuck on someone’s clothing and ended up in the shower/bath when undressing.
Understand her concern but hope she lets this go (& you really are telling the truth).
He is showing you who he is. Believe him.
They have been refusing to buy anything for themselves for the past year, and unemployed because of the pandemic since they have health conditions that put them at risk. I know it's kinda outrageous, but they would never buy themselves something so nice and they deserve to be spoiled a bit!
Yes, that sounds unhealthy.
Obviously if you’re frustrated with your partner and they press you, and in return you say “I am not in the mood, can you please give me some time”. They should respect that.
Although, If you always default to extreme space, lasting hours to days.. that’s unhealthy. You cannot completely shut out your partner because you’re upset.
If your partner is constantly make you upset, maybe it’s time to reconsider things.
But you should be able to decompress these feelings better where it’s not resulting in the extreme option.
When someone shows you who they are, you should believe them.
He's obviously lied to you multiple times with no real reason not to continue to do so, because what repercussion has he experienced? His family lies for him as well, so that seems pretty systemic and not likely to change.
Worse, to me, he has experienced a pain and is happy to share with you that exact pain. With someone obviously content to go around your back and help him hide it.
This is the rest of your life, and if it gives you anxiety then it likely should, and it will likely never change. Why would it? You are about to have a kid and then will have even more ties with him. And this will be the behavior he shares with your kid.
If that bothers you at all, move on. I'd take further steps to protect your child. Get a free legal consultation. Don't list him as the father and see if you can avoid him having any parental rights if he tries to force a continuing relationship with you through any acknowledgement you voluntarily or accidently give by listing him as the father.
Right now it is up to you what you will accept from him. Once you legally share a child it will not entirely be up to you, and given what he's already done to you, and how he treats you I would be more worried about having him permanently in your kids life.
She has a white hair, presumably from stress.
Exactly, “If that makes you uncomfortable, you can go spend 2,000 on a bed for me as a gift that i will keep if we break up.”
Breaks are stupid. In my eyes, breaks to find yourself, aka have sex with others is no different than cheating. Might as well call a time out or grab the remote point it at your partner and click the pause button.
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Sounds like you’ve got issues that will arise in future relationships either way, so why leave someone you feel right with instead of seeking help with the issues? Nothing will change until get some professional help, doesn’t need to be therapy, but it could be, could be medicine, etc. No shame in it
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Your boyfriend needs to be made aware that he is negligent in the care of his dog. The poor thing is probably bitey due to being under stimulated (like you said), and is also uncomfortable with his nails, and clearly lacks structure. There are no bad dogs, but there are BAD OWNERS and your boyfriend is not ready for the responsibility that comes with caring for his pup, let alone two if you move in with him.
Let’s look at it another way: your dog is clearly trained, well mannered, gets proper outdoor time, and is well loved. As such he behaves and listens. Why would you place your pup into the care of someone who has already proven to be what amounts to an absentee dog father? This man doesn’t clean up after his dog. He doesn’t walk his dog. He doesn’t train his dog. And you, checks notes want to start a life with him?
I won’t say break up, but I will say don’t move in with this man. He isn’t ready to care for another human, he can barely care for a dog. Why would you think he’d be willing to share in chores or pet duties when he’s not even doing this in his own home? Not to mention the way his dog might react to yours when they’re living in the same space.
His dog needs to go into serious training. If he’s 2 he’s still a puppy and there’s still room to learn and grow. It’ll be naked and will more than likely need to be intensive but it can be done. And it SHOULD be done before you guys set foot into a home you share together. If he refuses to get his dog help, then I think you should reevaluate your relationship. I could not be with someone who would be okay allowing their dog to on-line such anxiety induced life.
then you know the answer
You wasted 11 years
you are in a relationship with someone who prefers this approach, knowing the problems and limitations
Two 30-year-old adults seeking support from their mother
Honestly yeah it’s a little weird but if that’s the thing her friend group gets up to and it’s non-sexual then have at it
I stopped reading at my bf (29) & I (19) girl he’s trying to control you cause your younger than him. He ain’t the man for you.
yes, thats the point :/
Yeah I also feel like a fool now…
You say you’ve been together for years? This should’ve came up from the start. If she was shocked about you already being kissed she’s probably going to be very upset about you not being a virgin. And she will probably feel betrayed that you didn’t tell her already.
Why does your wife not want you to go? How big of a part did your ex play in your life?
What are you waiting for? Can’t she just get a pregnancy test?
I’m sorry but I couldn’t imagine rehoming a clearly dangerous animal. Maybe it’s because I grew up on a farm, but it’s clear to me that dog needs to be put down. If something doesn’t give soon, your hand is going to be forced and I assure you, it will be devastating. I’ve seen exactly what a large dog can do to a small child. Please. Protect your baby.
As a sober 'problem drinker' who comes from 4 generations of alcoholics/problem drinkers, whose brother just suddenly died too early from alcohol use…I said for years that my alcohol use was not healthy but I was not an alcoholic. I used that to feel better about my drinking when, in truth, it wasn't a get out of jail free card. My drinking was unhealthy. Period. Full stop. I was grieving the loss of my murdered child and I felt entitled to my drinking. I'm only saying this to explain that we all have reasons for our drinking. We have trauma, lack of coping skills, predispositions to alcoholism. But if any of the following are true, it's time to stop.
Makes you miss important functions like class or work. Causes you to avoid family or friends and become isolated. Makes you feel depressed, angry or violent. Causes you to spend money you don’t have and creates financial troubles. Disrupts your relationships with family and friends. Causes you to make unsafe decisions, such as partaking in unsafe sexual relations with someone you don’t know. Causes you to do something illegal and/or get arrested due to your behavior. Causes you to drive under the influence. Causes you to have blackouts.
Calling your girlfriend 'rapey' then not remembering it is disruption of his relationship.
OP, you're saying “our relationship is the best I've had.” My therapist told me once that the best I ever had didn't mean it was actually healthy. You can see there's problem when you say, “Our relationship is 100% healthy, except for 10% of the time,” right? And if your boyfriend can't see it, that's a huge feature of problem drinking. My brother (who just died due to alcoholism) used to call me up drunk and tell me he was going to commit suicide (only he described in a horrific way) every night. Come morning I was physically sick with worry. I have extensive health issues and had to have brain surgery. This was tanking my health. But my brother was fine. Didn't remember a thing. Until night came. I asked him to remove the weapons in his home and he didn't see the point. Your boyfriend's accusations are his weapons and they need to be removed.
No
All good. She currently has a FWB. I don't think it's a good idea either. My being okay with it is a product of my commitment to this relationship, which makes the situation difficult.
It's because youre dating a washed up, post wall 32 yo woman whom nobody else wanted
Sorry you're going through this. I know you're not in a great mental state right now but prepare yourself for worse things to come. None of us are getting a good vibe about him from what you've written and the hive mind here is scary accurate sometimes.
You don't get cancer from sex. It's not an STI
Don't be with someone who demands you discontinue your favorite hobbies. That's really all there is to it.
You are completely correct. He knows about my mental health issues. Hence why we made these promises. But I will talk to him again… Just don't want to lose him.
As someone who has worked with DV victims, it is actually incredibly hard to leave.
I want to believe him because I do truly love him, but I don't know if I will ever fully trust him again, or if we will ever get back to how we were before all of this
I mean, you can't. Because nothing has actually changed.
Since the beginning she made it clear: if he left you she would be with him. You say she was unreceptive but to me it is the opposite. She outright offered a relationship.
However he made it clear that he wants the cake and to eat it too. He wanted to be with you but also free to pursue her. For whatever reason he is obsessed with cheating and specifically with her.
So, of course when you leave him he freaks. Because he never actually wanted to be with her, not in a 'real' way. Because if he did he'd have left you years ago and gotten with her. Instead he just liked the game, using her, and you, in the process.
So in my eyes this isn't about 'believing' anything. This is just him doing what he always does, just the same as the previous times you caught him. He likes his little life with you, he just also likes jerking her around. And there is absolutely no reason at all to assume this will actually change anything. If anything it will just reinforce in his mind just how far he can push the boundaries.
I am not at all surprised by the extra background on this guy. You are doing the right thing by getting away from him, and the previous commenters were being ridiculous when they accused you of fishing for compliments. It was painfully obvious you were just joking around and just about any answer other than rating you would have been fine.
this man will start physically abusing you very soon. he has anger issues, he's controlling and he expects you to submit to him. you are walking into a nightmare right now. with his ultimatim, he's giving you an out, so please take the out and never speak to him again. i'm serious.
No, this is the best way. I’ve never had a man follow up with me after not getting a text because he already worked through his anger without me present. He most likely will not approach her again.
Should my partner (38F) try to force me (40M) to post on Social Media?
No, partner shouldn't be forcing you to do anything.
I don't publicly acknowledge our relationship
So what? So long as you aren't running around denying the relationship. There's no “rule” or the like that says you generally need “market”/”advertise”/”announce”, nor to a large extent even disclose your relationship or relationship status. I know for the most part, Social Media and all that crud, about the last thing I want to be doin' on there is posting/announcing my relationship status or changes thereof. So-called “Social” Media is quite sufficiently anti-social as it is – don't need to be feeding it more material that can be abused.
She is deeply unhappy at the fact that I don't post about us
Oh well, she can post on her stuff all 'bout y'all (within reason) if she wants, but there's no requirement that you do so. Now, if you were posting “He, single here, lookin' for a good time!”, that'd be a totally different matter, but I don't think that's what we've got goin' on here. Not everyone is inclined to hang their relationship status information out there. Heck, I've got a friend I've known for over a quarter century and … don't know their relationship status or sexual orientation – don't care – they don't say, I don't ask. All fine – ain't nobody else's business if they don't want to make it known to other(s). Well, you don't have to go stickin' that stuff out there if you don't want to either.
use the platform to with her a Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary etc.
F*ck that. Really. The hell with that. Do I stick “Happy Birthday” wishes or the like on Social Media platform(s) to folks I'm close with? Hell no. We're close – it happens in much more close personal ways. About the only folks I say “Happy Birthday” to on Social Media, is generally folks I've not seen in years – or decades or more, and often may never see again, or have a quite casual relationship with – e.g. former coworker(s) from years ago, or friends/acquaintances from years ago where we're mostly out-of-contact.
do, this in person
Absolutely, do it in person – heck, your partner, close, don't need that “Social Media” crud, nor is there need to parade your lives on it. Parter can, if they want, at least within reason, but you're under no obligation to do so.
she is preoccupied with Social Media
Well, yeah, rather … I mean sure, if she's into that – whatever … within reason, but … expecting others to jump into it too? No, nobody else is obligated to do so. Just because your partner is heavily into Social Media, or swimming hard in spaghetti, or … whatever, does't mean you have to be into it too … at all even.
SENT HIM AWAY!!!! IF HE IS SO COWARD TO PUT HER IN HER PLACE HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU!!!! END IT WITH HIM FOR GOOD!!! HE IS THE ONE THAT CAUSES THE DRAMA IN YOUR LIFE, DUMP HIM!!!
Yep, like I said – trauma bonding. It’s the cycle in a nutshell
Oh you’re enough!! If he has to resort to these things it’s HIM that’s messed up, not you
But yea I'm sure he hates my guts
Screw him. Don't go back. Stay broken up. He does not care about you or value you. He just wants his dick wet.
That sucks for both of you. ❤️?
“Cool, k”
Sounds like she could be a sugar baby
Oh, quit whining. It’s not misandry to call you out lmao grow up
Why do you think he resents it? He never mentions not enjoying pleasing her, just that he wants her to reciprocate. Also ‘all the work with a vibrator’ is a reach. I’m guessing she’s the type that can’t cum from just penetration and needs clitoral stimulation to get off which he says is cool with him.
What are you reading that makes you think he’s resentful and not generous?
That’s why this is obviously a troll.
That’s why this is obviously a troll.
Yup. Shallow children who think they're adults.