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girl-brunettex Public Chat Channel
Date: December 13, 2022
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You are 86 days sober. I don’t know if you’re in AA or if you’re going it alone. If you’re in AA, call your sponsor. If you’re doing it on your own, listen to me: do not put yourself in a high-anxiety situation where everyone, including your SO, is drinking to get drunk. Willpower only goes so far. Protect your sobriety.
I also found out she had gotten chlamydia and treated me for it without my knowing by putting the medicine into vitamin pills that we were taking to be healthier.
This woman doesn't care about you or your health. She was treating you so you wouldn't find out. She did not inform you she may have given you an STD, and then she secretly drugged you. What if you had a reaction to the medication? Does she understand how dangerous that is? Do you?
She doesn't respect you. All of her attempts to make things better are just attempts to calm things enough to smooth it over so she can get back to doing what she wants. You need to end this now, and you know it.
One other note here:
My parents are divorced and I did not want my children to go through what I did. I totally get this fear. But what you want is to not have your children go through the experience of divorce the way you did, to have your parents unable to coparent together. Use your experience not as a reason to not get divorced, but as a guide on how to not handle divorce.
There is a difference between masturbating to videos of random people that you've never met and doing it to someone he knows irl. I get how this would make you feel, and it's justified that you'd be upset.
Have you ever specifically discussed this boundary before? I.e. that you don't want him to look at stuff from people he's met in real life?
From his side I get how it can be thrilling to indulge in that fantasy but I think he should know that he's crossed a line. If he accepts this and apologises, would that be an acceptable resolution for you? Do you think he would do it again?
If he pushes back and doesn't understand try giving an example that reverses the roles. E.g. imagine if you met someone through work who you thought was attractive, and you masturbated to the thought of them & you might see them again. How would he feel.
I was going to reply, but based on some other comments and the fact that OP's account is now suspended leads me to believe that this is a fake post anyway.
Please talk to a skilled family therapist before you do anything. People here have explained some of the potential outcomes, but you need someone who can help you work that out in real life. A lawyer should explain the whole process and what it might look like, too, but they’re not going to help you much with the emotional component.
I don’t mean BetterHelp. I mean a licensed clinical social worker, therapist, or psychologist in your state who you can look up and vet.
Been there, done that. He’s lying to you blatantly and you should tell him you’re not buying it and the truth starts now. He’s not necessarily cheating but he’s not being upfront and you have caught on so the gig is up.
Thank you so much I can relate a lot specially with past bad relationships, it just amazes me how patient he is with me. I’m a very insecure person and everything that I do makes me overthink about the situation and which sometimes turns so toxic. I’ll try my best thank you
My friend was told she was sterile and got pregnant at 40 and I'm fairly sure her child isn't learning at the rate she should and I feel so sorry for the mom because it makes everything more stressful when your child struggles to verbalize needs and understand what is happening to them. The kid is always violently kicking and flailing around hurting their mom. She's a great mom. But I can't imagine how she doesn't lose her mind.
Don’t let your husband stand in the way of your children (and/or husband).
Exactly. Work discussions should be “they changed our team meetings from Tuesdays to Wednesdays now, and Sarah was promoted”, not the specifics of the work.
I’d leave and be gone by the time he got back. Screw that, he knows EXACTLY why it wasn’t ok and that’s why he lied to you smh. He knows what he did and what he’s doing. Red flag
It sounds like there’s some bigger issues here…
Text us a shitty way to communicate serious stuff like that IMHO.
I suspect that she’s more like me (44F) and feels like a relationship is icing on the cake, not the cake itself. I am in a great relationship, totally love my partner. He’s awesome and we’ve been together 5 years, living together 1.5. But if things ended tomorrow, I would be fine. I have a full life with my work, hobbies, friends, and volunteer work. I was fine being single before and frankly enjoyed it. So for me, my partner is like a lovely dessert after a perfectly good dinner. I can take it or leave it but sure enjoy it!
And given your ages, I suspect she’s dealt with more than a couple guys who were very needy and dramatic and she just doesn’t want that.
She may not be a good fit for you if you need a lot more attention and time which is totally fair!
Talk to her.
It's hardly fixated. I couldn't really care less. I've gone 7 years without it ? It's not a relationship maker or breaker pmsl.
It's just something I'm curious to hear some thoughts on. By women that maybe Have done this themselves.
Ugh I’m really sorry to hear that. Like I said, I just assume good in people so I wanted to offer an alternative perspective as I know this is probably really nude for you. I am also catching up on you saying how she screams often about this topic so…you’re probably right. I don’t think she’d double down like that if it was innocent.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, unfortunately it’s probably a duck.
I would not accept this. Given you've decided to stay, I don't know if this falls on deaf ears, but I would mandate couples' therapy and her taking full responsibility or I walk completely.
Otherwise, if she blames you now, she's just going to blame you next time.
Your gut is telling you something for a reason.
Listen to your gut.
You have a once in a life time amazing opportunity. Grab it with both hands! This is a very toxic relationship.
It seems like you already know what you want to do and are looking for validation. It’s your baby shower and you should be surrounded by people that you want there. Don’t worry about the social politics of it, you’re an adult and about to be a mother. This feels very high school. If this isn’t a friendship you value, why are you still keeping her around? I’m sorry to hear about the baby’s diagnosis and am glad that you seem to have a good treatment plan in place! Congratulations and I wish you and your baby all the best.
I understand what you are saying but these are 2 completely different scenarios. A wedding is a one day thing, and I have even said he could just wear it in the ceremony and change for the reception. He also knows how incredibly happy it would make me, and I have done many a things I didn’t want to because it would make him happy.
I understand what you are saying but these are 2 completely different scenarios. A wedding is a one day thing, and I have even said he could just wear it in the ceremony and change for the reception. He also knows how incredibly happy it would make me, and I have done many a things I didn’t want to because it would make him happy.
Absolutely. I think the stick that broke the camel's back for him was when they went after his teen daughter for contacting me.
he's definitely the jerk for that particular moment but like in usual reddit fashion based on one example they are completely going in on him but i wonder has she done this in other ways the've may have pushed him i tried to look at both sides before giving advice
I'm really scared she will emotionally blackmail my in-laws into not attending our wedding if I get a RO
They are allowed to decide if they want to attend or not. This is for their son to manage, not you.
A while back a guy posted here about breaking off the engagement with his fiancé a week before the wedding, when she insisted on telling him her dirtiest fantasy even after he told her no he didn’t want to hear it. She ignored that and then went on this big huge fantasy about her being gang banged on a table by all his ushers (his best friends) and his best man (his brother).