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Haelyn, 21 y.o.
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Date: November 24, 2022
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The reason she got upset and left is you made her think, and in thinking she realises that what she did was disrespectful to you and your relationship.
If you don’t have an apology from her in a day, dump her.
He migrates from an African state to America to give his children a better life.
She sounds toxic/borderline abusive. U gotta leave. I’m sorry
Lol why is that “strange”? I have the same problem with texting and let people know upfront so that they don't overthink it when I don't answer something immediately/keep up a derailed conversation
I’m really sorry that your gf is so insensitive of you. I’m in a one year relationship with my bf and we are both sexually active and likes to do it a lot. For some of my health issue we couldn’t do anything for a month, but he never pressured me in any form. He had a medial issue too after a while and we couldn’t do sex for 2 months but that wasn’t a problem for me. We did other stuff if you know what I mean hahaha an even if we couldn’t that doesn’t matter to me. If you truly love some one it’s awesome making love with them but it’s not all that matters.I care about him and his well-being and if something like that happened to me with my bf I’ll try more than 2 time before deciding to throw away a special person like him. She is aware of your condition? If the answer is yes she is not the right girl for you. She lacks the right empathy and sensitivity; I think this kinda of things need to be handled delicately because they are sensitive topics. By putting an ultimatum like that, she has shown herself to be as delicate as an elephant in a glassware. You better off without her.
Need genders
It's not your job to save everybody.
When I was 18 I had a 22 year old boyfriend and I quickly realized that that was too much of an age gap for me. But a 14 year age gap? I know you’re an adult and there’s lots of people who do have a significant age gap between them and their partner, but I really do wonder why he’s dating someone of your age. Did all the other 34 year olds kick him to the curb? Perhaps for a reason, given the controlling tendency he’s displaying with you. If I guy ever expects the right to track you, run away. It’s a sign he clearly doesn’t trust you, and is controlling as well. Either way, it’s never good news.
As I said, my childhood was literally splashed across national newspapers. My reputation could literally not go lower and idgaf about being blamed. So don't worry about that part.
Thanks for the rest, helpful to have advice from someone who has some similar experiences.
He's flat out rude and selfish. This has nothing to do with fatphobic. He's making a very lame excuse. It sounds like his mother greatly contributed to this behavior. If someone i was dating pulled this around me i would be mortified, especially if it was after i explained why it was rude, and i would end the relationship immediately. I wouldn't be able to take the embarrassment.
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What's really bad is no one is considering or even caring about what happens to a man in the case of paternity fraud. A quick little test is all it takes to remove doubt and move forward. He got the test, saw the results, and carried on with his life. No one was hurt, no damage was done anywhere other than her pride.
It sounds like there’s more of a lack of communication. It sounds like you just want to spend time together but he feels like your nagging him. I think you should call and have an honest conversation about how you feel and listen to him fully. When he’s done acknowledge his feelings and see if your missing anything.
I definitely had an ex like this especially coming up with excuses for gifts but I would for sure squash that. My bf and I ended up breaking up but it was for the better. If they won’t put in the effort, find someone who will
That happens when people post fiction.
Why is this guy not in jail? You have to move on, she's far too damaged for you to have a normal life with.
You work 16 hour days and your wife told you she inadvertently accepted the attention, care, and support she deserves in your planned absence..yeah the only thing that should surprise you is that she didn't file divorce
People are concerned about you. That's a huge age gap and creates a big power dynamic that is unhealthy and unsafe. It's not normal for a man that age to date someone who has the life experience of a child compared to him. He's lived your whole life twice! You will likely not listen to us as you haven't even listened to your own family but I hope you leave eventually.
Your mom is in denial because of her own guilt. There's a much larger picture here and she's seen even more than the 2 pieces she got from you and your sister. She has been culpable for a long time – probably since before she denied you a door lock. Get out of her fucking house before she has another opportunity to gaslight you further. It's a powerful drug! (Fyi I treat sexual abuse as a counselor – it's always the same pattern)
Not to mention does she need to dip in to her PTO for that time or make it up the rest of the week? If my spouse just made that type of decision for me I’d be so pissed.
Legendary game my friend. You increased your value with her.
Yes, tell housing you are being bullied for being gay and you don’t feel safe. They will make it a priority to find you other housing as soon as possible. Personally they should get him out. Good luck. Focus on your grades and mental health not this asshole, he’s scum and not important.
I'm just saying that the idea that it's so rare that it couldn't possibly be the case, isn't true. It's quite common and it could be the case. That's all.
She can't work there anymore if she wants to stay with you. Hopefully she understands that and is already planning to leave? That's probably the most critical thing right now, getting the hell away from this guy, which also shows you she's serious about making things work with you.
When the excuses come about her job and how you don't trust her… That's when you know this relationship needs to end for good.
There's so much to unpack here that for now you probably should focus on the thing that is the most relevant to you. Are you ready to pair your life with this woman who clearly does not share core values or respect them for that matter? You won't really understand her because her lifestyle and choices are not straightfoward and logical enough to be understood. You can keep trying to figure her out and online with the hope that maybe if you can make sense, there'll be reason to choose her, but there isn't, she just muddied the waters with enough reasonable doubt to keep her conscience clean. Cut her loose and save yourself a lot of misery bud.
OP, run.
Thank you. I've spoken to him and he gets defensive so ive never really got that validation and well, plain empathy with my situation. That alone helps with the anger and I appreciate it.
It is called an EA ( emotional affair) OP.
EA don’t need ( love you being exchanged or D pick) The fact that you are emotionally invested with someone other than your significant other qualify it as EA.
The damage is already done. You are now testing the water for monkey branching. Don’t take your partner for a fool. He is already feeling this emotional void that you are creating and turning it back to you
This cheating is a luggage that you will carry in your future relationships.
I wonder what type of guy can be emotionally involved with a married woman ??♂️
Have the decency to leave OP
Some heavy coping going on here. I'd say leave him, he has to learn the nude way if he's not going to accept the comments here.
How big are you? What do you to to take care of yourself?
What's the problem with having a few beers?
LMAOO please do this girl a favor and break up with her. She deserves someone who doesn’t play the victim. This is pathetic and you are painfully immature and stubborn.
At this point the person tanking this relationship is you.
It sounds like passive aggressiveness. I had an ex who did this and when I saw what his exes looked like I actually laughed. I thought they were going to be bombshell hotties and they were 1) a trailer park girl and 2) a dwarf lolol. I'm not kidding. Yet he acted all like this about social media with me who is a lot better than they were. Found out after that his grandma practically stalked his social media and I think he didn't want to have to tell all his family. Plus he was majorly passive aggressive. I foumd out throughout our relationship that he got off on tryijg to make me jealous and hurt. Like he genuinely enjoyed it like a little psycho. He ended up being the biggest psychopath I ever met and the most abusive pile of scum on the face of the earth. Abuse I don't think ill ever recover fully from. It's sad, because today I ran into this tall, gorgeous man who treats me like gold & I avoided it. I mean I'll text him soon and try to get together but the aftermath of being abused so badly by my ex is life altering. I tell you this because if this guy is abusing you emotionally, be cognizant of the signs. Your life will not be the same if you stay for too long. The social media is a huge red flag of a abuser. If he's anything like my ex, you're out of his league and he's trying to break down your confidence. Did he “Love bomb” you at first? Be careful of that too. My ex love bombed me, drawed me in and then would with hold affection as a punishment. Silent treatments are a passive aggressive abusers favorite weapon. Tbh- my biggest regret was not leaving the day the social media thing happened. If a guy is that insecure- it's time to go. I hope you make the right choice that I was too scared to make myself.
I agree with this.
If the dude had real respect for OP and their relationship he wouldn’t even entertain the idea of this hangout to be honest.
Oh okay, when I commented it was “not cheating it's complicated” hence I didn't know.
Unnecessary stress when the writing is on the wall. When there is no trust, there is no relationship. How many more lies before you leave? How many times are you going to break your own heart by staying? I promise you, the peace that comes with being single is so precious, especially when you use that time to really online and enjoy life while healing the broke parts of you.
I would, take the time to find my own living situation, split finances if they are shared, pack up little by little and one day when he's at work, move out or if it's your place, give him 30 days notice and from start date to move out, stay somewhere else and finally change the lock in day 31.
Good luck op.
Don’t you know only child’s are weird, it’s best to have 2
The way people post these desperate Reddit posts asking the same questions, it always makes me wonder if there’s some law I don’t know about forcing you to stay with a bad partner
“Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”
Omfg! It makes me so angry that ppl are so in denial that they're complete hypocrites
One of the key points that I think you are missing here is that IF you decide to have sex with him, the moment you are no longer a 'virgin' in his eyes, you have been devalued.
I don't know how comfortable you are with the idea of him obsessing over you because of your virginity, but on the surface this really sounds like a relationship that is doomed to failure.
After reading your post and then comments, I'd be saying no if I were in your shoes.
I see 295 comments of people telling you to leave him. I understand if you don’t want to leave it might be nude to accept the truth, but you need to open your mind. If you want advice, it’s here.
Relationships are supposed to be fun. Have some
She didn’t just cross a boundary she committed a felony of B&E
You already know this isn’t the right person, time to move on and let someone else deal with her crazy
Ok so r/killthecameraman (but like actually kill him)
I think he found it funny because shock factor is often funny to those with dark humor, the expression on other people's faces is what makes it funny for them
I think he's calling you a snowflake because you react to him calling you a snowflake, ignore it and you'll be fine
If you're comfortable then just roll with it, if you don't then just move on.
i’d probably break it off with someone who would say that to me. you can stay friends if you want but i def wouldn’t be letting this person get too close to me.
none of this is normal
run
Stupid. He apologized to the dog because the dog doesn’t understand that he was just being theatrical and making a joke. He assumed you got that, yknow, like a normal person would have.
Apparently he normally dates older women. But we’ve been together for just over a year
Do you and your girlfriend communicate about your respective needs during these times, or do you both just gradually shift your behaviour towards your preferred extreme until it upsets the balance of your relationship enough to cause a fight?
Being sexual in a relationship allows for some degree of exploration.
Which is something you talk about, which I assume they clearly haven't. You don't just do things without having discussed it, ” I put my penis in wife's arse without asking but now she is mad. Why is she mad guys????” See how stupid that looks now?
But more importantly, this is someone who supposedly loves you enough to get married, and is using your playfulness as a way to make you feel bad and gain a power advantage over you. He should, by definition, be the person on the planet who thinks highest of you, to give you all benefits of the doubt. And instead of doing any of that, he's taking offense at something that between lovers is just affectionate touching. You'd have to wonder now what other things he'll take offense at.
Ah the classic victim blaming. You're assuming a whole lot about someone who is likely just feels violated. If you wanna go down the assumption route we can talk about how he might possibly already have trauma related to someone violating him
One thing I should add is that he’s a person who likes to say he will do things and never does.. if you have anything else to add on please do, thanks for your comment
I would be shocked if they didn’t have full on sex. You never get the full story up front. Did you ever talk to Tom
So you realize you made a mistake by working so nude for this relationship and this woman who obviously isn’t worth it.
Now you’re here asking whether you should get back with her? How many mistakes do you need to make before you realize your life will be better without her and worse with her? Say you get back with her, which would be 2 mistakes, are you going to leave after the next time she cheats? Or are you going to make 3 mistakes? 4?
Leave her and find someone who deserves you.