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Date: October 27, 2022
Ok now our opinions are completely separate. You need some better monogamous friends. I have literally scores of happily married and monogamous couple friends who on-line very happy contented lives most of the time. I can't agree at all with you monogamous and lack of trust statement. That is not my experience at all.
There are very very few reasons why someone should tell you to leave your own home, and “alone time” is not one of them
It became selfish when you only cared about yourself. Your poor kids were never taken in to consideration. Did they want siblings? Are they getting enough attention as it is? Do they get along? Do you make them babysit so you and your wife and just fuck whenever you want like you say? Like come on. When did you think only caring what your dick wanted wasn’t selfish? All actions have consequences in some way, and that includes having six kids recklessly. Those consequences will show up sooner or later.
Condoms may suck, but it’s gonna suck even more when one or more of your kids cuts you out because you just weren’t there for them.
how
So firstly I think you need to put this into perspective for yourself. You don't actually live! that far away. It's 24 (at a minimum) hours by plane for us. You might want to look into transport options that are faster because w couple of hours by plane or whatever is basically nothing.
The second thing you need to do is ask where your daughter's behaviour is actually coming from. Our children never did this despite being old enough to remember their home country. I've never heard of children behaving like this over grandparents living in a different country actually. I suspect that your daughters behaviour is actually stemming more from yours than an internal struggle she may be feeling, for her being away from her grandparents should just be normal. I would suggest seeking some therapy both for yourself and your daughter. You absolutely must abstain from expressing your own feelings on the matter to your daughter from now on, that's absolutely not ok, most people would call that emotional abuse.