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Room for on-line sex video chat Hannah_nappy
Model from:
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 1997-06-10
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 17, 2022
Cramps possibly but not always.
She explicitly said it is my fault because she can behave nice with everyone else.
Asking him will do nothing. He’s got ‘em
I have a few tips for yuh. 33m
First, being super direct with your partner is critical. It can be something as simple as “hey! I want to kiss you! Come here!” And being happy when you say it. With deeper intimacy, idk how it could be awkward for him for you to be in undies or butt naked and just plop onto his lap. That shit is so direct and flattering for every man I’ve talked to that I can’t see why he’d be anything but excited. If you’re timid about that, try just giving him more physical touch throughout the day when you can. Driving? Rub his arm, chest, or leg and tell him he’s sexy. Watching movies on the couch? Throw your head on his shoulder and rub anywhere.
Second, have an honest conversation with him like others suggested. “My labido is coming back from this new BC, so I would really love for you to plow me (choose your own direct words… but be direct. Don’t just say intimate. Say what you want and how!), so can you work with me to start thinking of me sexually again? What would you be open to for me to be intimate with you right now? Do you want me to just grab your junk? Should I just tell you what I’m craving? Do you want me to text you a naughty pic? Like what are you open to, because I want you and I want to not feel like I’m awkward to you.” This conversation should yield understanding with one another, and he cannot just blow it off with some “idk” kinda stuff. He should give you options and become excited that his girl wants him again.
Third, you’re going to have to be open to some weird situations where his previous expectations of no sex get in the way, but you’re 100% able to be persistent and stick with it to change his perspective. It might just be something stupid that works well, like being butt naked on the bed when you know he’s gonna walk in. Yknow?
Give them a try and stick to being very direct, and persistent. Don’t choreograph your flirtation… it feels disingenuous. You want sex? Go be direct about it n get that man’s primal brain pumpin.
straight scumbag
Personally due to my own circumstances I disagree with some of this. I think it depends on the couple and their relationship. I have known my S/O since I was 12. Best friends for a few years before getting together in our late teens. We have been together for nearly a decade and are going to spend our life's together.
That said, I do think for some people it is important to date and be with other people because they need that experience to know who they are and what they want. Fortunately in our relationship, we grew together and tried things together. The things one of us didn't want to do etc, we communicated and provided a supportive environment for the other person to try new things.
We are completely different people from when we were teens, but gave each other support and space to experience new things, even if the other didn't want to experience them.
forget the cheese. it is not the problem.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I get this so much. When OP started talking about how sensitive and empathic his wife used to be I immediately thought, “that's the problem right there.” It's incredibly difficult living in feelings all the time, and it is such a relief to not GAF for awhile.
It's not just being drunk. She is an alcoholic, it's a disease that affects everything, especially your decisions. It's a Pitt you fall in and surrounds you every minute of your life until you can crawl out.
It's okay that you have fear of male body after years of trauma, your friends shouldn't be angry at you, they have to understand you
Big second on the fact that this whole post (and dynamic) as described just doesn’t make a lot of sense.
OP, there is a large set of questions left behind by your lengthy post— just pointing it out because you said a lot but things are still murky. What you’re emphasizing doesn’t really explain anything about most people’s relationships. A lot of people are overweight but the degree to which it impacts their relationship varies a lot. Generally if there was radical change from baseline, especially when it results in changes in type of activities (or if the weight just happening to coincide with other major struggles impacting the relationship)— just in general, that’s when people leave or things cause serious problems.
You say your weight was basically stable but heavier when your relationship should have been happiest (when you got engaged and married) but it’s causing new problems now? Are there other relationship issues you omitted?
Also, you say that you’ve only begun losing weight in the last 3 months.
You also say:
“I am now at a healthy weight”
So how much could you have possibly lost in a few months? Was your husband really planning on leaving the marriage over the 15lbs most people would lose in ~3 months? Maybe 25lbs?
That’s work to lose, don’t get me wrong, but that’s also not close to relationship-breaking weight to most people, let alone enough to be a constant source of long-term relationship strife.
Are you (or your husband) blaming all manner of relationship issues on your weight when they’re not caused by weight at all? Or are only tangentially related to it?
Ultimately, you can’t force someone to stay with you, but it sounds like you’re working on past trauma and yourself. That’s good and will improve your life.
That’s a win to celebrate whether he stays or goes.
I’d keep focusing on your healing as priority #1 and not panic or focus on trying to make someone stay.
Arrange for her to start therapy NOW
He's greedy and utterly selfish. Not someone you should be sharing anything with.
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What's her dress style like? Is she the sort that doesn't make much of an effort and mInly goes with comfort?
Or he doesn’t want his kids raised by strangers.
You are being kind of petty for dwelling on it; if it was all during the “getting to know you” period and you didn’t agree to be exclusive during that time then it really is none of your business to be blunt.
Also, the fact that it was just sex instead of actual dates makes it better, she just needed her needs met while getting to know you pretty much, why should she stop getting laid while she gets to know you if there was no agreement on exclusivity? Likely he was just a “fuck buddy” and that’s it, I wouldn’t even classify it as “friends with benefits” because their is no friendship, just humping and hanging out at his place a bit before and after. But now that your meeting all her “needs” he is out of the picture, as it should be.
About the “Italian guy” thing, get over yourself; if being her “first Italian guy” is so important to you then maybe you need to take a look at how you define a relationship; one dumb joke isn’t (or at least shouldn’t) that important.
Also take into account that this was 5 years ago. . . She was still in collage (I assume) and likely had a higher sex drive and wasn’t fully matured emotionally, so that would all definitely play a part.
So in short, let it go, if this is the only thing making you unhappy then your lucky, you have a long term attractive girlfriend, who loves you and trusts you enough to tell you about something she doesn’t need to because she trusted you to be emotionally mature enough to handle it, also sound like she has given you no other reason in the last 5 years to think she was unfaithful so count your blessings and enjoy your relationship.
He doesn't know the meaning of “no” or “stop” to the point she has to repeatedly say it? That's not something you have to “teach” someone especially at his age. Seriously, give him a book? Sure, lets go find him a book for 5 year olds on what the meaning of no is if he is genuinely that dense.
Meh, there is so much we don’t know.
put them up to it as a joke or otherwise
Is a pretty weird comment. Understandably, she was in shock, he was also in shock. We have no idea if she literally said otherwise or if she’s paraphrasing, how it was said. We do not know what “awkward now at home” means. We do not know these people.
What we do know is that one of them is here asking for relationship advice regarding her marriage, which would generally lead me to believe that she wants the best advice for the marriage. Her husband is obviously rattled by it, if that’s some major character flaw or a one off weird reaction to an extremely weird situation we do not know. She at no point insinuated that she was unhappy in the marriage. The best course of action for the marriage is to soothe the partner’s worries and have a good talk about the events and his reaction, however if she wanted to be in the right at the expense of her marriage then yes she should follow your mantra.
He has been married twice??
That's very creepy. It seems like he is treating sex like a game/competition to see how high of a score he can get. That is not how I would want to be treated. It's disrespectful and debasing.
Break up with her. You want marriage, she doesn't. You're now incompatible. That simple.
Why won’t you allow yourself to have dealbreakers? It really doesn’t matter if all those people would work through infidelity. They’re not you.
Remember that you are modeling what healthy relationships should be for your child, as a caregiver (and the primary one at that, something tells me that your parenting load wouldn’t be all that different without him in your life) and as a loved one and as a general adult figure. What would you say if your child wrote this in a message to you? Would you support this relationship? Would you tell them to stay?
If not, model that for them. Leave. Show your child that you know your worth. As a child of If you would tell them to stay, then you need to do some deep self work and learn what it means to respect and value yourself. It’s a naked road, but it’s a road that can be taken. As a child of divorce, believe me when I say that sometimes separation/divorce is the absolute best and healthiest thing for a family.
Good luck. I hope the best for you.
ALLLL OF THIS, OP.
I hope you get a taste of your own shit in the next relationship you’re in. 🙂
She already knows that my Dad and I have discussed this and I have told him that it's my life, mind his own business. Even if this is what did happen the worst he would get is a call saying “Cut the crap” and I'd keep the apart in the future.
?????
Your next move? Get a new girlfriend. This one is not loyal to you at all.
I don’t know that the last incident was sexual harassment. I heard the phrase “I ought to put you over my knee and spank you” growing up ALL the time, and not in a sexual way at all, and not just said to kids. It was just a joking way of saying you did or said something they didn’t agree with.
I do agree that the other things he’s said were inappropriate but I think that particular incident you overreacted based on my knowledge of the use of that phrase. It I wasn’t there so maybe it was sexual innuendo. I’m just saying when I’ve heard it it was never meant in a sexual way.
I totally agree, but also have been in a relationship with someone I knew was hurting me on purpose and someone who I know was hurting me not on purpose, just like OP seems to feel. Not that it’s the same thing, but I’m with someone who was abusive to me for most of our relationship. I believed that she really is a good person and was reacting from her own trauma, not actually trying to hurt me, and that if she just got help things would be better.
People told me to leave. My therapist told me she couldn’t tell me to leave but that I should think about it. Luckily I ended up being right and we’ve had a completely different relationship for years now. So I’m hoping it will be the same situation for her. I really hope she’s right.
I do think if he really is a good person though like she thinks and made a horrible mistake, they both need to go to individual therapy and couples therapy. Him to work out why he thought it was ok to do that to her, her to work through why she would want to stay with someone who would, and if they decide to stay together after, to work through this cus idk how anyone would be able to trust someone after that.
This isn’t normal behavior, steer clear of this woman OP
Go let him try
If i read the post history, he doesn't even know what he has. All the examinations have no results. He just has a “i hope it isn't xx”.
I wonder if the gf is actually agsinst the surgery without an actual diagnose.
i guess somehow, i’ve been seeing a lot of questions like ‘what is the value add?’ around lately, and it’s starting to make me question myself too.
thank you for the comment!