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  1. GIRL this was more than a peck TO HIS SISTER. My brother is my world and I wouldn't dream of doing this.

    Have a serious talk with him. He may say it's not a big deal but it is and he knows it because they try to actively hide it from you. Ask him to explain what he does and demonstrate on you, ask if this wasn't a big deal why did he hide it. Explain your feelings. If you are not comfortable with this that is okay and valid. Try to reach a compromise is possible. But you have to decide if this is a deal-breaker for you and it's okay if it is. I know many people might say this isn't a very serious thing but it is your relationship. I, personally, wouldn't be comfortable with this.

    UpdateMe! Please

  2. Hello /u/WisestStupidGuy,

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  3. Hello /u/Sure_Rate_7652,

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  4. You should pick your battles. Sometimes it’s going to be easier just to not address something they said that you disagree with. Don’t tell them you disagree just because you disagree. Tell them when it actually makes a difference. Your goal—within reason—should be to get along with them. There’s no reason to tell them you like a different color of dress better unless they’re asking you what color dress you want them to buy you.

  5. There's a saying once a cheater always a cheater. Now not to say that OP can't have changed but she hid it from her partner and now is being really suspicious. She's not really winning in the honesty game. Normally people ask if there's anything they should be concerned about from their past or any variation of such. A history of cheating should be mentioned before saying I do

  6. Sadly, it is also textbook. My friend with the shattered skeleton and the newborn? She begged him to love her again too. She got pregnant, he demanded to know who she was cheating with and called her all the same names as OP is hearing. She was shocked and horrified and cried that it was his. He stomped off, returned with a gun and shot up her apartment.

    She got evicted for causing a disturbance. She was homeless in wintertime and trying to work doubles to stay warm. Went into labor, had a preemie and got fired for it. She thought if he saw his child he would live her again. She took 6 bullets for her trouble. Now she has two broken femurs and a paralyzed right hand. Was denied disability. Still has a preemie, lives in hiding, can’t work and he’s already out of jail and threatening to kill her.

  7. Yeah my jaw literally dropped when I read that bit. Good for you OP, I especially liked your last line about sticking with people in your weight class. It’s a good analogy and wrestling with someone who fights a dirty is always only going to end in pain. I know I’m just a stranger on the Internet but I’m really proud of you.

  8. Hello /u/medicatedbisexual,

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  9. Hello /u/laylalumino,

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  10. I understand everything you’re saying. I just feel that I want this to work. We are in couples counseling. He is in therapy since everything happened

    Why is HE in individual therapy for, literally, being an ass by believing the worst of you on someone else's account, then kicking you out and sleeping around? Why aren't YOU?

  11. No one in family except for my brother have divorced. My brother just needs to stop finding bride's overseas who use him to get permanent residency in Australia

  12. Why was he interested in you to begin with? This isn’t a “why would a celebrity talk to YOU” question, I’m just curious if you have a hobby insta where maybe he loves what you’re doing and thinks it’s interesting.

    Idk I’d use caution but also I don’t think I’d say no to a celeb either.

  13. You don't know what to do? The same thing keeps happening over and over. At some point you have to acknowledge reality and stop entertaining it.

  14. Went to it because of Covid. Still having the same issue with the real world. Everything seems great until they Google (or ask) what demisexual means and then poof.

    I had actually met who I thought was a really nice guy and we had been dating for a month. Went to pick him up last night for our date and his girlfriend answered the door. Apparently they are long distance and she surprised him with a visit? We were both surprise and she was extremely livid so I imagine he did not have a fun night. Anyway, that’s the reason I asked this last night.

  15. Sorry but this one isn't gender specific. If a guy turned up at my friend's house because I'd been out partying late and a bit crap with responding, I'd think he was crazy too.

    It's just really over-bearing, distrusting, and controlling. I think you need to get a grip.

  16. I wouldn’t be ok with it if this has happened more then one time and you’ve expressed that your uncomfortable with it before then it’s a serious problem

  17. She can divorce any time she wants. Infidelity is never morally acceptable or understandable.

    She wants out of the marriage? Then she should be an adult and take steps to end it instead of having her cake and eating it too.

  18. My friend, not everyone on this earth is going to find you attractive. That's something we all have to accept. I have a buddy who thinks Sandra Bullock is unattractive. Another doesn't like Anne Hathaway. Not everyone will want you. You're going to have to online with this idea.

    Secondly, everyone dates because they're lonely. If they were happy alone, they'd stay that way.

    I think what happened here, again, us that you ran into a dude with a lot of stuff going on and you're trying to make it about you. It doesn't seem that way to me. Dude just has a lot in his head. It's not about you or your attractiveness. Make sense?

  19. Yes, I found out later she had been cheating and found a new man. He dumped her when she was single lol.

    In your case it really could be she knew she didn’t love you enough to marry or be a life partner. Every once in a while it is what it is.

  20. I'm sorry but you ended up with a sexist pig. Leave him, he is doing this so you don't have a life outside of him and domestic work.

  21. All I hear here is control, control, control. You are your own person. You know what you want to wear. What you want to purchase.

    “Thanks for the input but it is unnecessary, but I want/am doing 'X'

  22. You’re dating a man who believes his opinion is valid when it comes to a woman’s healthy and her body lol. If that’s not literally the biggest turnoff, I don’t know what is

  23. Obviously this will vary by social group, culture or location. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a dedicated guest room in their house that is used solely for guests.

  24. This is the phase of the relationship where one of the SO's cheats but they thinks it's not wrong because it's still early in the relationship and the couple haven't claimed exclusivity.

    Be strong and tell her you appreciate the time you had but her actions proved she was not trustworthy.

  25. The first thing is to be true to yourself. So online your life and do what you need to do and the person you end up either being with long-term or marrying or whatever your goals are will match enough so it can be worked out. I’m not a big believer at this stage especially since you’re not really that bonded and changing your complete life for someone else.

  26. What you can do is sit down with your relatives at different times and explain your history with her, and that she was nasty to everyone in high school and hurt a lot of people, did a lot of self esteem damage toward you and other classmates and when you saw her for the first time again, and she started up, you realized she was the same old nasty person you remembered her as. Explain the incident she did in private too. Tell them this is not something you will brush off, or ignore and that you will stand up to her from now on every time she does this. If that makes you the villain in their eyes, so be it, but that is very disappointing in them, as you expected more from you family than to quickly side with some one they hardly know.

    Next time it happens, mimic her trying to mimic, only make it more exaggerated, then call her a clown and tell her she’s late for the circus.

  27. “remember how i said you don't have to stop talking to her? well actually i changed my mind now. stop talking to her.”

    would it be that very hot to say this?

  28. Yeah probably just wait and see if he reaches out. From an outside perspective, does needing time lean to break up or idk just actually need time?

  29. I think you have to decide if now refusing, after agreeing, is going to blow this up into something you’d rather avoid.

    Instead see this perhaps as your final good wishes for her. Be the mature one and come to terms that your friendship has run its course. No need to badmouth her or create any tensions with others.

    If your friend ever reaches out, be calm and civil and explain that you were hurt by the snub and the secrecy. Maybe she’ll want to rekindle the friendship and I hope then that you’re able to be pragmatic about whether you want to or not.

  30. Exposing them to a violent alcoholic will crush or even worse long term. Moving and starting over sucks and may take time but living with an alcoholic and these outbursts can cause a lasting negative impact to a kid.

  31. I don't know why you're intentionally missing the point.

    Not looking for the bad in people is one thing, being completely naive is another. He was a 32 year old man meeting up with a 19 year old girl at a motel room on Friday nights.

    20 isn't a huge difference from 19. You're still knocked up by a married man and going to be a single parent at 19/20 years old if you do keep the baby. Figure out if that's what you want for yourself.

  32. Haha! My ex tried this whole sob story too. He left me for another woman and left me with a pile of debt, too. Screw this. Do not let this person back into your life. He’ll take it as forgiveness and do it again. Maybe even worse.

  33. You value yourself enough to know that this is not love – this is manipulation.

    Anyone who pressures you to do something you don't want to do – ANYTHING you don't want to do (whether it is drinking, drugs, sex, uncomfortable experiences) is not your friend and does not have your best interest at heart.

    Your BF is selfish. Break up.

  34. Just because someone is nice and talks to you doesn’t mean they are ready to throw their 4 year relationship down the drain.

    You are reading into nuances and trying to create a situation that isn’t there. There is nothing wrong with being friends at work but you need to grow up and leave it there.

  35. If you’re having regular arguments, memorable or not, it’s not a good fit.

    I’ve literally had less than a handful of arguments with my partner over many years. And I do remember them because if it was important enough to argue about, it was important. Like there have been 3 in 5 years and I could tell you very specifically what those were about.

    I suspect you don’t remember because it’s about stupid shit and happens so often that you just tune it out. That’s not a healthy relationship.

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