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Hello guys! Im Maria and im #new here! Today is my SECOND DAY HERE!, 18 y.o.
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Live Live Sex Chat rooms Hello guys! Im Maria and im #new here! Today is my SECOND DAY HERE!
Date: April 7, 2023
Are you in therapy?
Same thing goes for her though.
OP's comments here interesting.
She's basically a doormat who has convinced herself she could never be a doormat.
Blinders so dark you'd need our sun to supernova to see past them.
All marriage is is a ceremony, a rite. It's best for you both just to “shack up”
I agree. I really don’t see the problem
Holy shit, this is her modded out hobby car and you expected her to give it up to shuttle around her nephews around? And you lied about buying it back later?
I wasn't really on anyone's side here because ripping up the room is quite the overreaction, but damn, you're making me take her side.
So, honest question, where do you see this relationship going? Marriage, house, kids? He’s not responsible enough with money for any of that. Don’t combine your finances with his in any way. Split costs 50/50 is fine, but don’t co-sign any loans or leases. And buy the car you can afford on your own. Let him him borrow it if you must. He can kick in for insurance and repairs, but it should be in your name only. Someone with this much debt shouldn’t be taking on more debt. Paying it off should be his top priority. I honestly don’t know how you try to build a life with someone so unconcerned about being on safe financial footing.
All great advice. I'll add emphasis to
ask her what she wants
This is a huge and often neglected aspect of sex. But communication is the single easiest way to please your partner.
Imagine walking into a restaurant and teasingly going through the entire menu and trying to judge what your gf is craving based on small physical cues, how accurate do you think you would be? Now imagine going through the menu and asking what she'd like to have. If she knows what she wants and how to communicate, you'll much more easily reach a pleasing conclusion.
That said, you're both young and learning so she probably will learn more things she likes. Which is where all that fun exploration in foreplay will come in handy. You don't want to just bust in, ask what to do to her, and be done with it. You still want that yearning and excitement. Just don't be afraid to ask “do you like that?” Or “where do you want me?” Etc. You can do it in a breathless whisper in her ear as you feel her react to certain things.
Once the dust settles you can also just engage in a conversation about the things she's like best so far, or if there's anything new she'd like from you
I know she paid for her en-suite but to just completely destroy it out of spite is wrong too. It cost her a lot of money to get it all Installed and she throws it all away after an argument.
nd all of the sessions were an undertone of him telling me to leave which wasn’t my intention when seeing him to begin with
so he had an undertone of what virtually everyone will be telling you? So again, if you really want to leave. You just leave…I you need help you just tell your friends and family (again, you aren't the douche causing all the problems) then get that help they will give you.
My goodness he has worn your self esteem down to the bone!
His constant belittling of you has gaslit you into believing that all of the things going wrong in your relationship are your fault. They aren’t. You need to start putting the ownership for those bad things where it belongs – on him.
You can lose a whole 200lb by getting rid of that gigantic douche. When you aren’t paying for his life anymore you’ll have enough to get a place of your own.
Wait…. You kicked her out of her room because she wouldn’t upgraded her car? And I bet you are confused as to why she cut ties
youre here saying you think your boyfriend is using his spinal defect as an excuse
Yes it is bad
I 100% thought I was in AITA. So I guess she wasn’t asking but the answer is still yes.
he believes sex is anything more than kissing while I believe it’s penetration
You're right. They're sexual activities, but it's not sex unless a sex organ enters your body (top or bottom). You can't make him do anything, and nor should you. Sex is nice cause it allows you to give while (selfishly) receiving, but it's not anything that can't wait. You just need to be patient taking turns. Your problem is you're not even doing that. Outside of you being up and not waiting until 24 to have someone touch you, your best bet would be to do it yourself or buy a toy… or wait 6 years.
Maybe tell her you don’t want her to periodically message you like this? Or block her?
If she’s stonewalling when she’s mad, that’s not a very healthy relationship. Find someone who has conflicts without being toxic and make sure you’re not bringing any toxicity with you from this relationship.
I’m sorry that you’re going through a very hot time.
I see why she's divorced. That dad line was the little bow on top for me
Better how? He doesnt want u to get used to & like living alone it seems.
always. I have CP. and …he's not exactly…pursuing things. its my opinion and a lot of others that he needs meds(SSRIS) but, you know…”I will when…” “One Doctor at a time…” stupid macho excuses yada yada
Have you actually given the number to H and broached the subject with him? You don’t have to vouch for your SIL but you can raise the issue.
Personally I would just tell your bf that you spoke to H and he directly rejected SIL which is why you haven’t been too keen to move forward. You didn’t tell bf because it would have hurt him (bf) ??♀️
ALWAYS, Last thing you and your partner want is a nasty yeast infection!
probably one of the mods. Its how they keep people engaged in this creative writing sub. How else do you explain them never being able to employ a filter, block an IP address or impose a delay in being able to post?
I stay this with love, and as a dude. Fuck his ego. You do not owe attention to a man who is trying to get validation by making advances while he’s involved, and he certainly isn’t entitled to you being nice about it either. If I were you, I’d just say “look, I know you have a long term gf, I’m not into that, and I’m not into a guy who sneaks around, so stop flirting with me and go home to your girlfriend like a respectable man. I’m not attracted to guys who cheat.” That’s about all he deserves.
You really need help fella.
What about masturbating?
EW
Hey please don’t tell your self you are being psych
This is really weird. I would want to make sure that his reaction to being called out isn’t drastic
This is really weird. I would want to make sure that his reaction to being called out isn’t drastic
Her questions got a little weird, but this is totally normal human stuff. She couldn't sleep ONE night and thought about slightly weird but not super weird stuff? That's a relationship, Baby!!!
Nah, date her. This friend probably won’t be in your life in future and you will be inevitably losing out on a potentially good partner. It’s been 4 years, he should be over it.
I don't mean to blame, but why he doesn't to stand up to her? There must be a reason and then help him overcome it.
Sounds like you've made some great progress with your self-awareness getting to this point. Might be time for therapy though, and not the Reddit variety.
What would you gain by telling them?
It's nice that they'd prefer a Christian boy, but I'd just date whoever you want for now. They don't like it? Oh well. Or just fib, say he's Christian, and let them keep their fantasy.
I understand wanting to tell them just to avoid pretending to be religious when you're not…but if it blows up, will you be stuck in the same house with them?
Or worse, at risk of being kicked out?
If I were you, I'd wait to tell them until the gamble was safer.
Thank you for this, this helped
Good lord I hope so! Haha he’s actually a good kid, so you’d win that bet.
Natural Selection
Referring to this other woman as 'a bitch', 'that bitch' is so vile – if your partner has gone against the agreed boundaries of your open relationship it's not her fault, it's his.
I'm not surprised he's asking to pause – he's right to.
What do you do now? Evaluate if you want to be in this relationship and if you're really ok with an open relationship.
Thank you for notifying me. And I will.
Are you sure you’re not 13? If not your “best friend” is a 13 year old trapped in a 31 year old body. Stop being friends with douchebags
Bro what 90s sitcom do you live in in your head.
Ah yes. The now-absolutely-loyal boyfriend that fucks cousins of the love of his life. Sounds healthy and absolutely not as if it could happen again
I’d take a pass…
Op,don't let him get away with that!wait until the kids are in bed and have a discussion. Remember you have the upper hand. Stay strong ? good luck
Run
ITS BEEN MONTHS OF THIS DUDE LYING TO YOU ABOUT CRAP. ITS CLEAR HE IS THE PROBLEM. IMAGINE HOW PEACEFUL YOUR LIFE WILL BE WITHOUT HIM AND INSTEAD HAVING HEALTHY PEOPLE AROUND YOU IN YOUR LIFE.
KICK THE MAN TO THE CURB. KEEP YOUR JOB. KEEP YOUR MONEY TO YOURSELF. IMAGINE ALL THE EXPERIENCES YOURE MISSING OUT ON AND COULD BE LEARNING FROM WITHOUT THIS BLACK HOLE OF A BEING SUCKING UP ALL YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND RESOURCES.
DROP THE DEAD WEIGHT.
If you settle for this, know that this is the dynamic this relationship will be. He won't change. You're too old for this.
If that's what you feel you need you have the right to do so, are you sure you want to leave the pets behind?, do you think he will take good care of them? Are they bonded with him or you?, the only thing in my opinion, is please don't leave your pets behind, they are innocent and did nothing wrong to you if they are bonded with him, then maybe is the right move, but if the pets are bonded to you, please don't leave them behind, you have control over your decisions, the pets are dependant on you.
Regardless I wish you so much luck moving forward, you know you deserve better, that's why you bought the plane ticket, I'm sure you gave him plenty of opportunities, but that well is dry off by now.
Sure, but the reality is that he doesn't want kids, even if he has no legal recourse as you claim. What about the kids? You want to birth children with the knowledge that their father doesn't want them? Just because something is one way on paper doesn't make the ramifications of the issue in reality go away?
I felt foolish it took this long to see
I've been with my husband for 10 years and we have 2 kids. I've also been in toxic, cheating relationships. But never have I requested my husband's passwords and unlimited access to all of his messaging and social media apps. I know the code to unlock it, but that's it. Your girlfriend is asking for too much. If she can't respect that, then I don't think your relationship is really going to work. She needs to realize that everyone is entitled to privacy. Have you asked her for her passwords and unlimited access to her stuff? Try asking her. See how she reacts. I mean it would only be fair right?
didnt read ur post but yes probably
Thank you very much
Honestly if it were me, I’d start the process of IVF embryos with a sperm donor while simultaneously starting divorce proceedings
You’ve been together 12 years, you’re 38. He knows what you want, you’ve made that perfectly clear.
He’s never going to be ready. Not with you anyways.
I was going to offer gentle advice but after seeing your comment where you said she neglected you after the birth of your second child – I hope she leaves you. You are not changed, you have not learned anything, you do not care about your wife or family – only about making sure your needs are fulfilled. You’re a POS father and partner
But I wronged him in some ways. How could I not feel responsible?
Thank you!! That all makes a lot of sense! It had been 18 months. We'd been through a lot of stressful things.. me sorting out a divorce and financing my home. Him with work and his sick parent. But it does seem childish.. and we're both guilty of that. Once he said he wanted to stop talking I took his stuff back just to get it over and done with. I wasn't expecting to hear from him again! I'm tempted to post it in the relationships over 40 just to get a talking too from them as well lol
If she's saying sorry then maybe she means it and it can just be put down as a mistake. At the risk of sounding patronising (which I'm not trying to be), she's young and it might have just been an error in judgement that she won't want to do again. If you reckon she's being sincere in her apology then that might be enough.
Get that folder and copy it onto a USB drive. On your own computer, look at each files' properties, and then the Metadata. You may need some external tool if you're unsure about how to do this. It should solidify some things.
I also want to ask, was this a hidden folder, or a folder that was hidden away? “Hidden folder” is a reserved term in the context of computer OS's. I.e these are two different things — which may or may not matter in the end, but should still clarify the severity of the situation (if it was the former instead of the latter, then this situation is confirmed x2 more serious and creepy).
The distinction being that hidden folders are prefixed with a period eg: “C:/User/recipes/.picsofOp”
Another question: were these photos possibly downloaded from social media? Still weird to download pics of when you were underage, buy putting this possibility out there.
In the background of these photos can you confirm that it was indeed your room? Did he somehow install secret cameras at your old/current place? Get one of those infrared camera detectors from Amazon and do a scan of your place.
If these pictures are innocent, there is a slight chance it's just him being neurodivergent and dumb. If any of these pictures are explicit (show any nudity) then 10000% these pics were acquired nefariously
Thanks all! I was curious as my mind immediately goes to we don’t trust each other since we haven’t told each other our passwords. I trust him just wondering if that was a red flag in my relationship ?
Like I said, it should be in a joint savings account for home repairs in case it’s needed, not a monthly payment directly to him in the form of ‘rent’ that she pays whether or not the repairs are needed.
Big repairs are generally infrequent anyway unless he’s in the world shittiest house where the roof collapses every other month.
On the flip side, what if she pays him rent for a year and they break up? He’s just made a tidy profit charging his partner $1500 a month to share a room with him. If he pays for a repair, he’s actually investing into a property he will continue to own and will be able to sell to make money back, she’s simply paying to repair someone else’s property that she has no stake in and she’s still willing to split those costs without the extra $500 a month rent payment on top.
He's never entitled to your body, whether it's touching it, looking at it, etc. Getting mad at you and guilt tripping you by claiming you don't care about him is manipulative behavior. If he blows up at you for expressing discomfort that's even worse, and definitely an indicator that he cares more about sexual gratification than your feelings.
You met two months ago, no promises have been made (as is healthy at just 60 days into a new thing) and you're just speculating that he's getting dating app hits while you're talking to him. Maybe give this another month or two then ask him if he'd like to be exclusive. Building a relationship takes time.
Well yes I should learn to embrace the small things in life and be less pessimistic. Thank you for your input! Glad not everyone here thinks I am a the worst person ever
The abusive behaviors usually happen when they trap someone like marriage or children. It lines in perfectly as they are engaged to be married. So true
Oh I didn’t know they offer zoom therapy, do you know any CBT book that is good for anxiety?
Just talk to her. Maybe she can switch to making something just as nice but smaller? Maybe she would also like different gifts from you.
I’m not one to jump to dtmfa but seriously dtmfa. You would be better off.
Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy and take care of yourself.
Ask yourself if your best friend told you this how would you respond?
Finally what if anything does he bring to the table?