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We've been friends since 7th/8th grade. We originally had a very good friendship into high-school and didn't start dating until almost a year after graduating. In the beginning, we had a very loving relationship towards each other, but things started going down hill slowly after our first son was born.
So, in a way, I would miss the way he used to be all those years ago. I've been watching this man slowly become the person he is today, all while begging him to see a psychiatrist/therapist. I just want to know if the man I used to love is truly gone or if, for his kids' sake, can somehow be brought back.
He has been staying away from alcohol for the last several months. I watch our bank statements quite closely and confirm every penny that comes out. We generally don't carry any cash that he could be using to “sneak” it.
Even if I was to begin the process of divorce, I worry that without me being there to keep him from further escalating these situations that he would do something he truly regretted. When it would come to getting custody, it would be my word against his as I have no physical proof of the way he's been over the years.
He was diagnosed ODD before 18 yo? He needs to get reevaluated if possible. You need to decide if a life with ODD, CD, or ASPD is what you want, especially considering you have a child + dog. FYI this is all increasing the risk for abuse.
This is also all tied to increased rates of psychopathic traits. Therapy will only do so much, you really have to establish boundaries and hold him accountable consistently for the rest of your life. That includes real world consequences, like reporting him to police for animal abuse.
The abusive behaviors he learned in childhood will only be overcome if he actively admits he is abusive, takes full accountability by word and deed, and goes through an intervention course in conjunction with individual therapy. Then, there is about a 1% chance he will change.
That’s the reality. You will have to be active and aware by holding him accountable, so you also need therapy separately from him.
Copper and your daughter need a new home if you stay with him. IMHO
Oh wow. She referred to your ex in an objectifying and gross way (“something like that”) and has managed to twist that into her just wanting you to be your best. Kudos to her on those mental gymnastics. I don’t believe her.
Being beautiful on the outside doesn’t make you beautiful on the inside. You ignore her shitty (hidden from you) behaviors at your own risk.
We've been friends since 7th/8th grade. We originally had a very good friendship into high-school and didn't start dating until almost a year after graduating. In the beginning, we had a very loving relationship towards each other, but things started going down hill slowly after our first son was born.
So, in a way, I would miss the way he used to be all those years ago. I've been watching this man slowly become the person he is today, all while begging him to see a psychiatrist/therapist. I just want to know if the man I used to love is truly gone or if, for his kids' sake, can somehow be brought back.
He has been staying away from alcohol for the last several months. I watch our bank statements quite closely and confirm every penny that comes out. We generally don't carry any cash that he could be using to “sneak” it.
Even if I was to begin the process of divorce, I worry that without me being there to keep him from further escalating these situations that he would do something he truly regretted. When it would come to getting custody, it would be my word against his as I have no physical proof of the way he's been over the years.
He’s negging you
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Your bf:
He was diagnosed ODD before 18 yo? He needs to get reevaluated if possible. You need to decide if a life with ODD, CD, or ASPD is what you want, especially considering you have a child + dog. FYI this is all increasing the risk for abuse.
This is also all tied to increased rates of psychopathic traits. Therapy will only do so much, you really have to establish boundaries and hold him accountable consistently for the rest of your life. That includes real world consequences, like reporting him to police for animal abuse.
The abusive behaviors he learned in childhood will only be overcome if he actively admits he is abusive, takes full accountability by word and deed, and goes through an intervention course in conjunction with individual therapy. Then, there is about a 1% chance he will change.
That’s the reality. You will have to be active and aware by holding him accountable, so you also need therapy separately from him.
Copper and your daughter need a new home if you stay with him. IMHO
Oh wow. She referred to your ex in an objectifying and gross way (“something like that”) and has managed to twist that into her just wanting you to be your best. Kudos to her on those mental gymnastics. I don’t believe her.
Being beautiful on the outside doesn’t make you beautiful on the inside. You ignore her shitty (hidden from you) behaviors at your own risk.