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  1. Ask yourself: Are you willing and able to keep up this level of devotion and attention for your entire relationship? Or are you just doing it to get her back and then you’ll lapse back into taking her for granted? If you aren’t willing to commit all the way, then let her move on.

  2. I think a lot of people here are mixing up alcohol dependence and binge drinking. Also from the way your post is written, I think you’re in the UK and we tend to have quite different drinking cultures to the US (where the majority of Reddit is from). Rehab/detox isn’t really appropriate for binge drinkers as he doesn’t have physical dependence (probably why he gets SO drunk), but his drinking is still problematic. You need to talk to him about this, but in a gentle way that says you’re just worried about him. Maybe offer to go with him to the pub, or suggest things you could do together instead? Otherwise, you could suggest going to your local substance misuse service, who should have a range of advice targeted at binge drinkers specifically (eg reducing units, drinking a soft drink between alcoholic ones,etc.).

    Do NOT bring a child into this until this is sorted. It could be the child that is pissed on next which doesn’t really bear thinking about

  3. I’m saying this as someone who has walked this road before you, please keep that in mind. If you marry this man it’s only going to get worse. A fun party boy that “only” drinks excessively will turn into a man that needs a six pack (or more) every evening after work. You can talk until you lose your voice, he’ll promise to do better, and he will, until things calm down and then he’ll be right back at it. You’ll never know what to expect at home, you’ll become anxious and withdraw from the people that mean the most to you because you’ll be embarrassed for people to know the truth about your home life. He’ll walk the line just enough to prevent you from leaving because you love him and think you can “fix” him. Men like this cannot be fixed and are best left to pursue a partner like them.

    Cut your losses while your young, it will hurt for awhile but that’s better than a lifetime of misery. You will survive and you will find love again with someone that you can build a life to be proud of. I just can’t stress enough how important it is for you to get out now. I wish I had the ability to let you see your future with this man so you could know, sadly I only have my experience to share.

    I wish you well and can only hope that you make good choices.

  4. You have to explain to your son that although he loves his uncle, what he did was illegal and he has to be punished. Make sure your son knows it wasn’t his fault, but it is your job to protect him, even when it is from family. You also have to ask him what other political issues they have discussed. Your brother might be pushing QAnon theories or other controversial ideas. Your son will still be upset but he has to learn laws must be obeyed no matter what.

  5. Your ex has been contemplating leaving you for a while. There are irreconcilable differences in your lifestyles that he tried to paper over but you brought to the forefront early. This is not an attack on you but the post reeks of a deep insecurity on your side of the relationship. That insecurity will drive a partner away if it is allowed to fester for any amount of time. I would suggest trying to go to therapy to resolve some of your codependence issues and hopefully your next relationship turns out better than this one.

  6. He wants you to email the pastor so you can be pulled in and questioned about your faith, and not face any heat for it himself (even when he’s the one who may end up benefiting from your choice). And then if he’s inclined to side with the pastor, you’ll find yourself outvoted, 3 to 1. Pastor, fiancé and God vs you. Welcome to the rest of your marriage.

    I think you should email the pastor but not with an opinion to debate, which is where I think your fiancé sees it going.

    “Hi Pastor, this line of questioning makes me very uncomfortable and it’s not a discussion I’m willing to participate in. I’m going to sit this one out, but happy to [consider alternative topics/let fiancé continue with the rest of the discussion].”

    And if they insist “I have explained that I’m not comfortable with this direction the “counselling” is taking, and I’m not going to engage anymore. I’ll continue my own spiritual journey independently. Fiancé is free to continue with the counselling journey you have planned for him but I won’t be joining. Best wishes etc”

  7. I'm so sorry but this made me laugh a little, bro really just ended a relationship over a hug, that's crazy. Don't worry, at some point you'll realize that was for the best. He definitely got issues.

  8. I think the kid ultimately deserves to know of his parentage and have the chance at a relationship with his bio father if he wants it. Plus, if the kid really is op’s then it’s not out of the question that he would find out down the line anyways due to a dna test or something. You can’t count on something like this staying secret in this day and age and it’s better off that the kid knows sooner rather than later.

  9. Okay, hold on.

    You have enough money to buy $500 suits but not enough to pay someone to take care of your dry cleaning once a week?

    Yeah I don't buy it.

  10. He isn't going to change so decide if you are ok with this for the foreseeable future or if you want something else. If it were me, I'd move on

  11. Bro this girl has red flags like a Communist Party parade.

    It's one thing to get cold feet. But she's trying to have her cake and eat it too- not be on your lease, not have any obligation, but still use your place as her own. And she wants to put a dog there, but not pay the fee for the dog.

    Something like keeping a dog should be a mutual decision together.

    If I were you I'd at the very least sit her down and have a very frank discussion. She is not acting like she is one half of a partnership, she is acting like you are there for her benefit. Her actions suggest that she wants all the benefits of having a partner but none of the responsibility of living together. If she wants to be a partner, that means you do things together. You don't just get dogs because you feel like it, you discuss it with your partner because it affects them too. You make promises (like that you're gonna live together) and then follow through. And when you make a decision (like skipping out on living together), you recognize that it affects the other person, and you accept the consequences thereof. If she's interested in, and ready for, a mature adult relationship, you'd love to have one with her. If not, that's fine, perhaps things with you and her stay more casual and low-key, or perhaps you and her break up. But either way she needs to make a decision and accept the consequences of that decision. If she wants to be your partner, that means she doesn't get to do impulsive shit like getting a pet without planning with you first. If she wants to be a free spirit, that means she doesn't get automatic support of a partner. Can't have it both ways.

  12. Until your partner's mother bans you from their hospital room as they lay dying. Because even estranged blood family trumps a non-married partner every time. Of course there's always that medical power of attorney you filled out 16 years ago and can't find now.

    And no SSI spousal benefits for the partner who stayed home to raise the kids, or automatic inheritance if the property owner dies suddenly without a will. Of course they can't get on your employer's health insurance either.

    And if your partner dies in a work or even car accident? Guess who has no standing to sue the guilty party? Sure, the estate can sue, and you can sue on behalf of the kids, but you don't automatically get part of the estate.

  13. Communication, mutual respect and trust. These are three biggies in a healthy relationship. It's a two way kind of thing, and if he's not listening, respecting your wishes and if you can't trust him… I don't think this relationship is where you are meant to flourish.

  14. Reality is that you don’t know each other very well. In 7 months you’ve lived in a happy land of few arguments and drama. Your relationship hasn’t had to “work” yet. Can it work out? Yes. Does your religious background have some play in all of this? Yes. Could this be a huge mistake that you will have to deal with the consequences for potentially the rest of your life? Yes.

  15. You're seeing these girls in their raw forms. Forms that each woman, and man makes look absolutely perfect, makeup, twisting in such a way to make the folds be gone, arching the back to push up the boobs and out with the ass. Those are played with bodies. And if yiy need help, there are many women who try to help with confidence by giving people lessons on how to pose for “pics” or even if you just do the poses in the mirror. I know I feel better when I look in the mirror and do one of those poses. Chin up honey… he loves you for YOU, the whole reason why he loves you, is because he loves your flaws. My boyfriend calls my stretch marks my tiger stripes. And he loves to kiss them

  16. It's not always a big deal, but a 23 year old dating a 17 year old doesn't exactly give me the warm fuzzies.

    I suspect that he likes being in control of you and a kid would wreck that control. The longer he can keep you from getting pregnant, the higher the likelihood that he can prevent you from ever getting pregnant. You should consider the ticking clock and move quickly if having kids is this important to you.

  17. I mean… that’s what groomers always make the victim think that they were the ones pursuing. Even if true, it’s the adults responsiblity to say no.

  18. Or maybe he is jealous he wasn’t in the room at that point. I don’t think someone can actually think that is rational.

  19. It doesn't have the potential to be toxic, it is toxic. He sounds like he'd be better off dating a mirror image of himself since he's such a perfect know it all.

    The gist of what you wrote is that he doesn't treat you with respect. He frequently gaslights you, takes pleasure in belittling and humiliating you, and has no actual interest in your comfort, making you happy or even hearing what you have to say. He definitely has no interest in becoming a better human being. And in case you haven't realized this: it's not your job to teach him. Eventually, maybe, he'll wake up and realize he needs a lesson in respect. But you do not have to stick around to wait for that.

    I'm really proud of you for recognizing these traits as red flags. And I can understand you hoping that he'll suddenly start treating you right. But he's already starting to impact your self esteem and if you continue this relationship, it'll only get worse with you eventually completely unable to find your voice at all. He doesn't need convincing. He won't be convinced. He thinks he's superior to you and he enjoys forcing you into submission with all the reasons why.

    You deserve so much better than this. So, so, much better. Stop wasting time on trying to change him. Find someone that loves you, cares about your comfort, and genuinely respects you for every beautiful wonderful trait you bring to the table.

  20. You didn’t do anything wrong. As an adult you had a consensual relationship with a non-blood related and not raised together adult. Yeah, I don’t see a problem here. But as far as your family I don’t see anything worth trying to save. They all sound terrible. Leave them behind and move on with your new job and a new life.

  21. Yoooooo what? Just jumping over the calling you a friend thing he actually told you what his friend said? Any good boyfriend would shut that slander down in seconds but not only did he not deny it, he told you she said you’re ugly. That’s like straight up telling you he thinks you’re ugly, do you even know if the friend is real? Yeah no, that dudes a dud, sorry but you should break up with him.

  22. Don't know why you are getting down voted. I too have seen women swear they didn't want kids when young. Then 12 years later they have couple and are great mothers. People do change as they get older. Not saying OP's GF will but people that young don't always know what they really want.

  23. He sat me down one night and said “we need to talk” and i was like “omg is it bad?” and he said “no, it’s not bad” and then asked “what are we?” and i said “we’re dating” and he said “yes, but are we bf and gf?” and i said “well im not the type of person to assume things” and he said “that’s fair” and then asked me to be his gf. i think he was a little bit nervous bc he had made us drink and we had gotten a bit tipsy before he sat me down to ask

  24. “We have already broken up now and I will not date someone in the future that has a problem with this.”

    It's mighty coinkidental that her and her boyfriend broke up at the same time her ex got dumped. Nothing to read into there.

  25. Well, now is a good time to question it.

    If she is sending you selfies… clearly she is not acting as a friend towards.

    Sorry, but ca’mon. You need to realize that Greta is a bit out of line and you’re just rolling with it. Now it’s complicating your relationship because your GF sees something unnatural going on.

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  27. I didn’t realize it was masturbation until I was something like 14 and had already been doing it for ten years. I knew it was “inappropriate” because it was my genitals so I couldn’t do it in public or talk about it but I never connected it with sex until I started watching porn and saw people do it. I think it’s common for girls to start really young and not know what they’re doing at all. Odd for her to get so old and still think that, but if she’s very sheltered from anything sexual it makes sense.

  28. okay but how does that confirm it was he who supplied the “drugs” (probably weed) and not her? Most 19 year olds in college smoke weed

  29. I'm 36m and have friends in their early 20s that are females. We gas eachother up and whatnot, but nothing as far is this guy is taking it. He's old enough to know the signals he's sending. He's definitely manipulating you to stroke his ego.

    That said. Don't let that sad sack ruin you. You're not the person in the wrong, here. I would definitely suggest putting some distance between the two of you. If only just to help yourself realize you don't need the attention of a tool bag.

  30. I’m sorry this happened to you.

    Absolutely talk with your father about this. It sounds like your stepmom is not well and is actively trying to sabotage your relationship with your father.

  31. I would say it’s made me better in some ways worse in others. I was a bit more reckless and impulsive before but that’s also probably just because I was younger, I’m still pretty young. Although my roommate said they noticed I don’t really go out anymore or make new friends, which is something I used to always be doing. I’ve become more insecure and spiteful though. I actually messaged his ex and revealed that he cheated on her like 5 years ago to piss them both off which I’m really not proud of.

    As for the other women thing, he went out to a bar 1:1 with an old college friend who confessed she always used to have a crush on him. He didn’t tell me this happened till several months later. I was already upset about the going out situation in the first place. Another example would be he went to NOLA w/ his best college guy friend for Mardi Gras and obviously partied every night. Some girl commented flirty things on a post he made about it complaining he didn’t post any pics w/ her…and he wouldn’t delete the comment when I asked him to until I made a big fuss about it. He was upset but did delete it. Him and his friend swear everyone knew he had a girlfriend. Maybe that’s true and the girl just didn’t care. He says all photos with her would have been group photos. Not sure if it’s relevant but I was having a miscarriage at this time which just added salt to the wound so to say.

    I’m aware nothing is lining up. He says one thing, does another, or says another thing to someone else. It’s difficult because he’s so caring and doting otherwise- always making me dinner and hardly ever has me drive and if I want to do something like watch a specific show he will consider it done. And my family loves him and knows he has a ring. My dad says I can’t marry him soon enough. I was on board with at least getting engaged before I found out about him talking to his ex.

    I came to a breaking point on NYE over a small minor argument (unrelated) and finally exploded. He said he was just waiting for me to say the word to propose to me already. He’s had the ring for months. I told him it wasn’t fair to buy a ring when he had just talked to his ex a few months ago. I said I felt like he was getting closure from her and that wasn’t fair this far into our relationship and he’s in no place to be buying anyone a ring. Now we are in limbo figuring out what to do next.

  32. The problem is that abusers are abusive?

    The victim might backtrack because their abuser threatens them into it.

    I'm sure you've heard of gabby petito? This very intervention would have saved her life.

    God, I am glad I am not American.

    Okay, I mean there's dozens of things to pick and quite frankly this isn't one of them.

  33. I would send a mass text to her entire family explaining what happened and saying that from now on if Mary is attending any gatherings you will not be. And that from that moment on you will be going NC with her. Weather or not they believe you is of little consequence you need to show your wife that you are taking steps to distance yourself from Mary. If you have her number delete it from your phone and block her on any social media you may have her on. You need to get out in front of this before her head gets filled with all sorts of crazy ideas. Then I'd find her a good therapist to help her deal with her issue surrounding her sister.

    I would also plan some fun/ romantic things that you two can do together just the two of you (maybe a romantic getaway). Away from everything and everyone to reconnect. Don't push intimacy but pamper her and show her that you are devoted only to her through something more then just words. Cause in the end words are wind actions are what counts. Be there for her and do whatever she needs.

    Right now she's afraid you're going to ditch her like all the others did when Mary came around. You need to show her through actions that will not be the case.

  34. I don't think he should *get better* at the expense of other people's mental health. He has trauma – he should visit a therapist, not traumatize other people. My compassion ends where other person's body was violated idc how big of a trauma he has, because now she has one too.

  35. Hu, this is a tohgh situation.

    I think you might want to talk about long term plans with your boyfriend.

    Like wether he thinks his mum will get around if you two get married. And how he will handle it if his mum stays this distant.

    Generally, stay true to your self. Don't try to change your way or ignore your own boundaries to please her.

    Otherwise you'll likely end up unhappy in the long run.

  36. He knows he’ll never be attached to a bird, ethically, and ethically you know he’s not going to be attached to a bird. Get a lawyer, pack a bag, and divorce him. He’s gaslighting you.

  37. Same here. If I had seen my friend “accidentally” brush my husbands crotch I would have called her out then and there. I’m not the type to hold my tongue though

  38. Imagine if you got thousands of replies to this post and every single one said that you are wrong, the normal thing is to have sex once per day until retirement (and retired ppl have sex 3 times per day since they don't work). Would you say “okay, bf was right, let's fuck every day”?

    This is something that varies, each person is different. Some want sex at least 5 per day and some never want sex. If you're in a serious long-term relationship you need to make sure that both partners are happy. You are happy with you current sex life because this is your normal. Your boyfriend is not happy, this is not his normal.

    Your bf is right when he said;

    we can only continue to have a positive relationship if we keep up our sex life.

    Because you need both partners to be happy to continue a good relationship.

  39. if she was that unhappy in her marriage, she would get a divorce. cut this relationship off immediately. you're part of the problem.

  40. Well, if you’re not into men you can’t just bend your sexuality to your will. This is exactly why I’m so annoyed when people thing that everyone who isn’t heterosexual “picks their sexuality”. We don’t pick. We’re either attracted to a gender (or sex) or we’re not.

    You’re not attracted to men. Your long term partner just came out as a man. If you’re going to stay, you’ll resent them. No matter how much you love them now. Sadly love can’t overcome everything. I’m sure this hurts a lot. But it’s probably better for the both of you to not continue dating. If you want, you can always support him as a friend.

  41. Your parents made their choice.

    You have no obligation to include them in your life if they effectively cut you from theirs.

  42. That's messed up. Sounds like she isn't totally over her ex and is not fully commited to this relationship.

  43. Sounds like one of those things he should have taken to his grave but now that the truth is out you're left with two choices: Be upset about it or take this opportunity to learn how to make the sex better. The thing with sex is that it's 100% communication based. If you're not talking about it then you're not improving. Even if you think you're an expert in bed the sex will stagnate if no one is communicating. Talk about it. Ask him what he liked and how he would like you to do things. That resolves the anxiety. He resolves any hangups and the relationship progresses from there.

  44. You broke the agreement, and technically this is cheating, but man this is the lowest level of cheating.

    You made this agreement when you were 21 and she was 19. You were kind of kids. And it may be only 5 years, but a lot of changes are going on in your brains.

    Your wife's attitude – and the attitude of anyone who has this strict of a stance on porn – seems to be more that they want to control your body and who you find attractive than anything else. Like Don Quixote attacking a windmill but you're the donkey they're riding.

    It's kind of like when men tell their partners they're not allowed to use a dildo because it's another dick. Like, yeah, when there's a boundary, and it's agreed on, you stick to it. But isn't this boundary kind of just controlling someone else's masturbation?

    If your wife wants to leave over you watching porn that's her business – she has a point, you fucked up, you broke the rules. But also maybe good riddance if she's this controlling.

  45. Good god. You obviously married a woman ten years your junior for a reason, and are now just pissed that she isn't malleable and controllable.

    You haven't been there for her as a partner or father, you have allowed your mother to consistently and viciously harass her, you don't seem to even care that she almost died giving you a child because of how “weird” you find it…you don't even take care of one kid, why the hell would you want more??

    She's apathetic towards children because she's coping with the trauma of almost dying giving birth and her husband caring more about more children than her life. I would honestly leave my husband for that, no question.

    She absolutely needs to see someone professionally about this all, (take it from someone who also had a traumatic birth but at least had a supportive partner). But you need to get your head out of your ass, kick your mother out, and start caring about your wife as a human being instead of an incubator for your offspring.

  46. Honestly, if you guys can’t do couples therapy, this is gonna be a hell of a thing to table until you’re done with your masters

  47. I don’t think I didn’t do anything wrong. I even said it was my fault and a stupid mistake, and I’m trying to fix it. If I really thought I didn’t do anything wrong, I wouldn’t be trying to ffix my mistake. Why is everyone twisting my words? I can get irritated at people accusing me of being an alcoholic despite them knowing nothing about my drinking habits? Wouldn’t you be a little irritated if someone was accusing you of something? I can’t go back in time and not be stupid. So what’s the point of all this?? I really don’t understand

  48. My best friend got cheated on by her boyfriend with a girl he met at the park. My aunts husband cheated on her with a guy she met at work. There’s opportunities to cheat all over the place. If you don’t trust her to not cheat on you…again the club isn’t the issue.

    Also she’s 21. She’s doing what most people do her age. And she enjoys it.Don’t try and guilt trip her by insinuating there’s anything wrong with her actual character, it’s just something you don’t like. If ya don’t like it…leave.

  49. No. She mentioned it to me. I didn't ask.

    Something tells me you've never been in a relationship and had random pillow talk shit come up.

  50. I feel like there's a thin line between satire and cruelty, especially when someone who is making a joke isn't part of the group the joke is about. If there is mutual trust and understanding in a relationship, some couples are okay with jokes like this. One of Jenna Marbles' and her husband's running jokes is “Cook wife”, for example. He doesn't actually think it's her job to cook; they're both in on the joke and understand it's satirical.

    I think that's likely part of where your issue stems from. You don't know whether or not he's attempting satire or if he means it, and it makes you uncomfortable. You've expressed this, and he continues the jokes. That isn't okay. You're allowed to say “I don't like this but I'm fine with you doing it with others, just not me” and he should respect that. You should sit down and say you're okay with him doing it with his friends and you understand he likes banter, but it upsets you and makes you uncomfortable when directed at you and would like to figure out a new way to joke around and show affection to each other. It'll go three ways: he agrees and you fully work it out, he disagrees and you need to decide if that's a deal breaker or not, and he agrees but then continues the behavior, in which you then need to figure out how many chances you're willing to give and what the final line of “I forgot” lays

  51. And that is still victim blaming, which is a terrible thing to do.

    Doesn't matter if you say you hope she gets out, you still blamed her for getting in a DV situation in the first place. That is an extremely toxic view.

  52. You seem to 'like' one that's not giving you what you want as they only want to be friends, and you 'put up' with the other because it's better then being lonely, now that you don't want her sex.

    You need to let Amy go because she clearly wants a secure relationship that you don't want and your already wasting her time and leading her on to a unhappy dead end. And Sara probably doesn't like you romantically if she wants to remain as friends.

    So all you can do is ask sara again when appropriate, and if she says no then look elsewhere. But cut Amy loose for God's sake.

  53. Not all toxic relationships are always toxic. There's usually highs and lows. My last relationship wasn't the healthiest. But we did love each other and the sex was the best ever and I've been with a lot of women.

  54. I agree with this. I shouldn’t have said what I did.

    as someone with anxiety, having others completely cut off communication in an argument is literally detrimental to my emotional needs. one way I could have felt supported is if he said “I know you feel alone and scared, I know you want to talk more about this, but I am going to bed. I am not mad at you or ignoring you”.

    I really just needed that. and I think I was trying to find a way to get it

  55. Future solutions: better job, extra job, move some place cheap.

    SIL: obviously the family has let this go on and she does what she wants when she wants. There have been no consequences. If I were MIL, I'd charge money to sit the kid. SIL just drops off and picks up like any other day care. Treat SIL like she is a stranger.

  56. But if you angled your phone away and someone asked you about it, wouldn't you answer honestly? You said he just completely avoided the question. Why would he do that if it were nothing?

    This is the biggest red flag in your post:

    I felt uncomfortable asking again.

    Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone you can't openly talk to? Is this the only time that's been an issue?

  57. Feel nothing. You had a shit friend, her sister's opinion is irrelevant. Cut people like that bitch outta your life. This is the way.

  58. The silent treatment is emotional abuse.

    As she explained it to me once, she goes silent as a way to ” teach me to keep my shit straight”.

    Yup, you're being emotionally abused.

    Don't stay with an abuser. Otherwise you'll end up in a situation you can't get out of.

  59. “Hey, nice to see you. I’m tired so going to lay down, but I’ll see you some other time!”

    It would’ve taken equal effort to quickly acknowledge another human being’s presence while also excusing yourself. But you didn’t even make eye contact? Rude or not, you definitely weren’t polite.

    I agree she should’ve given you a heads up, so maybe you should both apologize to each other.

  60. No. Kids is one of those things you absolutely have to be on the same page for. He may say he doesn’t care. And maybe he doesn’t. But if someone I was with kept bringing it up and said “yeah, but I don’t care if you don’t” I would let them go. Because it’s going to be a lot harder in 10 years if they leave you because it turns out they do, in fact, care.

  61. If you express your dissatisfaction then the answer going forward is no. You don’t do anal anymore, doesn’t matter who says what. If you don’t want to do it then you don’t do it. Seeing as he didn’t care when you told him the first time, it would be ideal to leave this piece of trash.

  62. I’m being so real right now so please don’t think I’m trying to be facetious.

    Have you tried journaling? It’s a great way to just write down everything you’re thinking and it’ll help you process it.

    Bottling your emotions is a huge contributor to depression, so you gotta let it out! But I would really warn against Reddit groups or any broken hearted male groups. They tend to be toxic and hateful towards women, and will make you spiral instead of helping you get out of this situation.

    You got this! Maybe even try to see a therapist. You were a whole person before her and you’re a whole person now. You just gotta find yourself again. Try to do something silly that you wanted to do as a kid but weren’t allowed to do. Healing that inner child is a great step to loving yourself.

  63. Then it's pretty odd you're trying to make a point about double standards when you don't view the behavior as problematic when either gender engages in it.

  64. Yeah Nola is only an hourish away and she puts into the friendship as well, she’s taken me to dinners, bought me clothes and ya know been there when I’ve been down. She does put in the work too.

  65. Nah don’t waste your time. He isn’t serious about you. He’s also a fair bit older than you and lives a long way away which can cause problems. There are too many issues for such a new relationship (if you can even call it that).

  66. In my opinion you were right to cut her off and you would be making a mistake to reconcile. Whole it’s true they didn’t cheat and she was honest with you and they were friends first, do you really wanna be friends with someone who dates your very serious ex right after you break up? I am 4 months out of a 5.5 year relationship and if any of my friends started dating my ex I would never speak to that person again.

  67. He only cares about investments, material stuff, his value and moral differ from yours. Not compatible in any aspect, going off from your words. I can write a whole paragraph, but im not going to. By making those remarks he knows it damages you, once you are damaged enough, he can reform and shape you into how he wants, cause by that time you already think that you need to reshape your way of thinking, expressing yourself is not allowed, don't you see? thats love to him, 'tough love'. PS: You are already doing it.

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