Well how long has the relationship been so far? If its still quite early, I mean I suppose it's worth finding out where you stand if you are serious about that kind of thing.
He screamed at me to leave over and over and then told me I was the worst kind of person and that he couldn't stand me.
He said i can't wait til you leave and some other mean things because of some small argument we had and then came to me later and said he didn't mean that.
One second he calls me his best friend and the next he's calling me a stupid fucking bitch because I accidentally hit his balls.
this is not normal or healthy and you deserve better. it sounds like this abusive relationship has worn you down and made you question your worth. i'm sorry you are in this situation and i hope you have someone to confide in honestly about what has been going on.
It's almost like every opportunity he gets he tells me to leave and maybe he just doesn't love me anymore.
I don't understand why he would act like this and say these things to me, especially now.
he is taking any opportunity to hurt you and blame things on you. he probably wants you to be the one to leave so he can blame you and punish you for the breakup. regardless, he is abusive and manipulative, and shows no signs of stopping.
I don't know how to react to the way he's treated me though.
you leave. he doesn't respect you. your life is much more important than staying with a volatile asshole, even though you thought things would work out. his nice words do not matter when his actions are abusive. breaking up is hot and scary, but staying in this will be much worse.
Congrats papa on breaking the cycle. I am breaking my own family cycle and I know how hot it is. Keep on being a great dad to your kiddos and a great person to yourself.
Congrats papa on breaking the cycle. I am breaking my own family cycle and I know how hot it is. Keep on being a great dad to your kiddos and a great person to yourself.
Open relationships don't work unless both parties truly want and benefit from it. It's especially easy for a guy to get insecure if their SO is racking up numbers.
Even the signal or notion that he didn't want it should've been, if you actually cared about the relationship, enough that you wouldn't want to. If you still want to, then it's time to admit to yourself that you don't want the relationship.
I've recently gone through something similar and trust me it gets easier every time. The first night is the hardest! I had to ignore texts from my alcoholic ex that increased in intensity, all the way up to claiming she was assaulted, then raped, and then lost and unable to find her home. (None of it was true, she never even left the house). I was in tears on the phone with a friend of mine who'd luckily had experience with an alcoholic ex and she was coaching me through it saying it would escalate and sure enough it did. I saw this pattern happen every time she drank and wanted my attention, she pick a fight and it would slowly escalate if I didn't engage.
If I didn't have that friend holding my hand on the phone constantly reminding me that I set my boundaries and breaking them now will just ruin all the hot work youve done to disengage
You were honest, nothing wrong with that. It’s better to know the relationship isn’t going to work a few months in than waste years of your life. He sounds like he’s not really ready for a relationship himself.
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I went through the same thing with my asian parents except its because i'm dating a girl (im a girl).
Honestly, read the book “adult children of emotionally immature parents”, and untangle yourself from your parents. You have the right to online your own life, and i know how enmeshed asian parents can get and how entitled they feel to control your life… you need to walk away and stop letting your parents control your life. Their actions are a reflection of their beliefs not yours.
i've not talked to my parents in about 2 years because they also refuse to recognize my girlfriend and you know what. It feels SO FREAKING GOOD
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Some of it is like sounds childish a blanket my sister got me, but I haven’t spoken to her in a while, and I want it back he also has paintings of mine. But yea I get it. Thanks
Throwing the bottle at his was wrong, him putting his hands on your neck was worse. If you two can't resolve your disagreements without resorting to physical violence, it may be time to reconsider continuing the relationship.
Girl, tell him you and your cats are a package deal. He doesn't even live! with you? God damn. Anybody that tries to make you choose them or your pet(s) is an asshole. He sounds like an insecure booty hole. Loving your cat and loving your boyfriend or girlfriend is a very different kind of love, And your boy should realize that there's no competition.
I would leave out the 'dial it back', that lets her paint you as controlling… instead i would focus on how it is impacting you, and your relationship.
She will either want to invest time in you and your relationship or she won't….. If she doesn’t, then that tells you all you need to know about how she feels about you, and your relationship.
As an aside…. “when she gets home, she's always standoffish and doesn't want to engage with me or tell me what happened during her night” is a red flag. I think you are being fed only what she wants you to know in her social media, and that there are things going on that she doesn’t want you to know that she knows is wrong.
He's definitely cheating but physically, not emotionally. That's why there is no electronic trail. Maybe he has a female gym buddy or someone married he hooks up with for sex while hubbie works. The only reason they would have an electronic trail would be if they were falling in love and couldn't resist texting to calling each other. He acted way to weird by accusing her of cheating out of the blue and then looking all weird when she told him off about accusing her.
I understand that sentiment of maybe feel regretful when I do meet someone special. But I do see a positive to having more experience. The older I get the more nervous I feel about sharing my next sexual encounter, because I really wouldn’t know how to pleasure someone. I don’t want to be like 25+ etc and a virgin, and in some ways that makes me regret turning down past sexual advances
Did you reach out to her at all after this giant fuckup? Cause that would be fuckup number 2. Also from your wording it doesn’t sound like this is the first time you have done something like this. My advice would be to leave this girl the fuck alone. Go and reflect on yourself and maybe you can be better in your next relationship.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt but after seeing new information, I’m glad you found this all out before the day came to saying yes. This isn’t the type of guy any woman should have to deal with.
Give it more time and keep communicating. 20 months is a small gap really- there’s no harm waiting longer. You’re quite right that further kids are a 2-yes, 1-no deal. It’s important to explore his fears as they are understandable- would couple’s therapy be an option for you two? It’s also not unusual for men to be pretty traumatised too by birth, but they often aren’t given the opportunity to talk about it or process it as they are supporting their partner or made to feel their feelings are less valid than hers.
Both of you must remember that your relationships with your siblings are not necessarily going to be the same as your daughter’s will be. I know sisters who get on and sisters who don’t, same with brothers. And what if you have a bit as your second? It’s important not to set your expectations as to how your children’s relationship will be, as this can cause problems and sadness if things don’t work out.
Why are you being so cruel and calling her stupid and needs a psychiatrist? You've never been wounded by someone you trusted?! She's begging for help so please let's give her some support and HELP her leave rather than making her regret asking.
Get some professional help for your special kind of crazy. You must be very good in bed because I can’t imagine staying with someone who was a stalker like this. It’s creepy AF.
He not going!! ?
Well how long has the relationship been so far? If its still quite early, I mean I suppose it's worth finding out where you stand if you are serious about that kind of thing.
He screamed at me to leave over and over and then told me I was the worst kind of person and that he couldn't stand me.
He said i can't wait til you leave and some other mean things because of some small argument we had and then came to me later and said he didn't mean that.
One second he calls me his best friend and the next he's calling me a stupid fucking bitch because I accidentally hit his balls.
this is not normal or healthy and you deserve better. it sounds like this abusive relationship has worn you down and made you question your worth. i'm sorry you are in this situation and i hope you have someone to confide in honestly about what has been going on.
It's almost like every opportunity he gets he tells me to leave and maybe he just doesn't love me anymore.
I don't understand why he would act like this and say these things to me, especially now.
he is taking any opportunity to hurt you and blame things on you. he probably wants you to be the one to leave so he can blame you and punish you for the breakup. regardless, he is abusive and manipulative, and shows no signs of stopping.
I don't know how to react to the way he's treated me though.
you leave. he doesn't respect you. your life is much more important than staying with a volatile asshole, even though you thought things would work out. his nice words do not matter when his actions are abusive. breaking up is hot and scary, but staying in this will be much worse.
Congrats papa on breaking the cycle. I am breaking my own family cycle and I know how hot it is. Keep on being a great dad to your kiddos and a great person to yourself.
Congrats papa on breaking the cycle. I am breaking my own family cycle and I know how hot it is. Keep on being a great dad to your kiddos and a great person to yourself.
Save him the trip.
Open relationships don't work unless both parties truly want and benefit from it. It's especially easy for a guy to get insecure if their SO is racking up numbers.
Even the signal or notion that he didn't want it should've been, if you actually cared about the relationship, enough that you wouldn't want to. If you still want to, then it's time to admit to yourself that you don't want the relationship.
Lol love this comment.
I've recently gone through something similar and trust me it gets easier every time. The first night is the hardest! I had to ignore texts from my alcoholic ex that increased in intensity, all the way up to claiming she was assaulted, then raped, and then lost and unable to find her home. (None of it was true, she never even left the house). I was in tears on the phone with a friend of mine who'd luckily had experience with an alcoholic ex and she was coaching me through it saying it would escalate and sure enough it did. I saw this pattern happen every time she drank and wanted my attention, she pick a fight and it would slowly escalate if I didn't engage.
If I didn't have that friend holding my hand on the phone constantly reminding me that I set my boundaries and breaking them now will just ruin all the hot work youve done to disengage
Are you getting your own alone-time needs met?
You were honest, nothing wrong with that. It’s better to know the relationship isn’t going to work a few months in than waste years of your life. He sounds like he’s not really ready for a relationship himself.
You online with him? As in hes supporting you? You have no room to tell him what to do.
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The phrase “pee play” made me physically sick
He has shown you who he is. Time in isn’t nearly as important as character and his isn’t great.
I went through the same thing with my asian parents except its because i'm dating a girl (im a girl).
Honestly, read the book “adult children of emotionally immature parents”, and untangle yourself from your parents. You have the right to online your own life, and i know how enmeshed asian parents can get and how entitled they feel to control your life… you need to walk away and stop letting your parents control your life. Their actions are a reflection of their beliefs not yours.
i've not talked to my parents in about 2 years because they also refuse to recognize my girlfriend and you know what. It feels SO FREAKING GOOD
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What you allow will continue
Some of it is like sounds childish a blanket my sister got me, but I haven’t spoken to her in a while, and I want it back he also has paintings of mine. But yea I get it. Thanks
So you just found out your husband is a pedo. My condolences. Get a divorce.
This really killed me. My ex does that too. Did “men who hate women” help and what do they recommend for guys like that?
Why do you keep avoiding answering HOW you’re supporting her?
That’s really frustrating. If you answer the above question, I might be able to give some advice.
Throwing the bottle at his was wrong, him putting his hands on your neck was worse. If you two can't resolve your disagreements without resorting to physical violence, it may be time to reconsider continuing the relationship.
Girl, tell him you and your cats are a package deal. He doesn't even live! with you? God damn. Anybody that tries to make you choose them or your pet(s) is an asshole. He sounds like an insecure booty hole. Loving your cat and loving your boyfriend or girlfriend is a very different kind of love, And your boy should realize that there's no competition.
I would leave out the 'dial it back', that lets her paint you as controlling… instead i would focus on how it is impacting you, and your relationship.
She will either want to invest time in you and your relationship or she won't….. If she doesn’t, then that tells you all you need to know about how she feels about you, and your relationship.
As an aside…. “when she gets home, she's always standoffish and doesn't want to engage with me or tell me what happened during her night” is a red flag. I think you are being fed only what she wants you to know in her social media, and that there are things going on that she doesn’t want you to know that she knows is wrong.
He's definitely cheating but physically, not emotionally. That's why there is no electronic trail. Maybe he has a female gym buddy or someone married he hooks up with for sex while hubbie works. The only reason they would have an electronic trail would be if they were falling in love and couldn't resist texting to calling each other. He acted way to weird by accusing her of cheating out of the blue and then looking all weird when she told him off about accusing her.
I understand that sentiment of maybe feel regretful when I do meet someone special. But I do see a positive to having more experience. The older I get the more nervous I feel about sharing my next sexual encounter, because I really wouldn’t know how to pleasure someone. I don’t want to be like 25+ etc and a virgin, and in some ways that makes me regret turning down past sexual advances
I’d just do it. Blow his mind as you get to know him. May you both find nirvana.
well sure, I mean if they go off on some racist tangent or something stupid/offensive then yeah, not so endearing lol
But if they go off on some obscure thing they're passionate about, even if I don't have a clue wtf they're talking about
That's adorable.
Idk, most athiests don't send thrir children to religious schools. You can pass down your culture without the religious aspect.
Are you his mom?
Did you reach out to her at all after this giant fuckup? Cause that would be fuckup number 2. Also from your wording it doesn’t sound like this is the first time you have done something like this. My advice would be to leave this girl the fuck alone. Go and reflect on yourself and maybe you can be better in your next relationship.
it was awful experience and there isn't justification for me
“Literally no one else in the building is breaking the pet rule, only we are. We were warned. IT'S RACISM OMG!”
I gave him the benefit of the doubt but after seeing new information, I’m glad you found this all out before the day came to saying yes. This isn’t the type of guy any woman should have to deal with.
Give it more time and keep communicating. 20 months is a small gap really- there’s no harm waiting longer. You’re quite right that further kids are a 2-yes, 1-no deal. It’s important to explore his fears as they are understandable- would couple’s therapy be an option for you two? It’s also not unusual for men to be pretty traumatised too by birth, but they often aren’t given the opportunity to talk about it or process it as they are supporting their partner or made to feel their feelings are less valid than hers.
Both of you must remember that your relationships with your siblings are not necessarily going to be the same as your daughter’s will be. I know sisters who get on and sisters who don’t, same with brothers. And what if you have a bit as your second? It’s important not to set your expectations as to how your children’s relationship will be, as this can cause problems and sadness if things don’t work out.
Why are you being so cruel and calling her stupid and needs a psychiatrist? You've never been wounded by someone you trusted?! She's begging for help so please let's give her some support and HELP her leave rather than making her regret asking.
Get some professional help for your special kind of crazy. You must be very good in bed because I can’t imagine staying with someone who was a stalker like this. It’s creepy AF.