My (26 M) husband and I (25 F) have been together since we were 20 and got married last year. Everything has been amazing with us, besides basic small bickering that all couples go through. We are also currently working on our communication to better our relationship. My husband has never said anything mean to me, or did anything that I think of as a "red flag". Like in every healthy relationship, weight gain is normal. When my husband and I got together, I was 130. After 5+ years of eating together, I'm now 160. My husband has gained about the same amount of weight. Note: I am very tall for a woman, so the weight doesn't show anywhere besides my belly. I went from a size small in shirts to a size medium. My husband has been encouraging us to work out, but after a 10+ hour shift, I'm exhausted. On top of that, I am enrolled in college so when I get home I do homework for a few hours each night. So by the time I'm done with work and homework it's about time for me to go to bed. I hardly even have time to shower and eat, much less work out.
That brings us to yesterday. I noticed my husband has been turning me the other way during "couples alone time". When I brought this up with him yesterday, he hesitated answering. I thought it was maybe because he doesn't like my glasses, or preferred this new position (we used to almost always do face-to-face alone time, so we could look at eachother and kiss). After asking him again, my husband admitted he no longer found me attractive. He said my stomach fat was not attractive, and he didn't like how I looked anymore. He said, "You're face isn't the issue. It's your body." And I was stunned. He tried to explain that he has been trying to get us to work out so we could both be in shape, but I was too shocked to speak. He got mad when I was upset. Repeating over and over, "You know I don't lie to you." And was getting defensive. I at one point tried to leave to stay with my friend to clear my thoughts, but he blocked the door and wouldn't let me go. After crying for awhile, I called my friend to tell her what was going on. My husband then got mad that I was telling my friends what he said, even though in the past he has gone to his friends during a fight. After he made me end the phone call, he got fed up with me crying and left to go on a walk.
I don't mind that my husband gained weight. I look at him like he put the stars in the sky and I didn't notice he gained weight, until he said it to me. Even then, I didn't care. I would love him at 100 pounds or 800 pounds. I think he is the most attractive person in the world, and I thought he viewed me the same way. I cried so hard I threw up last night. I ended up sleeping in the spare bedroom and cried myself to sleep. I have not eaten today, and don't plan on eating for awhile.
I don't know what to do to make him find me more attractive. I'm now trying to loose the weight, but I know the healthiest way to do that is slowly. What can I do in the meantime to make him interested in me again?
submitted by /u/Last_Ad_8433
[link] [comments]