As a high libido woman who was in a DeadBed marriage, I can tell you women tend to choose gender anonymity as well because if our male partners are LL, the comments tend to be filled with “Did you gain weight,” or “You probably nag him too much,” rather than getting any realistic feedback like, “He likes butt sex with other dudes.”
It is legal, but not morally right, because you have a stablished career and she is starting her adult life, which is a huge power in balance during a relationship. Thank God you have low sex drive and she will get bored of you.
Age gap is only a thing if you make it one. What does it matter if she was mature and he was immature. Or he groomed her and she doesn't want to talk about it. It was before you don't make it an issue.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
Just an FYI for my birth control ladies. Progesterone-only pills need to be taken at the same time every day. Combination estrogen and progesterone can be taken any time as long as it’s one per day.
This information is not usually volunteered because many people find it easier to not forget their pills if they have a habit of taking them at the same time daily.
I don’t care what you did or didn’t do…. He was tampering with his condoms. This is a bad dude. I don’t care if you’re married or not, nobody should get someone pregnant against their will. EVER. He is horrible for trying to put you in that position. It’s manipulative, abusive and cruel.
I don’t think you should try to get back together with someone like that. If you are determined, anyway, then I don’t think anything can proceed forward until you talk about how he tried to rob you of your bodily autonomy knowing from the beginning that you didn’t WANT kids.
It can be hard to make rational decisions when someone is intentionally pushing your buttons and ramping up your emotions. That toxic man knew what he was doing. Now it's time to work on yourself and make sure you don't fall for that kind of crap again.
Good luck!
PS: Your ex is a saint for still being around and supportive
You need a lawyer asap. I would NOT call CPS until you have an attorney and are getting real legal advice. This is way above reddit's paygrade. Calling CPS and having the child tested without legal counsel could result in your baby being placed in temporary foster care while an investigation is conducted. Go see an attorney asap. When you find one that's good, do whatever it takes to pay the retainer — borrow money from relatives/friends, sell or pawn something, idk. But you need a real lawyer here. Don't wait. The drugs won't stay in his system forever, so this process needs to be expedited.
Also, sit down right now and write out your narrative about what happened. Get a notebook for this purpose, and keep it hidden. Write down dates, times, and if you remember specific things he said, put them in quotes. Do it while your memory is fresh. Don't embellish, but don't leave anything out either.
OP please know that in 10 years or so you will look back at yourself now and realise how young you were and how little you knew about the world. Trust me. You can walk away from this person and it might be hard now but it will save you from what sounds like a miserable future. Why would you want to tie yourself to someone you’re in an open relationship with when you’re only 19?
I knew someone would say something about the snooping which I honestly am so ashamed that I did. We’ve been together for over a yr, I’ve never done it before and I’ll never do it again. Plus it truly wasn’t my intention starting off. I told him all of this and he wasn’t upset he knows me, I’m not controlling and honestly really laid back this was very out of character for me tbh I really shouldn’t explain myself but sometime a girl just has anxiety lol
I'd assume from what you told that your boyfriend was equally surprised of his own reaction to this. Try to put the jealous feelings aside and talk to him about what happened openly.
The way my disabled spouse and I divide labor is by identifying the things she CAN do without pain and letting those be her responsibility, then I handle the rest. Anything involving physical labor or driving I do, because I’m the only one who can. Anything involving paperwork or phone calls (paying bills, doing taxes, setting up appointments, etc) she handles because she can. It’s not a perfect 50/50 division of labor but it helps a lot, I don’t have to do everything and she feels good about contributing.
I love my alone time outside the house. It’s necessary and healthy to have some time in the day away from your partner. Sometimes I’ll sit in a coffee shop or in a park. I don’t see how sitting in a bar in the early evening is any different than either of those settings. If he’s not okay with you spending time alone outside of the house, that would be a red flag in my book, up to you how you want to judge it.
But be careful about using drinking to relax for sure.
im a young gun and my relationship experience hasnt shown to fully hold water just yet but i know how the mrs feels when im not up for it when she is.
If you got the money id look into some healthier replacements for your foods. I live in a place where fruits and veggies are abundant, and i feel the difference when i travel away for long periods of time.
Foods is key to keep your energy up and keeps all around mental clarity.
What kind of advices are you really expecting? •You don’t want to be “polygamous” (I put quotations because your wife is clearly not one but, using the term as a way to have her cake and eat it too) •You don’t put your foot down on how unfair and ridiculous this arrangement is. •You don’t want to leave her because I’m guessing that you love her too much.
Sad part is that you’re allowing her to be rude to other people who don’t want nothing to do with y’all situationship. You’ve been dealing with this for 7 years. You’re only getting older so, can you handle more of that toxicity until you become an elderly?
I was thinking the same thing about vagina. I could kiss a woman,but the idea of vagina? Nope. No thank you.
As a high libido woman who was in a DeadBed marriage, I can tell you women tend to choose gender anonymity as well because if our male partners are LL, the comments tend to be filled with “Did you gain weight,” or “You probably nag him too much,” rather than getting any realistic feedback like, “He likes butt sex with other dudes.”
It is legal, but not morally right, because you have a stablished career and she is starting her adult life, which is a huge power in balance during a relationship. Thank God you have low sex drive and she will get bored of you.
I doubt about jump on D tho. She had two bf before me and she's still a virgin. She's dead serious about no sex before marriage.
Age gap is only a thing if you make it one. What does it matter if she was mature and he was immature. Or he groomed her and she doesn't want to talk about it. It was before you don't make it an issue.
Hello /u/survah,
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Just an FYI for my birth control ladies. Progesterone-only pills need to be taken at the same time every day. Combination estrogen and progesterone can be taken any time as long as it’s one per day.
This information is not usually volunteered because many people find it easier to not forget their pills if they have a habit of taking them at the same time daily.
He was tampering with his condoms.
Full stop.
I don’t care what you did or didn’t do…. He was tampering with his condoms. This is a bad dude. I don’t care if you’re married or not, nobody should get someone pregnant against their will. EVER. He is horrible for trying to put you in that position. It’s manipulative, abusive and cruel.
I don’t think you should try to get back together with someone like that. If you are determined, anyway, then I don’t think anything can proceed forward until you talk about how he tried to rob you of your bodily autonomy knowing from the beginning that you didn’t WANT kids.
Your ‘Not having sex’ is more sex than my ‘having sex’ is in my relationship lol
It can be hard to make rational decisions when someone is intentionally pushing your buttons and ramping up your emotions. That toxic man knew what he was doing. Now it's time to work on yourself and make sure you don't fall for that kind of crap again.
Good luck!
PS: Your ex is a saint for still being around and supportive
He gave your baby drugs. He DRUGGED your baby.
You need a lawyer asap. I would NOT call CPS until you have an attorney and are getting real legal advice. This is way above reddit's paygrade. Calling CPS and having the child tested without legal counsel could result in your baby being placed in temporary foster care while an investigation is conducted. Go see an attorney asap. When you find one that's good, do whatever it takes to pay the retainer — borrow money from relatives/friends, sell or pawn something, idk. But you need a real lawyer here. Don't wait. The drugs won't stay in his system forever, so this process needs to be expedited.
Also, sit down right now and write out your narrative about what happened. Get a notebook for this purpose, and keep it hidden. Write down dates, times, and if you remember specific things he said, put them in quotes. Do it while your memory is fresh. Don't embellish, but don't leave anything out either.
I wish you the best.
Yeah ever since he started dating my sister
OP please know that in 10 years or so you will look back at yourself now and realise how young you were and how little you knew about the world. Trust me. You can walk away from this person and it might be hard now but it will save you from what sounds like a miserable future. Why would you want to tie yourself to someone you’re in an open relationship with when you’re only 19?
My god awful brother and aunt would do exactly this. My brother would also wear the same clothes for a week as well.
The women he's looking at look different compared to me though
Then put an /s after this
Press charges. She’s psycho.
I knew someone would say something about the snooping which I honestly am so ashamed that I did. We’ve been together for over a yr, I’ve never done it before and I’ll never do it again. Plus it truly wasn’t my intention starting off. I told him all of this and he wasn’t upset he knows me, I’m not controlling and honestly really laid back this was very out of character for me tbh I really shouldn’t explain myself but sometime a girl just has anxiety lol
I'd assume from what you told that your boyfriend was equally surprised of his own reaction to this. Try to put the jealous feelings aside and talk to him about what happened openly.
The way my disabled spouse and I divide labor is by identifying the things she CAN do without pain and letting those be her responsibility, then I handle the rest. Anything involving physical labor or driving I do, because I’m the only one who can. Anything involving paperwork or phone calls (paying bills, doing taxes, setting up appointments, etc) she handles because she can. It’s not a perfect 50/50 division of labor but it helps a lot, I don’t have to do everything and she feels good about contributing.
Or looking at pics of her friends.
This 1000%
I love my alone time outside the house. It’s necessary and healthy to have some time in the day away from your partner. Sometimes I’ll sit in a coffee shop or in a park. I don’t see how sitting in a bar in the early evening is any different than either of those settings. If he’s not okay with you spending time alone outside of the house, that would be a red flag in my book, up to you how you want to judge it.
But be careful about using drinking to relax for sure.
I am so sorry.
im a young gun and my relationship experience hasnt shown to fully hold water just yet but i know how the mrs feels when im not up for it when she is.
If you got the money id look into some healthier replacements for your foods. I live in a place where fruits and veggies are abundant, and i feel the difference when i travel away for long periods of time.
Foods is key to keep your energy up and keeps all around mental clarity.
Cut down on the on the pork and processed meats !
Coming from a huntsman/farmer ! Best of luck !
What kind of advices are you really expecting? •You don’t want to be “polygamous” (I put quotations because your wife is clearly not one but, using the term as a way to have her cake and eat it too) •You don’t put your foot down on how unfair and ridiculous this arrangement is. •You don’t want to leave her because I’m guessing that you love her too much.
Sad part is that you’re allowing her to be rude to other people who don’t want nothing to do with y’all situationship. You’ve been dealing with this for 7 years. You’re only getting older so, can you handle more of that toxicity until you become an elderly?