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Date: October 3, 2022
Normal behavior to post selfies? Of course.
You dont need his permission. Tell him its over. Block on everything. Call the police if he harasses you at home or work. Tell your family and friends.
IVO: Intervention order. Meaning they are not allowed to talk, see, or come with in 500 meters from you. And applies for all social media platforms as well.
IVO: Intervention order. Meaning they are not allowed to talk, see, or come with in 500 meters from you. And applies for all social media platforms as well.
IVO: Intervention order. Meaning they are not allowed to talk, see, or come with in 500 meters from you. And applies for all social media platforms as well.
IVO: Intervention order. Meaning they are not allowed to talk, see, or come with in 500 meters from you. And applies for all social media platforms as well.
Maybe work with her om producing something?
This that Maury shit
YES. YOU ARE BEING GROOMED
Ah. Well I hate that passive redditor shit lol
Wow. Sounds like a topnotch dude.
Becareful what you wish for you might destroy your entire relationship….
It's probably her way to release all the negative energy she has experience lately.
My ex husband beat the shit out of me then threatened to commit suicide bc he “felt so bad about it”(he did it the night I found out my childhood dog was being put down and in severe pain). I told him to go ahead and off himself because I didn’t care. Spoiler alert: he didn’t and the abuse continued and I nearly lost my life and he was facing 80 years behind bars.
When people show their true colors, believe them. There’s nothing you can do to change a person like this and it’s not worth risking your life to do so…no matter how “good” it is when “things are good”.
Let him. He's not your responsibility. Call the cops and block him.
It's not controlling if you want to know where someone in YOUR car is. If he wants to be Mr. Independent, he should be able to handle buying and using his own car.
That doesn’t matter. Just use all these comments and make a decision about YOUR car and YOUR boundaries. That’s not controlling. Taking someone else’s car for indefinite times and being elusive and vague in communication is much more controlling.
Your dad and bf suck right now but you can at least choose a new boyfriend.
I’m a guy and I find this setup bizarre.
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Love means putting someone else’s needs above your wants. Doing what’s best for them and prioritizing their well-being.
In what way have you done any of that while cozying up to this woman under the guise of “friendship” and simultaneously indulging in these entirely inappropriate fantasies, to the point of obsession? How would confessing your all-consuming “love” of six months to a married woman you barely know benefit her in any way?
How are you any different from one of those pathetic, stereotypical men who pretends to be friends with a woman, all while obsessively scheming to get into her pants? You’re behaving like a creep. That’s not who you want to be, is it?
Two convos is already plenty. Find that puppy a caring home where he'll be treated like the lovely creature he is, and trained properly to turn into a big good boy.
If he cheated on you this early into your marriage and since you don’t have kids you should leave him. You are still young and he has told you he wants to sow his oats. He got her pregnant. Do you want to be pregnant and find out he’s cheating again? Walk away. You have not been together for that long. Married 22 years is a long time. 7 is not when you think big picture. He’s not worth wasting anymore years. It did not take long for him to cheat. And this is the only time he’s been caught. You really don’t know if this is the first woman.
No one replies to every single comment on a post. I looked through your comment history and if you don’t have an ulterior motive you seriously need help. Either that or lay of the amphetamines.
Find a therapist. It's really unfair that Aman has to comfort you after being treated that way. A therapist can help you process what you are feeling and give you the space and tools to take care of him.
Ask Aman what he wants you to do when you observe a situation where you feel he is not being respected. Does he want you to stick up for him? Let him vent later? Something else?
From one international/korean marriage to another, you don't have to ghost the family, but you can invite him to your family's events more frequently I'd they treat him better there. Having plans is always a good way to minimize unhealthy family dynamics.
Alright so this is a little confusing to read so let me see if I can sum up the facts here. If something is wrong please correct me because the attempt is purely to understand the fact you are presenting.
There are two people involved besides yourself(F). New friend(F) and FWB(M). You suspect new friend of drugging you with Xanax on NYE but have no clue why you were drugged (i.e. not robbed, and not raped). While drugged you sent cruel messages to your FWB that you regret now that you are sober. You did not file a police report. You lost contact with new friend without a confrontation. You now want your FWB to forgive for the drugged messages.
Does my summary seem accurate?
“I have feelings for you not her” was the grossest thing I’ve ever read, for two reasons. One, he’s okay with using people but in this case specifically women, and two, he would ignore his feelings for you so he could fuck someone else. Big no go in my book.
The amount of people comparing an 80 hour work week to taking care of 2 kids is insane.
I get not wanting to leave her for this- but if it continues for years then you are kind of left with no choice. It’s absolutely unacceptable the house is left a mess like that.
Country of freedom, am I right?
T here who specializes in sexual abuse. It definitely sounds like a trauma response — a pretty intense one at that. Sometimes when the there is a trigger – it can cause someone to lose control of their body especially their bladder and bowel movements.
I'm so sorry that both of you were so negatively affected.
Everyone is saying that he needs therapy not a gf or that you can't help etc. They are wrong. He can have both and you can be very helpful in the healing process. If the relationship is good and worth working for — then try. It is going to be a challenging recovery especially once trauma begins to get processed. It's going to require a lot of patience on your end and sex might be put on hold for a bit. You are going to be healing because you are going to he able to be that strong support SAFE person who respects him, his body, and his decision. You will model safe sex, consent, and communication.
I would suggest finding someone who specializes in sexual abuse or an EMDR therapist.
You meet with a fantastic lawyer and take what you're owed.
Just because she thinks things doesn’t give her the right to act kn them. She must have heard of using self control, right?
You can free yourself from this. When you are free you will have the opportunity to find people who don’t randomly verbally abuse you.
Yes- you are completely justified in leaving. Once you leave you will start to see all the other BS she is doing to you. Use this as a life lesson in what not to tolerate.
Well, it sounds as if your husband is, at the minimum, crushing on this woman. Whether or not she’s aware, he clearly likes her and her company.
Should you have gone through his phone? No. But I do hope you have a record of this – either sent yourself screenshots or took photos of his phone with yours. Why? Because when you do ask him he cannot delete and then tell you you’re mistaken, etc.
You need to have a conversation. Fess up to going through his phone and ask him if the two of you should be working on your relationship or exploring other options (separation, etc). Because if he doesn’t stop this behavior, it will not improve.
You state the messages aren’t flirty in nature, which makes me think this is one-sided and she may not be aware he’s harboring a crush. Regardless, you need to speak with him.
His theory is that the coworker came over after I dropped my son off at school and we skipped work to be together at our house. His “proof” is my messy appearance when I got home and an image from our doorbell camera that shows a similar make and model to his car. It glitches and we don’t have footage of the occupant of it. It definitely wasn’t my coworker’s car though, because we were at work together.
I let him look through my phone, including my texts between me and the coworker. We actually texted each other during the time in question “hey, where are you? I’m in x location in the building. Ok, meet me at 9:00 at y location to meet with other coworker.” This still wasn’t sufficient for him. He’s not acting rationally.
We are our own life’s project manager. It’s on each of us to make plans to improve. No one outside your brain can force you
Does he have a travel card? If so then it cost him nothing but time and effort
Run. She lives above her means but not yours. Stay with her and get used to the newest and best bc she is all show.
Might get down voted to hell for this (I'm really late too, so possibly no one will see it), but I'm both the finance manager and HR at the small company I work at and literally did this just last month. It was the money saving option as I would have had to book an entire extra room just for myself (only female in attendance). I did double check with my husband beforehand to make sure he had no issues (also knows the co-worker I was rooming with pretty well). Depending on the circumstances, I don't think this is the shadiest thing ever, but I also don't know your girlfriend and her relationship with said co-worker.
Insurance will cover botox injected for migraines btw. Its life changing. It is medical not cosmetic. Look up botox for migraines.
Your husband is a POS btw
I'm hoping he's fictional. If he's not, the only cure for her migraine is divorce.
She'll no longer have a partner willing to trigger migraines, the worst pain I've experienced, especially if you projectile vomit.
Lol. It was some entertaining bs, but you know, I think it's about time to hit the unsubscribe button for this sub.
Re-read my original comment. I specifically explained that she is not responsible for ending it the cycle.
I online in a big city and everyone in hospitality knows each other
No they don't lol, and especially if she applies to work somewhere else, no reasonable employer is going refuse to hire her because she was sexually harassed in a previous company.
We are talking about a restaurant manager here. You and her are acting like this guy is a mafia boss that's going to come after her life if she talks about what he did.
So did he by telling his friend. Heyho.
I’m 25 and I wouldn’t even consider dating someone your age, not in the slightest. You’re dodging a bullet and should look at your mental health if you think you’ll be depressed if a guy 1.5 times your age leaves you. Especially if the guy sees you having a friendship with a male and was threatened by it and called you names. That 27 year old is as mature as you are or less.
What can you do? Go to therapy, there’s clearly a lot of things you need to work out, this relationship seems to be an emergent problem of some deeper issues you have. Please, go to therapy, it’s for your own good.
If you don't want to be called pathetic then stop sitting here and defending your loser cheating bf and dump his loser ass. Perhaps you need to take a long nude look at the kind of men you date or spend time with if all your friends are cheating assholes. Most men are NOT like that, but your pathetic boyfriend benefits from you thinking they are
He’s telling you how little he values you. What you do with that information will determine your own self worth.
The platonic dinners with a coworker aren’t an issue if you’re continuing to invest in your marriage. You’re not doing that however. In sounds even like you checked out of it.
So I think you’re asking the wrong question. Instead of “how would you feel…”, I think you need to be asking “Why don’t I care?”
Well, if it came from the horse's mouth then yes! If they are talking about personal things, then I am sure she spoke to him about you. She mostly likely spoke about your relationship with her. He is the type of individual who hides in the shadow and waits for the right moment to step in and be the hero. He is an opportunist.
DUDE why are you sacrificing your literal physical health for a girl who clearly does not care??
Anaphylaxis can quite literally kill you. Like it’s not a joke. Dump the selfish bitch and take care of yourself dude why the hell do you need Reddit to tell you that you probably should do things to not become unalived
Oh and next time don’t date selfish cunts. It’s usually better for your life if you don’t.
I wish I could upvote this comment a hundred times. This guy is just getting started. Testing the waters with clothing. If he sees that worked then like you said, it’ll be clothing , places, jobs. He wants to dominate this young woman. I hope she’s not too naive to see it
he lied through omission. he is gaslighting you about current sexual issues. he doesn't care that he is now causing you pain when you have sex.
Well, if you stay, YOU have to figure out how to have sex with him. Grin and bare it? He isn't going to do anything because there isn't a problem. So it is going to be all on you.
I would find that exhausting and I wouldn't bother trying. he's 43 and a selfish lover.
There are several factors in any relationship woth or without an age gap. The main issue with age gap is older men targeting younger women because of naivety, inexperienced, easier to minipulate, gasslight, and they use the age gap to attempt to feel superior, and be “in charge”.
If thoses things aren't an issue. The other more normal factors are differences in culture, music, physical energy, life stages, ie studying at university wanting to party, as compared to not going out, at home, differences in what they want form life experiences at thoses different life points.
As a 45 year old I have very little desire to go to pubs, clubs, where the music is too loud, we prefer chamber music, walking/hiking holidays, taking the kids to kid events. My wife is 45. I couldn't imagine dating a seriously younger person even if I were single.
Differences in financial terms. In travelling desires, in wanting children, in raising children. In having the energy to deal with the sleepless nights that comes with children.
Then there is friendship circles. His will most likely be in his age range. Where as yours will be younger.
Maturity levels interests can clash without an age gap.
26 to 35 doesn't sound like a problem to me if you both get along. Like red flags are just instantly age gap. Not when your 26 not 19.
She didn't encourage me to keep going, she just ignored me and kept attacking me to get away
This is very different than her “insisting on trying to get away.” You make it sound like you offered to stop and she told you to keep going, but what actually happened is that she was actively struggling to get away from you and you continued to hold her down. The fact that her crying didn't automatically make you let her go is absolutely terrifying. If a man did this to me I would never feel comfortable being alone with him again.
I think you need to educate yourself on women's experiences because the fact that you not only felt comfortable doing this but also have it framed as being for her own good tells me that you have zero idea what it feels like to be physically overpowered by a male partner.
Couples therapy is the only thing I can come up with here.