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You online in their house so he has to deal with it. If he doesn't like it then he can support you and get a place of your own and make your own rules
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This relationship doesn’t sound salvageable. There is literally nothing going in its favor. The cheating is almost secondary at this point
When you are all together, maybe at dinner, have your bf tell her in front of everyone “ please do not open the door before knocking and wait for us to respond before opening it. We need to respect each other’s privacy” And put a lock on the door. Lock it every time to enter and exit the room.
Buyers remorse.
He was consenting first, then active, then oopsie.
There is really no way, YOU could have foreseen that he would get cold feet afterwards.
Therapy would be a good thing. Yet I can't see how a “normal” relationship including sex could work with him.