UPDATE: I have figured it out! First, if she asks again, I will say that I was at Yankee Candle (she loves that place) getting her a welcome home gift. Second, I ridiculously overthought this whole thing. My girlfriend and I have been on FaceTime for the past hour just hanging out and talking. She is extremely confident and we have a very communicative relationship. If this was bothering her, she would have asked again by now. Thank you to everybody who gave nice and positive feedback. I am so excited to give my girlfriend the memorable and surprising proposal that she has always wanted!!!
Original Post:
Today, I asked my girlfriend’s parents for their blessing to propose to her. They said yes. The issue is that my girlfriend is out of town all week and we’ve been calling at around 7pm to catch up on the day. She called and I let it go to voicemail, as I was out with her parents and did not want to give it away. She called again, no answer. Worried, she checked my snap maps. I had turned them off (which I never do) so that she wouldn’t see me at a fancy restaurant and get a hint of what I was doing. After dinner, I called her back.
“Not to be stalker-y, but why do you have your snap maps off?”
I don’t want to tell her to spoil the surprise. Admittedly, this looks kind of sketchy. I’ve never done anything to make her think I’m unfaithful. But… the mind can be cruel sometimes. What’s a reasonable reason that I could say as to why I turned it off? It’s not a “lie”. More of a “ha gotcha” for the day I propose. I’ll come clean then.
Please help!!!
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I have various mental illnesses that impact my memory. When my SO would reference something from the past, I frequently couldn't remember exactly what happened or why I then reacted the way I did. I needed him to bring up complains pretty immediately or I wouldn't be able to participate constructively.
Also, similarly to you, I wouldn't realize that something set me off, and would be getting increasingly annoyed all day without being able to trace it to the original source. So I'd be short with my SO, or think he was upsetting me when it was really something else from earlier. Could be you're taking so long to identify the problem, that bringing it up when you do is kind of moot. Y'all have reconciled without words, it was a small thing, and she's wondering what you expect her to do about it so much later.
Perhaps this repeat situation is a mismatch of y'all's emotional deficits. Both of you need certain communication allowances that you can't give to each other.
She needs to be willing to sit down and try to dig in to the deeper things that are going on so y'all can figure out how you can work through things in the future