I’ve been married for 16 years and we were together for 3 years before we got married. He’s the only man I’ve been with. He’s my 1st love, my best friend and my hubby. He never cheated upon me throughout these years. I was happy with my relationship. I have family and friends, happy with our career and very contented. I actually never had a rough time in my entire life. Every problem I had formed sorted out well by making use of my husband or myself sometimes.
We went to this particular cabin for my husband’s birthday. I saw my husband cried for the first time and kneeling straight down begging in front of my sister’s best friend who were also crying and moping. At that time I felt unattached, completely shut down. I faced my husband when it was just the two of us. He cried and desperately asked myself not to tell her that I knew. I asked him what was that all about earlier he then told me that he’s convincing her to come clean, that he’s planning to divorce me personally and be with her. We honestly didn’t feel something. I felt numb plus empty. I knew We are needing lots of therapy. This individual cried that he doesn’t wish to be with me, very unhappy plus regret marrying so youthful. He’s fucking cry his heart out because of the girl it shattered me.
I don’t fucking know what to do. He’s been so distant since.
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I’m going to bring this up and I will probably be downvoted to the basement.
OP, your 18 yr old son is going through a second puberty.
I’m not saying he should stop the hormones because he should do what helps him be who he is.
But you need to understand that he is going through another type of puberty and outbursts, aggression, being a teenager, etc will all be symptoms while he transitions.
You are trying to find compromise that keeps the peace. However you are trapped between two opposing forces that are so divergent that there can be no peace.
You are also asking your son, who is going through a major life change, to stop growing into the person he needs to be to make someone else comfortable.
You cannot trap a living being in a room with no sunlight and expect it to survive. To online is to grow.
Stagnation will end in his eventual death. Be that a true death or just a spiritual death asking him to stop growing into who he wants to be will result in stagnation.
He is probably having a hard time expressing this to you because he is living through puberty. No one was able to explain themselves or their emotional state during puberty.
You need to decide today what is more important to you. Your husband’s parents or your son.
In a few years, when he has established his new normal and has adjusted to the hormones and feels more confident and comfortable in his skin, you might be able to rebuild those relationships.
But right now anyone who isn’t 100% onboard needs to be shown out the door.
The bond between parent and child is an important one. But every child knows that one day they will online without their parents. No parent wants to online without their child.
Your son knows that he will say goodbye to you someday. He will cut contact with those people who aren’t supportive or who bring other people’s drama into his life.
This isn’t his drama. It isn’t his problem. It is theirs and you need to stop forcing him to deal with their drama.
Gotta do what you need to do to survive. Your moms a piece of shit, your brother is also a piece of shit, make sure your ducks are in a row and block your mom from your life.