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Date: November 5, 2022
Damn, I'm a little bit sad for you that for some reason you felt it was okay to settle for her:( I think it's clear you guys do not belong together, and it's not because your dick isn't big enough. She lacks empathy and care for you, something that should come naturally to anyone. You deserve to have a partner that doesn't intentionally make your insecurities worse.
I am a girl and I have really small boobs, it's always been an insecurity of mine but they're my boobs and they're the only boobs I've got, and they're good boobs nonetheless so I've made peace with their size. I assume this is how you felt about your dick before your GF. If my BF had told me at any point that he would change the size of my boobs if he could, I'd vomit on the spot (metaphorically but also I'm an anxious puker so who knows…) Why stay with someone who sees no problem with putting you down in this way?
There's plenty of men who have stepchildren so don't worry you will find someone. Just don't get into a relationship with the first one who shows affection, be smart because now you are not only choosing somebody for yourself you also have to find somebody who can be healthy for your kids.
Yeah, I hate when, in the heat of the moment, my husband's pants fall off and a woman's mouth falls on top of little richard. Think how many decisions had to lead up to this and tell me if it's “the heat of the moment.” This will be a thing for your whole marriage. You will have trust issues, he will act like he can't understand why. It's just a recipe for disaster. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.
White guy who's dated black women in the past. If you're attractive, it don't matter what colour skin you have. You just gotta find the right kind of man. Definitely keep taking care of yourself, though.
I always feel sad when I recall her story about how she wasted her youth on some slimy sleaze bag asshole, but I guess that was her test in life.
And you don't view her as a slimy sleaze bag for knowingly cheating?
Thank you. I’m so worried I won’t find another relationship as great as this, that’s what holds me back. This is the only thing that’s been wrong.
Wow. Choosing the “best” and “healthiest” stance.
Just divorce if you're up to those mind games.
Looking out for someone you care about and genuinely have best intentions aren’t the same as controlling.
Thanks, I'll have it in mind.
Girl, there is no wining here. In her mind, she’s already won bc she’s the other woman. The only way you can ‘win’ is if you divorce him and move on. Be happy. Push them out of your life. Let them be miserable.
Alright let's set aside the breach of her intimacy with your snooping because I hope you know by now that even if you did find something, this wasn't acceptable.
Do you have evidence that Sean acted out of line? Messages or gifts that show that he has feelings for your girlfriend and is covertly courting her? If yes, then it's a rather simple situation IMO: Sean was hitting on your girlfriend, and she refused to entertain someone who's disrespecting her relationships and her boundaries. Even if she doesn't see him that way, it's basic respect for your partner to not keep suitors around and tolerate their flirting.
The issue is that you both went the worst way about it. You snooped in her electronic, she did entertain his flirting until you put her back against the wall, and you push for the most radical solution right off the bat. No asking her to defend your relationship's boundaries and tell him to back off, you immediately requested NC to someone who had issues with being socially isolated by their partner not even two years ago. This doesn't look good, and definitively not the type of dynamic that you want as your plan A in the future.
So maybe you should talk and have a do over to make things right? Trust that she can set strong boundaries with Sean, but if he does anything inappropriate again she will cut him off on her own. You need to be able to trust each other that you can defend the relationship's best interests (in so far they're not hurting yourself) without the other policing your every social interactions.
Upon reading the whole story, she cheated.
It's not control or insecure he doesn't like what he heard.Is about it move on or deal with it but relationship maybe off for some time or never right it's the picture in his head he see sex someone else. Though he did the same.more and more women have the I don't care gene about sex. Guess what there mean that want monogamy and they don't cheat and understand breaks lead to her on her back possible with someone else even he she don't love him like that she test drove it. Why I took on the motto no breaks. I want richer and for poorer sickness and in health who knows about that and truly cares. I had a ex cheat and say im insecure cause after she cheated. She preposed a open relationship oh not to mention engaged get off it ladies yall do worse manipulations all the dang time. Men got emotions men have hang ups just like yall do.I found more crazy damaged women that say we insecure and controlling then some men. Women down right sadistic with it laugh about it and everything. I was told I was jealous no more like disrespected and trust broken relationship morality we all must be solid in that communication to have good relationship he learned a big lesson . I think there a loss of morality code this day and age. I call it the yolo effect why I'm single to many narco trying turn me into a narco or cheater. In this guy's case he has to explain why and get over it in time or just bounce buddy just torturing ya self.
None of these people sound sane.
If it a stupid thing to you but important to her, you are incompatible.
Again the “allowed to do” and you “support her decisions” is deeply problematic. None of that is relevant to her body.
Trust your instinct. If you don't leave, she'll leave you or cheat
Did he definitely pay for it/ get it?
It's clearly not incest since none of them are biologically related.
Couples counseling is a good idea if you want it to work. Also, I would suggest that her telling you about this was an attempt to start what she sees as a serious relationship in complete honesty. I mean, if you learned about this history a year from now, 5 years from now, would that hit different?
It wasn't all him. I definitely have some responsibility too. For me the difference is I am changing and growing and he truly doesn't think he has any issues. I'm actually okay with it all at this point, thanks though.
Don't stick around if it hurts, just leave. If you feel this pain now, you will forever. You can't truly forgive her if your heart can't. So is it worth it to you OP? Can you deal with it for the rest of your life? Especially your best friend?
you give up your career or he grows out of his insecurities. Not seeing an option c that isn't end it
They can but that doesn't mean it is your responsibility to find one and change them. Why not find someone with zero history of abuse? People can change but they usually do not so what are you doing tying yourself in knots here?
sounds like he was treading water w her while you were away
Part of being an adult is being responsible for your own emotions. It does not sound like your partner is emotionally mature enough to have this relationship. You are both very young and your dynamic in this relationship does not seem at all healthy.
Your husband needs to unlearn everything he probably watched and learned growing up in his own family..Who knows he might think this is normal, either way he needs some constructive therapy so that he understands that his behavior is unacceptable.
I dunno, but it made me laugh ? awful when someone just gives you the ick for no reason innit
I read another post this morning where the OP admitted that she had “married hope” that her guy would eventually change his ways, and it wasn't working out well. If it's truly a deal-breaker for you that your BF doesn't pay attention to you on your birthday, and Christmas is the only time he gives you ANYTHING, then maybe he shouldn't be your fiance any more.
Don't marry hope, because I don't think he's going to change.
So, a Foe With Benefits? You decide. But, be very, very careful. A momentary lapse can take a long time to get over, if you're not very, very careful.
Is this the FFXIV fanfest? I play FFXIV with my boyfriend and I would absolutely not be okay with this. I know he’d be very upset if the roles were reversed and I was going off to share a room with some dude I met in game, too.
Don’t, my friend.
I saw another post quite awhile ago about someone's MIL barging into the bathroom while she was in there, so she started doing funny poses and it really threw the MIL off. It's not the most straightforward solution, but it's really funny and creative! And it seemed to work.
I will discuss this with him. Thank you
My partner and I have been together nearly 7 years and have never gone through each other's phones. Their fingerprint can unlock my phone, but only because I have medical emergencies that render me unconvinced so they need access to my contacts sometimes. Any misuse of that could get me fired.
I have private client information on my phone which I've signed a contract to protect. I would also feel violated if a friend's partner looked through our conversations, and would never do that to my friends or my partners friends.
Why do you feel the need to go through their phone if you trust them?