I’d tell them it’s unacceptable and disgusting and never going to work. Someone has let her know she’s a sexual predator and needs therapy or bad things might continue with their kids. Clearly she had no boundaries. You can’t just befriend them and tell them everything is ok
Try and communicate what happened then explain what it is you need sexually to be satisfied and you might be surprised as to how she responds and how this could potentially be a better and exciting opportunity to explore options and opportunities for your sex life
If you truly love someone, you would never EVER lay your hands on them and for that, I’m telling you right now, he does NOT love you. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this but you need to get out NOW. It’s only going to get worse
A realistic take. Op states it was long her that was the initial attractor, that's without it he is significantly less attracted to his partner. meaning her hair length ranks rather high on why he may be with said partner. He goes so far as to compare it to something absurd like a tall man losing height or a man losing inches of his penis…that's extreme and odd.
I know that your intuition told you it was a red flag but sometimes we choose to drink the cool aid. Please keep in mind that when a guy or anyone tries to fast track things it’s always a bad sign. It means that they want to bypass very important milestones and acts of discovery. This always puts you at a disadvantage because you end up in a situation where you really know little about the other.
Another rule of thumb to steer you well in life is that it takes approximately 2 years to really get to know someone. Most people can’t put on an act longer than this time. I know it’s really exciting to throw caution to the wind, but things that start too fast usually end just as quickly. So if you are after a proper relationship always run when you meet a love bomber.
Bro, bribing your daughter is next level. Btw, bless your daughter for telling you right away. Keep the trash at the curb. Not too often you see a relationship comment section fairly unanimous. This one seems to be. The exclamation mark is how your relationship with daughters improved after she left. This one is easy my friend. She should never be your wife again.
So…you're punishing your partner and withholding things because you're angry? I'm not saying it's emotionally abusive per se, a grown adult can get his own food, but this is such a childish, immature and purposely mean behaviour, I'd expect it in a 15 year old.
This is really weird and I know Reddit jumps to break up a lot but I'd be rethinking the relationship. He probably claimed he didn't want kids because he knew you'd leave. Now, he thinks he has you baby trapped. Why else would he be trying to move you across the country to his parents' house that you only met once? Something tells me that his family has been pressuring him to settle down as well.
Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm concerned that this is just the beginning of him attempting to control you. The attempting to move you across the country and especially because he thinks you're pregnant. The first step in an abusive relationship is to isolate their victim. Honestly, it's up to you but I would run.
Why the hell are you getting married if you cannot find a way to be okay with his culture? He was willing to compromise but you spew your bs about how he must be kissing their ass and immature to want to take care of his parents and keep them close.
Just move on, you lack the maturity to handle a relationship with two different cultures.
Apparently it was all his idea from the shoot, to the outfits, to the nudity. She just went along with what she thought was the professional.
This type of BS happens so often it's a cliche that there are pervy photographers. Make sure he deletes them all, because technically, he has the copy-write to them in many places and can show them or sell them to whoever he wants.
You don't get to choose your graduation date but your brother does get to choose his wedding date.
Now, maybe his wedding venue etc was already booked before the date of your graduation in which case it's just unfortunate.
Of course you go to your graduation. Is there any way you can attend both? And your parents?
I mean, I'd be so bummed at missing either event if they involved my own kids, so I'd do my best to attend both especially if they're in the same city.
If I were your brother and really couldn't move the wedding I'd try to get the graduation ceremony so that everyone could see you go up and get your diploma and cheer for you, and have that recorded so you could see it.
I get that weddings are supposed to be for the couple only and that would be a heinous crime to take any attention away from the bridal couple. That's one of the big reasons for me never wanting to get married in fact.
I DO say she lied. And I bet that she knows PERFECTLY that she lied. She lied first by saying that they only kissed, unless she counts oral sex as the guy kissing her vagina. Then she lied about not having or wanting sex.
She had ORAL sex. Sex is sex, its not just about having a penis in a vagina, m8.
You cant tell yourself and convince yourself that she has not lied to you :/ But she has, even if you deny it.
this is like something you see in a movie when you're in your 20s and think “ha. that's humorous”. it's not something normal people who aren't psychos do in real life…
I have four degrees in two vastly different fields (Literature and Biology), have graduated summa cum laude from 2 institutions, published a bunch of stuff and speak at conferences, and I watch cartoons.
YOU LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE AND DO NOT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT.
Anyone whom suggests otherwise is not worth your time.
Actually in the post OP says that her boyfriend “he wanted to make up by taking me out for dinner” so idk where you got that she told him to take her out
The fact that he doesn't take your feelings seriously is an issue. If my GF says that she has an issue with something, I try to take immediate action or try to compromise. He did neither.
Surely this isn't real
I’d tell them it’s unacceptable and disgusting and never going to work. Someone has let her know she’s a sexual predator and needs therapy or bad things might continue with their kids. Clearly she had no boundaries. You can’t just befriend them and tell them everything is ok
Try and communicate what happened then explain what it is you need sexually to be satisfied and you might be surprised as to how she responds and how this could potentially be a better and exciting opportunity to explore options and opportunities for your sex life
Holy cow lady.. go to therapy. You're mental
If you truly love someone, you would never EVER lay your hands on them and for that, I’m telling you right now, he does NOT love you. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this but you need to get out NOW. It’s only going to get worse
A realistic take. Op states it was long her that was the initial attractor, that's without it he is significantly less attracted to his partner. meaning her hair length ranks rather high on why he may be with said partner. He goes so far as to compare it to something absurd like a tall man losing height or a man losing inches of his penis…that's extreme and odd.
I know that your intuition told you it was a red flag but sometimes we choose to drink the cool aid. Please keep in mind that when a guy or anyone tries to fast track things it’s always a bad sign. It means that they want to bypass very important milestones and acts of discovery. This always puts you at a disadvantage because you end up in a situation where you really know little about the other.
Another rule of thumb to steer you well in life is that it takes approximately 2 years to really get to know someone. Most people can’t put on an act longer than this time. I know it’s really exciting to throw caution to the wind, but things that start too fast usually end just as quickly. So if you are after a proper relationship always run when you meet a love bomber.
How is it weird to you?
Very very well done. I'm proud of you internet stranger.
Bro, bribing your daughter is next level. Btw, bless your daughter for telling you right away. Keep the trash at the curb. Not too often you see a relationship comment section fairly unanimous. This one seems to be. The exclamation mark is how your relationship with daughters improved after she left. This one is easy my friend. She should never be your wife again.
Do *YOU* want an open relationship? Are you wanting venture out or are you monogamous?
If you have no interest then the answer says itself.
If you're unsure then say no until you are.
But that's a decision you can't really undo so you better make sure you're 100% confident it won't go sideways.
So…you're punishing your partner and withholding things because you're angry? I'm not saying it's emotionally abusive per se, a grown adult can get his own food, but this is such a childish, immature and purposely mean behaviour, I'd expect it in a 15 year old.
This is really weird and I know Reddit jumps to break up a lot but I'd be rethinking the relationship. He probably claimed he didn't want kids because he knew you'd leave. Now, he thinks he has you baby trapped. Why else would he be trying to move you across the country to his parents' house that you only met once? Something tells me that his family has been pressuring him to settle down as well.
Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm concerned that this is just the beginning of him attempting to control you. The attempting to move you across the country and especially because he thinks you're pregnant. The first step in an abusive relationship is to isolate their victim. Honestly, it's up to you but I would run.
Why the hell are you getting married if you cannot find a way to be okay with his culture? He was willing to compromise but you spew your bs about how he must be kissing their ass and immature to want to take care of his parents and keep them close.
Just move on, you lack the maturity to handle a relationship with two different cultures.
Apparently it was all his idea from the shoot, to the outfits, to the nudity. She just went along with what she thought was the professional.
This type of BS happens so often it's a cliche that there are pervy photographers. Make sure he deletes them all, because technically, he has the copy-write to them in many places and can show them or sell them to whoever he wants.
You don't get to choose your graduation date but your brother does get to choose his wedding date.
Now, maybe his wedding venue etc was already booked before the date of your graduation in which case it's just unfortunate.
Of course you go to your graduation. Is there any way you can attend both? And your parents?
I mean, I'd be so bummed at missing either event if they involved my own kids, so I'd do my best to attend both especially if they're in the same city.
If I were your brother and really couldn't move the wedding I'd try to get the graduation ceremony so that everyone could see you go up and get your diploma and cheer for you, and have that recorded so you could see it.
I get that weddings are supposed to be for the couple only and that would be a heinous crime to take any attention away from the bridal couple. That's one of the big reasons for me never wanting to get married in fact.
I DO say she lied. And I bet that she knows PERFECTLY that she lied. She lied first by saying that they only kissed, unless she counts oral sex as the guy kissing her vagina. Then she lied about not having or wanting sex.
She had ORAL sex. Sex is sex, its not just about having a penis in a vagina, m8.
You cant tell yourself and convince yourself that she has not lied to you :/ But she has, even if you deny it.
I’m having a nude time believing this is real. How do you date someone without any physical affection (kissing, cuddling, etc.) for a full year.
On top of that how did you never have the “are we official”/“I want you to be my girlfriend” talk
this is like something you see in a movie when you're in your 20s and think “ha. that's humorous”. it's not something normal people who aren't psychos do in real life…
That's ok 🙂 It's a super, super common misconception that a spermless semen sample always means no sperm at all in the body.
Get a lawyer.
IANAL
She ain't getting full custody. She has history of straight up abandoning her child. No judge in their right mind is going to look at that and go:
“Yeah sure, the kid can online with her now”.
There will be a custody arrangement. Worst case, shared. But she's not getting full custody.
I have four degrees in two vastly different fields (Literature and Biology), have graduated summa cum laude from 2 institutions, published a bunch of stuff and speak at conferences, and I watch cartoons.
YOU LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE AND DO NOT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT.
Anyone whom suggests otherwise is not worth your time.
Why is it anyone else's business who pays what in your relationship? Are people asking? Your wife just needs to shut up at this point.
You sound as judgy as his soon to be ex
Actually in the post OP says that her boyfriend “he wanted to make up by taking me out for dinner” so idk where you got that she told him to take her out
Yep amd the fact that he said ” other men wouldn't be happy woth THEIR woman ” going out alone was he actually thumping his chest when he said that ?
You already stooped way below with that niiiice comment about a stick hanging from someone's ass.
Internet remembers your personal assholery.
The fact that he doesn't take your feelings seriously is an issue. If my GF says that she has an issue with something, I try to take immediate action or try to compromise. He did neither.