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into_the_panda, y.o.
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Date: November 2, 2022
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The dynamic of our communication when it comes to me presenting problems that I have, is that it always ends up with her rebelling against my claim or request, and then getting stressed out. From that point, she collapses and needs “time” to take a step back given things typically get relatively heated. This then results in the issue never actually being dealt with, and as tensions lower – we eventually come back to what you could consider normal and loving, but of course there was never a civil resolve to the original dispute besides time doing the healing
Never ever marry a person like this.
She hasn’t said anything directly to me but she has to our mutual friend
It's very simple, the baby is nine months old and won't remember it, so it's more a gesture to you sister (the mother) than the niece. It is a gesture that shows care for the niece (to the mother), but since you don't get to act physically, like a aunt, with the child, I don't see why you have to act like an aunt economically.
If she doesn't allow touch, care or love, she can't expect presents and gifts (another way of showing love, but can't refuse one and expect another) especially when she has the “no touch” policy
No small order for sure! Thank you sir ?
Right now, you have to take care of yourself. Make sure you have somewhere safe (family or friends) to sleep. Then, eat and sleep right. Don't drink. Get a lawyer and let him deal with the mess; just focus on yourself for now.
Take a look at r/survivinginfidelity and r/SupportforBetrayed; you're not the only one who went through this bullshit. You deserve better and, while it may not look like it right now, if you stay doing your thing, you'll soon be in a better place.
This isn't something for your gf to get involved with. Addiction is a lifelong disease. If your mother falls to addiction again, can your gf hold her accountable? If not, what value is her support?
I had a friend read through my post wondering and she kind of said the same thing. I am giving few details which makes it very hot to understand. I think part of me wants to shield all of it because deep down I know it should have never gone this far. At one point the counselor said to me that sometimes a person has put up with so much that they are just broken. That's where I think I am. But I don't want to hurt him. There are so many things I could list off about where things have gone wrong but I was trying to get away from it all. I am so emotionally drained that I think that is why it comes off cold
Wtf am i reading? Good luck with the whole doormat thing.
Yea, I have. Like my wife, in our happy marriage, where we don't defend insecurities and build a relationship on a foundation of lying to each other. Because neither lying to each other or trying to protect our insecurities from being confronted and dealt with are good strategies for a healthy relationship.
You're just another person suggesting making your own lives worse in the long run because in the short run fixing issues is uncomfortable.
He asked point blank. If you can't have a relationship without lying, you don't have a healthy relationship and should probably climb on down off that high horse about “BRO, U DONT LIE 2 UR WIFE? DO U EVEN TALK 2 HUMANZ?” like that's the moral highground here.
No idea why someone would do that. I would probably ask her if she was okay, because her behavior was very strange.
If you don't think she cheated or wants to cheat with this guy, I would drop it. It's not worth ruining your marriage over.
ohh, so that’s the problem— well i mean, there is such thing as a “power bottom” lol, where you’re still ordering around the person on top of you? alternatively maybe your partner could get better at topping, and make you want to feel submissive? not sure if that’s possible for you ahah. but that’s what my bf does for me, if i shove him down far enough he submits (ofc in a consensual way, yk?) it could be an issue on both sides
That’s great- you made your decision. Stop accepting calls from his friends and move on with your life.
Of her feelings are valid than why can’t his be? Yes, the solution to his feeling is communicating with his GF for clarification but that shouldn’t invalidate his feelings
You don’t. If you did you would share the details. I’m out.
Nope. He would have every right to empty it out.
He doesn’t believe in marriage? He wants separate finances? Keep them totally separate. Even if it requires both signatures, he could refuse to sign
The only acceptable thing to hide this much from you, would be a gift he's trying to surprise you with.
I don't even know how he could incorporatehis ex into a gift for you, and I'm being as creative and generous as I can be.
Ask yourself why he's being more secretive with this than he was with something like planning a proposal or buying a ring.
No matter how many girls you're with, you shouldn't have to chase after them or chase having them doing anything with you.
I get what you're saying. “Teaching him a lesson” is an unhealthy response. She shouldn't be investing so much energy in a guy who can't even put the phone down for her.She'd be much better off using that energy dating other people.