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Isa, ♥, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 13, 2022
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IF she wanted to sleep with someone she would not WANT to be in a monogamous relationship.
There's two types of wants here; there's values and desires. You can want to be healthy and want chocolate cake and at the same time NOT want chocolate cake cause you WANT to be healthy. You can have feelings of desire/want for others but fundamentally when you want to be in a monogamous relationship you DON'T want to have those relationships because you value your monogamous relationship.
If she JUST wanted to sleep with someone else and was so absorbed into that want she'd disregard her current relationship, then that's not the person to be in a monogamous relationship.
If you don't care about monogomy then this dynamic need not apply, but to call monogamy controlling is similar to saying boundaries that both parties agree to are also controlling
You are not doing anything wrong. It should go without saying that using porn DURING sex and trying to hid it is disgusting. It would be a whole different thing if you two were watching it together and getting off on it as a couple. But FFS, he is watching porn WHILE he is having sex with you.
Confront him, OP. And don't put up with it, even if it's only occasionally.
Get help. Seek therapy. You're nowhere NEAR ready for a relationship. Your insecurities are palpable.
I agree with the post you’re responding to and I don’t think you’re getting the meaning…this isn’t about you. Of course he isn’t acting normal or communicating with you as he normally does. Being the loved one of someone in the hospital is definitely overwhelming, but being the person in the hospital is more overwhelming.
If I’m being honest, I’d my partner says “this guy is taking me home”, and then doesn’t text me that she made it back, and then doesn’t respond to anything for multiple hours…
Is it wrong to think she may have done something?
I could see if my partner was tired from work and took a nap or something but she’s vacationing and just kicking it. Then again my partner regularly updates me on everything so her NOT saying something would be sus.
There's nothing wrong with having a few beers and Netflix…she cannot possibly be mad over that
I just imagine she meant practice not coming too soon by edging.
I cannot imagine this ending happily ever after.
Oh no, please do not have kids with this guy.
Move on. Her fixation on her ex won’t go away anytime soon, and your resentment will grow over time. You’re very young and you haven’t been with this person for very long. The longer you wait to end things, the harder and more painful it will be.