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Date: September 30, 2022
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This was very bad advice. No one should ever encourage victims to stay silent. Please let her know that.
Since you’re not sure who it was, I would have a very real conversation with the friend without bf present. Let her know it was definitely one of the two of them, and her reaction will tell you. Then have the conversation that needs to be had about that, and move forward with what you want to do from there.
It seems to me he only brings it up when it’s beneficial to him. Once when you were having a fight and used it against you out of the blue – completely unfair on you. And the day after he proposed to you – which sounds like he suddenly just got scared and doesn’t want to admit it so he’s using the old abortion card as an excuse. 4 months is definitely way too soon and experts say it’s typical for people who rush into relationships to rush out of them just as quickly because their feelings are actually superficial and not as deep as they seem. I think that’s exactly what’s happened here, and he’s just using the abortion thing as an excuse to get out of things. Honestly sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet because if you stay with him, most likely he will forever bring up the abortion whenever it’s convenient for him to use it against you.
What are you asking advice on?