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Date: October 6, 2022
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It’s not fair on your wife or the person you “date.”
You’re not in any state to be in a new relationship. You’re not over your wife.
Talk to your wife. Tell her what happened. Tell her about your guilt. Tell her you want to fix your relationship. Tell her you’re worried she doesn’t. Ask her to be honest with you about what she wants. Work together.
I wish my ex had communicated instead of cheating constantly.
Don’t stay for a child – trust me there. You sound like you’re not ready to leave the marriage. Work through that first. You won’t find anything healthy until you do. You’re just using people until you’re ready. Up to you if that’s who you are. Some people are users. Decide wisely if that’s who you are.
Holy piss people, y’all are way too quick to throw out the divorce card for OP.
She never mentioned anything bad about her husband (although him enabling his sisters behavior is not ok). OP, have you tried sitting down and talking to your husband about this? I am under the same impression of u/crazy_perception_731 that you’re not upset over the list but rather your husband letting it going on for as long as it has. Your husband is not his family and you didn’t mention trying to work this out with him in the post prior to him discovering the list.
I think you should sit down and have a very honest talk, and have him (or both of you) consider therapy.
Are you sure she knows you exist?
Just beginning to hate him? This dude sounds unhinged. He’s dangerous and I would never get in the car with him again. This relationship is done
Your sister was given a very clear sign that your boyfriend was trash while you were dating: he made out with HER when he was supposed to be with YOU. You want a warning that he might be unfaithful some day? There you go. She learned the truth about him even before you did.
He was gentler with you because he hadn't tied you down yet. You weren't married, you weren't pregnant, you could leave at a moment's notice if he did something awful (and you did). You also never had a disagreement with him about something as big as whether or not to keep a baby, so you didn't see what would happen if he didn't get his own way. That is also not your fault.
Hopefully once your sister stops screaming at them, your parents will have a chance to think it over and realize the way they treated you was unfair. It's understandable that they'd want to get their daughter and grandchildren out of an abusive situation, but they shouldn't have taken their frustration out on you.
He’s deffo wanted no strings attached something for a while lol. I do all his washing and cooking and cleaning, and feel like I don’t get much in return. But hey, it’s ended so what does it matter anymore. I feel like once we move he might just drop me anyway