Tbh if he’s not kind and understanding about this he has no business being with someone dealing with this kind of trauma (even if he didn’t know. Not saying it’s his fault though.)
My family is the same and this is something they’ll both have to deal with in the long term and doesn’t have a quick fix. Even going NC with her parents will have a lasting effect on her.
It’s hot to know this when you’re in it and have the emotions attached which is why I’ve come to here. I do think you’re right, it is a toxic cycle. I think I just have to accept we are different in what we want. I need a lot of closeness and reassurance and he can’t give me that, not in his tool kit I guess. But it’s scary I guess and my self esteem is obviously low and anxiety seems worse leaving and getting no love and attention to at least getting some but I guess it’s a jump that has to be made in order to get what I want down the track
But if someone asks you to get a plate and a fork then you should do so, not throw a hissy fit.
Tbh if he’s not kind and understanding about this he has no business being with someone dealing with this kind of trauma (even if he didn’t know. Not saying it’s his fault though.)
My family is the same and this is something they’ll both have to deal with in the long term and doesn’t have a quick fix. Even going NC with her parents will have a lasting effect on her.
He’s gaslighting you period.
In this case your suspicions were more than accurate.
He lacks self worth, self esteem because his porn brain has impacted his body to such a degree he no longer can hold an erection.
Do not let him make a decision. He made many behind your back as he maliciously and intentionally inflicted emotional and mental trauma on you.
Contact a lawyer.
Get financials in order.
You deserve to be cherished.
You deserve to be treated with respect, kindness and loyalty.
It’s hot to know this when you’re in it and have the emotions attached which is why I’ve come to here. I do think you’re right, it is a toxic cycle. I think I just have to accept we are different in what we want. I need a lot of closeness and reassurance and he can’t give me that, not in his tool kit I guess. But it’s scary I guess and my self esteem is obviously low and anxiety seems worse leaving and getting no love and attention to at least getting some but I guess it’s a jump that has to be made in order to get what I want down the track
Did you read what I wrote?