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Date: October 4, 2022
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Another comment referred to OP's post history, seems like commentor is referencing to past posts that have speculated on OP's boyfriend's mental health/substance use.
Did you cheat of her emotionally and/or physically?
I'm so sorry! Your boyfriend is selfish, let him spend Christmas alone.
He’s an idiot.
There are intelligent people of all genders, and while it was thought that men were smarter, that was because higher education was refused to women. Since women have been able to attend higher education, women are proving that they are just as intelligent as men.
The inequality of education, and the careers following is still to be overcome, but intellectually women are as smart (personally I think smarter) as men, and this has been more than proved over and over again.
We all know how statistics are tho. How skewed they can be, some would say manipulated, to push certain narratives. Stats are applied and drawn with a broad brush and leave out very vital variabilities when applied to each individual in the real world. The proposal of “owning a gun makes it x% more likely you’ll be a hurt rather than saved by it” applied to inexperienced, untrained, and emotionally unstable people is true. BUT if you’re the opposite of all those, I guarantee that stat does not apply, or is atleast considerably and SUBSTANTIALLY reduced to where it could be deemed insignificant. We all fall prey to rhetoric, bias, narratives, and manipulation by multiple sources looking to advance their own beliefs. So it’s important, now more than ever, that we try to remain as logical and objective as possible, while approaching everything with a healthy level of skepticism and cynicism but balance it with pragmatism and realism.
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This weather is too much for me! If you have headphones put on a movie or some music, might help a little
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You weren’t together long enough to really fall in love. In the first few months you were still in the honeymoon stage.
I agree with the other comments that he has probably romanticized the relationship in his head. You can meet up with him if you really want to- to at least get some closure. But be prepared to be ghosted again if he eventually realizes this isn’t love.
You did nothing wrong, this guy attacked you there and you should not only talk about it to your bf, but also to other people you trust if you feel capable of it so they can support you
If your bf defend this guy, do not listen to him : What this guy did is very wrong and In most country this is something that could send him to jail.
Seeing someone who's so wishy washy and refuses to talk about problems or what's bothering them is a recipe for disaster. If you really want to keep trying you could text her and say you feel you made her upset and you want to talk about it if that's the case. But dude, this is areally new relationship and she's already showing you her communication style. Messy, messy.
I feel for you and your fiance. My husband is like you, and I am like your fiance. I used to desperately wish that he would just take initiative on the things I consider important, but I had to learn that his head is full of other things that I never take initiative on. For example I have never once even thought about getting the cars oil changed.
That being said, you can just let all the housework fall to her, and trust me saying things like “Just tell me what to do” is like pouring gasoline on her angry fire. Your grown, you have eyes, a nose, and hands.
What helps us is a list. A joint, physical list on a white board or notepad that lives in the kitchen. We (I) constantly update with what needs to be done, for the both of us. When my husband lumbers through the kitchen and spots a list that says “take out the recycling” among other things, he usually does it.
You can't make someone fall in love with you.
Try to be better than you were before. If she's into you, she'll be into you. If not, it wasn't meant to be.
Tell him you'll come to his next wedding
Sounds like Bob was the “little girl” this time and melted under the consequences of his own actions.
I think your note was EPIC and deserved.
However I think you should have ran it by the hostess first.
This is a preview of what your marriage is going to be like when it comes to any big decision: kids, money, house, car, vacations, retirement.
Up side: if you stay, and WHEN he lets you down again, you won’t be surprised since you already know it’s coming.
You are welcome. Glad you are getting some perspective on it. Sounds like he’s dragging you down.
Yeah he is lol
I don’t care what anyone says! Spending the night at a “friend’s” house of the opposite sex is NOT ok if you’re in a relationship. Adding anything else to that just makes it worse. And bro, he’s never “just a friend”.
It is the rose colored glasses tinted by youth and good memories. We don’t want to see our friends in any other way but good light. Sure it may be nagging in his gut – why else would he be so willing to agree? – but he doesn’t want to admit.
I have seen this before with significant consequence. You are good to stay your ground because he doesn’t want to face reality.
The way I see it, he deleted the photos when you made it clear it bothered you. That shows me they don't mean anything to him. There's not much more he can do.
Give homie a break, to put it in context your upset at what he looked at while he rubbed one out. There's much worse things to be upset about.
Honestly, after two years you know. Cut her loose and let her find someone who is sure about being married to her.
She feels like you’re stringing her along. You basically are stringing her along.
She sees her friends, who have been together for less time with their boyfriends, get engaged and feels like she has backed the wrong horse for the past five years.
Don’t get married just because she wants to, if she is not the right person, be honorable.
Explain that you do not want to get married and then break up so she can find someone who is ready to commit and more compatible with her timeline.
I’m sure,at 28, she’s hearing a lot from her family and friends about why you aren’t proposing and that must be very hurtful to her.
I used to break up with people after 18 months if I felt the relationship wasn’t going anywhere.
I thought you dislike the fact she's going clubbing with her friends without you
I'm assuming that makes you uncomfortable
Sounds like she's just a bit self-centered. She's happy to open up when she feels like it but when she doesn't she doesn't bother to maintain consistent contact. I've had friends like this and usually the best thing is to enjoy the friendship for what it is and set your expectations low.