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Let’s have fun, undress me [254 tokens remaining]
Date: October 5, 2022
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I’ll have to look into that to see what we have similar to this. I really appreciate you and your advice. Thank you!!
You have to try and get some video evidence OP. That will allow you to prove that she's a danger to your children and hopefully get full custody of them. Wish you the best man
Yeah, paying for a hotel room or hostel seems like a good suggestion.
Does that mean he brushed away your feelings as if they don’t matter?
Because that’s a more important matter than whether or not he stays the night over there. If he took your feelings seriously and reassured you properly you might feel better about the arrangement too.
You know, my parents divorced when I was a kid and there was so much drama and conflict back then that when I became single and started dating again in my 30s I quickly decided that I would not date a guy with kids (I have no kids myself either). That would exclude a lot of great guys, but I know myself well enough to know that I would not like to have parts of my life decided by someone else outside of the relationship (as in the ex).
What happened in this case for you, him deciding to spend the night at his ex’s place without talking to you first before it was decided, that would be a deal breaker for me. It’s not about whether or not spending the night is OK. It’s about actively caring for the new relationship and giving reassurance and showing respect to the new partner before making the final decision. If this had happened, would you have felt better about it and maybe said it was OK?
No, what I mean is if she begins to pressure him and he's not ready – that's terrible and should not be tolerated.
Ask her if she still has the receipt.
At least think of some original creative writing, this storyline is getting old.
This new girl is very disrespectful of you and your boundaries. If you are no longer into a relationship with your girlfriend, break up with her. Do not do it for a particular person, especially not this person who is not a good friend to you at all. A good friend would respect you and your boundaries, not selfishly continue to pursue her own desires.
Relationships change and grow over time. You and GF will either grow together or grow apart. Humans are going to enjoy positive attention. But how you respect the relationships in your life while receiving that attention, and how you react to it, will define those relationships. Having spent all my 20s, 30s, and now almost 40s with the same person in a monogamous relationship – there are MANY changes that happen, especially with intimate attraction.
Think about what you really want. And I cannot repeat it enough – that other person is not your friend.
Don't help her pay for anything until you take the paternity test.
And your source for that amazingly random assertion?
Hey guys, I think we found the cheater – read all the comments this person tries to justify his behavior!
I do think that me forgetting it at his house is a bit different than him throwing it in his pocket and bussing with it to be honest but I do agree that losing it isn’t a big deal. I see your point about me making it hot to make me happy. What would make me happy is if he listened to me and yes the ring made me happy when I had it but there are more important things which is why I never got mad at him for losing it. The only times I ever mentioned it again was when I told him if he were to get me another one I would just want the same one and I also get your point about it maybe being too much to find the identical ring but the brand doesn’t sell many rings and it’s one of their permanent collection ones so I know he just forgot what i said cause I searched it up and they still sell it. My biggest issue of all is that he can’t afford it and if he listened to me he would’ve saved money and It would’ve fixed the mistake that wasn’t even that big of a deal to begin with. I’m very appreciative of everything he’s given me and I understand he’s trying to give me a symbol of his love for me but I think if he listened to me he would know that I don’t want anything expensive just to replace it just because he thinks I still want it. Plus now I feel bad cause I don’t have much money either and since we agreed no expensive gifts this year, I spent hours upon hours making him stuff that isn’t even gonna compare to what he got me. But anyways thank you for being honest, I’ve never used Reddit to ask people for advice but you definitely helped me see it in another perspective. Let me know if you think I should still drop it though, because I’m still unsure.
Basic respect and communication are foundational to a good, healthy relationship. If you dont have these things, the relationship isn't going to work, no matter how much “love” you have. Most likely, that “living feeling” is based on what you want the relationship to be vs. what it actually is. If you are spending much of your time with a put in your stomach, knowing things are not going well, and you are not both actively working to make things better, it is not going to work out.
So you are so worked up about his order of operations 2 years ago that you made a post here? That’s seems irrelevant. He is with you. Not her. You have been together for years now. This is a weird thing to still be thinking about.
Why do I feel like, I've read the same texts a few month ago in this sub??
What post do you think you're commenting on?
🙁 it's the only antihistamine that works for my allergies.
Honestly I don't get why we can't talk about our partners weight.
Yea we shouldn't jump ship the moment they gain a pound, but I should be able to be open and honest about how avoidable changes impact the relationship.
Remain as polite as possible but bring up the concern. Ask her of possible solutions she'd want to try. Offer yours if she has none. Let her know you need her to work on things and will be there by her side for the ride
My sister had a similar bf years ago. He was controlling, abusing, narcissistic, etc etc. Whenever she tried to leave him, he threatened to kill himself. His mom knew how he was, so if she caught him acting that way, she beat his ass (he trapped my sister in his house several times amongst other things). When my sister finally left and refused to answer, he started calling me to tell me “I don't wanna be with your sister anymore but please tell her to answer me because I need my stuff. I promise I am not gonna ask her to come back. I was beside her, she answered him and he proceeded to beg her to please come back and give him another chance (this happened several times. If she was able to escape from him and get to her house and close the door, he ripped his own clothes and begged her to let him in because “look what you did to me and now my mom will beat me if she sees me this way”. All this time he constantly repeated he would kill himself. My sister ended up cheating on him, and I can't blame her, because that guy was awful and refused to let her end the relationship. He saw the other man outside on the street and somehow he knew the other guy was waiting around to go see my sister (I don't know how, the guy was in a corner not even in front of her house). Crazy guy got so pissed that he finally left her. His pride was so hurt. Now comes the interesting part. This happened almost 20 years ago. He is still very much alive. Of course those were empty threats. My sister always knew he wasn't gonna kill himself, so she was not getting back with him because of that, he just kept hounding her whenever she tried to leave him.
Moral of the story: your bf (hopefully ex) is not gonna kill himself, and even if he does, is not your fault or responsibility to prevent it. Afaik you are not a psychiatrist. Do you really wanna spend years trying to prevent him from killing himself, and wasting your own life? I don't think so.
Haven’t had a chance to read all the comments but even if the consensus is that you shouldn’t have surprised her or meddle in her work place etc., it still seems like there’s a huge red flag here. I can’t imagine how A 30 year old woman who is mentally healthy otherwise has such difficulties regulating her emotions and can’t properly communicate her feelings. If she was upset about what you did, she should be able to communicate that with you like an adult. Maybe there is something bigger going on but either way, this is a huge red flag for down the road if this relationship continues .
Your husband is an asshole. Please show him this thread and comments. And his friends are also assholes.
I’m so sad for you. I don’t believe they forgot or there was a miscommunication. I hope you leave these group of people behind especially your “husband”.
Yes, she told you the truth but that doesn't mean that she didn't have an ulterior motive for doing so. She made sure to trash your ex, compliment you, and then offer to come over to comfort you.
Definitely something you two need to talk about. If he refuses, that’s a red flag. My husband never refuses to talk about anything with me, let alone a female friend he could be close to.
If you don't want to marry someone then don't feel pressured to, but you don't accidentally get someone pregnant if you are using proper birth control.
Exactly ?
but I already had 3 back ups and 2 of my friends had their own copy in a zip file.
Allllllright, this is where I had trouble believing this. No one makes 3 separate backups and in addition gives 2 extra copies to friends. Quintuple backups?
says I need to forgive him or he’s leaving. What should I do?
Let him leave far away.
Friend, your TLDR reads as “she thought we’d have two”. Clearly this wasn’t discussed or wasn’t discussed well. Poor communication means you both need to take the L.
Changing your mind is like saying you’ll order a pepperoni on pizza and then deciding to get plain. You fundamentally altered what your partner believed her future would look like and her adverse reaction means this came to her as a surprise. I wouldn’t recommend having another child if you’re not 100% in. It’s reasonable to part ways and maintain a good coparent relationship instead of you being miserable for the next 20 years.
Good luck
It's a bit strange to share a bed at that age but to each their own I guess. Divorcing over it would also be weird.
These are entire restaurants, with full menus. And you can't find a single thing your ass can tolerate?
I’m sorry this happened. And not to put the blame on you but maybe don’t talk to someone 13 years younger? They’re gonna be immature and do shit like this that is hurtful and selfish. All he and most young dudes want is sex. As for moving on just take it as a learning experience! 🙂
OP legit doesn't sound happy. He shld just leave then.
Help my teenaged girlfriend dresses like a teenager and gets offended when I insult her about it. Ftfy.
And the dirty looks you're getting in public are actually for you not her. You don't look like her 'pimp' you look like her dad. Of course you're gonna crush her self esteem about it because you're the kind of 35 year old creep who dates teenagers. Gross.
OP there is PLENTY of upside in this story. First of all you are still VERY young and have plenty of time to find a good partner. Secondly, this is a learning experience and an opportunity of growth! What are the lesson learned from that experience? How did you became a better person? What can you so to keep growing and either avoid similar experience or manage them better? Third the relationship was only a few months and could have been a lot worse (geting pregnant/getting an STD), be happy that you dodged a MASSIVE bullet.
Here’s the issue stop worrying about everyone else, they are all adults and as much as you want to be peacemaker it’s not your job. Just focus on your son and what he needs.
WHO WROTE THE NOTE!
He's using the “I have things that belong to you and want to return” as an excuse to force your hand to meet up with him.
You can either write that stuff off as gone for good (which you already did a year ago) and block him on everything and never look back because he's a POS, which is the smartest and best option. Or you can tell him okay let's meet for coffee, show up and get your stuff and leave without hearing what he has to say and block him on everything and never look back.
70 kg is hardly fat. It’s your body , do with it what you will. Tell him you find it hurtful. He will stop or he won’t. You will stay or you won’t. If the extra weight bothers him , He will either stay or he won’t.
You need to stop being in shock and get angry. And when you do, take that anger to the police station and report it.
I mean it’s a tricky and embarrassing to tell her I don’t feel satisfied sexual by her in this situation. And I really don’t want to detract from me giving her head in the future with a conversation like this.
Any advice for how to approach this with the longevity/improvement of our sex life in consideration.
Maybe re think the relationship.
This is probably the most fucked up thing I've read here in awhile. Please do not let this person back into your life at all and seek therapy. None of this is healthy or “normal”. Do it for your child and get help.