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1. It probably has to do with feeling like she was there but you turned instead to other women to help get you off. Maybe it’s not entirely rational to feel like your partner is cheating on you in a situation like this, but for some, it’s really hard to see a partner getting sexually aroused by someone or something else — usually when she sees you like that, she’s included in it, and she’s the stimuli you’re responding to. It feels sacred and personal. This time, she walked in on you getting off to the sights and sounds of other nude women while she was excluded, even though she was just in the other room. (You were of course attempting to be considerate of her by not waking her up from a dead sleep for sex, but unfortunately it clearly made her feel bad.) It may have hurt her feelings, made her feel less desirable, or made her see you differently. Maybe it made her feel betrayed or cheated on in some way.

   Try to get her talking so you can get to the bottom of this. It’s wrong for her to continue punishing you without attempting to communicate openly and work through it together rather than giving you the perpetual cold shoulder. You didn’t do anything wrong, but you may have crossed a boundary she wasn’t even aware existed for her, and now you need to talk that out together. In case it’s helpful, my take on her not wanting you to do that while she’s in the house seems less like she wants to control you or stop you, but more like maybe she doesn’t feel good about knowing you’d choose to do that without her when she’s there and available. Of course it wouldn’t feel good to think your partner might prefer self-service or the stimuli of other nude bodies to your own body, here in the flesh. See if you can get her to let her walls down a bit and open up to you about why she’s so bothered by this.

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