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Just found out that my [37M] wife [42F] has been in a relationship with someone else for 2yrs. We got married a week ago.

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I will try to not make this longer than it has to be since I still feel nauseous about this discovery. I found out today that my new wife has had a relationship for years and her close friends also are aware of it. I ran into an old friend at the supermarket this morning that had not seen in 7-8yrs and he was with a friend of his that i do not know. I explained that I was recently married and he wanted to see pictures, so I was showing him. His friend goes "is that Emma (fake name)?" and i immediately confirmed the name and that's who she was . His face went pale and he told me that she was dating a friend of his for at least two years. I thought that he was mistaken, but he showed me pictures in his phone of the two of them together at a beach and kissing at a restaurant. I was so embarrassed and had to excuse myself, but exchanged numbers with my old friend and immediately went home. I texted him and he said that his friend that knows my now wife contacted the guy who she was dating and confirmed as much. The worst part about everything is that I found out that they had sex THE DAY that I proposed to her. And when she said that she went to Amsterdam for a funeral it was actually just a vacation with him. Fuck. So the issue now is that I'm married to this woman and love her, but cannot imagine staying with her after this. We JUST got married and I JUST paid earnest money for a house. We are renting now. No bank accounts together. No children that we share. But financially, how fucked am I if I divorce her? I am by far the breadwinner in our relationship. I don't know what to do. I want to try couples therapy but just can't ever get over this betrayal. Any advice would be appreciated.

TLDR – Wife of 1 week has been in a relationship with a guy for 2yrs and just broke it off with him. I want to break up but fear that will now be screwed financially. Currently unwilling to reconcile. Have not spoken to her about this yet, but have text and picture proof although it's all premarriage timed.

Update 2 – After admitting to it, I am working with a lawyer to figure out next steps. It's damn near 7pm now so he will follow up tomorrow. Going the route of annulment and not divorce. I have not spoken to anyone else about this because I am embarrassed and don't know how to tell them. I hoped it was a bad prank by a jealous person but everything that I've been sent just validates how real it is. "I'm going to Carmen's birthday brunch" ; nope she went to a pool party with him. "I am going to Amsterdam for a funeral"; nope that was a vacation with them two. SO MANY LIES. SEX with this guy an HOUR before I proposed to her. Her ex lover said she ghosted him since that day likely because she was getting married so she wanted to be serious. Found out the ex and her also spoke about ring shopping.

submitted by /u/ThrowRAscrewedfella
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Date: May 15, 2023

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